Most Viewed Comedy Blogs (1,864)

As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket.
She says to Donald, "See how clever I am?
The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie.”
I will definitely win the election.

Donald says to Hillary, "That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit.
I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."
Donald goes to the owner of the bakery and says, "Give me a pastry and I will show you a magic trick."
Intrigued, the owner accepts and gives him a pastry.
Trump swallows it and asks for another one.
The owner gives him another one.
Then Donald asks for a third pastry and eats that, too.
The owner is starting to wonder where the magic trick is and asks, "What did you do with the pastries?"
Trump replies, "Look in Hillary's pocket"...

Where's everybody?

Too quiet here...


My Jerk just woke me up and I had a long phone call with him and I'm having a fabulous day







Lots of love to you all

more like a psychological institution...

If you're here to get laid, don't think you're in the right place, so many creepy profiles here with creepy profile names and creepy profile photos ...


It's like a ghost town here, Just want to say Hi...

and thanks Dan for dragging me back here

If the pen is mightier than the sword, why do actions speak louder than words?

Pretoria - A house robber is in hospital after he was slashed with a sword in Bassonia, Johannesburg, on Friday. The man was part of a gang of three who tried breaking into a house in the early hours of Friday morning. "The house owner heard them and woke up. When he went to investigate, he saw three men in the house. They tried to attack him and he reached for a display sword and defended himself,"



BELOW:And its a well known fact that our Police Force imports these pens in BULK for making out the crime dockets.

UOST (Union Of Shopping Trolleys)

With British retailers now charging a staggering 5 pence per plastic shopping bag shoppers have begun to steal trolleys, this has prompted a new Union set up by the association of trolleys and carts.
Membership has been unprecedented with over a million trolleys joining in just a week.

A spokes trolley issued a press release citing the blatant theft as well as physical and mental abuse of its members due to shoppers being really silly and standing firm on a lack of principals over the cost a fecking plastic bag.

The Spokes Trolley stated that Government has not been supportive to the plight of its members and abuse has become untenable, he mentions that members were left abandoned in strange streets, used as BBQ's and thrown without mercy into canals and streams.

Images (not for the weak) show a trolley found crying and abandoned on the side of the road and trolleys kicked and overturned by non bag buying shoppers.

If you are or know a trolley in distress join the UOST now and the recovery agents (Trained in France) will come to your aid.
Viva the UOST...........down with silly shoppers!

Hey, don't beat yourself too much...we all go through some bad days It could be my turn sometime

Here's one when you wake up in the morning:




and of course one from James too:




just want you to know that many of us here will miss your blogs. Have some quiet time and come back here

He spotted her immediately
He was starstruck at her beauty
Vibrant russet locks flowing down her back
Cheekbones cut from pure granite
Breasts that defied gravity & science
Electric blue eyes that beguiled him home



He woke up to hair extensions of the floor
Short mousy brown hair rinsed clear of colour
Face without highlighter,
Chicken fillets removed from bra
Coloured contact lenses back in their box




Be careful of the illusion, it is just that.

Happy Christmas

Posting these, then over and out. Night all.

A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver read:
We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you

---

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

---

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

---

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

---

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."

---

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

---

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

---

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

---

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

---

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -miss a car payment."

---

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

---

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

---

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

---

Sign on the back of a Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

Sometimes when I am looking at the blogs trying to get my head around them, I am a bit daunted by the length of the blog!
Great though many of them are, I sometimes just don't have time to read them deeply and make a point in return. Guess it depends on our lifestyles.

So here's a short and sweet blog:

HI EVERYONE, DROP IN AND SAY HELLO

This place needs livening up a bit!!

Dance Partner Wanted...