Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

I lost my phone just yesterday, I'm traumatised and lost,
I can't speak in conversation, I just don't know what to do,
I don't know whatsapp with my friends, my parents want
to talk to me, again, that's twice this month, I can't tweet,
I can't face talk, (even though they are here beside me)
They are there and I can't even look,,,, I need Facebook,
They even asked me to add two and two, as if I didn't
know, oh,, I need my phone,, where is my goddamm
phone, sorry, it's not like I REALLY need my phone to
be normal, .......... I just want the ten million pictures
I took, I'm sure there is one of me pouting that looks
really good, this is all going to end in disaster if I
DON'T GET MY PHONE!

I doubt this acquisition is true but many are Fed up with the Left and the new alphabet?

I thought I'd take a break from political topics and post something I find hilariously funny. It isn't often someone who is so creative that despite being impeached twice, lost a reelection, takes top level classified documents home and ignores NARA's request to get them, now facing criminal charges for his actions, possibly being implicated as the instigator in the January 6th insurrection... comes up with a TOTALLY original plan:

In the news today, he's asking for a new election immediately or make him the rightful president now.

I'm thinking about writing a book for liberals to understand words spoken by Conservatives.
It will be sort of a political dictionary and the title will be:
"I speak Connese, do you?"

Examples of the first edition will include words like:

farce b i = FBI
libs = liberals (the derogatory name for democrats)
demonrats = democrats
'crats = democrats
obozo = Obama
obismal = Obama
Hussein = Obama's middle name used in an attempt to annoy libs (liberals, see above)
o'biden = Biden

Everyone who browsed or read this blog.
Will be single & lonely for the rest of their lives.
No love life, no money & no YUMMY HOTDOG!
Unless they greet, click a like or post a wish comment.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified.WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified.



Eyewitnesses noted he looked unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior sun hat.

"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary," said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown as the press gasped with delight.

FBI Director Christopher Wray echoed the statement as he strode up to the Hoover Building in a dazzling pair of diamond-encrusted Alexander McQueen stilettos. "The men and women of the FBI are paragons of unassailable integrity and impartiality, and any suggestion otherwise is murderous treason," he said. Several news outlets present also noted the delicious smell of Chanel No.5 in the air.

At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social to announce that all his golf clubs were also missing.

Which are your favorites?

I remember way back when I was a teenager. One time my girlfriend and I broke up.
In an effort to comfort me, my uncle told me; "When one door closes, another will open up."
What a nice guy he was. Terrible cabinet maker, but truly a nice guy.