Last Commented Comedy Blogs (1,864)

Texas Democratic lawmakers have left Texas and flew to Washington D.C. so they can't vote on a bill regarding voting restrictions. Other states are now calling Texas for advise on how they too can get Democrats to leave.

Does this smell like...............................................
...................................
............................
................ chloroform to you ?

I say to myself as I cripple to the cupboard to get some Advil and a glass of water

Today from The New Yorker;

A holiday joke for you.

A difference between George Washington and a mallard duck.
.
.
.
.
.
.

The mallard has ......................................................a bill on it's face,
while George has his face on a $1 bill.




OK, one more. How do American flags greet each other ?
.
.
.
They just..... wave.


However you celebrate today, I hope you have an excellent one.

A virus that causes those infected "to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning imaginable that pops up in the alleged minds of the spreaders and their facilitators". The usual symptoms of infections include the willingness to believe improbable stories without ever thinking; the urge and obsession to forward multiple copies of these stories to others including all types of authorities, and a total lack of any desire to take even 2 minutes to either check that such stories are true or to listen to themselves.
A warning about this virus issued sometime ago by the supposed "Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena, has been widely disseminated on line and by various news stations at some points in times past. If internet users suspect they've been infected, the messages advise, they should "rush to their favourite search engines and look up the item(s) and simply look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. In most homes, legends, alleged news stories and, of course, rumours and "tall tales" are and have been widely discussed, laughed at and exposed by the many internet users that still retain at least, a facsimile of coherent minds, some examples: If someone comes to your door saying they are conducting a survey and asks you to take your clothes off, do not do it! This is a scam; they only want to see you naked. Many wish they'd gotten this warning yesterday. You will feel cheap and dirty now...
A new computer virus is spreading throughout the entire internet! It is far more insidious than the virus last week's called the "I've been Abducted by Tiny Aliens", named after a classic guide to family style Jokes, it returns email messages that have over the top adult jokes totally inappropriate to most families scared of God and have numerous grammatical errors... another is White People Are being Shrunk by Coloured Aliens from Inner Space! Emergency emails arriving soon....Please forward this message to everyone on your e-mail list NOW!

Calling all moderators... Calling all moderators... Be on the lookout for 40 bogus profiles.
They are giving out phone numbers and email address, using photos stolen from Twitter and Instagram. They come from non-existent locations like Dallas, New York and New York, Virginia.
Considered annoying by CS'ers and possibly dangerous to the unsuspecting newbies.

end of message.. over (squelch chirp)

I loved the show 'Whose Line is it Anyway', because the audience would choose topics and then the comedians would act out a combination of those topics. It was terrific ad lib comedy.

Long before that, there was 'Hollywood Squares'.
It had 9 boxes and the contestants tried to play tic tac toe,
by getting 3 boxes correct in a row. Each box had a Hollywood star,
who would answer a question. First they would give a joke answer
and then would give what they felt was the correct answer.
The contestants would take turns guessing if their real answer was correct or not.

Well most recently, there is a show called 'Funny You Should Ask'.
It has a somewhat similar scenario, but without the tic tac toe aspect.
Comedians and other somewhat famous people first give a joke answer
and then what they think is the right answer and again the contestants alternate guessing whether the answer they gave was correct or not.

It's quite funny. For instance, the episode I just got done with had 6 stars including John Lovitz and Louie Anderson.

Here's 4 of the questions and the joke answer from tonight's show;

#1. True or false, a company recently was making make-up from human corpses.

Joke answer = Yeah, well, maybe it's Maybelline, or maybe it's your late great Aunt Mabel.

#2. Georgia is known as the state of 3 p's, Peaches, Peanuts and ..... ?

Joke answer = Incestual Pregnancies.

#3. True or False, According to Homes & Gardens magazine, the most dangerous room in a home is the bathroom.

Joke Answer = Yes ! Especially after I use it after eating chilli.

#4. What animal has a nickname of 'Whistle Pigs' ?

Joke answer = Construction workers !

There's an initial round of ~ 5 questions each for each contestant and they get $100 for each one they get right. Then, there's a second round where they double that to $200 each for each right answer.
And the winner then get an third championship round.
So, there's lots of opportunity for laughter.

If I win the lottery I'll buy this place and make membership free!