Random Humor Poems (1,865)

on this day many moons ago
a lovely lady was born
with warm and loving fingers
i wrote to you
this little poem
the daffodils in bloom
open up to sing
this song
on this very special birthday
i wish you all the happiness
until this time next year
i wish you so much cheer
three cheers for you
happy birthday

I know you saved up all year long
You wanted your kids to sing a song
about the vacation to Disney World
There must be 50 ways to pick your pocket
There must be 50 ways to pick your pocket
Just ride on the tram Sam
Buy a mug Doug
Buy your kid a doll Paul
Just listen to me
Eat a Mickey Mouse icecream Jean
You don't need to discuss cost
Just get a fast pass for that ride Clyde
And set yourself free
I know you feel abused by Mickey
If you want real abuse ask the workers
Who run Disney World
Or the Haitians who make all the Disney merchandise
There must be 50 ways to pick your pocket
There must be 50 ways to pick your pocket
Just pick up the bill Bill
Buy some Mickey clubs Bub
Stay in the hotel Del
Just listen to me
Buy a toy Roy
Eat a snack Mack
Ride a new thrill Jill
and set yourself free

Worn habits to break
Elevate through sweats and ache
Spring arrived to awake


A drop of sunshine
Is brewing in bubbling brine
Dandelion wine


A school of sardines
Swam in sync into a tin
Sardines of my dreams

It has been brought to my attention
There is a poet on here
Who for good reasons shall remain unnamed
Because it's one who is so dear

Their pen flashes this way and that
The words that come are like magic
They make us laugh, they make us cry
Some words are happy and others tragic

You know the one that I speak about
With every write they steal the show
The one that goes by the handle of
........ so there now you know

Ok fellow poets. Jazzy just suggested that we see who can write the worst poem.So dig deep and come up with some real Lizzard spit..

Come gather round people
Listen to my tale
Pay attention to what I have to say

I'm going to say this once
Might even say it twice
But there ain't going to be a third time

The sun shines too bright
You're gonna get burned
And you'll end up looking like a lobster

Now lobsters taste nice
Dressed on your plate
But there ain't no way you wanna be one

Now you know what to do
You know where to go
Out of the sun you wanna be staying

Now I've reached the end
Gone told my tale
If you want you can read it over 'n over

The sky is one up
The earth is one down
And some set out to keep the score
Is this what makes the world go round

Now your heart is one up
Mine is one down
Cause I saw you with him
On the up side of town

Today the circus is one up
Ticket in my hand is one down
It was just my luck
I was mistaken for one of their clowns

Your cotton candy smile is one up
My hot tomales are one down
He kisses you and whispers buttercup
I wave for a taxi to exit the up side of town

The clouds are one up
The rain is one down
Now I'm on the wrong street
Back on the up side of town

I chatted with my muse today
She's quite upset, with much to say.

"You always ask for songs of love,
The earth below, the skies above.
You ask for songs of sailing ships
And villains vile, and lovers lips
You ask for tales of Yukon gold
And people freezing in the cold
And stories set in tropic isles
With gentle natives beaming smiles

You ask for paintings of beauty rare
With ruby lips and auburn hair
Or quiet glades with autumn trees
And butterflies and bumblebees
And I have given every one
But rare the thanks when I am done
Your name goes on, but never mine
And you all think that this is fine.

But this is not my preference
I don't always make such sense
I'd rather that my damsels fair
Were caught at henna-ing their hair
I much prefer to tell a joke
That makes the proper people choke
A ribald song, perhaps quite smutty
Or silly verse, completely nutty

An Escher house, with floors on high
And fishies swimming in the sky
And make up tunes that make you laugh
While other people think you daft
That is what I'd rather do
Than to tell you how much she loves you
I'm much more fond of the trivial
My name, you see, is Doggerel.

New love
at first sight?
Think it comes
Sometimes...
Once maybe-
In a lifetime.
Meet up-
Check out--
See face...
Then doubt.
What happened?
Talked on the phone?
Saw him...
But still alone...
Too picky?
I don't know,
Still trying--
To find a beau.

WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.
HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in the dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.
WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far
HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?
WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but outside, laughing at you