Here is a list of Comedy Blogs ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. A Blog is a journal you may enter about your life, thoughts, interesting experiences, or lessons you've learned. Post an opinion, impart words of wisdom, or talk about something interesting in your day. Update your blog on a regular basis, or just whenever you have something to say. Creating a blog is a good way to share something of yourself with others. Reading blogs is a good way to learn more about others. Click here to post a blog.
When 2 of the worst US presidents duke it out.....with words.
First the background, well summed up by the following video;
Then quick as a bunny, the comedy from Borowitz, laden with the irony of what should have been said, if Trump was truthful.
Then quick as a bunny, the comedy from Borowitz, laden with the irony of what should have been said, if Trump was truthful.
In response to:
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Calls Bush Ungrateful: “I Kept Him from Being the Worst President in History”
By Andy Borowitz
September 13, 2021
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering attack on another former Commander-in-Chief, Donald J. Trump called George W. Bush “ungrateful,” telling reporters, “I kept him from being the worst President in history.”
“When he left office, he was at the bottom of the list of Presidents—I mean, the very, very bottom,” he said. “Then I got into office and changed all that.”
“I worked hard, day in, day out, to keep Bush from being the worst,” he said. “He’s given me no credit for that whatsoever. This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”
Despite doing Bush “this incredible favor,” Trump said, “I have never got so much as a thank-you note from that ungrateful bastard. I don’t know, maybe he’s too busy with his so-called paintings to write.”
Trump called Bush’s warnings about domestic terrorism during a speech on the twentieth anniversary of 9/11 “totally out of line.” He added, “When he was President, there were terrorists all over the world. I brought terrorism jobs back to the U.S.A.”
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Trump Calls Bush Ungrateful: “I Kept Him from Being the Worst President in History”
By Andy Borowitz
September 13, 2021
PALM BEACH (The Borowitz Report)—In a blistering attack on another former Commander-in-Chief, Donald J. Trump called George W. Bush “ungrateful,” telling reporters, “I kept him from being the worst President in history.”
“When he left office, he was at the bottom of the list of Presidents—I mean, the very, very bottom,” he said. “Then I got into office and changed all that.”
“I worked hard, day in, day out, to keep Bush from being the worst,” he said. “He’s given me no credit for that whatsoever. This should never be allowed to happen in this country.”
Despite doing Bush “this incredible favor,” Trump said, “I have never got so much as a thank-you note from that ungrateful bastard. I don’t know, maybe he’s too busy with his so-called paintings to write.”
Trump called Bush’s warnings about domestic terrorism during a speech on the twentieth anniversary of 9/11 “totally out of line.” He added, “When he was President, there were terrorists all over the world. I brought terrorism jobs back to the U.S.A.”
The Polite Way to P...(ee)
During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Johnny", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" ?
Johnny...
said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' ??
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. ??
And you, Michael?
can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Michael....
said: 'I would say: honey..., may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' ????
The teacher fainted...????
"Johnny", if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?" ?
Johnny...
said: 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'
The teacher responded by saying: 'That would be rude and impolite'
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'
Sherman said: 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.' ??
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table. ??
And you, Michael?
can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?
Michael....
said: 'I would say: honey..., may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.' ????
The teacher fainted...????
God Must Be Crazy !!!
I sometimez feel really baaddd for that God fella !! I mean if there is One !! 
If God is around somewhere , then The God must be thinking ...
"These two legged creature called human Braught me down here on Earth for their own Personal Agenda...
When did I Asked to this creature called Human to Bring me down to Earth to Have any of their Recognition as God at all !!?
"
"Now look at these Humans... There are sooo many other species here in Universe ... No one has become that much pain in my a*s except these Humans !!
"
"These Humans Bugging me constantly with their all kind of Prayers (I have lost count of how many different methods they have invented to Bug me in the name of Religion !!
) ... "
"These Humans always Nagging me for every Problem they face every now and then... Can't they sort out anything by themselves at all !! Even if they have a pimple on their face , still they will poke me !!! Can you imagine !!
"
"And don't forget the Blaming part !! For all of their own Choices and Actions , whenever they got into Trouble , they start to Blame me !!
And these Humans will Drag me to Justify every Rediculous Rule they have ever made and everything they have done Wrong ever..
"
"And then , to my worst Nightmare , these Humans started Pulling me into their own messing Battleground called as Debate Over The Existence Of God !!!!!
"
"Geeezzz !!! Will these Humans Live And Let Live me alone in my own World Of Peace ever for Gods' sake !!!!!
"
If God is around somewhere , then The God must be thinking ...
"These two legged creature called human Braught me down here on Earth for their own Personal Agenda...
When did I Asked to this creature called Human to Bring me down to Earth to Have any of their Recognition as God at all !!?
""Now look at these Humans... There are sooo many other species here in Universe ... No one has become that much pain in my a*s except these Humans !!
""These Humans Bugging me constantly with their all kind of Prayers (I have lost count of how many different methods they have invented to Bug me in the name of Religion !!
) ... ""These Humans always Nagging me for every Problem they face every now and then... Can't they sort out anything by themselves at all !! Even if they have a pimple on their face , still they will poke me !!! Can you imagine !!
""And don't forget the Blaming part !! For all of their own Choices and Actions , whenever they got into Trouble , they start to Blame me !!
And these Humans will Drag me to Justify every Rediculous Rule they have ever made and everything they have done Wrong ever..
""And then , to my worst Nightmare , these Humans started Pulling me into their own messing Battleground called as Debate Over The Existence Of God !!!!!
""Geeezzz !!! Will these Humans Live And Let Live me alone in my own World Of Peace ever for Gods' sake !!!!!
"
Didn't see that one coming.....
I was sitting at a bar one time, when I noticed that, next to me, an old drunk was hassling one of the biggest, toughest guys I’d ever seen.
The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy’s face, saying “I slept with your mother.”
Despite being huge and jacked, the tough guy just kept shrugging it off. The old guy laughed in the tough guy’s face, saying it again. “Hey, I slept with your mot*her.”
Then, the old man even poked him, and repeated himself, “No seriously, I slept with your mo*ther.”
At this point, finally, the tough guy had had enough. He grabbed the old man by his jacket and began to pull him out of the bar, yelling,
.......
“That’s it. .......
We’re going home, Dad. You’re drunk.”
The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy’s face, saying “I slept with your mother.”
Despite being huge and jacked, the tough guy just kept shrugging it off. The old guy laughed in the tough guy’s face, saying it again. “Hey, I slept with your mot*her.”
Then, the old man even poked him, and repeated himself, “No seriously, I slept with your mo*ther.”
At this point, finally, the tough guy had had enough. He grabbed the old man by his jacket and began to pull him out of the bar, yelling,
.......
“That’s it. .......
We’re going home, Dad. You’re drunk.”
Biden's Guest Hosting Of 'Jeopardy!' A Disaster
Biden's Guest Hosting Of 'Jeopardy!' A Disaster As He Flees Every Time A Contestant Puts An Answer In Form Of A Question.
CULVER CITY, CA—It seemed like a big coup for the game show Jeopardy! as they got the President of the United States himself, Joe Biden, to host. But it ended up being a disaster, as every time a contest answered in the form of a question, Biden would immediately turn and leave.
“What is the Roman Empire?” answered contestant Keith Black, a school teacher.
“I’m not taking questions at this time,” Biden said as he turned to leave the studio.
Producers then had to explain to him that in Jeopardy!, all answers are in the form of questions, but he’s not actually being questioned.
“Well, that’s just malarkey,” Biden reportedly said before going back in to host.
Still, his reflex about questions was too ingrained, as when a contest answered, “What is photosynthesis?” Biden again immediately left.
“Sorry,” he said while exiting the stage, “my staff says if I answer any questions, I don’t get ice cream.”
One of the producers then tried to fill in as host for the rest of the show, but someone in the audience soon found a bad tweet of his, and the guest host was shot on sight.
This blog is SATIRE folks.
CULVER CITY, CA—It seemed like a big coup for the game show Jeopardy! as they got the President of the United States himself, Joe Biden, to host. But it ended up being a disaster, as every time a contest answered in the form of a question, Biden would immediately turn and leave.
“What is the Roman Empire?” answered contestant Keith Black, a school teacher.
“I’m not taking questions at this time,” Biden said as he turned to leave the studio.
Producers then had to explain to him that in Jeopardy!, all answers are in the form of questions, but he’s not actually being questioned.
“Well, that’s just malarkey,” Biden reportedly said before going back in to host.
Still, his reflex about questions was too ingrained, as when a contest answered, “What is photosynthesis?” Biden again immediately left.
“Sorry,” he said while exiting the stage, “my staff says if I answer any questions, I don’t get ice cream.”
One of the producers then tried to fill in as host for the rest of the show, but someone in the audience soon found a bad tweet of his, and the guest host was shot on sight.
This blog is SATIRE folks.
3 Contractors
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House.
One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
* The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
* The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
* The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."
The official, incredulous, says:
"You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure? ”
The Chicago contractor whispers back:
"$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."
* "Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.
One is from Chicago, another is from Kentucky, and the third is from New Orleans.
All three go with a White House official to examine the fence.
* The New Orleans contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $9,000. That's $4,000 for materials, $4,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
* The Kentucky contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $7,000. That's $3,000 for materials, $3,000 for my crew and $1,000 profit for me."
* The Chicago contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$27,000."
The official, incredulous, says:
"You didn't even measure like the other guys. How did you come up with such a high figure? ”
The Chicago contractor whispers back:
"$10,000 for me, $10,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Kentucky to fix the fence."
* "Done!" replies the government official.
And that, my friends, is how the Government Stimulus plan worked.
WHY OH WHY ....
connecting singles ,,,this is where you get a chance completely free of charge , to portray ones self to a world wide audience in the hope of meeting or chatting to like minded people,,
Be it through private messaging ,blogs or forums,
well as most realistic people can see that maybe the CS,,should stand for clown show ,because this site is not lacking there ,
if you take away , politics ,religion , and covid .then sadly the clowns are lost , left scratching their heads because thought provoking discussion is not logged into what few brain cells that they own ,
then you have the cat fights ,where by the females of the species openly go to war against one and each other , with out any regards to what the subject matter maybe , and they are not on their own either as the men folk are not much better all be it ,they do tend to calm down with in a day or two ,
i just wonder if this is just keyboard bravado or are these people like this in the real world ????
if what is portrayed on here is reality then the future is not very bright for any siblings of these people or for man kind in that case ,
SO to all the genuine people i say have a great day ,,,,,,
Be it through private messaging ,blogs or forums,
well as most realistic people can see that maybe the CS,,should stand for clown show ,because this site is not lacking there ,
if you take away , politics ,religion , and covid .then sadly the clowns are lost , left scratching their heads because thought provoking discussion is not logged into what few brain cells that they own ,
then you have the cat fights ,where by the females of the species openly go to war against one and each other , with out any regards to what the subject matter maybe , and they are not on their own either as the men folk are not much better all be it ,they do tend to calm down with in a day or two ,
i just wonder if this is just keyboard bravado or are these people like this in the real world ????
if what is portrayed on here is reality then the future is not very bright for any siblings of these people or for man kind in that case ,
SO to all the genuine people i say have a great day ,,,,,,
Fun: ...excellent facilities for your private parts....
Copied from another page (goes to show that translation is not easy ?? ):
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….
Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall.
He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please
note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle depart.
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English……….
Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall.
He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please
note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
The Restaurant: Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.
Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above all: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle depart.
online today!
All of you...
In the South, all of you has been replaced with Y'all.
This happened long before the time of the Civil War.
Everyone is included when you say Y'all.
But... (there's always a but) if Y'all isn't enough, you can make it plural and say Y'all's as in "I needs to knows what Y'all's want for the barbecue on Saturday"
Yeah, all of you!
This happened long before the time of the Civil War.
Everyone is included when you say Y'all.
But... (there's always a but) if Y'all isn't enough, you can make it plural and say Y'all's as in "I needs to knows what Y'all's want for the barbecue on Saturday"
Yeah, all of you!
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