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If my memory serves me right I have been with CS exactly one year today. It had been an eventful year and a lot of things had happened.

Back on the home front life was colorful and interesting; with a few downs and many more ups but today I’d rather talk about the time spent here on CS.

I made some great friends, both male and female. I am not going to single out anybody. It will only offend the friends I am bound to leave off the list accidentally. In addition I also gathered a few enemies. But they were few and most had departed for better things to do.

During the year I posted 180 blogs, 21 polls, 5 articles, 4 tests and 3 poems. In the same period I have deleted approximately 10,800 (unconfirmed ) emails from scammers and if I subtract that number from the views received in total, we are left with more or less 68 real women.

So in all a very productive, if not interesting, year. But most of all, a year in which CS introduced me to the woman I believe I can spend the rest of my life with.


Ps
If the hands of an old fashioned alarm clock are exactly on top of each other; how long does it take for this to happen again?

In this world of technology I often wonder why we feel people are exactly what they say they are, maybe because we crave the illusion of them.

Not saying that a lot of people are not real, I have found over the years of being here, a few of the most real and open people on this site.

It used to be that you physically connected with a person eye to eye, feel their energy and either gravitated towards them or kept your distance.

We portray what we are comfortable with, I am the first to admit that, and then we get scared of the first physical connection, because we imagine that other person expecting a more perfect 'you', then you think you are.

We all have hangups about something we wish was more perfect and tend to hyper focus on that.

The thing is if you feel like that surely the other person has similar fears of their own, nobody is perfect and thank goodness we all have different types that make our hormones sigh and shiver.

We just need to find someone, somewhere that is perfectly imperfect for us, and someone who we don't feel the need to change for, because then you can lose 'you' and became a shell that's empty and lost.

It's just so scary.

Over the past 2 months I've been communicating with a woman on CS,
who is fairly close to me here in New Jersey (USA).

More recently we've talked on the phone a few times and perhaps a friendship is developing.

We were supposed to go out on a date tonight.
But, I just got an email from her stating that she needed to cancel that date.
I said "OK, but why ?"

She said that she "wasn't feeling well and was more than a bit horse".
I said that I hoped she was "feeling better soon".

While she was probably telling the truth,
I couldn't help but wonder,
if perhaps it was just an excuse she made up.
So, I asked her if she was just chickening out.
She reassured me, that she wasn't chicken
and really was more than a bit horse and
would send me an email with a photo to prove it.

When I got the email I could see that she
was truly legit;
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I should have taken my late grandfathers advice when he said that women were made to love; not to understand. Now, with hindsight, it makes perfect sense. After all, there is no logic in love either.

The source of my current confusion is my ex girlfriend. She broke up with me two weeks ago. This did not come as a complete surprise as we saw very little of each other, though we did enjoy each other when we were together. The surprise was more in the timing – she did it one day before her birthday.

Anyway, she phoned me the same evening to hear if I was OK; as if I was going to hang myself in the garage.

Then the next morning she called me to remind me that I promised her a night out on her birthday. Well, we went eating out, had a few drinks at a nearby pub and went home. She stayed for the night.

The confusing part is that while she regularly reminds me that we’re no longer an item, she now spends more time with me than ever before; and she no longer goes to those boring parties. When her friends call, she declines their invitations. She spends her weekends with me, doing the things I want to do. And I now have a key to her place.

Before she broke up she used to sleep over one night a week (normally on a Sunday or a Monday) and we went out Wednesday evenings. Since she broke up (22 November) until now, she only slept at her home three times. And every time she asked me to spend the night at her place. I accepted once.

She has a way to break surprises while I’m still half asleep. This morning she asked me if she can spend her holiday (16 Dec – 6 Jan) here with me. “But you are here in anyway”, I said.

“No”, she replied, “not like that. I mean coming here with a suitcase, as if I’m a thousand miles from home, not going home to change.” She’ll chip in with the food, she added. All this only a few hours since she last reminded me that we’re not an item anymore.

Well, try as I want, I cannot understand her train of thoughts. Maybe if I try not to understand, I eventually will.

You have a wonderful day.

I'm always finding myself stuck in these situations where You know with every being of yourself that the One you're with is bringing you down! I care to deeply to hurt him!I Love to strongly to just walk away! I know I am good for him! He is a better man because of Me! I have given my all to him However, He gives NOTHING back! Everything is so One-Sided with him he talks in circles and drives me crazy!! He can be so mean at times that I actually feel Hate for him! But then, he always manages to sucker me back in! He can make feel like he loves me and he can make me so happy at times that the whole rest of the world just disappears!!! He's everything I want and Love!!! And... He's NOT!!! How can someone be so wonderful and so ugly!! How can someone Love another so much and turn around and be the most hateful and ugly person!!! How can one man make me so happy and so miserable at the same time?? I know he'll NEVER change!! He'll NEVER SEE or know what he does to me!! I swear He builds me up just to tear me down!!
I'm torn, twisted, shattered and most of all Hopeless!! Hope is everything! Without Hope, there's Nothing!!

I'm blogging this because I have no one to confide in! No one to help me make the choice! Is there even a right choice? I don't want or need perfection!! ALL I Want, ALL I NEED is to Matter!! I KNOW my worth! I Know I'm unique!! I'm NOT perfect! But I CARE!!! I LOVE!!! I BELIEVE in treating others the way You want to be treated!!! I want to be treated right!! I don't deserve the crap I take!! And I don't know what to do with it! I do know! However, I battle myself over it..................

I know Him!!! And I don't! I'll defend him and protect him because I believe in him!! Maybe I'm waisting my time, maybe time doesn't matter!
Maybe.... I'm just hopeless!!! Maybe this is my destiny! maybe I'll just be DONE!! I wish I would! I'm so tired of it all!!!

The whole LDR thing seems to fall into different sections - ones where you never meet but have an entire relationship on line, ones where you have long periods apart but occasional meetings, and ones where it ends in coming together.

Of course they can sometimes be heartbreaking because they are utterly unreal, and you never get to understand that the perfect person has as many warts and bumps as the person next door. But the sheer unreality makes them very intoxicating.

Mine broke a lot of barriers I had set up for a long time, and I also learned some valuable lessons.

Have you been in one of the 3? Is there a type I missed? And - overall verdict?

It used to be that women were thought to have endless selections for mates...and all they had was the tough decision on discerning who was the best one to pick. The world has changed.

Now with monogamy becoming a thing of the past...they have the less tough decision of picking the best ONES to pick.

However, that is not what this blog is about. It is about men now being in the same position as women. With men now having endless selections and also choosing the best ONES.

Now, I am not saying that is how I am...or how all women and men are....that they want to be with multiple partners. However what I am saying is, both of their available selections have dramatically increased with social media and the internet.

So...what are some of your deal breakers when looking at photos of men or of women on the internet when determining if you want to move forward and pursue a person as a potential mate or life long partner?

For me: when I see a woman post several pictures of herself in fancy restaurants and in expensive formal dining clothes...my mind automatically concludes that she is high maintenance.

or...

When I see a woman posting a picture of herself shooting a gun....that is an automatic red flag for me. I don't care that she owns and knows how to use a gun...but why post a picture of it thinking it is important for her potential mate to know that?



Those are two main ones for me that I can think of right now. What about you?

The main problem of the internet and with sites like CS is that those do not offer the possibility to have a party between us.
At a party are invited the people who have something in common and have fun together. The other are excluded. Forums, groups or chat rooms should have somehow same functionality. You may join to a group but you cannot exclude the people from it.

In real life, many years ago, in some cases also today, a party is exclusive. I invite a friend, and he invites a friend, and so on. Somehow the people at the party have things in common. That does not means that no conflict may rise, but the probability is lower.

So this function of, we may say, have a party, to create a exclusive chat room, for two hours, (like in the office- a meeting room) where only invited people may enter is missing. This function may force the people to act carefully when posting, trying to make real friends.

People are here because of many reasons. May be people who do not open their heart easy, posting on forums or blogs, nor writing messages to strangers. They need time to open, slowly. So participating to a party, invited by someone one trust, is more productive, than staying hidden and just reading posts. You may communicate with people same to you.

I get a message from a women starting like this : "Why are you on this site when on your profile writes you are in relationship? I want to understand why you cheat your wife?"

My dear friends, life is not black and not white, has a lot of nuances of gray. People cannot judge other people based on the published profile or on the posts. Most people do not post. They expect that someone will send a message. But why should one do this? 50 rows of profile description say nothing about the person. If people do not participate to discussions nobody will know who one really are.
Posting is the first step. Next are private discussion. Perhaps this jump is too much. Perhaps you need some intermediate step ... the party. Exclusive groups/chats where people join based on invitation. This may let people to connect more selective, grouped by affinity. Chatrooms active for two hours, next deleted. Especialy during weekend. This may be more closer to real life. Of course this internet connection does not solve the physical issue. Real physical attraction, which is absolut necessary if you real y want a partner who should share your bedroom.

It was just an idea. I am not sure that will work ... but I have the right to think about it.

I hope you discussed taking away your friendship with her before you decided to just walk away, communication is on the most important things in any relationship wether it a friendship or love affair how can you walk way from this a cockeyed happy optimist when you never allowed things to develop so what about distance so the f*ck what about the cultural differences we are human created by god ,you've been hurt thats not so rare allow her to love and help u heal,so you've lost all trust how can accomplish anything if you don't take that chance STOP worring about being chopped and screwed, you can't be scammed unless u allow yourself to be this one is real and you will regret so lets give our numbers let talk lets get to know each other you and I , take inventory of this woman and her glory leave the bad things behind.
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Guadal
I got you figured out your projecting whats been done to ,you are attracted to wrong kind of women
They hurt you they use you when all you want is love, you are hurt and tired of being done like this so u
Use responsiveness as a repellant gaudal stop doing this go and think hard about what your attracted to and look for the woman who is willing to provide what your looking for and stop looking for looks I guarantee if you if you look for kind sensative loving woman for you if truely look for her you will find her so stop this repulsive behavior and allow us to see the real you I bet the real you is absolutely gorgeous loving kind and worth the love you seek.

how can I control my feelings please???
nowadays I have so much s*xual desires yet am still single,I need yo advice