Last Commented Humor Poems (1,868)

most treasured
golden possession
unfolding my memories
petals holding
feelings with you
my budding rose

as you slowly bloom
in each reflection
a beautiful image
like a mirror
a flash back
in memories

looking upon you
in my mind
a ever
so beautiful memory
growing petal emotions
a rose
with love

Life is just one long joke
We designed and planned it
We laugh in the irony
Of the mistakes made
Of words left unspoken
Words which hurt
should not have been said
And all the strife and pain.
What does the soul think?
Does it laugh with us amid the tears
Perhaps a titter or a smile
There are none in the realms of Bliss.
No meaning in the eternal NOW
Is it all smiles,
never a joke and laughter?

There was a crooked man with a crooked smile, he would walk a crooked mile,just to sing to a crooked cow, that's why the man would always smile , cause he knew that crooked cow would always be a Silly sow .

Intimidated by your beautiful soul
but meet with you I must,
Fearing when your eyes behold me
your love I have to trust,

It's foolish for me to think it
I readily confess,
Your heart, your soul, your body
I yearn so to possess,

So very clear I am unworthy
for claiming such a prize,
So certain it will fulfill me
to gaze into your eyes,

Obsessed, I crave the sensation
when I first touch your skin,
I know you feel soft, like velvet
love glowing from within,

Holding you close within my arms
tightly, safe and secure,
But having to let you go again
I surely can't endure,

My heart grows ever more fearful
time nears for us to meet,
You might be disappointed or
you may become complete,

I just hope our friendship doesn't
suffer from this event,
To bring you joy and happiness
is all I ever meant.

~SAS

I love music
and I love car's
but the rhythm's carry me
far out past the stars

The sounds fill me deeply
deep to my core
I can listen all day
then listen some more

The engine of music
is throbbing with life
To make beautiful music
is to make love to your wife

If I couldn't hear music
I would feel it inside
and my heart would keep beat
and enjoying the ride

I wonder what ingredients a poet chops
Or secret spices for poems to dish out
I looked inside his pot to see if I can spot
Secret recipe, stuffs he mixes for poems that's top

First I saw blank canvasses in sizes, shapes and colours vast
Big and small, dark and bright, narrow and wide, just as right
Jumping all over inside, in colours dark and bright
"Original ideas" inspired by things and events in life

A trigger comes that grabs a poet's mind to squeal
A thing of beauty or a beast that catches and appeals
Velvety feel on skin, aroma that floats like a dream
Or a voice so sweet awakening sleepy spirit deep within

The poet thus begins mixing some potent words
Born from images flashed in his mind's valleys and fiords
Stirred passionately together with sentimental flavours
Folded, baked with emotion; then peppered with truth or flair!


Sir, would you prefer coffee or tea with that? Or just rhymes?

Let me take you
down the Silk Road,
The flyer said..
A slide show ...
A space age experience.

Wipe out the memories
of bygone days?:
The unfortunate
paid the price of a free meal ,
Pending hangover,
Babies crying ,
Sleep desperate,
The upside down,
The chopped heads,
The missing subject,
The double slide,
The jammed viewer.
But Sylvia promises
so much more;
And so ,
With knapsack Moderne,
AND emergency pack..
As daughter called it,
Pecked cheek.
Visions of a muffin sweet ...

Room packed, tension high ..
Only a back row perch ,
But here she is,
all eyes affixed.
Off we go from Kingsford Smith...
But drama unfolds as
Marrakesh and images ,
Two hundred in point two seven ,
Too fast for senior vision,
Flash by.
Hands to mouth,
The dreaded curse;
Bearded Raleighs leap to aid
one disbelieving Sylvian Maid.
But above the din,
A ring steps in,
Of a persistent cell,
Like an angry bell:
This I hate ,
Boo! Philistine! ,
Don't spoil Sylvia's fun,
or mine.
But then my ears perceive ..
Oh no not ME?
As I realise
with pounding heart ,
My muffin rings
but where's it at?
Scramble for pockets this, that.
Rise, turn, bag aboard ,
And head for safety,
The corridor door .
Outside it's pitch,
Please a switch..?
In vain.
Then silence.
I'm in the store!....
For chairs...
Warmed by Rear Sir Walters galore:
No light, no hope, forlorn despair .
Deep breath,
Re-enter the ambient air,
Of the repaired Silk Road;
Faces stern suppressing mirth:
No muffin no show,
Sadly, I go.

DG 2014

In 2015 an American company called Ford will market a vehicle
The parts will be bought from Canada and they will be assembled in Mexico
The stereo and navigation systems will come from Japan
It will be powered by gasoline from The Middle East
And they will market it to middle class caucasians
Thus creating an even greater depression

Helllow:
Dude here..?
Looking for a female with
ruby lips to kiss on my face
in the park..
Must go to the park and visit the big yellow duck..
I like the duck because he i
my friend..
He told me stuff..
He told me woman would come because I am a genius..
One day there was a sunshine in the sky..
There was a bird too but
who cares???????????
I only care on Tuesdays
when I throw up..
Yes, me love you long time..
It's on the clock:

Dear Mama, I have a cat who just gave birth to a litter of five cats. My boyfriend is jealous of all these cats and wants me to get rid of them, or at least have the cat spayed, what should I do?

Mama, Keep the cats and have your boyfriend fixed.