I've actually had the opposite happen to me....meet someone with the intention of hopefully making a great friend....just to find out...well you know...
I'm always wary of things that "move too fast"...however...I have been wrong in the past...so i'm not one to question anyone else...what is good and right for some is not always good and right for others....
What is the ONE single invention that you can recall that has impressed you the most??....and why?
And just to get this one out of the way....yes the "computer" has been awesome...it has allowed us all to meet and talk to people we otherwise would never have known!!
What is the ONE single invention that you can recall that has impressed you the most??....and why?
And just to get this one out of the way....yes the "computer" has been awesome...it has allowed us all to meet and talk to people we otherwise would never have known!!
I think each one of us has questioned "why me?"..and have been lonely...and yes that's why we're all here...
But you see, whether conscious or sub-consciously we have decided to do something about it...join a dating site where we are at least giving ourself a chance to change our "lonely" status...
However in reply to the rest of it....that is exactly the point that i am trying to get at here...by "honoring" your family...what are you giving up in the meantime to satisfy and please them??
Your family can love you all the world...but that is cold comfort in the middle of the night when you're laying in your bed alone...because you are too afraid to follow your heart in fear of "dishonoring" them....
Though i am in this quandry myself, the question was really brought up because several of us over on the Canadian site has been discussing it (in private emails) I just decided to put it out there and see what others had to say...
I know my family loves me to death (well their interpretation anyways)...my older sister has always said to me that there is nothing in this world i could do or say that would ever make her stop loving me.... And my dad...no matter what i have done...has always told people it was "well done"...(even if it was the most idiotic thing i can do)
That type of love works both ways....it encourages you...but at the same time it pressures you because you don't want to hurt them because they do love you and stand by you...I don't want to take advantage of that type of unconditional love...
Thanks Darrin...I agree that the older i get and the more "crap" i have to deal with...the more i tend to "listen" to what they may have to say....but ultimately do what i want in the end...
I am hoping the others that have been discussing this situation with me are reading the replies here...
Disclaimer: I know i have said it before that i think i am an intelligent woman....however...let it be known that my mom still has the ability to make me feel like a 10 year old idiot at the best of times....
LOL,....that's what i was thinking too, but removed it from my reply...some of the things i am "pressured" to do is because some distant "cousin" (as you put it...lol) will hear about it and my family will have to "hang their head in shame"...*sigh*
Sometimes i have to wonder though where are "they" when i have a bill to pay and not sure how i'm going to swing all those expenses for the month...
Hi doll...this is something i myself am going through, as well as someone else i know who has been discussing it with me...so i just wanted the input of others as well...
I too have lived my life to please others it seems...but you're right...the hoopla dies down and they go back to their life and i wonder at what i'm left holding...all because i tried to please everyone else and worried what they would "say" if i made a decision that benefitted only me...
No matter how much we deny it...the majority of us make decisions to "please" our families, parents and loved ones...
And those of us here even at our mature ages, are no different...
Why do we do it?...even at the expense of our own happiness? Why do their opinions matter so much to us...even when we are on our own, worrying about our own children, our bills our jobs...but yet still will jump through hoops to please them...and then lay awake at night suffering in silence?
No matter how much we deny it...the majority of us make decisions to "please" our families, parents and loved ones...
And those of us here even at our mature ages, are no different...
Why do we do it?...even at the expense of our own happiness? Why do their opinions matter so much to us...even when we are on our own, worrying about our own children, our bills our jobs...but yet still will jump through hoops to please them...and then lay awake at night suffering in silence?
To me its not that simple as a yes or no...until you are faced with the situation...
Refusing to relocate is also closing doors...not that it may not eventually close, but what thought or effort has gone into it before saying "Nope...can't do it"...??
By the same token...saying..."yep..in a heartbeat" is easier said than done...because once you start to take apart all the bits and pieces that make you who you are, where you are...its not that easy of a decision either...
Then put your "obsessive" thoughts down on paper and separate them into two groups....
One group of things you can do something about...and another group of things that you cannot..
Make a decision to get rid of the things that you cannot change because you are expending your efforts on things that will still remain as they are no matter what you do...
And then put a goal plan into place to rectify the thoughts that with some effort you can do something about...
I think i'm "fluffy"...and i LOVE it... Makes me feel more feminine....
And though i do like men with a bit of fluff themself...I did not end up with one...the man has the most amazing body for his age!! Drinks lots of beer and has the flattest stomach i've seen on a "mature" man yet!....oh well what's a girl to do...we gotta take what we get huh???
Sometimes i feel ripped off though...I give him all "this" and i get "that" in return....(*sigh*)
What you want at 20 is not what you want at 30 is not what you want at 40...
The best you can hope for is that your partner is "changing" in the same direction as you and you both are striving towards the same goals...if not...you have come to a fork in the road...does not mean that you don't love them...means you now want different things out of life...
What may once have been important to you might have to take a back seat as other things take its place....know what i mean??...Its a maturity thing...
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RE: God has another angel :o(
Tracy I am so very sorry honey....my heart goes out to you and your family....we are all here if you need us...