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You don’t attract what you want. You attract who you are

The moment you’re happy on your own is when the right relationship enters your life (Myke Macapinlac)

Many people complain about not being able to find a partner, or finding the wrong one, or not being able to hold on to the right one.

Some blame everything on past partners, rather than focusing on improving themselves to a level that makes them good partner material.

Is the answer within ourselves? Do we attract what we deserve?

We had a bad start involving a turned over dustbin. A few days later, while both of us were guests at a barbecue hosted by a mutual friend, we got along well enough to venture onto a dinner date a few days later and we discovered that we have more in common than what we suspected.

We are spending more and more time together and amazingly, we don’t make preset dates anymore. When I want to go somewhere, I simply walk across the road to fetch her and off we go. Likewise, when she wants to do something, she’ll just walk into my place, say so and we do it. Everything happens spontaneously and it is as if we’ve known each other for years, while in fact, it is only a very short time.

Somehow, without even discussing it, we became an item… and all those around us think so too.

The other amazing thing is that, during that barbecue, fairly early on, she mentioned very casually that after her stormy marriage, she will not easily get involved with somebody again and that she needs time and space to get her life back in order. Yet, as we grew closer, not once did she repeat that statement. In fact, I think that I got all the encouragement that a modern and decent woman would allow herself.

With the exception of that ‘horrible’ Yorkshire accent which I sometimes battle to understand (Molly suggested sub-titles ) and her inability to make a decent curry , she is everything I can expect in a woman; she is neat, attractive, sexy, intelligent, affectionate, adaptable, honest, and has many other good virtues. And apart from involving me in her life, she takes an interest in what I’m doing.

She can even bait a fishhook, rack pool balls, and pour a decent brandy. But jokes aside, I could very easily fall in love with her; if I’m not that already but still in denial. But even if I’m not in love with her, I’m very fond of her and I don’t really care what we do, as long as she enjoys it as well.

Yet, the future is unclear. She has to work another two years before she can retire with a decent pension and that is where the uncertainty starts. What will happen then? During our conversation at that first barbecue, she also mentioned that she is considering going back to the UK. Now, that is the one topic that I have avoided since and she did not bring it up either.

I don’t want her to go back but I cannot see my way open to influence her to stay. I feel that she has to make up her own mind; for if things go sour later, as they often do, she’ll tell me that I told her to stay. I know that I should grab the bull by the horns and ask her if she was serious about going back - and I would; if only I knew what to do if she still planned to return to her country.

Do I enjoy it while it lasts or do I take a smaller knock now to avoid a bigger knock later?


For those who don't know how this started, look at this.

give me idea about dating?......................................................................................................

Ok, I have to admit that I lost faith in this site, and in myself too. I hated the fact that I was till miserably unemployed back when I was last on when I expected the guy to be employed irrespectively.

I didn't want to present as a fraud or a person with double standards. I work now, but it is still incredibly unpredictable and spasmodic, and I won't be fully content until I'm working and independent financially. I just truly believe, from experience on dating websites and meeting guys face-to-face, one of the first things a guy asks me is always 'what do you do for a living?' I NEVER ask a guy that, because I don't want to give off the impression that I'm only interested in what a man does for a crust. Definitely double standards in that way.


Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

"Unless you can enjoy yourself you cannot help anyone to enjoy. Unless you are really contented with yourself, you cannot serve others; you cannot help others toward their contentment. Unless you are overflowing with your own bliss you are a danger to society, because a person who sacrifices always becomes a sadist. If your mother goes on talking to you and says that "I have sacrificed myself for you," she will torture you. If the husband goes on saying to the wife that "I am sacrificing," he will be a sadistic torturer. He will torture because sacrifice is just a trick to torture the other.

So those who are always sacrificing are very dangerous - potentially dangerous. Be aware of them, and do not sacrifice. The very word is ugly. Enjoy yourself; be bliss-filled. And when you are overflowing with your own bliss, that bliss will reach to others also. But that is not a sacrifice. No one is obliged to you; no one needs to thank you. Rather, you will feel grateful to others because they have been participating in your bliss. Words like 'sacrifice', 'duty', 'service' are ugly; they are violent. Tantra says that unless you are filled with light, how can you help others to be enlightened?

Be selfish, only then can you be altruistic. Otherwise the whole concept of altruism is nonsense. Be happy; only then can you help others to be happy. If you are sad, unhappy, bitter, you are going to be violent with others and you will create misery for others.

You may become a Mahatma, a so-called great saint; that is not very difficult. But look at your Mahatmas. They are trying in every way to torture everyone who comes to them, but their torturing is very deceptive. They torture you for your own sake; they torture you for your own good. And because they are torturing themselves you cannot say to them, "you are preaching something to us which you are not practicing." They are already practicing it. They are torturing themselves; now they can torture you. And when a torture is for your own good, that is the most dangerous torture: you cannot escape it.

And what is wrong with enjoying yourself? What is wrong in being happy? If there is anything wrong it is always in your unhappiness, because an unhappy person creates ripples of unhappiness all around him. Be happy! And the sex act, the act of love, can be one of the deepest means through which bliss can be attained."

Well, here I am starting over on a new site, although definitely not new to blogging. I must admit starting over with an introduction had me a bit stymied initially and I procrastinated on the dirty deed.

UnFayzed has enticed me into the warm waters of CS blogland, promising not to cannonball me as I tentatively wade into this new pool. Not that I'm some shrinking violet afraid of new adventures - not by a long shot. Nope, I think it's more the time element and I'd much rather be out in nature with my camera than trying to think how to introduce myself.

Who am I? A 65 year old woman in BC, Canada, who's just received her old age pension and is absolutely loving the security that it offers. I also have my own business that keeps me more than busy from May to December. I have a great love for the US, having travelled there not only as a child, but also as an adult. Due to my business, I travel across the border to ship orders twice a week, often taking my bike in the summer time to avail myself of the wonderful rail trails.

I have one adult daughter who lives up north, who I rarely get to see, unfortunately. My mother, at 91, is still very much alive and kicking and I see her fairly frequently. Last year, I purchased my dream home, a 1400 sq ft ranch-style home in a small farming community of about 5,000 people. Although it wasn't a planned move, it was absolutely the best thing I've done. The natural beauty of the area has me out with my camera almost daily.

About a 20 minute drive from my home is a popular resort area with a huge lake, and 4 other lakes in close proximity. As the area is mostly flat, it's superb for biking, one of my favourite pastimes. I love that I can bike to the store or the river, or up to the lakes if I'm ambitious. It affords me the opportunity to follow my passions, cycling and photography. I call it photocycling, as I pack up my photo gear into two panniers on the back of my bike, along with a tripod and cane that becomes a stool, and off I go.

No, I'm not into figuring out how many miles I've gone and that I've got to accomplish x miles for it to be worthwhile. I cycle, see something to photograph, stop and carry on. Sometimes I've gone 40 miles, other times, much less. It all depends on how much time I have or want to spend.

My other passion is art, with watercolour painting being the major one, pen & ink, and graphite following close behind. However, due to my recent foray into photography, I haven't pursued my art. One of these days.....

Oh yes, and writing is the other passion. I love words and always have. I am a member of the Travel Writer's Association of BC, but have to admit that I haven't actively pursued that avenue due to some unforeseen circumstances in the past two years. As those circumstances are now resolved, I anticipate I'll be going on more adventures and writing about them this year.

Now I've dived into this pool and gotten the anticipated chill out of the way, I look forward to swimming with everyone.

_________

How many of you on here have experienced fake profiles in any form ?

Or been led on by a fake ?

Or met a scammer ?

I need to know.

Please tell me how did they act it all out until you found out ?

I did not know time wasters on here.

Maybe there are just some of us who are meant to be single. You can spend years thinking there's someone for everyone but really, I don't think this is logical. Personally, I work so much (literally on call 24/7) to survive that I don't have the luxury of time to go out and meet new people....besides, I don't go far enough from home to meet anyone new really. I have a very demanding job that takes up most of my time....but without it, I could very easily slip into the homeless nothing where I once was and I don't even want to go there. I have the capabilities of doing work that is high in demand with good earnings....is it worth the solitude that surrounds this lifestyle? Well, I consider the alternative and I'd have to say yes. Maybe some day, my match will be just as much of a busy bee as myself and understanding for that reason...and maybe it could work....or maybe this match will be someone with more time who's willing to teach me what it's like to live simply again....who really knows honestly....just a bit of ranting here, been a lot on my mind lately and a lot of thoughts racing. I think a little mini vacation is in order before I burn the candle at both ends.

Sorry, I haven't been around....miss y'all

Well speaking for myself it's boredom. Just the lack of excitement, not necessarily my own but my loved ones. They all esp. Mother would love for me to find love, have a significant other for the Holidays. It's like I'm a weirdo for not bringing men around. I've been married, I've been in love, I've had sex that was unbelievable. People say "Well you're pretty why don't you have someone in your life?" Well damn, I guess I'm on a break. I had love, sex, marriage, kids, ect. Maybe it's more that my soul is seeking. Certainly the right man can only enhance my growth. But those kind of men the universe /God always make us cross paths & recognize within each other something we need/want. Now there is a possibility that kind of connection can be made on here. But from my experience I have never met someone on any dating site that escalated into a relationship. I've made friends, u know pen-pals, texting types but that's it. But I know people that have met their spouse on sites. This is by no means to discourage anyone, I'm bored just wanted to write. And I may just get a friend to play the part of my man for the Holidays, make my family happy. Just because someone is alone does not mean lonely. I read a lot and write it's my passion, that takes lots of alone time. Good luck everyone, after all we get what we call forth. If you want love May God Bless You with it abundantly. If you want sex hope it's safe, wrap it up ya heard ;).

I read a man's profile.... "Not single/Not looking"
In his words: looking for friendships.....never know it could lead to more....

Hm...hm....
In my thoughts, he is looking for friendship, and hoping it could lead to move...... (to a love relation??? ) But why put "not single/not looking??"



Men...please explain to me why certain people do this??