Comedy Blogs (1,863)

Crooked lying Donald Trump is using his social media (propaganda outlet) to state more falsehoods about justice department rules that don't exist, claiming that “The Very Strict Rules and Regulations of the Department of Injustice STATE CLEARLY that you can’t prosecute a Political Opponent, or anyone, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS/HER CAMPAIGN.”
Oh, I get it. While it's not a rule of the (DOJ) Department of Justice, in Trump's world those rules exist in the (DOI) Department of Injustice.



This isn't political, it's humor.
Link:

The entire world is watching you.



(This blog is about no one else except Dementia Joe. All others will be towed away sooner or later.)

And In a startling revelation, Democratic strategists are sounding the alarm, cautioning voters that if Donald Trump is reelected, he might prioritize closing the border over participating in the much-anticipated World War III.

In other News:

Biden Warns U.S. Constitution Is Likely ‘Russian Disinformation’

Joe Biden seeks to be the first US president to start a world war and a civil war in the same year

Biden federalizes Texas National Guard troops, sends them to defend Ukraine’s border

Biden promises to fix baby formula shortage by sending more weapons to Ukraine

Local Chinese restaurant replaces fortune cookie sayings with Fani’s Daddy’s genius

Could this be true or can qualified doctors evaluating his mental abilities be wrong.
Put the speaker of the house in charge. Its a shame Doctor Jill and the rest of his family did this to sleepy joe and the rest of us.



Lets go brandon

Also, Don't smoke cigars. they are bad for your health and suspected to turn you (men or women) in to a misogynist!

We're past the full moon and the amount of eye scratching (virtual, of course) is at an all time high. Angry comments and name calling. Maybe some of you need to reduce stress as you're all uneasy about the little things in life.
Here's my suggestion: Remember bubble wrap? Remember the satisfaction of popping all the bubbles?
I present to you VIRTUAL BUBBLE WRAP!
So, pop to your hearts content...

Over the years, I've seen lots of different stickers on cars. Not as many "Baby on Board" as years ago. More 'weapons owned' than family member window stickers. 911 was an inside job is a favorite. Political stickers have a long lifespan. They are on some cars long enough for the edges curl from the Florida sun and weather making them age... lots of TRUMP 2020 are still around and a few 'The 2020 election was rigged' stickers exist.
The COEXIST isn't seen very often... nearly as dead as the "If you can read this, you're too close BACK OFF!!"

Entering my community yesterday, was a car with a bumper stick I haven't see before. I followed the car until he parked and asked "Where did you get that bumper sticker?"
The guy said AMAZON.
I said "it's the first time I've seen that one."
We laughed and he said "You probably won't see too many of these in Florida"
I nodded.




A pack of 3 for $10.99

Friend A – conversational bridge – always a competition. Worse, better, always the need to take the trick. Example – idle comment – “I’ve just done (insert neutral topic here) it was okay. Response - I did that once, it was rubbish / fantastic. Long involved details follow. You win.

Friend B - attention span issues. Example – Yesterday I tried adding lime pepper to my pasta and – ooh I saw something on cooking the other day, let me show you, and out comes the phone tap tap tap here see that. Well okay but what I meant was – did I tell you about the shoes I just bought? I took a photo, tap tap tap, look. So I give up but friend is waiting expectantly for the next topic to interrupt . . .

Friend C – the persistent grouch. I walked the dog for over an hour, I’m absolutely knackered. That must be nice. It’s hard for me to walk since the pain started in my foot. Have you seen a doctor about that yet? What’s the point there’s nothing they can do just a waste of time and money doctors are so expensive and all they do is give you the pills the pharma companies want them to promote

Friend D – the partner fixation – what did you think of the (insert situation here) I’ll have to come back to you on that, partner has not yet told me how we feel about that.

I think I need a few new friends, I've used these ones up. But if it's me ...

I think there is a connection between more brain dead people being born and poor quality Chinese made rubbers

After a few weeks of dating, a country girl decides to bring her hillbilly boyfriend home to meet her mother. Mom took one look at the guy and already form an opinion of disapproval. She listen with a 'half-ear' about their future plans to marry.
Hoping to stop the relationship, mom said "Did you tell him about your medical condition?"

The boy's eyes widened and he asked "What medical condition?"
Mom replied "She's got acute angina."
With a sigh of relief, he smiled at mom and said...
"Well, that's a good thing, because her tits ain't nutthin' to brag about!"