Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
Less than 1 hour old. Trump's newest lawsuit. He's been treated so unfairly. lol
Yet, he hasn't even gotten the virus.
Maybe we should be the ones suing.
Today in The New Yorker;
Maybe we should be the ones suing.
Today in The New Yorker;
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Sues the Coronavirus for Treating Him Unfairly
By Andy Borowitz
July 17, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Alleging that it “has treated me very unfairly,” Donald J. Trump announced on Friday that he is suing the coronavirus.
“This is a very nasty virus, and by that I mean it has been nasty to me personally,” Trump told reporters. “I never thought that there could be anything more terrible than Jim Acosta, but the coronavirus is like an invisible Jim Acosta.”
Offering a preview of his lawsuit, Trump said that he was accusing the coronavirus of meddling in the 2020 election.
“You look at the numbers and, every time the virus’s numbers go up, my numbers go down,” he said. “This virus is trying to rig the election for Sleepy Joe.”
Trump said that he was prepared to take his case against the coronavirus all the way to the Supreme Court, claiming, “My case is so perfect, even those ungrateful beauties Kavanaugh and Gorsuch will side with me.”
Relations between Trump and the virus have reportedly grown so strained that he no longer allows discussions of the coronavirus at meetings of the Coronavirus Task Force.
At the White House, the press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, said that Trump felt “deeply betrayed” by the coronavirus.
“COVID-19 would not be what it is today without President Trump,” she said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Sues the Coronavirus for Treating Him Unfairly
By Andy Borowitz
July 17, 2020
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Alleging that it “has treated me very unfairly,” Donald J. Trump announced on Friday that he is suing the coronavirus.
“This is a very nasty virus, and by that I mean it has been nasty to me personally,” Trump told reporters. “I never thought that there could be anything more terrible than Jim Acosta, but the coronavirus is like an invisible Jim Acosta.”
Offering a preview of his lawsuit, Trump said that he was accusing the coronavirus of meddling in the 2020 election.
“You look at the numbers and, every time the virus’s numbers go up, my numbers go down,” he said. “This virus is trying to rig the election for Sleepy Joe.”
Trump said that he was prepared to take his case against the coronavirus all the way to the Supreme Court, claiming, “My case is so perfect, even those ungrateful beauties Kavanaugh and Gorsuch will side with me.”
Relations between Trump and the virus have reportedly grown so strained that he no longer allows discussions of the coronavirus at meetings of the Coronavirus Task Force.
At the White House, the press secretary, Kayleigh McEnany, said that Trump felt “deeply betrayed” by the coronavirus.
“COVID-19 would not be what it is today without President Trump,” she said.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian who has written for The New Yorker since 1998. He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Trump finally achieves something actually bigger (and not just his record number of lies)
Today in The New Yorker
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Claims Biden Could Never Have a Pandemic As Big As His
By Andy Borowitz
July 15, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C.(The Borowitz Report)—Trying out a new line of attack against the former Vice-President, Donald Trump said on Wednesday that Joe Biden could never have a pandemic as big as his.
“Biden was Vice-President for eight years and had all the time in the world to have a pandemic,” Trump said. “Where was his pandemic?”
By contrast, Trump asserted, “In just a few months, I’ve built the biggest pandemic this country has seen in a hundred years.”
“People are going to be talking about my pandemic for generations to come,” Trump said. “What did Biden ever have? Swine flu? What a joke.”
Trump said that Biden’s failure to have “any pandemic worth writing home about” makes him a “terrible choice” to be President.
“I’ve worked hard and built an amazing pandemic, but if Biden gets in, all that goes away,” he warned.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Claims Biden Could Never Have a Pandemic As Big As His
By Andy Borowitz
July 15, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C.(The Borowitz Report)—Trying out a new line of attack against the former Vice-President, Donald Trump said on Wednesday that Joe Biden could never have a pandemic as big as his.
“Biden was Vice-President for eight years and had all the time in the world to have a pandemic,” Trump said. “Where was his pandemic?”
By contrast, Trump asserted, “In just a few months, I’ve built the biggest pandemic this country has seen in a hundred years.”
“People are going to be talking about my pandemic for generations to come,” Trump said. “What did Biden ever have? Swine flu? What a joke.”
Trump said that Biden’s failure to have “any pandemic worth writing home about” makes him a “terrible choice” to be President.
“I’ve worked hard and built an amazing pandemic, but if Biden gets in, all that goes away,” he warned.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
Washington Redskins Officially Change Their Name
The sports world has been waiting for the new name of the Washington Redskins to be announced. Wait no longer the name change has happened. The storied franchise formerly known as the Washington Redskins new name should satisfy the public and quiet their distracters.
Following an outpouring of criticism from across the country, the Washington Redskins announced Wednesday that they are officially changing the team’s name to the D.C. Redskins. “We’ve heard the concerns of many people who have been hurt or offended by the team’s previous name, and I’m happy to say we’ve now rectified the situation once and for all,” said franchise owner Dan Snyder, adding that “Washington Redskins” will be replaced with “D.C. Redskins” on all team logos, uniforms, and apparel.
Following an outpouring of criticism from across the country, the Washington Redskins announced Wednesday that they are officially changing the team’s name to the D.C. Redskins. “We’ve heard the concerns of many people who have been hurt or offended by the team’s previous name, and I’m happy to say we’ve now rectified the situation once and for all,” said franchise owner Dan Snyder, adding that “Washington Redskins” will be replaced with “D.C. Redskins” on all team logos, uniforms, and apparel.
online today!
Alcohol...
Never in my whole life would I imagine that the day would come that my hands would consume more alcohol than my mouth!!!
True what they say: This is the New Now. Terrible.
True what they say: This is the New Now. Terrible.
Yet another infectious scandal ? lol
Today in The New Yorker;
More play on Mary Trump's book reveals and tying it into other aspects of Dirty Don
from Andy Borowitz.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Pence Accused of Taking Trump’s Coronavirus Tests for Him
By Andy Borowitz
July 8, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—In a scandal that threatens to upend Donald Trump’s Presidency, a new book accuses Trump of paying Vice-President Mike Pence to take his coronavirus tests for him.
According to the book, “Swapping Swabs: Trump’s Pandemic of Lies,” when the subject of being tested for the virus first came up, in March, Trump started casting about for a “good test-taker” to substitute for him.
Trump considered several candidates for the ruse, including his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and the Attorney General, William Barr, but ultimately settled on Pence, who agreed to take the tests for the fee of twenty-five dollars per result.
Reportedly, Pence initially balked at the proposal, expressing concern that it “would look bad” if the truth about his taking Trump’s coronavirus tests came out, but Trump brusquely shut him down.
“I’ve never taken my own tests, and I’m not going to start now,” Trump allegedly snapped.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
More play on Mary Trump's book reveals and tying it into other aspects of Dirty Don
from Andy Borowitz.
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Pence Accused of Taking Trump’s Coronavirus Tests for Him
By Andy Borowitz
July 8, 2020
WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—In a scandal that threatens to upend Donald Trump’s Presidency, a new book accuses Trump of paying Vice-President Mike Pence to take his coronavirus tests for him.
According to the book, “Swapping Swabs: Trump’s Pandemic of Lies,” when the subject of being tested for the virus first came up, in March, Trump started casting about for a “good test-taker” to substitute for him.
Trump considered several candidates for the ruse, including his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and the Attorney General, William Barr, but ultimately settled on Pence, who agreed to take the tests for the fee of twenty-five dollars per result.
Reportedly, Pence initially balked at the proposal, expressing concern that it “would look bad” if the truth about his taking Trump’s coronavirus tests came out, but Trump brusquely shut him down.
“I’ve never taken my own tests, and I’m not going to start now,” Trump allegedly snapped.
Andy Borowitz is a Times best-selling author and a comedian
who has written for The New Yorker since 1998.
He writes The Borowitz Report, a satirical column on the news.
I’d like to get a lover
Previous experience required.
Now I cannot post so short a blog. They need fifty (50) characters. What exactly for?
Now I cannot post so short a blog. They need fifty (50) characters. What exactly for?
online today!
Ya gotta check this out....
...Millennial social justice UEBER warrior, Claira Janover, stupidly barked into her cell phone, onto social media, that if anyone uses the phrase "all lives matter" one more time, she was going to stab them.
Seems as though MEGA accounting firm, Deloitte, a London shop, with global reach, which had just offered her a fat job, quickly nixed the deal. We guess that they weren't excited about having someone with these behaviors, working along side of their other more grounded employees. She specifically directly blames Trump supporters and conservatives for ratting on her privileged little arse.
Of course, it's all the more delicious, in that she had just finished as a coed at Harvard. But better still, she later begins to cry hysterically during an interview. Claiming, ceteris parabus, that she was merely just trying to "leave her indelible mark" on the many honorable efforts to end racism. Once and for all.
Google it, for further belly laugh details, and more of her strident PC comments on her single handed quest to revamp our irredeemable and basket of deplorable, racist, capitalist, MERKUN society.
She briefly holds it together, having the heavy accent Millennial speak going, and in short order, hits the world with a bevy of the usual PC accusations, as to how her broadcasting of her virtues, leaves the Right far behind.
But alas, the performance quickly shifts to copious tears and flapdoodle, repeating over and over again, "but I worked so hard to get that job!"
Watch it on an empty stomach, but do watch it. Wonder if any of her act was learned at the feet of her learned professors. Harvard Square trust fund people---who doesn't just adore them all?
Seems as though MEGA accounting firm, Deloitte, a London shop, with global reach, which had just offered her a fat job, quickly nixed the deal. We guess that they weren't excited about having someone with these behaviors, working along side of their other more grounded employees. She specifically directly blames Trump supporters and conservatives for ratting on her privileged little arse.
Of course, it's all the more delicious, in that she had just finished as a coed at Harvard. But better still, she later begins to cry hysterically during an interview. Claiming, ceteris parabus, that she was merely just trying to "leave her indelible mark" on the many honorable efforts to end racism. Once and for all.
Google it, for further belly laugh details, and more of her strident PC comments on her single handed quest to revamp our irredeemable and basket of deplorable, racist, capitalist, MERKUN society.
She briefly holds it together, having the heavy accent Millennial speak going, and in short order, hits the world with a bevy of the usual PC accusations, as to how her broadcasting of her virtues, leaves the Right far behind.
But alas, the performance quickly shifts to copious tears and flapdoodle, repeating over and over again, "but I worked so hard to get that job!"
Watch it on an empty stomach, but do watch it. Wonder if any of her act was learned at the feet of her learned professors. Harvard Square trust fund people---who doesn't just adore them all?
A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, your thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you have learned. It's your own page on Connecting Singles that you can update on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. You can write about an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with Connecting Singles members. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about members you have met here. Please be sure to read the blog rules before posting.
Would YOU like to post a blog on Connecting Singles? Have you written blogs that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your blogs shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your blog will appear on the Connecting Singles Blogs page and also in a link on your profile page. Click here to post a blog »