breadcrumb Elegsabiff Blog

and this little piggie went ouch ouch ouch ouch all the way home

damn damn DAMN have broken my baby toe, how can something so small and utterly useless be so crippling?

I've straightened it **EINA** and tried taping it to the next toe but that was worse than leaving it to heal on its own but if anyone has any brilliant cures or comfort suggestions please fire away. help

Oh and if you could pop round so I can languish on the sofa while you supply me with coffee that would also be very cool. Ta.

sigh

I feel very sorry for myself. Just sayin'.
Post Comment

Abnormal.

Normal is
getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, and sitting for ages in gridlocked rush hour traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to the job you have to have to pay for the clothes and the car, and for the house which you leave empty all day so that you can afford to live in it.

Normal is
1 conforming to a type, standard, or regular pattern
2 according with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule, or principle
3 occurring naturally normal immunity
3 relating to, or characterized by average intelligence or development IQs within the normal range
4 free from mental illness : mentally sound symptoms of paranoia in otherwise normal persons

Normal is
1. An idealistic state of being that remains as such. Because the idea of such a state varies from being to being and any set standard is nonetheless someone elses idea of what it is this condition warrants satisfactory confirmation of being amongst the confirmed members of such class, by the individuals code.
2. Normal is about as concrete as the idea of "love". The meaning is constantly evolved to suit the momentary desires and/or needs of a single person, or group of people.
3. A tool of conformity.

Normal people never think for themselves, they play follow the leader their entire lives and freak out when confronted with any situation they were not trained to deal with.



Yeah, I'm looking up normal to see if I am. It's not looking good. moping

Oh hang on -

Normal is
There is no such thing as normal so there can't really be a definition


Phew.
Post Comment

Spring has been significant for the last few years

Anyone still on Facebook knows how they love to throw up 'memories' from previous years, and sometimes they are interesting. Facebook reminded me today that it is 2 years since I was in Portugal on a romantic holiday. Last year I had just been made redundant (27 April) and was starting the long process of turning my life upside down. This year I have just finished the initial renovations of an elderly and slightly decrepit townhouse in Spain. (5 May)

I started thinking about it. 3 years ago I was in an LDR which tried, around now, to become a conventional relationship and instead exploded fairly dramatically.

4 years ago I had just joined CS and was giddily enjoying a short-lived virtual relationship.

5 years ago, according to Facebook, life was fairly dull, although I had just published my second book so it probably didn't feel dull to me at the time.

6 years ago I was asking Facebook to remind me I had stored my winter tyres in the garden chest. roll eyes

Does make me wonder what I will be doing next spring. Pushing up daisies (so back to the gardening theme) or having whole new and totally unanticipated adventures?

popcorn

I'd never really noticed the spring link before, wonder if anyone else has a similar pattern in their lives.
Post Comment

Eggs for dummies

At one and the same time the most boring, yet potentially most useful, blog I have ever posted.

Those who know their onions eggs can please add their own vital tips for the culinarily-challenged (which includes me)

Fresh eggs drop to the bottom of a glass or bowl of water and lie on their side

Not so fresh, still edible, eggs will drop to the bottom and stand on end

Stale eggs float. Save for throwing at politicians. Do not tell anyone I said you should.

A hardboiled egg in its shell can be kept for up to a week in the fridge

If you can’t remember which eggs are raw and which are hardboiled, a hardboiled egg, if you spin it like a top, spins far faster than an uncooked egg.

Freeze eggs by breaking them into a muffin tin, large ice-cube tray, or their own plastic container if they came in plastic. Once frozen solid you can pop them out and bag them for up to a year in the freezer.

The only thing a defrosted egg doesn’t do as well as a fresh egg is separate, so you could also freeze the yolks and the whites separately.

Egg yolk is good for shampooing hair and egg whites are a good face mask.

Want to know the difference between involved and committed? Look at a plate of bacon and eggs. The hen is involved. The pig is committed.
grin

Okay the last was a joke, the rest is solid gold, even if you knew it all already. And in case you're wondering why my sudden mad fascination with eggs, I bought a half-dozen yesterday, got them home and realized I already had a dozen in the fridge. Not taking a shopping list on my weekly shop is costing me a fortune. doh
Post Comment

In a world where you can be anything - be kind

The heading, and the following, are Facebook philosophies picked up today - it may be just my timeline, but there's a faint trend towards optimism after long months of depression, fatalism, or anger. Instead of scraping flaking horrible (really horrible) green paint off a ceiling before painting it, I'm sharing a few that I liked

People who show you new music are important.
**
My mum as a mum - you get what you get, deal with it
My mum as a grandmother - do you want your sandwich cut into hearts or stars, sweetheart?
**
When life is stressful, go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles. Maybe change your name.
**
A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.
**
You'll never get anywhere if you keep stopping to throw stones at the dogs that bark at you
**
I just saved 100% on stress by switching to not giving a fcuk
**
Also this made me grin - the 3 voices in writing -
Active voice - you ate 6 donuts
Passive voice - 6 donuts were eaten by you
Passive-aggressive voice - you ate 6 donuts and I didn't get any. Don't worry, it's cool. I can see donuts are very important to you.


wave

Rumour has it today is Friday. Have a good one heart wings
Post Comment

Captain Kirk isn't dead

Bill Shatner is a little annoyed to have had his death announced on a Facebook link. This social media thing is getting out of hand.

However his spirited response does mention he is 87 today, 22nd March. Spock already died.

Even Captain Picard is 77. Ok, enough Star Trek.

Hands up anyone older now than people who had seemed old to you when they died - Elvis was 42, Freddie Mercury was 45, Michael Jackson 51. uh oh

Hey, look on the bright side, if you're over 50, even over 40, you're a survivor!

grin

now having survived today's tutoring I am putting on arctic clothing and venturing upstairs to paint out rooms, if exposure doesn't drive me back downstairs or freeze me to death. Will catch up with any comments from those over 40 while I defrost with coffee. Spring sprang yesterday, so where IS it?

coffee
Post Comment

The impulse buy

So I saw this bulky black leather sofa cheapcheapCHEAP at a charity shop a few months back and bought it because I need furniture and it was just the job and at worst, at absolute worst, the zman said he'd buy it off me if I couldn't find a spot for it. It IS nice, and it WAS a bargain, so I stuck it in the van and took it home.

Then the alterations kept getting delayed and delayed and it has been sitting under cover on the terrace for months

Then I had to sell the van because the MOT was about to expire

And NOW finally I have rooms ready for the sofa. Which is TOO BIG TO GO THROUGH THE DOORS. And without the van it can't go up the mountain to the mountain man because paying for delivery will double the price and stop it being cheapcheapcheap

So that's 80 euros I don't have to throw around, thrown around and down the drain.

very mad

Your worst impulse buy? (I've noticed when I do one of these 'I was a dummy make me feel better by telling me you were too' blogs no-one else ever made a mistake ever.) Hmm.
Post Comment

Murder or self defence -

There's a lot of play right now in the UK media because a couple of thugs were threatening a man of 78 in his kitchen and he got the screwdriver off one of them and stabbed him with it. Both guys fled, and the stabbed one collapsed and died in the street.

The 78 year old was arrested, and kept in jail overnight. He was threatened with being charged with murder, but the community rose in an uproar, even the touchy-feely media took his side, a fund was instantly started to help him with his legal fees, and he is home again.

The thug's family are saying loudly that he didn't deserve to die (he has a history of breaking and entering, intimidation, robbery, etc, and has done jail time) and floral tributes are now being left for him outside the OAP's home.

So far as I am concerned, if you can't take the heat, don't go into the kitchen. Live by violence, die by violence. If you ask for trouble, expect trouble, even from a nice soft target like an OAP who doesn't know the rules and didn't back down. Yes, yes, terribly unfair that he fought back, how DARE he. But you started it!!

It seems so far as the authorities are concerned, if you are being threatened by thugs 40 years younger than yourself waving a rudimentary weapon in your face, you should meekly play along, hope not to become a statistic, and let them have whatever they want. The authorities will sort justice out later ...


very mad

I may vanish without warning, I'm supposed to be teaching but my 1.30 class cancelled. I have to be on standby in case new pupils are suddenly slotted in but until then coffee smoking
Post Comment

When you don't have the words ...

I'm not sure what I would have said even if there hadn't been a language barrier, tbh. Picture it -

This morning my dog was doing her squat in the street (me standing by holding bag and waiting to swoop) and a kid of about 3 toddled up and tried to kick her in the face. Whaaaaaaaaat? The dog is better-behaved than she was but the kid would have lost his foot if he’d connected. She doesn’t like kids at the best of times. I gently straight-armed him since the dog couldn’t move at that precise moment, and glared. The kid beamed up at me.

Elderly escorting grandfather said something gruff (I don’t think in Spanish) and then shouted words at me when my swoop left a smear on the road. Since I was holding both the dog’s lead and a small and revoltingly warm packet I mimicked the kid’s kick in adult and very mature response and stalked off feeling ruffled.

Hell, most people don’t even bother to pick up their dog turds, they leave them to become part of the road or swept up by the frequent street cleaners. Maybe he’s a retired street cleaner.

If it had been Scotland, and a wee Scottish bairn, and a Scottish-speaking grandpa, I would have said that kicking any dog in the face is probably asking for trouble. But then anyone stupid enough to need that said probably deserves to learn the hard way.

But learn what? Should I have mashed the pickup into the kid’s face? Has he gotta learn that even when dogs don’t bite, owners do? Or do I just hope the next dog he tries that on is one of the few pit bull terriers that is NOT good with kids?

Morning all. You can bring it on, I feel scrappy. boxing

popcorn
Post Comment

Said yes, and I’m taking the plunge, squeeeee

I’ll be honest with you, I never expected to marry again but he kept asking and the more I thought about it, the more I realized this is actually the ideal solution for me, so I said YES!!

Be happy for me, please - the friends who knew about us, or have started suspecting, think I am making a mistake but I am truly happy. Lipra is - well, he’s a lovely guy. Fantastic sense of humour. When he told me he had 3 wives already I was shocked. Bigamy!! He said no, Biff, 3 wives, that’s very big a' me! I had to laugh, and that’s it, really, any man who makes me laugh . . .

We all get along well, we all like time to ourselves, it will be perfect. Between us we own places in Spain, Ireland, France and Greece, and can switch around now and then for holidays. As the fourth and youngest wife (Lipra is only 48, but adores older women) I get first pick of dates and have decided we will be honeymooning for just over a week every month. I am the happiest woman in the world.

smitten

So that’s the official announcement. Very soon I will be becoming Mrs Lipra Loof IV and anyone who is truly happy for me is welcome to attend our wedding xxx

cartwheel

For those who disapprove - back off for now, okay?

heart wings heart wings heart wings heart wings heart wings heart wings heart wings heart wings

**Edited comment. Lipra Loof is an anagram of April Fool and although the date is showing as March 31st, the blog was posted at 1 minute past midnight local time - on April 1st, April Fools Day. ** kiss
Post Comment

Sold my van . . . farewell adventure. :(

Blog buddies may remember last August I packed up my whole life, bought a 2003 converted Citroen Relay, and drove from Scotland to Spain with a dog, a cat, and a lot of boxes and suitcases. Like it says in my profile, I’m a loon. And a dreamer. And now live in Spain. dunno

Never been interested in camping, never driven a van before, it was a means to an end and I never expected to enjoy the adventure, but I did, oh so much.

When it came to the time when I either had to convert the van to Spanish plates (not cheap) or sell it, I was in real denial about the whole thing, I kept wishing by some miracle I could get just a few months more with it even if I couldn’t keep it for ever and ever and ever, permanent adventure just the turn of a key away.

crying

I even convinced myself Paddy the potential buyer would decide against making a 5 hour drive across Spain to see an old campervan, but he got here and turned out to be a loon too, a kindred spirit (albeit young and dreadlocked) and, like me, a former Saffer. In fact his real name is Bafana - and he arrived with two other guys to check the van, a team, that almost makes them Bafana Bafana. rolling on the floor laughing

I think the van is happy about it too. I was fiercely resisting selling, so two days ago it started making little noises to scare me. I don’t like noises under the bonnet. The all-knowing Zman said they weren’t expensive noises but that a 2003 van will start becoming expensive. When Bafana Bafana test-drove it, no little noises. The van chose them, and new adventures, and I must respect that.

But . . . crying

Will add a pic of it via the ridiculously complicated process in a moment. Then get a moody cup of coffee and feel miserable for a while, then get on with adventure-free life. sigh

Embedded image from another site
Post Comment

When your kids disapprove ...

Mothering Sunday in the UK, hope all the UK mums are being spoiled with, at the very least, a lie-in and a tidy house when they get up bouquet

Not a word from my daughter. Oh well. She's furious about me moving to Spain but she's been furious with me for a few years now. Becoming a full-time writer was bad. Joining a dating website was bad. Having an LDR with lots of holidays together was really bad, she was hugely relieved when that was over and she thought I would settle down and become normal again. (As if)

We came over for a week's holiday last year so she could see the Casa Eccentrica before I bought (she's my only heir, she'll be inheriting it) and she said she hated Spain and absolutely hated the house and that's sort of been it.

It's a very odd feeling, having your kids disapprove of you. Anyone else experienced it? Almost a role reversal, where she's the tut-tutting adult and I'm the unruly teenager. doh

Parenting of older kids is a background support role, parents should be waiting patiently in the wings until and if needed, and I am, I really am. It's just that while I'm waiting patiently to be needed I'm getting on with my life my own way.

sigh
Post Comment

This is a list of Elegsabiff's Blogs. Click here for Elegsabiff's Blog List

We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here