Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
online today!When Cupid gets Drunk
The cherubic boy, with arrow, will strike;
Let the grog flow, so the self-obsessed;
May each then reel - and perhaps find delight;
(Then forget the way in which they have transgressed);
With each drink, become as high as a kite;
It's all because a young lad, half-undressed;
Decided to join in the bright festivities;-
(Reflecting badly on cherub proclivities).
The cherubic imp's as invisible as air;
Flutt'ring on pinions, with bow, and with arrow;
When you've thought you've seen him, he isn't there;
Though you may hear his wings swish like a sparrow;
Close to your ear, or to ruffle your hair; -
(No need to read your fortune with tarot); -
Of Venus and Mars, he may have been born; -
But tonight, he's an imp - in modern form.
And his work is so tiring in this nightclub;
The heat, the noise, the crowd, and the music;
Cupid needs refreshment - and here's the rub;
He's not meant to drink, or he'll become sick;
Last time, at a dinner party, he fell into a bathtub;-
After drinking a cocktail, he fell like a brick;-
(Before this, he'd used the drink's swizzle stick;-
As an arrow, to shoot at the cat, the dumb prick!)*
Cupid's developed a taste for the booze;
(He thought it gave his flight extra verve);
Romantic liaisons were now his to choose;
(So long as he flies, and can keep his nerve);
And for this reason the grog he would use;
To keep his arrows true - for them not to swerve;
Though he doesn't fly too well when he's liquored;
And on this night, our Cupid
gets shickered!
For the first few drinks, the boy kept his eye;
Steadfastly on a man across the room;
Through angelic peepers, he did espy;
Subversive conduct going on all too soon;
The man with bad thoughts, well now he did try;
To spike a ladies drink - (the bloody goon);
Cupid shoots an arrow (before he is pissed);
A damn good shot! - It hits the man on the wrist!
This "gentleman", well, he lets out a howl;
The drug meant for her, is now on the floor;
And despite being as pissed as an owl;
He feels pain in his arm, like nothing before;
The girl now sees his hideous scowl;
She gathers her things, then bolts for the door;
Well that's quite nice - a crisis averted;
The boy saves a lady who would have been skirted.
Well, being a boy of very high virtue;
Cupid does not hang around for too long;
He's busy tonight, and there is much to do;
On gossamer wings, powered by angel's song;
He flits 'cross the room, (after stopping this snafu);
But stops on the way - to drink some more grog;
As well as cocktails, the imp likes champagne;
(And sadly for him, again, and again).
Though just as a sylph, and angel in flight;
(The baby-faced cherub is pretty far gone);
He's conscious enough, to now find delight;
In promoting the odd drunken liaison;
(If he knows in the morning, at the first light;
Lasting love will come from reckless passion);-
The cherubic rouge's old, despite his young years;
He sees all the girls, through veils of their tears.
The coquettish boy - (harbinger of doom);
Is out of his mind, and in no fit state;
To do much after this, now that the room;
Is spinning and giddy, and the hour late;
The debauchery, and moral vacuum;
Increases; (and all the more insensate;
Grows the cherubic mind, with each drink taken);-
Well, so I despair!;- poor Cupid's forsaken!
And so, our Cupid's really on a bender;
Now all he has left, is but ersatz love;
Then they all say: "the kid's a pretender";
(With flight no more graceful, like a dove);
He loses his gyros, and thus bends a fender;
When he falls like a stone, from his high perch above;
Now, it's an inverted aspect, for Cupid;-
He's stunned, and c*ck eye'd, and lying there stupid.
© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved
Let the grog flow, so the self-obsessed;
May each then reel - and perhaps find delight;
(Then forget the way in which they have transgressed);
With each drink, become as high as a kite;
It's all because a young lad, half-undressed;
Decided to join in the bright festivities;-
(Reflecting badly on cherub proclivities).
The cherubic imp's as invisible as air;
Flutt'ring on pinions, with bow, and with arrow;
When you've thought you've seen him, he isn't there;
Though you may hear his wings swish like a sparrow;
Close to your ear, or to ruffle your hair; -
(No need to read your fortune with tarot); -
Of Venus and Mars, he may have been born; -
But tonight, he's an imp - in modern form.
And his work is so tiring in this nightclub;
The heat, the noise, the crowd, and the music;
Cupid needs refreshment - and here's the rub;
He's not meant to drink, or he'll become sick;
Last time, at a dinner party, he fell into a bathtub;-
After drinking a cocktail, he fell like a brick;-
(Before this, he'd used the drink's swizzle stick;-
As an arrow, to shoot at the cat, the dumb prick!)*
Cupid's developed a taste for the booze;
(He thought it gave his flight extra verve);
Romantic liaisons were now his to choose;
(So long as he flies, and can keep his nerve);
And for this reason the grog he would use;
To keep his arrows true - for them not to swerve;
Though he doesn't fly too well when he's liquored;
And on this night, our Cupid
gets shickered!
For the first few drinks, the boy kept his eye;
Steadfastly on a man across the room;
Through angelic peepers, he did espy;
Subversive conduct going on all too soon;
The man with bad thoughts, well now he did try;
To spike a ladies drink - (the bloody goon);
Cupid shoots an arrow (before he is pissed);
A damn good shot! - It hits the man on the wrist!
This "gentleman", well, he lets out a howl;
The drug meant for her, is now on the floor;
And despite being as pissed as an owl;
He feels pain in his arm, like nothing before;
The girl now sees his hideous scowl;
She gathers her things, then bolts for the door;
Well that's quite nice - a crisis averted;
The boy saves a lady who would have been skirted.
Well, being a boy of very high virtue;
Cupid does not hang around for too long;
He's busy tonight, and there is much to do;
On gossamer wings, powered by angel's song;
He flits 'cross the room, (after stopping this snafu);
But stops on the way - to drink some more grog;
As well as cocktails, the imp likes champagne;
(And sadly for him, again, and again).
Though just as a sylph, and angel in flight;
(The baby-faced cherub is pretty far gone);
He's conscious enough, to now find delight;
In promoting the odd drunken liaison;
(If he knows in the morning, at the first light;
Lasting love will come from reckless passion);-
The cherubic rouge's old, despite his young years;
He sees all the girls, through veils of their tears.
The coquettish boy - (harbinger of doom);
Is out of his mind, and in no fit state;
To do much after this, now that the room;
Is spinning and giddy, and the hour late;
The debauchery, and moral vacuum;
Increases; (and all the more insensate;
Grows the cherubic mind, with each drink taken);-
Well, so I despair!;- poor Cupid's forsaken!
And so, our Cupid's really on a bender;
Now all he has left, is but ersatz love;
Then they all say: "the kid's a pretender";
(With flight no more graceful, like a dove);
He loses his gyros, and thus bends a fender;
When he falls like a stone, from his high perch above;
Now, it's an inverted aspect, for Cupid;-
He's stunned, and c*ck eye'd, and lying there stupid.
© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2022
About this poem:
* Luckily, he missed!(I had fun writing this)..
CIRCLES OF LIFE
I,m going around in circles in my mind
Reminiscing, I found is blocking the bad
and reliving the fun.
Did i do that? Oh yes i did.
I was so young without fear nor cares.
But time goes forward and taught me
life is not always fair.
Now my circle is nearly complete
I leap over all the bad
to the child i was.
Re-living the dares, yes
a bit of drunkenness too.
I rock in my chair with tears, but of laughter
at the daring reckless girl i was.
I am going back there for sure.
Happy laughing, reckless, no fear.
What a way to start and now end
Opening the door and reliving those times again
Reminiscing, I found is blocking the bad
and reliving the fun.
Did i do that? Oh yes i did.
I was so young without fear nor cares.
But time goes forward and taught me
life is not always fair.
Now my circle is nearly complete
I leap over all the bad
to the child i was.
Re-living the dares, yes
a bit of drunkenness too.
I rock in my chair with tears, but of laughter
at the daring reckless girl i was.
I am going back there for sure.
Happy laughing, reckless, no fear.
What a way to start and now end
Opening the door and reliving those times again
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2022
About this poem:
Remembering cs 12 years ago When Steven Curtess got some of our poems published in a book. All with permission of course. Grand poet he was.
Go Ask Alice
Right through the looking-glass we go,
Perhaps to shrink, perhaps to grow.
To see what's on the other side,
And find what these reflections hide.
A rabbit white with tie, a bow,
Oh where did all the minutes go?
The dormouse fast asleep will be,
When we at last sit down to tea.
Those mocking turtle tears will drip,
Limp mallets will be hard to grip.
The red queen in a rage will cry,
"A crimson coat, or heads will fly!"
With Alice we'll meet friend and foe,
When through that magic pane we flow.
In case of bandersnatch attack,
Our vorple blades will snicker snack.
You know for fun you're overripe,
When Carroll's talking through his pipe.
Perhaps to shrink, perhaps to grow.
To see what's on the other side,
And find what these reflections hide.
A rabbit white with tie, a bow,
Oh where did all the minutes go?
The dormouse fast asleep will be,
When we at last sit down to tea.
Those mocking turtle tears will drip,
Limp mallets will be hard to grip.
The red queen in a rage will cry,
"A crimson coat, or heads will fly!"
With Alice we'll meet friend and foe,
When through that magic pane we flow.
In case of bandersnatch attack,
Our vorple blades will snicker snack.
You know for fun you're overripe,
When Carroll's talking through his pipe.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2010
About this poem:
To Lewis CarrollMy Remembering Ability Is Aging!!!
My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke.
For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!
Often times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score.
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"
Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke.
For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!
Often times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score.
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"
Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Sep 2022
About this poem:
As we age we tend to lose our ability to keep up with some certain things as human not because we are clueless or careless but because nature can't be outrun so its a gift of life we should appreciate as human.
Silly Rhyme
Inside, outside, up-side down,
Which way should I wear my crown?
Turn me over and spin me around;
Leave me dizzy on the ground.
I lost my cat but now she’s found;
It cost 2 pennies and a pound
To get the guy to bring her round.
And now she’s sleeping – safe and sound.
Went for a stroll about the town,
Stopped at a shop and bought a gown.
Earthy colours, yes, green and brown
Adorned it’s surface…joys abound.
At the circus met a clown
Who sat limply, with a frown.
In his hands was tightly wound
A poster pic of Howard the Hound.
He perched himself upon the mound
That Howard the dog would often bound
To show his tricks - the crowds astound.
“But, alas!” He cried, “the pooch did drown”.
Which way should I wear my crown?
Turn me over and spin me around;
Leave me dizzy on the ground.
I lost my cat but now she’s found;
It cost 2 pennies and a pound
To get the guy to bring her round.
And now she’s sleeping – safe and sound.
Went for a stroll about the town,
Stopped at a shop and bought a gown.
Earthy colours, yes, green and brown
Adorned it’s surface…joys abound.
At the circus met a clown
Who sat limply, with a frown.
In his hands was tightly wound
A poster pic of Howard the Hound.
He perched himself upon the mound
That Howard the dog would often bound
To show his tricks - the crowds astound.
“But, alas!” He cried, “the pooch did drown”.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2022
About this poem:
Just having fun with rhymes....online today!Some Things Rhyme With Orange!
She flew her glider off the Blorenge*
For she had a bird-like skill;-
And the flimsy craft was orange;-
('Twas launched from that mighty hill).
It took a long walk to arrange;-
This courageous act of will;-
To first mount this rill (or range);-
(The braveness does impress me still).
Her name was Angela (or 'Ange');-
She lived down by the old stone mill;-
Her surname could be "Gorringe"?**
Yes, I think that fits the bill!
© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved
For she had a bird-like skill;-
And the flimsy craft was orange;-
('Twas launched from that mighty hill).
It took a long walk to arrange;-
This courageous act of will;-
To first mount this rill (or range);-
(The braveness does impress me still).
Her name was Angela (or 'Ange');-
She lived down by the old stone mill;-
Her surname could be "Gorringe"?**
Yes, I think that fits the bill!
© lovecanbereal
All rights reserved
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2022
About this poem:
* A hill near Abergavenny (in Wales), popular with hang gliders** An English surname....note: any resemblance, to any person (living or dead), is purely coincidental
*** (Naturally this poem contains some assonance)...
Poet"s corner
There is me... and only me...
In this world of poetry,
In the crystal fairy tale of life
I am the brightest star.
The ground is slipping from under my feet
The stars are spinning in time with the breath ...
The stream of my words is flowing,
Massaging my inflated ego .
My soul is flying with delight
In the clouds.
Unplayed love motive
Gives birth to my poems...
Ah ,I love myself so much
Always –
There are no other important words
For now ...
Like a mosaic of feelings
Through the years
I will write down my name in the dawns
In this world of poetry,
In the crystal fairy tale of life
I am the brightest star.
The ground is slipping from under my feet
The stars are spinning in time with the breath ...
The stream of my words is flowing,
Massaging my inflated ego .
My soul is flying with delight
In the clouds.
Unplayed love motive
Gives birth to my poems...
Ah ,I love myself so much
Always –
There are no other important words
For now ...
Like a mosaic of feelings
Through the years
I will write down my name in the dawns
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2022
About this poem:
It concerns our poet"s corner-The way I see some poets on our Poet"s corner .. I tried to write with humor and a little bit of irony))) sometimes it's just getting very funny ..
online today!my life's essentials
my life's essentials
I breathe, eat, drink and I poop
how miraculous!
I breathe, eat, drink and I poop
how miraculous!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2022
About this poem:
senryu
Animal jokes
A pony went to see the doctor because it couldn’t speak.
“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"
“I know what’s wrong,” said the doctor. “You’re a little horse.”
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
One day a duck walks in a store and ask the manager if they sell grapes. The manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes." The duck goes home and comes back the next day and asks the same question. The manager says the same thing again, "No, we do not sell grapes." The duck goes home, comes back the next day, and asks the manager if they sell grapes. This time the manager says, "No, we don't sell grapes! If you ask one more time, I will nail your beak to the floor!" The duck goes home. It comes back the next day and asks the manager if he has any nails. The manager says, "No, I don't have any nails." The duck says, "Okay, good. Do you sell grapes?"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jun 2022
About this poem:
Brighten your day
It's time for you to show
Dont do to others
what they done to you...
coz you will hurt another
And it comes Back to you!
Noone says it is easy,
but with a heart like yours,
it is not so hard either.
Be wiser ,not foolish ,
Be forgiving ,not Selfish,
Your talent is your gift,
Now is time to give others a lift.
Forgive and let it go,
It is time for you to spread your wings and show.
If we lived by this poem,
Mcradloff thinks this world will be at peace!
After reading this poem paloma agrees,
And says it is sound advise to me.
Odette from england is all smiles with compassion.
Because We all must learn to let go and forgive,
Jena find her freedom her love,
All silver pink purple wings and fly away.
what they done to you...
coz you will hurt another
And it comes Back to you!
Noone says it is easy,
but with a heart like yours,
it is not so hard either.
Be wiser ,not foolish ,
Be forgiving ,not Selfish,
Your talent is your gift,
Now is time to give others a lift.
Forgive and let it go,
It is time for you to spread your wings and show.
If we lived by this poem,
Mcradloff thinks this world will be at peace!
After reading this poem paloma agrees,
And says it is sound advise to me.
Odette from england is all smiles with compassion.
Because We all must learn to let go and forgive,
Jena find her freedom her love,
All silver pink purple wings and fly away.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2012
About this poem:
This goes out to Lori ,my high Noon poker partner ...by the way you're Wanted...500 jeans RewardAnd also to my fans ..extended version!
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