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When contacting someone new, I always seem to have difficulty deciding what to write as my opening gambit, especially if in the persons profile there is nothing specific to refer too.

What kind of pick up text attracts your attention sufficiently for you to reply?

During our life journey some people enter our lives and make us feel special.
I was so lucky to have met someone that helped me through moments of my life.
He made my true colours show, making me feel beautiful and showing me all I was worth.
Kind, patient and loving we connected instantly.

We are energies, meshing and flowing, and changing continuously.
We are all in different places in our journeys.

Now he asks me to say "Goodbye" and I won't.
I want to say.
I will never forget you!





This blog is for those we never forget

I'm looking for a nice guy, but they have a preference? Having a long qualification list of what a guy needs to have personality wise, economic wise, looks wise. Every woman, it's God-fearing, but they still have that preference, where in the bible does it state that a man has to look a certain way, for you to build something with that man? Example: Ted Bundy was loved by the ladies, but he was One of the most prolific psychopaths. They gave him trust and undivided attention. They were blinded by his looks and charisma. You would rather spend the rest of your life with an undercover unrighteous mad man, because he's a trophy you can show around, then to be a righteous man, That can treat you in a Respectful and Supportive Manner, together you can build the tower of love. Stop using the scriptures to support your whoredom, Use sex books quotes or R&B singers lyrics as your reference. Honesty, it's the key, I rather have the truth that hurts, then a lie that can lead me into massive confusion. You have this “I don't have to settle for less” mentality “I like what I like “ Mentality. This is why seventy percent of women, have no husbands and are jumping from men to men trying to fill that void. The void is made up of the empty, lonely feelings that stem from holes in our heart and soul. All of you have come to a point where you think there is something lacking in your life and you cannot define it. There are many men out there who have only one goal in mind to find a woman who will complete them. I actually read the introduction of many women here, they all seem to either think alike or they copy each other's information to portray an image. Yes we do have a category of female scammers and men, who make female accounts to scam men, which shows me you have a sodomite spirit. To the women who are looking for a gentleman, keep your head up. You will find him, or he will find you, when you least expected.

Older woman younger man

What makes a woman into a gold digger?

This thought has been on my mind for months now and when I read what Calmheartseek on Kal's ' Weird ' blog wrote, I knew I have to put a blog up regarding this matter.

If I may, Calmheartseek, borrow your comment,

" Isn't it kinda sad how we read on here how some CS members find someone, even blog or post about it, then a little time goes by, and the relationship breaks up or they are back on CS once again."


What I was thinking, say, someone like me who talks nothing but my relationship with Art all the time on the blogs and forums, much to the horror of fellow Csers

You'd hear how, against your wish, how we met, visit each other, get to know each other more and finally one of us decides to join the other in her/his respective country.

We then decide to no longer be active on CS. Well-wishers and congratulations abound.

Now, I also wonder, would it be better if I just slowly sneak right back into the blogs/forums again without telling fellow CSers about my doomed relationship.

OR

Do you think it's better to put a whole blog up announcing my comeback after my failed relationship just to make sure no awkwardness or uncertainty ensued?

OR

Do you think it's nobody business anyhow!






P.S Art and I are not in Troubleland just in case some of you are wondering

Back in may when I created my profile and joined this site, I was unemployed broke and had big dreams. I stated this in my profile and also that I was a single mother who was actively seeking employment. I received many interests and they did keep in contact for a short while.

I remember one software engineer told me outright that I sounded like a scammer and he wanted to know if i would go to the police station to get a police record to ease his mind. Hmmm. i was insulted but got over it. I gave this same person business leads to grow his company. A few others wanted me to soothe their s*xual desires which made me extremely upset. Lmao. I remember being asked to do internet sex or even share and view naked pics of myself and others. One communicated with me for a whole month then started requesting naked snaps. I kept wondering why these men had to stoop to such levels. None were ever interested in providing employment leads or at least provide pointers on how to land the perfect job.

Just a few weeks before I deactivated my profile, I met one who was scheduled to visit Antigua and inquired what I would like him to bring for me. At first, i was shocked and told him nothing. He asked i I was sure and i said a cell phone. At the same time, I was accepted into an MBA Program and awarded a scholarship that would cover 82% of my scholarship. I only had to pay the registration fee and a small deposit. if i didn't pay these by the specified deadline, I would end up losing the scholarship. I asked said gentleman to forget the phone and assist me with paying my tuition deposit as this was more important to me. I was immediately blocked from his whatsapp. I told myself i had nothing to lose in asking for assistance so i did the same for two others. The software engineer called me a scammer and blocked me as well. Another one made the promise to assist but never did, (we still communicate because i don't hold grudges). Another who would always want me to quench his s*xual excite became quiet on skype until i told him my mind and removed myself from his life. Mind you, I wasn't asking for them to send me any money. I provided the school details, my student login credentials and even the student advisors full details so they could verify that I wasn't lying.

My point is this, if i am honest with you about my life and circumstances from the beginning, do not pretend you are interested and then call me a scammer the moment i find myself in a situation that i need assistance. Some women ask for money to pay bill, buy expensive clothes and accessories etc. i am a person who only ask if I am extremely desperate and can't do any better. We tend to use the same yardstick to judge everyone which is wrong.

Why contact someone who is unemployed and broke if you're not serious?
Why all the selfishness; I should satisfy your freakishly s*xual desires for five or ten minutes and then go back to wondering how I am going to solve my problems?

I am grateful that I was able to pay my tuition deposit and land a job within the same week. Now, I can look back at the situation and laugh to myself knowing that it was their loss and not mine.

Never judge someone based on their present situation an their ability to ask for assistance. they are a work in progress and not a failure.

I don’t know what friendship means to you. I also don’t care. If somebody is to be a friend with me, it’s my definition of friendship that matters.

Never had a male friend. All my friends to the date were women.

I had male relatives, school-comrades, dates, lovers, husbands, colleagues, neighbours, acquaintances. Never friends.

When a man on a dating site expresses a wish to be friend with me in the initial message, I regard him as a left-behind in more than one sense of the word.

I’ve read somewhere (could be the Guardian), that forming a friendship takes from 100 to 400 hours of quality time spent together. Let’s do some mathematics and let’s take the minimum as a start.

Hence, we start with 100 hours of quality time. A show at the Opera takes ca 2 hours and we can meet a couple of hours before for dinner: makes 4 hours at a time. 100 / 4 = 25. A year has 52 weeks. I have my friend, whom I meet at least once a month, and I paddle every week-end, if weather allows. Additional hinder: opera and restaurants are quite costly in Sweden. The conclusion I landed at is that it could happen 5 times a year, if I really make a lot of efforts and sacrifices (any reason I’d want to?). Nonetheless, under the most favourable circumstances, It’d take 5 years to fulfill this minimum of 100 quality hours spent together. Chances are, that we might realise after all that time (and money) wasted, that we are not friends. (Quite a discovery, isn’t it?)

There is also a slim chance, that we’d discover that we are friends. Well, good! But a friend isn’t a date. So, my friend, you will not mind when I prefer going to a date instead of meeting you. None of my friends ever minded, so why would you?

A friend means loyalty and obligation of support, that you free-willingly accept because you like the person. Would you, please, explain me why a random male passer-by expects me to grant him loyalty and support on the first notice?



PS this subject was trigged by a Q-Anonist suggesting that he is my friend. Duh!

Wana Kiss

From

It's well known that people say and do things in cyberspace that they wouldn't ordinarily say or do in the face-to-face world. They loosen up, feel more uninhibited, express themselves more openly. Researchers call this the "disinhibition effect." It's a double-edged sword. Sometimes people share very personal things about themselves. They reveal secret emotions, fears, wishes. Or they show unusual acts of kindness and generosity.

On the other hand, the disinhibition effect may not be so benign. Out spills rude language and harsh criticisms, anger, hatred, even threats. Or people explore the dark underworld of the internet, places of pornography and violence, places they would never visit in the real world.

On the benign side, the disinhibition indicates an attempt to understand and explore oneself, to work through problems and find new ways of being. And sometimes, in toxic disinhibition, it is simply a blind catharsis, an acting out of unsavory needs and wishes without any personal growth at all.

What causes this online disinhibition? What is it about cyberspace that loosens the psychological barriers that block the release of these inner feelings and needs? I expand on these ingredients that contribute to the ODE.

You Don't Know Me (dissociative anonymity)
You Can't See Me (invisibility)
See You Later (asynchronicity)
It's All in My Head (solipsistic introjection)
It's Just a Game (dissociative imagination)
We're Equals (minimizing authority)

1. You Don't Know Me (dissociative anonymity)

As the word "anonymous" indicates, you can have no name - at least not your real name. That anonymity works wonders for the disinhibition effect. When people have the opportunity to separate their actions from their real world and identity, they feel less vulnerable about opening up. Whatever they say or do can't be directly linked to the rest of their lives. They don't have to own their behavior by acknowledging it within the full context of who they "really" are. When acting out hostile feelings, the person doesn't have to take responsibility for those actions. In fact, people might even convince themselves that those behaviors "aren't me at all." In psychology this is called "dissociation."

2.You Can't See Me (invisibility)

In many online environments other people cannot see you. You don't have to worry about how you look or sound when you say (type) something. You don't have to worry about how others look or sound when you say something. Seeing a frown, a shaking head, a sigh, a bored expression, and many other subtle and not so subtle signs of disapproval or indifference can slam the breaks on what people are willing to express. In psychoanalysis, the analyst sits behind the patient in order remain a physically ambiguous figure, without revealing any body language or facial expression, so that the patient has free range to discuss whatever he or she wants, without feeling inhibited by how the analyst is physically reacting. In everyday relationships, people sometimes avert their eyes when discussing something personal and emotional. It's easier not to look into the other's face. Text communication offers a built-in opportunity to keep one's eyes averted.

What about the other points? May people dicuss about those here? When we understand the bias of internet on our personality then we will understand us better in the context of our actions on cyber social media. Until that all the feedbacks we get will be misinterpreted and we will develope and grow an alter ego.