Scary nature of relationships

Relationships can be a scary situation...especially if you are coming from a past relationship that had failed badly for you.

Why are relationships scary? It is primarily due to the uncertainty of the outcome of that relationship. Both men and women can get deeply hurt if they become involved with the wrong person. It is wise to vet the person you are going to become involved with...and that takes time for that the happen. However, what is the purpose of this vetting process if you do not understand the human dynamics of a relationship in the first place, and the human nature of toxic traits?

Many people have been properly taught what to look out for with toxic traits of people. This teaching primarily comes from one's parents. But, what happens when one is not taught that from their parents? What happens when one is raised in a family that did not have both parents? There are fundamental elements they are not going to learn...thus they still remain uneducated, picking wrong, single/divorced, and scared of entering a new relationship.

When one is educated on human nature and how to spot toxic traits with others, they can then make better decisions in their vetting process; thus, being willing and able to enter a new relationship in a more confident and comfortable way. I think the 50+% divorce rate speaks for itself on how well people have picked in the past. Is it too late to reduce the divorce rate and have couples happy again? I don't think so. But for that to happen, both men and women need to be educated to the reality of discerning a partner's value before jumping into something they regret later on. The sooner a man or a woman picks the right partner, the better it is for both of them.

But, we need to be educated.

Is this so wrong?

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Comments (40)

OP my advise to you is to take some time to heal. It is evident wrong or right, you had failed relationships. Stop that negative wheel from turning spreading hate and misconceptions on ALL women.

Fix that emotionally broken part of your life and maybe, just maybe you'll appreciate the good in life. doh
How to spot an azzhole?
Vetting process, all fine.
What we should not do is assume 97% of them is bad apples.

How about this scenario: you vet and play hard to get and act all cool and
"I don't need nobody but I might make an exception one day."..
and after all that, one qualify and you hook up with her.
Only to find yourself bored cos it was not based on charm but precaution.

So assume the best while you expect the worst if that is possible.
That might lead to better results. Remember the wibes you send off too might make or break a
good one.

It's easy to be wise to everyone and then a complete fool for that someone. And I think that's what's scary about it. Not necessarily a bad apple but the chance that person is literally bonkers. Toxic but they didn't mean it, exactly the type of person I'd go wrong with but it doesn't have to be that way. It's when you're in love that you may need to find a way to step back from the brink of insanity.
It is when you choose to learn from someone who is teaching others how to be toxic, you can't see it for yourself and you won't accept being told by people who are genuinely looking out for you.
Hello Friend,

Yes, I was hurt. I have had plenty of time to heal and I have had plenty of time to educate myself...however, there always seems to be something that I find that I did not realize.

I think I am ready for a relationship today, and have been for some time now. However, I think if I am finding things educational and things that will help me with my future relationship(s)...I think others may find it equally interesting. I highly doubt I am the only person in this world that thinks this way and has felt they needed to take some times to figure things out.

Good stuff Grand. thumbs up

If any gender thinks 97% of the opposite gender is terrible, they are in big trouble and will most likely stay single the rest of their lives.


I can see where what you say makes complete sense. Love is a powerful thing...and people in a desperate position are probably the most vulnerable.

Here you have an important point.
I can quite easily get into that trap, have been a few times.
hug I will never be scared of you..or for you.

Glad to read all your positivity and logic over the years has brought you to this point in life.

Start enjoying it!!yay
5G and CC your experiences are definitely perspectives that challenge my thinking further, perhaps it is the country each of you have dated women in.
Or not, you're both younger too.
But very interesting nonetheless.

@Queen of Britain (Patty, I'll refer to you as Q5 from now on..)

"falling for someone literally bonkers" - CC

was a good ona ha' cheers
Your sad now ha'... grin
"determined to follow a self-destructive path towards 'toxicity'" I'd say no, it's not that bad.
But if you go on... well, he might eventually put on the boots and march with the others, in the end.
So don't make matters worse now Jac.... help
tongue that's my point right there.

I play with a full deck:4 Q/4K

There's no my way or the highway.

Put your jack boot down 5G.

rolling on the floor laughing "based on charm"

You know who will pop up and tell us he was right all along.

uh oh
The most right blogger in history. laugh

Wooow, yea life ain't only a dance on roses now is it...
Charm and hot lips rolling on the floor laughing
We were only referring to high value men previously and now we are open to discussing toxic traits of relationships.

We are mature persons and this is why we are needed as such.

The fence sitting and the PC spitting has repercussions not only on us but to all relations
to protect the vulnerable.

It's OK to NOT take action when confused, take a break.
rolling on the floor laughing no...5G.
Mature persons can and should handle scary and confusing, whether those younger than us can't.
And they do need us as examples of coping and strength when life is harsh.
Hello Patti,

I certainly appreciate your positive and happy go lucky nature too. Not to mention, the great videos you have shared too. Thank you for that...and thank you for your comments in general as well.

Thanks Jac,

The information you pointed out during his opening and with the psychological aspect of things...greatly appreciated.

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CS mods watch your ads please!That's blatant.

Looks like Google is tracking and throwing ads for you to see on your device.
After the Balagancia fiasco,
and their protestors it's probably best to change
some ad filters here too.

thumbs up
Embedded image from another site

Thank you CS mods...
smitten that was nice of you Shawn
What the heck have you been googling to get those ads? rolling on the floor laughing
rolling on the floor laughing the kickoff time for the football game, the weather

Sorry Johnny if it triggered on your blog.

We fixed it- right Shawn.angel
No comment! wink
Hmmm IW, so many things come to mind with your invite. grin

"Mature persons can and should handle scary and confusing"

I think this comes from a lack of information. So, I do agree with you...a mature person can and should be able to handle these situations.

A lot of this coping ability should have been instilled in from their parents. However, unfortunately, some parents don't have all the answers....or...both parents were not around during the child's (non-maturity) phase was existing. When that happens, the lack of maturity person needs to seek the knowledge and experience on their own. There will be times when they stumble and fall...that is to be expected...but actively seeking improvement will minimize and limit the stumbles in the future. Thus, more confidence (leading to feeling less scared) and with knowledge comes less confusion.

Thanks Patti....and Shawn...for fixing what it was that you fixed.

tip hat
The Slackers won Patti. laugh
mThank you for doing that! You save guys much time and potential hearbreak that way.
Men hate being fooled even if she "didn't want to hurt him by telling the truth". The stupidest thing ever. I'd fine them $780 for that each time, in severe cases $1130 giggle
Happy xams dear Mermaid! Love the cat!

Hello Mer...

I think it is good to know what you want....and if you can find somebody who fits exactly what you are looking for, then I suppose it would make sense that you would eliminate some of the risk of being in a relationship with them.

However....too much of a list...can be too constricting...I would suspect.

Hi Ozzie. Thank you. Merry Christmas!

Yeah he’s my baby kitty. I love kitties. His name is Rocky.

I didn’t know kitties followed you around everywhere until I got my own cat. It’s so funny!

Anyway, yeah…I try not to blame men for everything or at least own up to my part in it. It helps to know that you guys largely view things from a LOGICAL perspective.

Maybe you better start practicing what you preach, Mr. Johnny Sparton! idea batting grin

Season's Greetings to you and your family, and very best wishes for the New Year 2023.buddies party
The times when a relationship could get a bit demanding. But hey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

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That is pretty scary Robert. laugh

I feel sorry for any man in that situation...I bet that exists.

uh oh


Happy New Year Robert...when it comes. :)

Oh yes, such situations exist. But, the guy's gotta do his marital or relationship duty to please the lady he got involved with - through sickening or health. wow

Hoppy New Year... bunny When it comes.. wine
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