Comedy Blogs (1,863)

That Russia bears no 'Ill Will or Hostility' toward the USA. These are all 'made up' accusations to increase tension between East and West. Thus most Americans are worried about the future while the Russians are laughing their AO.

Proof of this is purely in the fact that they don't endorse and condone all Biden's and his side-kick Harris' actions.

Just think clearly for a moment here. If any country wanted the USA to carry on its suicidal path of self destruction then they would endorse and compliment each ridiculous action that is made daily by a man that is way past his prime and should've been sitting under a tree dreaming dreams of his past conquests. He deserves THAT, at least. I think Americans themselves should re-evaluate the current situation and find out who is and who isn't their enemy.



Start Here....






Please take note that this blog category iiissssss:

So no sour-pusses.

Im late for my nap

The Rolling Stones are going to go on yet another tour in the United States.....Not that many people (That are still alive) are even thinking of going to see them any more But Though I am not going to go? Maybe some of you might want to go for the chance of a lifetime And what might that chance of a lifetime be you might be thinking?
Having the chance to watch either Mick Jagger or Kieth Richards drop dead right there in front of you!!!
Just think now You could go back to your home town and be able to tell everyone you come across that you with your own eyes saw Mick or Kieth drop dead on the stage right there in front of you!!!!

I have always wondered why girls rub their eyes when they wake up.

And now after all these years I finally figured it out and the answer is :

Because they have no balls to scratch..





Smile Sourpuss.

Well this could be true in most cases, but maybe that's why so many men rather run than be laid.

They (educated women?) say that men in general are like floor tiles.

If you lay them right you can spend the rest of your life walking over them.

Stuck in South Park

I don't often bring bad news to my blogs, but today was a terrible day. I went to the store to pick up my new prescription glasses. They were ordered with polycarbonate lenses that are thinner than standard plastic lens and actually produce a clearer view.
Sadly they weren't ready as promised. I'm told those products are only made by the most experienced technician, but he called in sick. The apprentice was asked if he knew how to run the machinery and his answer was YES, but when he leaned over the lens grinding machine, it caught his hand and pulled him in.

The official coroner's report said that 'He had made a spectacle of himself.'

There was this toddler that ran into the kitchen asking his mom the following question: Mummy why do grown ups go to heaven with their legs up in the air?
Mummy: Now that's not entirely true my dear.
Toddler: OH yes it's true Mummy, I just walked past aunty Millys bedroom window and aunt Milly was on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, "oh God I'm coming" but luckily uncle Bill was between her legs holding her down.



Oh it's a Saturday night and I ain't got no money....

When I was at school we had an exchange student from Spain whos name was Joaquin

He pronounced it as whakeem


He had a habit of helping himself to everyone's lunchbox

He became known as
"He came in my lunchbox "

When invited to a party or holiday celebration you should have a snack at least one hour before the arrival time. Many times parties start later than expected and you will be famished and hungry enough to consume enough food for 3 people. Being a little hungry is the best setting so you can control your intake, especially if you hibernate after eating a huge meal on an empty stomach!

Dress appropriately. Formal means formal. Jeans aren't formal. Many settings are casual. Inside parties are different. Wear something nice. unless it's poolside, leave the cutoffs and flip-flops at home. Don't go to a dinner in the same clothes you did gardening in.

Don't talk politics... unless you want to start a feud and have the cops come to break it up!

Happy Thanksgiving!