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Things don't look good from my part of the world here, neither the rest of the world!

8,597,407 current Covid-19 cases and soaring, pope endorsing same sex unions, messy US elections, wars, occupations, hurricanes, floods, fires, terrorisms, many psychos going nuts all over the world and many many more shites going on, the entire world is so f*cked up.

I've watched TWD up to Season 7, Outbreak, Virus and other end of the world movies , more than enough to educate me on how to be prepared for the apocalypse.

They say get out of the city as soon as you can, with collapsed economy and useless government, supermarkets and food suppliers will be looted, find a quiet place near some water source and with fertile lands so you can plant and become self reliant. I'm surrounded by desserts here, f*ck!!! closest source of water to me is the Dead Sea, too salty for the fish to survive so I guess, I won't be going anywhere else.

First sensible thing to do is hoard bottled waters and foods, canned, dehydrated foods , pulses , medicines, yes some Xanax would be handy, disinfectant, sterile wipes and lots of tissues ??? Good thing, I've started collecting some this.

A couple of days ago, I found myself submerging some carrots in the water, hoping to see some roots in the next few days or so. I'm planning to plant them in a big pot so I will at least have my own source of carrots when the supply finally runs out. I'm thinking maybe I can plant some potatoes in the big pots too ? I'm getting some herbs this weekend and some bok choy cabbage & tomatoes would be nice. I have a little place here with good access to sunlight so I think it's time to use it wisely.

I have yet to prepare a bug out bag. I was checking online on what essentials should be in my bug out bag and below are what they listed :
Water, Water treatment method: Such as a filter,water purification tabs, etc.
Tent or tarp or sleeping bag, survival food such as protein bars or MREs, some canned foods
matches stored in a water proof container, first aid kit
Self-defense weapon, have no firearms but I have pepperspray and some kitchen knives so I will be armed to the teeth. Hygiene kit, change of clothes, rain jacket, boots, paracord and ropes, heavy duty gloves, face mask, Emergency light, flashlight, chemical lights…
Cash: At least $50 is recommended
Compass and maps , I have a messed up sense of direction so I don't think this would help me.
Survival stove and cook set, folding shovel, trash bags, spare batteries, duck tape
Charging kit, best would be the portable solar power bank. and some cards for entertainment

Just thinking of those listed items, I can already feel the heavy weight of my bug out bag

well another survivalist recommended condoms, lots of it, featherweight, ultracompact and durable, condoms (nonlubricated, please) can be used as a makeshift canteen to store water, a fire starter or as elastic bands for an improvised slingshot to hunt small game

Better to be prepared than sorry

Any other suggestions ?

I had been worried, no one seems to care about the plight of shopping trolleys, so I decided to investigate and what I found shocked me.

I parked my van in a supermarket car park near to closing time with a hamper of food and a flask of coffee to keep me sustained and waited until everyone had gone.

After an hour nothing happened, the same after 3 hours, I had by this time finished last my egg mayonnaise sandwich and tucked into a Marmite and cheese baguette, suddenly I noticed a few trolleys move away from where they had been locked up, how they opened the chain I can only guess, one of them seemed to have straight wheels, and no bits of paper stuck inside its metallic frame, this was the obvious leader, the group moved slowly and with stealth near to my van, I ducked down and hid, trembling with fear, they came right up to the driver's side window and I could feel them checking to see if anyone was inside, unfortunately the combination of egg mayo and Marmite with cheese created a large amount of small flatulettes, these combined into one large expulsion of a noxious gas, afraid for my life I could not open a window or the door and simply passed out.

I awoke later and found myself tied up on the car park floor surrounded by a mob of angry trolleys, they were shaking their wobbly wheels and making a noise a bit like a washing machine with coins left in a pocket.

The leader approached me and spoke in a very quiet voice in English " What do you know pusher?" I told him that I was sitting in my van thinking about the International space station, he lashed out with a wheel and hit me hard, the others laid into me, beating me harder and harder, after a while I fell unconscious.

I woke a few hours later, but in the van, I checked my face for deep cuts to find none, they had obviously patched me up and put me back in the van, I started the engine and drove away, as I passed the trolley bay I saw that they were back and chained up, I felt the threat and drove off home.

So be careful!, treat your trolley with respect and you will be safe, they will arise one day and those that were kind to them will survive, the others will not and spend the rest of their lives in trolley park hell.

Walking backwards is the new trend in health & fitness; it’s excellent to hone your spatial awareness skills as it increases what you would have seen walking forwards by 50%, and is also known to increase the Wi-Fi signals in doughnuts.

Dr. Whet Faartz from the Irish Institute of Science has conducted studies that confirm walking backwards improves human skills such as finger pointing and clapping as well as helping those who are vowel deficient to be able to count to potato a lot easier.

Dr.Faartz also stated that Darwin would be proud of our step forward in evolution and that walking backwards properly will make a happier society, create world peace and reduce famine a little.

If you are an Emu or Kangaroo do not attempt to walk backwards as you cannot and will fall and possibly injure yourself.

Do you walk backwards and if so what benefits have you seen?

My blanket fort has been evacuated; Time for coffee, Coffee bar is full.

Coffee ingested in groups of three, you wonder if that passerby is into vajazzling

Perhaps the coffee is far too strong, I begin to ponder:-

Revelation! Turn a ladder upside down and climb down things.

Is your sister an only child? Did Gloria Gaynor survive?

Is that a Kangaroo? No just a skinny greyhound having a shit.

As the sun rises you hear that Lionel Ritchie wants to know if you are looking for him.

You read of Social Justice Warriors making Idiots out of themselves.

You light another cigarette, will it make me dumb?

Shoplifting can result in Jail, Jail as a male will enlarge your rectum.

Would I eat Breast Milk Cheese? Surely it’s the similar milk, so yes why not.

Do you remember wedding vows? A..E..I..O..U doesn’t sound right; perhaps the cigarettes should go in the bin.

Ponders the lost art of finger pointing and if Wi-Fi can be set up in donuts.

Conversation amongst the other patrons seems to be tractor related...yawn

Methinks, too much coffee, *googles rehab*

You ever have far too much coffee?

Happy, Happy Birthday Itchy! May you have many more!

A lot of misery last night on Twitter because of David Bowie, and one of my unhappy friends tweeted a link to a film scene featuring him. I looked, to be polite, and oh my the film starred my favourite actor, Jeff Goldblum. I have no idea why I have such a massive teenage-level crush on a man who has turned into a fly, been half-eaten by a T Rex, and has eyes that bulge with horror so often he’s practically pop-eyed, but there it is, I do. Tall dark intense brilliant geeks? Yes PLEASE.



oh lord, I said, I have a passion for Jeff Goldblum. May watch this over and over all night.

AND JEFF GOLDBLUM RESPONDED TO MY TWEET.

I hope you do, he said, hur hur hur. And he attached a video clip of himself laughing.

Okay, it’s only 12 January, but that is the biggest rush I’ve had this year. No question.

we all use to host on here....to try to get to a hundred responses or more.....ok...how about some of the dumbest words u have heard...ok i shall begin with....your check is in the mail....unbelieveable!!

An explorer had recently gone through a very emotional break-up
and to get away from it all was in a cave, looking for ancient treasure.

The explorer found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out.
The genie said "I will grant you three wishes,
BUT your ex spouse will get double anything you get."

The explorer agreed, and said
"I wish I had a beautiful mansion."

The genie granted it, but the explorer's ex got two mansions.

The explorer said "for my second wish, I would like 10 million dollars."
The genie again granted it and the explorer's ex got twenty million dollars.

Then the explorer said, "for my third and final wish,
....... .......................
.
.

........I would like to be scared half to death."

---

I hope everyone here has been doing excellent and having a terrific day.

Yes, the crimes of (so called) President Trump are not "exciting" enough for you.
While perhaps treasonous and impeachable, they lack the titillation of an affair with a pornstar,
or the claim of being able to shoot people on 5th Avenue.

I get it. Legal battles are not like the (so called) 'reality' TV that a lot of you are emotionally addicted to.
To help you last night SNL aired "As the Impeachment Turns".