Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I have a female cousin who is the same age as me. Our birthdays are a week apart.
She's in New Jersey and rarely do we communicate. Different priorities in life.
I recall after a long absence I did speak to her and discussed getting older. My mention of grey hair must have been a sore subject. She colors her hair and I don't.
It must have shocked her to say the first grey hair I recall getting was on my chest. Hopefully she doesn't have any chest hair!

Whore bait
A*shole Pete
It don't take a scissor bell.
dirty pot licker
water the horse


I am not even sure what some of these mean. I think I just figured out whore bait.



He would say, make hay while the sun is shining.
You make your bed, now lay in it.
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Don't buy anything unless you can afford it (meaning no credit).

Today in The New Yorker;



Here we see Trump inching somewhat closer to the "green".......grass.
For some golfers, golfing is more 'rough' than others.














Stay safe everyone.

page down. 10 or 11 times to find it

Heard from a redneck comedian last night;

"Women were meant to do the cooking. Heck, god gave them milk & eggs for starters. Those are ingredients right there."

There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.'

The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'

The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me 6 times.'

The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze 6 lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.'

The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'

The priest said, 'No, but it will certainly wipe that devilish grin off of your face.'

With the easing on the opening of restaurants, and before I make my reservations, I experimented with a number of ways of how to tackle one of my favourite pasta dishes – that of spaghetti olio, aglio e peperoncino – all while wearing a facemask.

The face mask itself must be of the disposable type as it’s bound to end up rather messy.

My recipe calls for using pasta – spaghetti – from a good Italian brand name, oil from pure and untouched virgin olives, expensive locally grown organic garlic and the juiciest hot peperoncini available.

The dish is served with sprigs of freshly cut parsley and a tablespoon or two of grated parmeggiano.

So, the first possibility is to try the mask on, check that it sits well on the face, covering nose, mouth and chin. Then carefully pierce a hole exactly where it covers the mouth. The hole need not be very large, but big enough to take in a fork rolled up with the scrumptious spaghetti. This method also allows to drink a nice red Lambrusco from a fine, stemmed, balloon wineglass.

If one doesn’t wish to make an opening in the facemask, then the other possibility is to slip each pasta strand (a spaghetta) underneath the facemask and pull (as in suck) it in. The sound might annoy your dining companion, but they should be two meters at least away from you, so the sound would have dissipated by the time it reaches delicate ears. This method also allows one to sip the nice red Lambrusco albeit through a straw, also passed underneath the facemask.

The last option of the three possibilities is the most difficult to perform. Order and wait for your dinner to be served, and then while you only ogle at the food on your plate, enjoy watching your company consume theirs, chatting about the Covid19 situation, how easing on the opening of restaurants is positively effecting the nation and other pandemic stories. You have nothing to worry about as long as you continue wearing your facemask and of course not eating.

Don’t forget to pay the bill on your way out.

Stay safe.

Peace

thevirgosign

Humor is very important in our life. A person with a lively sense of humor who can laugh at himself/herself and at just about anything is insightful and healthier in a lot of respect. Humor can free us from our inhibitions…can relieve the anxieties we feel in our day to day existence.


Our sense of humor differ from one another. What I may find funny may not be funny to you and vice versa. I can laugh at myself, always see the fun side of things first but I can also take someone’s humor seriously if it’s something that degrade and put others down. The things that we can laugh at tells what kind of personality we have…it shows our flexibility, sarcasm, cheerfulness, irritability, impulsiveness, carelessness, enthusiasm, sensitivity and outlook in life.

I’m not afraid to let my hair down…humor helps me a lot in solving my problems and turning a day into a positive and productive one and most of all, make a stronger better person in me. My sense of humor can be funny, witty, sexy, a little dirty, a little philosophical…depends with whom I’m having a banter and laughing with. I surely won’t crack a dirty joke if I’m within hearing distance from nuns and preachers so it’s about being sensitive with the people around you that could turn a joke into something very funny and successfully make everyone laugh in a healthy way

Here on blogs, it’s very difficult to make everyone laugh. It takes a long time to recognize each others’ humor. Those who have come to know me a little are the ones who tend to find something in common to laugh with me…thus they join the fun banter on my blogs and we end up sharing some laughs and giggles …while others are raising their eyebrows and consider us “sick” and in need of education. Well, welcome to the Blogland!

Why is it difficult for others to see the fun side of things and laugh? I believe we’re all born with loads of sense of humor but many loses it along the way. How often do you make people around laugh ? Can you laugh at yourself ?

Just For Laughs :

A man falling from a cliff grabs a protruding root. Hanging in midair, he cries to heaven: ''Is anyone out there?''
A voice responds: ''Yes, my son. Let go and I will bear thee up.''
The man hesitates, then cries out: ''Anyone else?''

A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-a** grill for one little weenie?"

...if the best 2 players in the world have a match between one another,
is it still appropriate to call the game..... BADminton ?

What do you think about going back to my place and washing our hands together ?

Do you have Covid-19 ? Why ? Because you look a lot hotter than 98.6 F

Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket, or are you extra happy to be closer than 6 feet from me ?

I'd love to be self-isolated with you for several weeks.

Hey baby, if you have the time, I've got 2-ply at my place.


Add your own, if you like.