Article Comments (2,720)

what? getting into a fight is not fun?

I love having fun debating things that my significant other has a different opinion on, when the topic is something neither of us feel is important. It provides an opportunity to get a discussion going and can open the door to any topic that is important to either, where there is something bothering one of you. That gives you the opportunity to resolve that important issue before it grows into something that can threaten the relationship.

Then the final benefit of the "fight" over something neither of you really care about, you get the kiss and make up after the fight. ]:)

oh sure, I'll make sure I use my natural speaking voice on a date. You'll have to pardon the 3 to 5 minute pauses in my conversation while I catch my breath though.
My lung disease actually forces me to be very low volume and raise the pitch of my voice. :/

oh, you missed one ;)
"He won't put you on ANY of his social networking accounts at all"

unless, like me, there is zero social networking site/service activity, I would say that not adding you at all would be a bad sign.

and yes, no facebook, twitter, reddit, linkedin, instagram, g+ ... [ ad nausium ] accounts for me.
I would rather hear about my friends and loved ones day in person than through intrusive technologies that interrupt your day to inform you.

"Sistahs, we gotta start backing each other up. There's a saying that a man wouldn't cheat if he didn't have anyone to cheat with."

There is a second part to that which is missing, Women have rings [ frequently ] to show they are in a relationship, men don't
so how are you to know if he is a cheating or not?
maybe you should be demanding he wear a ring at all times also.

Is the reason that they were not the person you thought, or is it that over the course of time you simply grew apart?

That is how my marriage died, we grew apart rather than closer. [ having a time zone and international border separating us helped promote that :( ]

Our relationship changed to the point a marriage is not the right expression, we are, and always will be, best friends.

Well, the old, infamous, quote seems to fit here perfectly. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

The "Trophy" life partner relationships frequently fail easily, look for someone that you have more than looks to like about.
While looks definitely help create the initial attraction, they aren't a great criteria for basing a long term relationship on.

Not good, nope, nope, nope.

I already have to change my powered by caffeine and nicotine signs cause of needing to quit the smoking for my lungs, now you telling me I need to get rid of the caffeine also?

don't you know us geeks need our habits? you trying to destroy the lives that created the internet or something?

In an assertiveness seminar I attended they had an interesting idea about Communication in a relationship, specifically when it is a disagreement.

Ladies, if you get him emotionally distraught [ pissed off, upset, angry ] you have taken away the majority of his ability to speak.
When a guy says I don't want to talk about it right now, it usually means he is to angry to think or articulate and he needs the time to cool off in order to be able to talk about it.

This is the exact opposite of what happens with women, they get angry / upset, their ability to communicate increases.

The seminar leader suggested that this goes back to before recorded history, men were silently stalking food [ silence and focus required ], women were chattering while gathering food and watching the children [ activities made easier with the group and talk ]

hmm, focus, interesting, ever noticed how hard it can be to distract a guy when he is completely focused on something? Think a highly developed capacity to focus in men from the hunter / gatherer era might have something to do with that? ;)

The silence needed from the same time period made stressful / emotional situations reduce a males capacity to speak.

Like I started with, an interesting idea for the dynamics in a disagreement [ argument / fight ] between a couple.

well, these same type of things do go both ways, where you lose interest in him because of the extra time together and what it reveals.

I figured out long ago that any lasting relationship, the interests we DON'T share are as important to it's health as those we do share. The time apart gives us the space we all need sometimes, and it also gives us things we can talk about with each other where we weren't both there.

I'm not saying it will be a change in my interests,or yours, but talking about what we did with friends other than each other is a good way to keep yourselves together, rather than growing apart from to much time together.

"and the harsh reality is that there aren't enough good men to go around"


you do know that that is a naturally obvious and intended situation?

When the birth ratio is 9 girls born for every boy, there is never going to be equal numbers so men are a short commodity.

Ok, after having worked cooking for 20 years I would go for the home cooked dinner, consisting of a mix of both of our favourite dishes [ making sure not to make any that she can't stand, naturally ]
followed by a movie of her choice.

Think that would work for a Valentines date? ;)

I cannot agree more with this article!

Unfortunately, there are some real narcistic, supressing men out there and they prey on women with low self esteem and that are totally unsuspecting (especially if they have not encountered the type and can identify the early warning signs) - in order to not lose this man, they will do basically anything and everything for him. Off course these types of men dangle the "maybe one day I will marry you" carrot of whatever promises they pick up on that the lady might desire.

Please ladies, be vigilant and stand on your rights - if he wants to break it off, let him go. You will be doing yourself a favour at the end of the day!

Be proud, be strong and keep your self-worth

Hilarious article, but what Boomerang says I agree with. But there are Rastafari Africans, as far as not living the "Babylonian" modern way....

Wow! I just felt like I was psycho analyzed! This article is so dead on. I came from an abusive childhood, which lead into abusive relationships. The meaner a man was to me; the more I loved him. I took me many years to realize that love DOES NOT hurt. My only hope is that these experiences have not left me damaged for the right guy!

Well Mimzy you were attracted to me and when I did not
act like the perfect gentleman you told me to get lost.
Hmmmmm However I guess I had it coming.

I hope 2014 will be the year when everybody finds somebody. It is splendid indeed. Take a LOOK AT THIS, Febuary 14th is that Day of Giving Heart. 2014/02/14 - what a nice time for a date! 2:14:2:14

Saoibh... I m excited you could feel the freshness of reading the tips from my blog and agreed on what said. Hope all is good with you over there in Dublin

YOU SEE MOST MEN WONT EVEN READ ALL OF THIS ,EVEN DO ITS VERY WELL DONE ,,SOMETIME WE ARE IN LOVE ,BUT WE ARE SO IN LOVE WITH THINGS AND PEOPLE A ROUND US, WE LOSE ALL OR FEELINGS THAT WE SHOULD HAVE ,,,,,,,,,,,,TERRY

guess in a 14 as i have 2 cats lol

only if shes a lesbian at heart

most likly her pain and loss was also unbareable. She probbly saw your brother in you. We as children never understand why but as adults we have the choice to break the cycle. The abuse my father inflicted on me and my siblings I could never understand,now as an adult I know more as my father sufferd from millatary trama and depression,he was an acholic,unemployed,single father of 3 and his only way was to beat you into submishion. He did love us but he did not know how to show it untill we where no longer childern. The scars of child hood will always be but the key is to learn from them and learn not to use the bad but to use the good.

father figures are nothing but insecure,controlling men. they need to control everything and that includs you. Also you will never be able to live up to there expectations and they will constantly nag,wine,complane and eventually beat on you to get you to submit to there ways. I say no thank you to the father figure as I have been there and it is toxic in every sence of the word.

not all women want the bad guy...as for my self i may be attracted to them but there ugly behavor just makes me chringe. I would take a loyal puppy over a snake any day.

looking 4 a gal near palmdesert California

I want my freedom and never want a father figure anymore and loose money .

So true...Good tips. No.1 is really at the top of the list. If he doesn't call...don't expect much. :-)

Well I think there are some good men I have met some ,there was not the magic I am looking for sadly ..,but what really surprised me is how people can be so stressed,and sometimes agressive for no reason,if you want to meet a person who loves you you have to be loving and positive .good luck .

I am a man and really enjoyed reading through this. There is a lot of truth to it.

My X whom I loved very much but had to leave because of mood swings, the silent treatment, the fact that everything, and I mean everything had to be what he wanted, that meant, no dating, no going to coffee shops or pubs because he hated them, slowly being isolated, staying 4 days in his house and coming home and not knowing who i was or where I was, his inability to see what this was doing to me, the fact that he said Im not dating and Im not giving any commitment, monagymy for me is commitment and expected somebody my age to come over for a long weekend every weekend and basically watch TV was of itself abusive and controlling.
Yes, alot of those boxes have been ticked, Thanks

nothing!!!

Fantastic site, keep up the good work guys. xx

It hard to find a really good woman out there

Very informative article. Thanks :)

Hi,I'm from Sri Lanka,I like girls all over the world !

You make this interesting statement that Yeshua did not come to establish a religion and you are correct but that is because there was one already established.
He worshiped in the faith and manner that G-d had already set up for His people - the Jewish faith.
He did not come to this earth to start a new religion but to be the Messiah for His chosen people and offer a gateway to salvation to all those who accepted the teachings He gave.
Religions (denominations) came into the mix when Constantine picked "christianity" as the "religion" of his kingdom and he incorporated sun god worship practices into the faith. He eliminated by decree all of the Holy Day observances that up until that time the followers were still involved in. Check into the Council of Nicea where all of these things were discussed and voted on such as the moving of worship from the Seventh day (Sabbath) to sunday worship.
Most people in churches today do not know from whence they evolved and how they came to believe and practice what they do today.
G-d wants His people (believers, followers) to be a source of comfort, strength, support, communion and love for each other and just as they had it set up in Acts we should be doing today. Most congregations have lost the purity of being taught by the Word, being corrected by the Word, being convicted by the Word, and being encouraged by the Word.
Shalom

Talk about being biased towards men!!!! Many women on CS have fake profiles as well using broken English and come from questionable countries that are known to be socialist infiltrators. So don't always victimize men as a whole who are
are real with their intentions.
To the women out there on CS stop playing the victim stop pulling out the victim card every time a gentleman wants to make contact. CS is very biased towards the women and feels they must protect little waifs. I do not mind protecting people's interest
However Women should be smart and clever like serpents to discern what is real and what is a scam. A simple click and the scammer is blocked.