Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Math Quiz.....determine your favorite Movie
Hope this quiz gives you smile in these times, This quick quiz should do the trick. Grab a paper and pencil and do what it says. You will be amazed how accurate this is. For as long as I can remember, I have loved math tricks. This one really works! It will take you only about ten seconds and, amazingly, it will reveal your all-time favorite movie. I'm pretty good at math, so I did it in my head, then on paper, and finally on a calculator just to confirm my mathematical calculations. Each time I got the same answer, and sure enough, it IS my very favorite movie...EVER!
DO NOT cheat. DO YOUR math, THEN compare the results on the list of
movies at the bottom.
You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is:
1. Pick a number from 1-9.
2. Multiply that number by 3.
3. Add 3.
4. Multiply by 3 again.
5. Your total will be a two digit number. Add the first and second
digits together to find your favorite movie (of all time) in the list
of 17 movies below:
Movie List:
1. Gone With the Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Nancy Pelosi Resignation Speech
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
DO NOT cheat. DO YOUR math, THEN compare the results on the list of
movies at the bottom.
You will be AMAZED at how scary true and accurate this test is:
1. Pick a number from 1-9.
2. Multiply that number by 3.
3. Add 3.
4. Multiply by 3 again.
5. Your total will be a two digit number. Add the first and second
digits together to find your favorite movie (of all time) in the list
of 17 movies below:
Movie List:
1. Gone With the Wind
2. E.T.
3. Blazing Saddles
4. Star Wars
5. Forrest Gump
6. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. The Nancy Pelosi Resignation Speech
10. Casablanca
11. Jurassic Park
12. Shrek
13. Pirates of the Caribbean
14. Titanic
15. Raiders of the Lost Ark
16. Home Alone
17. Mrs. Doubtfire
online now!
Flip-Flops...
Simple rule... I don't walk around barefooted. My preference is/are shoes and socks but In the house, I wear men's sandals aka flip-flops.
Once a week, they go into the shower, get sprayed with bleach cleaner and rinsed.
Last week, my favorite Ocean Pacific (brand) broke a strap so they got tossed and an older pair (I used at my other house) came out of the bag and I'm wearing them until I get new ones.
On the last trip to Walmart, I went by the shoe department to see if they had something for me. The store was poorly stocked and I couldn't find my size with the exception of...
I'll wait a while on this one.
Once a week, they go into the shower, get sprayed with bleach cleaner and rinsed.
Last week, my favorite Ocean Pacific (brand) broke a strap so they got tossed and an older pair (I used at my other house) came out of the bag and I'm wearing them until I get new ones.
On the last trip to Walmart, I went by the shoe department to see if they had something for me. The store was poorly stocked and I couldn't find my size with the exception of...
I'll wait a while on this one.
Yay!
A submicroscopic infectious agent that replicates only inside the living cells of an organism has knocked Topic Trump off the blogs to the oblivion.
I don't know how Trump is feeling about his popularity been beaten by a virus in an election year.
But my vote goes for Trump blogs over the Virus.
Now please wash your hands and and type Trump if you don't agree with me.
I don't know how Trump is feeling about his popularity been beaten by a virus in an election year.
But my vote goes for Trump blogs over the Virus.
Now please wash your hands and and type Trump if you don't agree with me.
online now!
Bob called...
Yesterday, Bob a personal friend and former associate called.
Bob: Hi Tony, Bob here. How are you doing?
Me: Good Bob, just making the best of retirement with 3 naps a day. How are you?
Bob: Except for the dry cough and fever I'm fine...
(s i l e n c e)
Bob: You know I'm kidding, don't you?
Bob: Hi Tony, Bob here. How are you doing?
Me: Good Bob, just making the best of retirement with 3 naps a day. How are you?
Bob: Except for the dry cough and fever I'm fine...
(s i l e n c e)
Bob: You know I'm kidding, don't you?
Hot off the press; No one (who can't read) could have seen the pandemic coming
Yesterday in The New Yorker;
While it has never been a bar to high for any other US president, we really should limit the presidency
to literate people, who are honest, decent, and don't have mob connections. Apparently, the voters need that......spelled out.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Study: No One Could Have Seen Pandemic Coming Except People Capable of Reading
By Andy Borowitz
April 13, 2020
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—No one could have seen the coronavirus pandemic coming except for people who are capable of reading, a new study indicates.
The study, published by the University of Minnesota, is highly critical of the current early-warning system for global pandemics, which requires that a person have the literacy necessary to read, comprehend, and digest a memo.
“In order to see a pandemic coming, one would have to read and also understand the words, sentences, and paragraphs that compose a typical memo,” Professor Davis Logsdon, the author of the study, said. “And some of these memos can run two, three, even four pages in length.”
For someone who does not typically read, and instead spends ten or twelve hours a day watching television, “A memo like that is doomed to fall through the cracks.”
Logsdon believes that the abject failure of the current “reading-centric” early-warning system can teach us valuable lessons about how to combat future pandemics.
“Right now, the lives of millions depend upon one person not being illiterate,” he said. “That’s setting the bar awfully high.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Study: No One Could Have Seen Pandemic Coming Except People Capable of Reading
By Andy Borowitz
April 13, 2020
MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—No one could have seen the coronavirus pandemic coming except for people who are capable of reading, a new study indicates.
The study, published by the University of Minnesota, is highly critical of the current early-warning system for global pandemics, which requires that a person have the literacy necessary to read, comprehend, and digest a memo.
“In order to see a pandemic coming, one would have to read and also understand the words, sentences, and paragraphs that compose a typical memo,” Professor Davis Logsdon, the author of the study, said. “And some of these memos can run two, three, even four pages in length.”
For someone who does not typically read, and instead spends ten or twelve hours a day watching television, “A memo like that is doomed to fall through the cracks.”
Logsdon believes that the abject failure of the current “reading-centric” early-warning system can teach us valuable lessons about how to combat future pandemics.
“Right now, the lives of millions depend upon one person not being illiterate,” he said. “That’s setting the bar awfully high.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
While it has never been a bar to high for any other US president, we really should limit the presidency
to literate people, who are honest, decent, and don't have mob connections. Apparently, the voters need that......spelled out.
online now!
BREAKING NEWS !!!
Read all about it, read all about it... Trump blogs are eclipsed by creepy sleepy Joe Biden blogs.
Get your blog in while the goin' is good!!
Get your blog in while the goin' is good!!
Coronavirus pow wow
The American Medical Association has weighed in on Congress's care package:
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the asses in Washington.
The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.
Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.
Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.
Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.
The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea.
Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and those lofty Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the asses in Washington.
Dr. Fauci urges pharmaceutical companies to help milions of people with development of one pill
Today in The New Yorker;
Never before would 1 pill provide relief for so many.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Fauci Begs Pharma Companies to Speed Development of Anti-Narcissism Drug
By Andy Borowitz
April 9, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that “time is of the essence,” Dr. Anthony Fauci is imploring the nation’s pharmaceutical companies to fast-track the development of a drug to treat narcissism.
Acknowledging that narcissistic-personality disorder has historically been resistant to medication, the esteemed virologist said that a breakthrough drug was “urgently needed.”
“I have seen the toll that narcissism takes, day in, day out,” Fauci said. “The human cost is incalculable.”
Without offering scientific evidence or data, Fauci argued, “Successfully treating one narcissist could substantially reduce the misery and suffering of millions.”
The epidemiologist said that, as soon as a promising anti-narcissism drug is developed, he would “personally mastermind” its clinical trials.
For the purpose of those trials, Fauci said, it would be optimal to manufacture the drug as a pill or anything else “that could be easily crushed and dissolved in a Diet Coke.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Fauci Begs Pharma Companies to Speed Development of Anti-Narcissism Drug
By Andy Borowitz
April 9, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Stating that “time is of the essence,” Dr. Anthony Fauci is imploring the nation’s pharmaceutical companies to fast-track the development of a drug to treat narcissism.
Acknowledging that narcissistic-personality disorder has historically been resistant to medication, the esteemed virologist said that a breakthrough drug was “urgently needed.”
“I have seen the toll that narcissism takes, day in, day out,” Fauci said. “The human cost is incalculable.”
Without offering scientific evidence or data, Fauci argued, “Successfully treating one narcissist could substantially reduce the misery and suffering of millions.”
The epidemiologist said that, as soon as a promising anti-narcissism drug is developed, he would “personally mastermind” its clinical trials.
For the purpose of those trials, Fauci said, it would be optimal to manufacture the drug as a pill or anything else “that could be easily crushed and dissolved in a Diet Coke.”
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Never before would 1 pill provide relief for so many.
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
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