Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

"Florida Woman Stops Alligator Attack Using a small .22 caliber Ruger Pistol." Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit.

This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.

Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex-husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water.

It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger 22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took.

The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!"

space of disse

Not sure if a malfunction in the space of disse is the reason so many people here have such "shitty" livers

I had a GREAT blog this past weekend. People from all over the world came to read and comment on my blog. It may have been the greatest blog CS has seen since the days of the Nixon administration. Wait... Quite frankly it WAS the greatest blog and then, while I was out working today, someone took my blog down.
I ask why? Why would you remove a blog so awesome it showed the world the only ex-president in the history of America as the subject of a federal indictment.

Was it you Grand... you posted a blog with my name in the title that got my great blog deleted? That's what I'm thinking... you weaponized them to do it. It's a dark day in blog-land, truly a dark day.

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says “sorry, we don’t serve food here.

A Man uses a lighter, to look inside a gas container.

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.

''You cops should get it together" she said, "One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''

I am starting a detective agency

I am looking for the men who whistled at me when a young girl its illegal now i want them in court.

I am looking for the young men who wanted and tried to kiss me in my teens s*xual abuse.

I am looking for the old gagies who used to have their willies out when we past them after school. Oh my they are all past away now. No court for them then.

My list goes on back 30years i think when life was so different than now Men cannot even look at me now in case i have them in court.

I will let you know when the big court case goes ahead ONLY THOSE WITH MONEY THOUGH I need my legal costs paid for plus a lump sum

Me and the wife, we got such cute pet names for each other. She is my honey bunches and I am her fking a**hole

The newfie says to the bartender "get me a drink before the fight starts." The bartender gives him the drink and the newfie downs it. The newfie says "give me another drink before the fight starts." The bartender hands him the drink and says " here you go, and by the way, who is fighting?"

The newfie replies "me and you when you find out I can't pay for these drinks."

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Two old women were outside one day having a smoke when it started to rain. One old lady pulled a condom out of her purse and put it over her smoke. The other old lady asked "what is that?" The first old lady said "its a condom and they are great for keeping your smokes dry. You can get them at the drug store".

A few days later it rains again and the 2nd old lady goes to the drug store and asks for some condoms. The clerk, taken back a bit that such a old woman would be asking for condoms decides to humor her a bit and says "sure, what brand would you like?" The old lady replies "it doesn't matter as long as they can fit a camel".

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Monkeys relax, eat, play, sleep and have sex like crazy ...
I was wondering ... why the hell did we evolve ?!