Last Commented Humor Poems (1,868)

Emotions run deep
Black Sheep a writer's red ink
Don't follow the herd

I now wait for the days
You would be in my arms
Look at you intensely and say
Dear I had roses and beef for lunch !



With only us in a tight embrace,
Without fear,doubts or a slight disgrace,
You jabbed me as i felt the pain,
Dear...DID YOU FART AGAIN!!!



With quick reaction I kiss your face,
And from smitten to stricken,
You turned to stone glaze,
And in a moment later Faint !



I carried her towards a Lady
And ask3d her for help
But could not take my eyes off
Her bosom dancing by themselves!



The lady was kissing my baby
She says it was the kiss of life
But here I am feeling h*rny
Ans saw my baby staring like sharpen knives!

Do you smile and wonder..?
Wash the dishes till they shine
Oh how good you'd go with cherries
Oh and maybe some blueberries
and a nice glass of your blood
Oh.. How i thirst for your fruity wine

Cupboard oh i may slam de doors shut
Or nicely open them....

But just for now
Let them midways

Between the two tides

Sane/insane

This hi-tech world's too hard for me,

I text so very horribly!!

It's true I forget to call back-

so phone manners I must lack.

I mean well always please believe.

Salutations -so fun to receive!

In person I would rather speak-

Am told I'm very socially weak,

inept, and mean as well-

but really I am hiding from the

world in my own shell!

I'd rather hug you best of all,

or catch you from a nasty fall.

I drop my phone more than I sneeze.

I actually only want to please.

Sometimes I can't remember things-

Threads are those connecting strings.

And when I miss these lines of talk-

I'm told unnicely Take a Walk !

You're hurt inside and I am too;

Just remember... I love you.

Improve I'll try to pass that test;

But I really think YOU are the BEST!

A pastor in Indiana wrote a small book,
The curious title caused me to take a look.
"I am an Idea", is the name he chose,
He carries pen and card everywhere he goes.

In his little book was some great philosophy,
His vast wisdom has been great help for me.
An idea is a thought within your head.
If not written down, it may soon be dead.

The preachers suggestion was an index card,
To have in your pocket, with a pen is not hard.
That way you're ready when you think a thought,
To write it down so the idea is not forgot.

In order for you to think of the thought,
The one that you unfortunately forgot,
Will require you to use y our mind,
To remember something that was left behind.

The four lines that you just read,
For a long time have been in my head.
Actually the rhyme lines are only by two.
I write them now for something to do.

So here the lines are and I lie not.
"To think a thought that was forgot,
Takes a mind that reads behind".
So for your ideas please be kind.

And write them down, it's not a crime.
One word or two, maybe even a line,
The written words will be there to remind.
Don't let your ideas pass away in your mind.

If you're reading this chances are that
the number 'six' married your aunt Sue
because she fed her third grade homework
to a Cat named X'forty 2..
If you're scratching your back all green and
purple insects in your backyard will run
for congress
Bending your mind around unwashed dishes
will no longer work in the 45th dimension
You must eat marshmallows cultivated on
the planet Saturn, and if you're lucky eight
chickens will prepare you for incubation
What you thought can't think out the thing
that a thankless thank you thought could
think
Consider this.. 223-402-**@Lillytown.com
This is your passport to the fourteen realties
that are stacked behind your back but no one
cared enough to tell you about it..
Therefore..and of course the word 'therefore,'
has just run off with your can of tomato soup
In the 45th dimension you are an 'R.'
Eat well and ride a tree branch to victory!

So many profiles with diverse features...
Some have nice ‘brochures’,
and some are so-called preachers...
Some get in touch like leeches,
soon change their moods like school teachers...

But I have good friends that are miniatures...
They don’t change their features n textures,
and they never commit any breaches,
or they are not greedy vultures...
I can trust them like dogs and bitches...
So, I love my Emoticon-Creatures...
And my thanks to their creators !!

woW !!!

freetraveller
Colombo, Sri lanka
16 May 2010

As I watch you being escorted to our table
I'm no longer able to sit in my chair
I see those other women stare
I don't really care
I'm so excited to see you
I wanna pull my hair
You're the reason I'm here
My you look so Devine
I ordered some red wine
Now I wanna check out your behind
Oh it looks so fine
I wish we had more time
I m gonna make you all mine
Baby I'm gonna take my time
I see you're red
It's okay my love
What a rush I feel
Tell me this is real
As I move in closer
Your scent is like heaven
Tell me do you taste as good as you smell
I'm gonna gently
Nibble on you nice
And Yet very slow
Savor your taste
Mmmmm I think
Im In Love!

I had a new crush
It turned to mush
I'm so glad I didn't rush
For you are a lush
Now I'm left feeling blue
Nothing you said was true
You didn't follow through
I can't tell a lie
You took me for a ride
Even hurt my pride
In the end you couldn't pretend
Last night my phone rang
It was your girl friend
On the other end
I don't think she was looking
To be my friend
When she told me
You lived with she
I laughed so hard
I thought I was gonna pee
For you are nothing
But a wee of a man