Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
online today!
my lipstick blog...
I suppose there are times in one's life where they have to kiss some asp, so my suggestion is to use a barrier of lipstick. Yeah... that's the ticket!
I presume that few would know better lol
I saw an ad for this book
Here's the synopsis;
Sounds like a purrrrrfect gift for the stressed out overworked person you may know,
if they want to learn from.....scratch.
If I don't respond right away to your comment,
it may be because I'm napping.
Here's the synopsis;
In response to:
Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps, they've realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they've condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as "Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One" and "Never Let Anyone Dress You." Whether it's coping with romance, surviving a social gathering, or clawing your way to the top of the corporate ladder only to realize you can't get down, the cats in this book will have you relaxed and ready to take on the world! Just after one more nap.
Our feline friends have spent eons observing, napping, pondering, napping, and taking notes about the human condition. In between naps, they've realized that we humans could use some catlike guidance when it comes to handling the ups and downs of life. In this book they've condescended to share their invaluable wisdom in short advice columns such as "Always Stay at Least 30 Feet from a Loved One" and "Never Let Anyone Dress You." Whether it's coping with romance, surviving a social gathering, or clawing your way to the top of the corporate ladder only to realize you can't get down, the cats in this book will have you relaxed and ready to take on the world! Just after one more nap.
Sounds like a purrrrrfect gift for the stressed out overworked person you may know,
if they want to learn from.....scratch.
If I don't respond right away to your comment,
it may be because I'm napping.
Surgery Today.
This surgery is a matter of time...literary. I have went through this once before in my life and as expected with any surgery, I did not enjoy it. It will be very messy and very painful. I have to cut it open right in the center and dig my hands through its guts. Luckily...I think anyway if my memory serves me right, I have some rubber gloves for the duty. I hope so anyway.
I broke my watch band pin and there was a small metal piece that also came lose on the band. After taking 3 attempts to order the right size pin, I am finally ready to reassemble. However, the small piece that came lose is missing.
It was on my desk...the bastard. But, I am constantly shifting stuff around on there and I can no longer find it. I do recall vacuuming one time around my desk and hearing a loud...seemingly...something that sounded like it was hard piece being sucked up. I have never had that noise ever happen before while vacuuming...and now this small metal piece is missing. 
I guess it will be worth the trouble if I find it...but if not....
Happy Wednesday all.
I broke my watch band pin and there was a small metal piece that also came lose on the band. After taking 3 attempts to order the right size pin, I am finally ready to reassemble. However, the small piece that came lose is missing.
It was on my desk...the bastard. But, I am constantly shifting stuff around on there and I can no longer find it. I do recall vacuuming one time around my desk and hearing a loud...seemingly...something that sounded like it was hard piece being sucked up. I have never had that noise ever happen before while vacuuming...and now this small metal piece is missing. I guess it will be worth the trouble if I find it...but if not....
Happy Wednesday all.
Do you ask questions within 'blogs', despite it being against blog rules ?
If so, Connecting Singles would like to direct such offerings to the FORUMS section, where they belong, instead.
For those who are unaware;
Blogging rule #6. "Do not direct questions to viewers. Use the Forums for this."
online today!
Number two!
A kaleidoscope of fantasy!
As I slide my fingers through your long black hair,
Caress your shoulders and kiss your neck, I care,
Your body yields at my tender and sensual touch,
Your aching and longing is so wanton and much.
Soon our clothes have fallen to the floor below,
Our climax is soon to be reached, we both know,
My hand slides between your soft silken thighs,
Our hearts temperatures, and pulse begin to rise.
Love holds no bounds as we indulge in our lust,
For we have truth.. honesty in each other we trust,
Words are not needed, our senses reach their peak,
Soon we are spent, bodies trembling and so weak.
We have touched each other like no others before,
Our inner selves exhausted but still wanting more,
Our bodies are tired as your head rests on my arm,
I will love you forever never cause you any harm.
As I slide my fingers through your long black hair,
Caress your shoulders and kiss your neck, I care,
Your body yields at my tender and sensual touch,
Your aching and longing is so wanton and much.
Soon our clothes have fallen to the floor below,
Our climax is soon to be reached, we both know,
My hand slides between your soft silken thighs,
Our hearts temperatures, and pulse begin to rise.
Love holds no bounds as we indulge in our lust,
For we have truth.. honesty in each other we trust,
Words are not needed, our senses reach their peak,
Soon we are spent, bodies trembling and so weak.
We have touched each other like no others before,
Our inner selves exhausted but still wanting more,
Our bodies are tired as your head rests on my arm,
I will love you forever never cause you any harm.
Way to go Nancy ! lol
Comedy - Today in The New Yorker
Perhaps she hid them under the Constitution. Trump would never refer or pay any mind to that.
Either way, the world can rest more comfortably now.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Pelosi Takes Advantage of Trump’s Storming Out of Oval Office to Hide Nuclear Codes
By Andy Borowitz
11:02 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, took advantage of Donald Trump’s storming out of an Oval Office meeting on Wednesday to hide the nuclear codes, Pelosi has confirmed.
Moments after Trump threw a tantrum and abruptly left his own office, the quick-thinking Pelosi turned to Senator Charles Schumer, who was also present for the meeting, and said, “Chuck, we’ve got to find those nuclear codes and hide them.”
Pelosi and Schumer ransacked the Oval Office for the codes until Pelosi finally located them in a desk drawer under a pile of empty Quarter Pounder containers from McDonald’s.
Speaking to reporters on Thursday, the House Speaker refused to divulge her hiding place for the codes, but addressed widespread speculation that she had hidden them in a book.
“Believe me, that was my first thought,” she said. “But I checked the whole office, and there were no books.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Pelosi Takes Advantage of Trump’s Storming Out of Oval Office to Hide Nuclear Codes
By Andy Borowitz
11:02 A.M.
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, took advantage of Donald Trump’s storming out of an Oval Office meeting on Wednesday to hide the nuclear codes, Pelosi has confirmed.
Moments after Trump threw a tantrum and abruptly left his own office, the quick-thinking Pelosi turned to Senator Charles Schumer, who was also present for the meeting, and said, “Chuck, we’ve got to find those nuclear codes and hide them.”
Pelosi and Schumer ransacked the Oval Office for the codes until Pelosi finally located them in a desk drawer under a pile of empty Quarter Pounder containers from McDonald’s.
Speaking to reporters on Thursday, the House Speaker refused to divulge her hiding place for the codes, but addressed widespread speculation that she had hidden them in a book.
“Believe me, that was my first thought,” she said. “But I checked the whole office, and there were no books.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Perhaps she hid them under the Constitution. Trump would never refer or pay any mind to that.
Either way, the world can rest more comfortably now.
online today!
I can tear a phone book in half...
When I was a kid, it was a really big deal.
You could see in newspapers and magazines photos of 'muscle men' advertising body building products and to show off their strength, they would tear a 3" thick phone book in half !
In addition to brute strength, there was a secret to tearing a phone book that involved folding the book in the middle so when you pulled it back from the crease line (you created) it would tear the pages individually and start a domino effect. This way, you weren't actually tearing all the pages at the exact time.
There are several phone books laying around and since fewer people are listed in the phone book, they have become smaller... much smaller. I estimate them to be around 3/8" thick now.
I had to try it and it worked. I was able to use the same technique of creasing the pages and pulling back and tore a phone book in half with my bare hands !!
You could see in newspapers and magazines photos of 'muscle men' advertising body building products and to show off their strength, they would tear a 3" thick phone book in half !
In addition to brute strength, there was a secret to tearing a phone book that involved folding the book in the middle so when you pulled it back from the crease line (you created) it would tear the pages individually and start a domino effect. This way, you weren't actually tearing all the pages at the exact time.
There are several phone books laying around and since fewer people are listed in the phone book, they have become smaller... much smaller. I estimate them to be around 3/8" thick now.
I had to try it and it worked. I was able to use the same technique of creasing the pages and pulling back and tore a phone book in half with my bare hands !!
Step 2 of Your body is no longer yours.
From now on, bodily functions are under government regulation. 
The government makes farting, burping, sneezing, and especially hiccups, illegal.
It doesn't matter if you got a cold from being raped or from a family member, or being raped by a family member, especially his member.
You should have protected yourself with lots of guns.
The only good virus is a dead virus. Shoot the bastards !
We are the government of life, thus we will kill those who disobey !
* Sponsored by the NRA.
P.S. The "country is full". "There's no more room".
The government makes farting, burping, sneezing, and especially hiccups, illegal.
It doesn't matter if you got a cold from being raped or from a family member, or being raped by a family member, especially his member.
You should have protected yourself with lots of guns.
The only good virus is a dead virus. Shoot the bastards !
We are the government of life, thus we will kill those who disobey !
* Sponsored by the NRA.
P.S. The "country is full". "There's no more room".
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »