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KENOSHA, WI—Black Lives Matter activists across the country are looking forward to some early Black Friday looting once Kyle Rittenhouse is acquitted.

Rittenhouse is on trial for shooting and killing a p*dophile and a kidnapper after they tried to kill Rittenhouse.

BLM has taken up the cause of being mad at Rittenhouse because he killed two horrible people during their riot last summer.

“You can’t just defend yourself like that at a Black Lives Matter riot,” local BLM Chairperson Jerome McStinky said. “Therefore, if that kid is acquitted, we is going to loot the s**t out of the m*******r.”

D’Skank Jones has been eyeing a new pair of Nikes ever since the trial started.

“Mmmm, I’ma get me some of those new Blazers girl! That boy better not get acquitted,” Jones said.

President Joe Biden has weighed in, saying that BLM should be able to loot on days besides Black Friday as a matter of principle.

US representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) has demanded that they change the name of “Black Friday” to “Friday of Color”.

According to certain members here, they have proof that Hollywood storylines have become reality, so we have luminescent proteins coursing through our veins that can be tracked, sadly they missed the film about how a minuscule luminous light source can be tracked other than in a hospital situation.

But wait, there's more.

We also have microchips flowing around inside disguised as nano-particles invented on some movie set and now available at your nearest Walmart.

Then there is 5G which apparently, although in limited use, has created and influenced the covid virus, never mind the fact that radio waves have been passing through living bodies since cave man-days, but have now, in the 21st century, decided the time is right to affect humans, just humans mind you, as dogs, cats etc have superior brains obviously.
Never mind the fact that people living in areas where there is no 1G 2G 3G 4G 5G, still get the same ailments as those in large cities where phone signals are rampant.

Don't believe me? Then go and read Infowars, the gateway pundit and Anon, after all, they would never lie.

Or would they?

CALLER:
Is this Gordon's Pizza?
GOOGLE:
No sir, it's Google Pizza.
CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.
GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.
CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.
GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?
CALLER:
My usual? You know me?
GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.
CALLER:
OK! That’s what I want ...
GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?
CALLER:
What? I detest vegetable!
GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.
CALLER:
How the hell do you know!
GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.
CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.
GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.
CALLER:
I bought more from another drugstore.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.
I paid in cash.
GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.
CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.
GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.
CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!
GOOGLE:
I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.
CALLER:
Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.
GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago.

I see a new profile popped up today for a retired 62 year old woman living in Sheffield, England. Her intentions are clear and so are her topless photos!
She's whorn-knee and comes as a married couple... However she can separate if needed.

Wow, what a deal!

Guys, don't wait. I'm sure this deal won't last long.

...
1. What's the difference between stress, tension, panic and tragedy. .
?Stress is when wife is pregnant;?
?Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;? ??Panic is when both are pregnant!??.
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for either pregnancy.

?2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period??
?Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!?
?3. A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential??"

?Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!?"

?4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, ?“Which book has helped you most in your life?”? ?The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”?

?5. A prospective husband in a book store: “Do you have a book called,? ?Husband the Master of the House?? ?”Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!”....

?6. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.? ?Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day....

...

Early morning husband woke up and ask his wife: "Would you like to join me for jogging?"

Wife: "Ohh. So you mean to say I am fat?"

Hubby: "No. Jogging is good for health."

Wife: "Oh.. that means I am sick."

Hubby: "No No. If you don't want to get up, then it's OK."

Wife: "So now you think I am lazy, ha?"

Hubby: "NO. You are misunderstanding me. I didn't mean..."

Wife: "Aha! So I don't understand you because I'm an illiterate, right?"

Hubby: "Now look I didn't say that."

Wife: "So am I lying? "

Hubby: I beg you plz don't stretch it in the morning."

Wife: "Oh, now so I am a quarrelsome nag, am I?

HUBBY: "OK OK.. You go off to sleep. I am going jogging alone.. Happy Now??"

Wife: "You always go alone everywhere and enjoy yourself."

Hubby: "Plz Plz.. I am feeling giddy now.."

Wife: "See? You are so selfish. Always think of yourself alone. You never think of my health."

Husband is sitting and thinking where he went wrong!!!
(Never argue with a woman, you’ll never get it right or win )
. .....I think
he should have....laughed...and said..... whatever you think, I'll go by myself and who knows who I'll meet....
That would have made her jump
Out of bed....

Royal Marines make mockery of US troops just DAYS into training exercise.

Where's Bohemund when you need him

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom’s vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live? ”The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes,” then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal.” The pastor put a $100 bill into the groom’s hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”
(we are always smart)

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch. Immediately, his wife began haranguing him again. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.

All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute,
then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.


So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said: 'Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement.

'And what about the men?' the minister asked.

They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.