The Female Anatomy
I’m not very clued up on the female anatomy and I need some help to clarify two female terms.
Some time ago there was a shoot-out between the police and would-be bank robbers in town. A female police office was wounded. The newspaper reported on her condition, and I quote: “She is in intensive care but the bullet has not been removed from her yet.” The next day the paper did a follow up on her condition. I quote again: “She is in a stable condition and the bullet has been removed from her now.”
This confused me. The two statements seem to contradict each other. Why did they remove the bullet from her NOW if she was shot in her YET?
I called the reporter on the day that the first report was published and asked her where a woman’s YET is located. She probably suffered from PMS because she hanged the phone up on me. Women!
I did not see my way open to call her again the next day when she did the second report.
But being bright as I am, I solved half the mystery by logic deduction. I reasoned that if she was shot in her YET, the bullet had to go through it to embed itself in her NOW. From this I derived that these two organs or body parts must be in close proximity to each other and, as I don’t have such organs, I can only assume that it must be female organs or at least something hidden under her dress.
But I still don’t know where is a woman’s YET or her NOW. If somebody can enlighten me, I’d be very grateful.
Have a wonderful weekend.
Comments (54)
Btw, it's Friday already
But then, it doesn't make any difference to me anyway...
Friday is the beginning of the weekend to me.
Not that it matters. Every day is weekend to me.
I Am Yet! To Hear This Now___
If I can lay my hands on a yet now, I be very grateful.
How are we today?
I am yet to meet a Thai woman but now that I know I'll make a plan.
Do you think I have forgotten about that curry you promised me.
Your smokescreens with the cupcakes did not work.
This may continue with an inexperienced man for quite a while. You will hear a change from hopeful "not there yet", to a bored 'not yet, to an exasperated,'No, not yet!
The sensible woman will read a novel or knit a jumper whilst uttering these sentences.
Finally, the man might find his bearings, and the woman will exclaim with some surprise, You're there now! (Under her breath saying Don't lose it again!)
If the man has any expertise, he will work masterfully on that area until he gets his answer in triplicate...
NOW, NOW, NOW!
Destination reached successfully.
In summation, Yet is in close proximity to Now.
But can be worlds apart if the intervening distance isn't properly explored, charted and overcome.
It is the difference between a satisfied woman, and an ultimately happy man, or ...the opposite
Is the South-African humour also like the black British humour? I get dizzy by the thought of anyone getting shot - where into ever organ it may be - male or female..
Hmm, I starting to see some light. Is the author of the jumper, or the color of the novel important?
And if perhaps you can email the map to me. Just mark the spot clearly please. It sounds so exiting. Almost like the treasure hunts that my grandfather arrange for us when he's bored with us.
He's not here today. I hope he does not mind me using his PC.
Shame, hey?
shootings is part of our normal days. Just the other night I heard several gunshots nearby. South Africa is not as quiet as it used to be.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.
My grandfather is not here today. He may be over the hill but I'm trying very hard to get there. You can tell me. I won't tell him what I learned from you.
And yes, it is like a treasure hunt, and it is worth finding (quickly) as there is treasure enough to share..nobody goes wanting
See, I learn every day. I always thought black humor was movies with Eddy Murphy playing.
Oh me, oh my, oh me!
What am I going to do? Looks as if I'll have to pay for this info.
brain
Yes, she was of help initially, but I'm still phishing for the exact locations. I guess I'm still at the 'not yet' stage.
From what I understood so far, you're the one to tell me.
You see! I still don't have a clue. I would have expected you to say an over-used 'yet' and an underused 'now'. When did brains come into the equation. Do one need brains to do it?
I'm going to fetch my tools. Now you're talking my language.
Your tool should be on standby for instant use at all times
Compare:
I can't use my tool Yet
To
I can use my tool Now
I don't think I'd like to try my newly learned skill on one of these.
Maybe once I have more experience.
it's making more and more sense. Are all Irish women so good at explaining?
I'm new to this. You have to guide me all the way.
I would kill you.
'Not now' means 'try again in 15 seconds'. Females have a language of their own. 'Nothing' means 'something' and 'whatever' means 'I dont have time now, I will deal with you later'.