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This is too hilarious and it would be a sin not to share it here

Beautiful Sunday here. Just had my second mug of hot chocolate

Have a lovely Sunday everyone!

Friend A – conversational bridge – always a competition. Worse, better, always the need to take the trick. Example – idle comment – “I’ve just done (insert neutral topic here) it was okay. Response - I did that once, it was rubbish / fantastic. Long involved details follow. You win.

Friend B - attention span issues. Example – Yesterday I tried adding lime pepper to my pasta and – ooh I saw something on cooking the other day, let me show you, and out comes the phone tap tap tap here see that. Well okay but what I meant was – did I tell you about the shoes I just bought? I took a photo, tap tap tap, look. So I give up but friend is waiting expectantly for the next topic to interrupt . . .

Friend C – the persistent grouch. I walked the dog for over an hour, I’m absolutely knackered. That must be nice. It’s hard for me to walk since the pain started in my foot. Have you seen a doctor about that yet? What’s the point there’s nothing they can do just a waste of time and money doctors are so expensive and all they do is give you the pills the pharma companies want them to promote

Friend D – the partner fixation – what did you think of the (insert situation here) I’ll have to come back to you on that, partner has not yet told me how we feel about that.

I think I need a few new friends, I've used these ones up. But if it's me ...

Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was great.

Which was more an on and off relationship

A seesaw realationship



Yet I stayed on too see how low can one steep

And he steeped very low. So low he could smell the ground

Faking his feelings. Or trying too

A man of many faces

A real fake A great actor

Or so he thought

I was sooooooo much in playing detective

And I was playing his game

He was too entertaining....... his lies and bull....t



But when I had enough of his bulls....t

Off with his head

A knight in tin foil

So....... I called in the clowns

Hey...YOU....... dont give a damn what you tell your friends



Couldnt care less

I have better things to do. Like living my life

Read the ‘story’ below before pasting the link in your address line.…


>> So this retired guy sits around the house all day. Wifey says, "You could do something useful,
>> like vacuum the house once a week."
>>
>> Guy gives it a moment's thought and says, "Sure, why not. Show me to the vacuum."
>>
>> Half an hour later, the guy comes into the kitchen to get some coffee.
>>
>> Wife says, "I didn't hear the vacuum running. I thought you were using it?"
>>
>> Exasperated man answers, "The stupid thing is broken, won't start. Got to buy a new one."
>>
>> "Really", she says., "Show me - it worked fine the last time." So he did ..
>>
>>COPY AND PASTE IN THE ADDRESS LINE AND OPEN.
?
>>

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B4ulcsSJuR6GUGlCM19lZHl6SngyU2JNYjFYeUFadTB6S0dN/view?usp=drive_web

Aspirateur1.mp4


>> ?

On a winter morning, a woman texts her husband "windows is frozen, what do I do?"

Husband texts back "pour some luke warm water over it and gently tap the edged with a hammer."

Wife texts back "computer really messed up now."

Here's the result of my previous blog " What Else Would You Like For CS To Do To Make You Happy?"

All suggestions from other bloggers are up there, any more suggestions, reactions, revisions and recommendations are welcome.

Have a lovely day/night everyone!

Breaking news ! Trump is holed up in the Whitehouse refusing to leave and hopefully holding his breath
until the Democrats approve $ 5 Billion for a wall.
That tactic may have worked with his father, when he was 5 years old.
But, it isn't happening.

Supposed author of 'The Art of the Deal'.

Meanwhile, most of Washington DC has quit on him and now Trump has caused a partial government shutdown.
It appears that yet another segment of the government will be rooting him out of office.
I'm sure they will wish him well.
"Have a nice impeachment."

This morning I woke up with wonderful news in my inbox. I got an email from the International FIFA World Cup Online Lottery informing me that I have won a large sum of money.

The message read:
Subject:
FROM THE FIFA LOTTERY 2015
Message:
Attn beneficiary your won price of 15m has been isued and prepared for dispatch by the paying bank call your agent Tony Smith on O87 555 8888 immediately to avoid diqualifications.

I have changed the contact name and phone number just in case there is a rogue lurking here amongst us who may try to usurp my winnings. This is the first time in my life that I won something. Nobody is going to deprive me of it.

I’m going to get drunk for a week and then I will have a three-month pub crawl so I can decide what to do with my new riches. If you need funds for a good course, you’re welcome to apply. I will gladly oblige. No scammers please, I can smell you a mile off.

I’m a little surprised that an organization like FIFA can use such poor grammar and I would have expected them to use a spell checker. Do they have no pride in what they do? And why will they be using a Yahoo mail address? I always imagined that FIFA would have its own domain name.

But I’m not going to split hair. I have 15 million reasons to be happy. Hey! 15 million what? Euros, US$, Rand? I must phone again to ask the guy. I hope it is not Zim Dollars. Anyway, I’m off to the bank to send the R10,000 to facilitate the transfer of funds to my banking account.


I hope your day started as well as mine.

WALKS INTO A BAR... DOUBLE VODKAS

A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of a day."

"Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay."

The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says, "I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!"

On the third day, the guy comes into the bar and orders another six double vodkas. The bartender says, "Jesus! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?"

The man downs the first drink and shakes his head, "Yeah, my wife!"



AFTER THE HONEYMOON

A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom's best friend takes him aside and asks what's wrong.

"Well," replies the man, "when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," says his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years."

"That's not the problem, " the groom says. "She gave me $20 change!" ... .... .... ,,,,,,,,,,,,QUIZ..........

I am remarkably well and thoroughly sound.
Cut me quick and it will be seen,
That I instantly have a marvelous sheen.
New appear, sometimes old disappear;
I am a wonderful help to mankind,
Proud woman grabs holds me hard,
The wise and knowledgeable man is sure of it.
Even the fool knows it.
The rich man wants it.
The greatest of heroes fears with out it,
Yet the lowliest of cowards would die for it.
What is this upon which I ponder?