Article Comments (2,721)

My dog says hello when I come home from work. Co-workers tell of cats that say mama, etc. I have large dogs and indoor barking hurts my ears, so I encourage moaning and mumbling noises when they are asking to go out, water, kibble. I have seen my dogs also joke and fib in doggy body language.

Some child psychology experts claim there are 7 intelligences, visual-spatial, linguistic, social, and so on. IQ tests measure 2.
Schoolchildren may be auditory learners or visual learners. Dogs, with much of the brain linked to the nose, may think their thoughts in "scentese". Anyhow, they are better than most humans at social skills, which is why we like them around.

dogs were born to hunt and kill, thats how they survived. some of you lot would put a damn thick animal ahead of a child! dont start giving me the "horrible person crack" you are wrong i am right.

sorry! are you guys real? animals can become friends but no,they dont talk, no they cant speak, no they cant do maths, get a life!

I looked up amok and postal on wikipedia. I worry that we will see more and more amok stories. There's less opportunity to walk away from an unhappy school or job situation, and a different, colder relationship between the individual and the institution than a few decades ago. We are pressured to keep acting like everything is fine, as the pecking order gets bloodier, learning and production rates are speeded up, alternatives disappear.

One example, to keep state dollars linked to attendance, schools now punish kids for sick days, even with a Dr's excuse. In my son's school district, a kid who had been hospitalized, still had to do community service as a punishment for excessive sick days. Corporal punishment districts paddle for sick days. (Seems like paddling asthmatic kids could turn corporal punishment into capital punishment)

Depression in kids and teens is tricky to see. Mine is outspoken, and I still didn't get it until he became underweight. There was a situation that was unbearable for him. I could fix it. But if the whole world is a situation...

yes it dose love is a release of nontoxic endorphins in the brain when two people connect

I care for seven intelligent rescued dogs at home and they all know they got a second chance. Would a three or nine year old know that?

Mixed races amaze me with their instincts. Those who make it in the street could teach us so many things about survival, don´t you think?

I have a picture of the pack in my profile, feel free to visit!

Thank you for your post. An interesting read.
azul_colibri

p.s. Dogs have owners ,
while cats have slaves!!

You point out some very valid things but in this world where a person can "meet" then "establish a relationship" then "marry" after only meeting weeks ago on the Internet has become common place to too many.

Men travel or pay for plane tickets so that a woman can travel to them. Is this out of laziness or disillusionment that love can simply be found at www....com

Everyone both men and women get scammed. Men get scammed because we tend to think that we have made a true conquest. Women get scammed because they think they have finally found their "true love".

Sure the Internet "brings" people closer together but actually provides more methods for someone to get hurt, scammed, abused, etc.

Sonny;
She is probably very very pretty. Pretty girls can rip your heart out.
All the same I hope you two find an avenue back together .. it sounds like you love her .. and she probably loves you, too .. in other words love exists - you are in the throes of it and you are very young, it matures when you get older :)

only if you choose the right person

maybe you are right in some points but you know ,there is a lot of women on the net is scammer and cheaters..most of the women that I met them on the net,they were told me they looking for true love with something of romantic then they ask me, how much they pay you monthly in job.?.then, they ask me to help them in money I shocked of them they were just cheaters they are not looking for love they just looking for scam,therefore i lost my trust in most of women

Life would be stunted and narrow if we could feel no significance in the world around us beyond that which can be weighed and measured with the tools of the physicist or described by the metrical symbols of the mathematician.”

Sir Arthur Eddington - (English Astronomer, Physicist and Mathematician, 1882-1944)
_______________________________________

Written like a true astrologist.

Yes because he was making money on his publications and his study; I'm sure life would be terrible without it; for billions of people though, we are doing just fine without astrology.

You know how to avoid a control freak? don't choose to be with one. it doesn't happen over night; many people love playing the victim role but they constantly choose the same bad relationship over and over. We all have choices. Deal with what is and not what might be.

Thanks for your kind comments. I am humbled and challenged by them. Keep them coming.

What *is* love? ..... Everyone here seems to have a very "clear" idea of what they are actually writing about. Are you all so certain about what love *actually* is?

fall asleep...

i know love exists because it existed in me and my husband for many years.it made me happy and filled me up,i was more patient and conciderate of others,and happier in myself and couldnt help expressing my affection because i felt at times id burst.after my husbands death i continued to feel it pouring out of me,but i had no-one to give it to and it slowly dried up,and for a while i felt nothing but negative feelings,pain,huge loss,and i missed my old life.
almost six years later im still single but i have started to feel this feeling of love in just the same way i felt while happily married,for supportive friends and my children,it fills me up and makes me happy,and sooo much more giving to everyone around me.
i believe we can create this feeling inside ourselves,the more we give and take from the type of people who value and want this love and reciprocate the more we can produce.
the main thing to consider is who we put close to us.
pouring your love and good feelings into a vacum is so obviously a mistake.
its a simple thing,and common sense to give your love to those who want and value your gift enough to give you a gift of their own.

This is a great list, I'm actually going to save it so I can catch up with what I haven't read yet. I'm also a little surprised that Orwell's '1984' got on there, but it's one of my very favourite books nevertheless, so I don't mind.
I would also recommend Frederik Pohl, especially his 'Gateway' and 'Man Plus' - unbelievable stories!
Also anything by Ursula Le Guin is a feast!

PHEWWW YOU HAVE A CHIP ON YOUR SHOULDER

gymrrat916 NOR CAL, California USA

Dear gymrrat916 , you are really excellent with this response i love and for the fact that it came from you i love you
keep being wise for the wise

To do all the following is definetely my style because I know it would make the woman feel special:
Cuddle her,hold her,Get tissue paper for her if possible, get water or juice for her to drink,
Tell her something sweet{ Oh Baby' You're sweet},
"Baby, do you know how I feel"
Let her feel appreciated,valued and romantic...............
Let her know that she is the sweetiest thing I have ever encountered.......

I too wonder is it real, I think maybe I have never truly experienced it.
I though I picked a great man when I married 27 years ago.
I am now single and pine for that one true love. I have seen it in some couples but not many.
It is said you don't need a man to be happy, but a real love where everyday you wish to make your partner happy and they wish the same for you must be just the best way to travel through life.
I hope one day this will be true for me.

martial arts and christians have NOTHING in common!!!!!!
and should not even be mentioned together in the same sentance...
now if you said "monks and martial arts",
now that would make sence!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE this. It's brilliant. The types of guys you have referred to sound just like my ex. I did the graceful exit, however he started contacting me again and telling he loves me very much. YEH talk to the hand buddy. I stopped answering his calls and texts again. Haven't heard from him in two weeks. YEY!!! What a egotistical jerk!!!!

The insight you shared is lovely...=}

I love classic music..

Brillant to read so true, realy made me think.
Number 2 of men is so true to me personaly, then again spose give them credit for just not giving up, even though you have told them where you stand.

I take evrything you say and give you a huge Bravo !
you not the only one who thinks like this. Im a man in his 40's and Im sick and tired of the crap other men leave behind.
I see it and feel it on a weekly basis ... as my brother is one of those men that knot his bed with a penknife and shout ...score the morning after some poor woman has left his home... he's been like that since he was 19... and Im usualy the bloke that has to clean up his mess ... while at the same time trying to maintaine my partnerships with my love intrests...

as Ive said Im 40 now and the ladies are turning away and chosing to scratch the itch rather than take up relationships
and a part of me understands, the other is frustraighted with the whole concept that selfish men have ruined my life with selfish act's of lust to just knot there bed's ... and shout score in there mates face and brag that they are the man...

does love stand a chance of being found ... cause at 40 the look's are slipping ... and with it hope of romance and forever...

Very good, We need pple like you and articles like this and expecially in this sites.

True love defeats all fear.

Mate, I'm penning you because I agree with you whole heartedly.
Well written!!!

Hey, we all have our cross to bare. Some of us are lucky in love and find the right fit, others, well they are fast asleep when the ship rolls in. Its like everything else in life I do believe..

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If my research has taught me one thing, it's this: Anyone can be touched by suicide. But for those who are feeling suicidal or who have lost someone to suicide, help is available—through resources provided by nonprofits like the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and the American Association of Suicidology. (If you are having persistent thoughts about suicide, call the national suicide prevention lifeline at 800-273-8255 to speak with a counselor. And if you are dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide, know that National Survivors of Suicide Day is November 21, with more than 150 conferences scheduled across the United States and around the world.)

For the rest of my life, I will be haunted by the horror and anguish Dylan caused. I cannot look at a child in a grocery store or on the street without thinking about how my son's schoolmates spent the last moments of their lives. Dylan changed everything I believed about my self, about God, about family, and about love. I think I believed that if I loved someone as deeply as I loved him, I would know if he were in trouble. My maternal instincts would keep him safe. But I didn't know. And my instincts weren't enough. And the fact that I never saw tragedy coming is still almost inconceivable to me. I only hope my story can help those who can still be helped. I hope that, by reading of my experience, someone will see what I missed.

continues...

Through all of this, I felt extreme humiliation. For months I refused to use my last name in public. I avoided eye contact when I walked. Dylan was a product of my life's work, but his final actions implied that he had never been taught the fundamentals of right and wrong. There was no way to atone for my son's behavior.

Those of us who cared for Dylan felt responsible for his death. We thought, "If I had been a better (mother, father, brother, friend, aunt, uncle, cousin), I would have known this was coming." We perceived his actions to be our failure. I tried to identify a pivotal event in his upbringing that could account for his anger. Had I been too strict? Not strict enough? Had I pushed too hard, or not hard enough? In the days before he died, I had hugged him and told him how much I loved him. I held his scratchy face between my palms and told him that he was a wonderful person and that I was proud of him. Had he felt pressured by this? Did he feel that he could not live up to my expectations?

I longed to talk to Dylan one last time and ask him what he had been thinking. I spoke to him in my thoughts and prayed for understanding. I concluded that he must not have loved me, because love would have prevented him from doing what he did. And though at moments I was angry with him, mostly I thought that I was the one who needed his forgiveness because I'd failed to see that he needed help.

Since the tragedy, I have been through many hours of therapy. I have enjoyed the devotion and kindness of friends, neighbors, coworkers, family members, and strangers. I also received an unexpected blessing. On a few occasions I was contacted by the parents of some of the children killed at the school. These courageous individuals asked to meet privately so we could talk. Their compassion helped me survive.

Still, Dylan's participation in the massacre was impossible for me to accept until I began to connect it to his own death. Once I saw his journals, it was clear to me that Dylan entered the school with the intention of dying there. And so, in order to understand what he might have been thinking, I started to learn all I could about suicide.

Suicide is the end result of a complex mix of pathology, character, and circumstance that produces severe emotional distress. This distress is so great that it impairs one's ability to think and act rationally. From the writings Dylan left behind, criminal psychologists have concluded that he was depressed and suicidal. When I first saw copied pages of these writings, they broke my heart. I'd had no inkling of the battle Dylan was waging in his mind. As early as two years before the shootings, he wrote about ending his life. In one poem, he wrote, "Revenge is sorrow / death is a reprieve / life is a punishment / others' achievements are tormentations / people are alike / I am different." He wrote about his longing for love and his near obsession with a girl who apparently did not know he existed. He wrote, "Earth, humanity, HERE. that's mostly what I think about. I hate it. I want to be free…free… I thought it would have been time by now. the pain multiplies infinitely. Never stops. (yet?) i'm here, STILL alone, still in pain…."

Among the items police found in his room were two half-empty bottles of Saint-John's-wort, an herb believed to elevate mood and combat mild depression. I asked one of Dylan's friends if he knew that Dylan had been taking it. Dylan told him he hoped it would increase his "motivation."

continues....


These thoughts may seem foolish in light of what we now know, but they reflect what we believed to be true about Dylan. Yes, he had filled notebook pages with his private thoughts and feelings, repeatedly expressing profound alienation. But we'd never seen those notebooks. And yes, he'd written a school paper about a man in a black trenchcoat who brutally murders nine students. But we'd never seen that paper. (Although it had alarmed his English teacher enough to bring it to our attention, when we asked to see the paper at a parent-teacher conference, she didn't have it with her. Nor did she describe the contents beyond calling them "disturbing." At the conference—where we discussed many things, including books in the curriculum, Gen X versus Gen Y learners, and the '60s folk song "Four Strong Winds"—we agreed that she would show the paper to Dylan's guidance counselor; if he thought it was a problem, one of them would contact me. I never heard from them.) We didn't see the paper, or Dylan's other writings, until the police showed them to us six months after the tragedy.

In the weeks and months that followed the killings, I was nearly insane with sorrow for the suffering my son had caused, and with grief for the child I had lost. Much of the time, I felt that I could not breathe, and I often wished that I would die. I got lost while driving. When I returned to work part-time in late May, I'd sit through meetings without the slightest idea of what was being said. Entire conversations slipped from memory. I cried at inappropriate times, embarrassing those around me. Once, I saw a dead pigeon in a parking lot and nearly became hysterical. I mistrusted everything—especially my own judgment.

Seeing pictures of the devastation and the weeping survivors was more than I could bear. I avoided all news coverage in order to function. I was obsessed with thoughts of the innocent children and the teacher who suffered because of Dylan's cruelty. I grieved for the other families, even though we had never met. Some had lost loved ones, while others were coping with severe, debilitating injuries and psychological trauma. It was impossible to believe that someone I had raised could cause so much suffering. The discovery that it could have been worse—that if their plan had worked, Dylan and Eric would have blown up the whole school—only increased the agony.



But while I perceived myself to be a victim of the tragedy, I didn't have the comfort of being perceived that way by most of the community. I was widely viewed as a perpetrator or at least an accomplice since I was the person who had raised a "monster." In one newspaper survey, 83 percent of respondents said that the parents' failure to teach Dylan and Eric proper values played a major part in the Columbine killings. If I turned on the radio, I heard angry voices condemning us for Dylan's actions. Our elected officials stated publicly that bad parenting was the cause of the massacre.

Things to remember on that first over 50 date...

1. When french kissing, be careful your false teeth don't fall out, or..

2. When french kissing, take your false teeth out for a smoother finish.

3. Men, don't worry as much about having condoms as whether your secret viagra necklace is locked and loaded.

4. Don't worry about having to meet her parents..they're already dead.

5. Should you kiss her on the first date?..Hell yes, in fact, go all the way, life is too short to hold back now.

6. If he/she doesn't call you the next day, should you feel upset or used? No, grateful is more appropriate.

Are you kidding, make love to her again, at least a couple of more times...