Last Commented Humor Poems (1,868)

I always felt the lust flowing thru my veins

Talking in my head sometimes driving me insane

It's the power of the road that seems to take hold

It's the wandering bug flowing out of control

I've tried to settle down but found it so hard

Never worrying about what laid ahead for me

Older now with open vision the past is all I see

I've been called a woman of class every entrance a debutante

Been called a hell raiser the devil would fight not to set free

I've long since stopped caring what people had to say

Found it better to live life my own way

My life has been just one big oxymoron stroll

But thru it all I have managed to keep my heart out of the cold

Broken tattered barely beating still....fighting to continue its will.....

Never been my intent to cast harm upon life

But sadly sometimes I was a double edged knife

Never been one to lay with many men

Kept them at a distance made them my friend

So don't mistake my wildness to mean that I am loose

For if you do life will give you a swift kick in your caboose

Passionate Kitty
She Gave Me A Quickie >
And A Hickey
Very Tricky
And Sticky
Weeeeeee >
He He He ....
Love Angel

If I were you
I would probably cry a lot
Because of the pain in the world
And the wickedness of men.
I would whisper quietly
You are mine

If I were you
I would surrender to happiness
Tearing apart the stereotype
I would joke and laugh
In the heat and rain
Repeating every day
You are mine

If I were you,
I would write a poem
To give beauty
To those who are blind
I would be sure you can hear me.
because you are mine ...

If I were you
I would visit all the countries in the world
To send you photos of the mountains, seas and oceans
And the surf would whisper affectionately
You are mine

If I were you,
I would become friends with me
And inspired by fantasies
I would appear at your life’s end page
As an epilogue
Whispering you are mine

If I were ... Wait!
Tell me
Who are you?
Inspire me with your destiny and
Your soft song of notes
Do not be afraid, just be yourself!
Then I would become ... yours

A rabbits nose is shiny,
But that it cannot mend,
Because it’s little powder puff,
Is round the other end.

Also......


Little birdie flying high,
Dropped a message from the sky,
Farmer said as he wiped his eye,
It’s a damn good job my cows can’t fly


Best wishes. Jacci

turkey dinner roasted feathers
bbq pigs at a weiner roast
captain morgan made me take a P
I didn't know she was under me
taking flight under fire
diving in the ocean
putting out my desires
feeling pressure
with a snake around my leg
splashing arms I'm going down
being pulled to the shore
got a headache gonna lay down
woke up when the sun went down
pounding head stumbling
to a bathroom
captain morgan
making me take a P
you were told
not to play with a hose
in the kid's pool
it wasn't
me who did it see
it was
captain morgan
who did this to me

Well I took a heavy spill
and I royally broke
a part of my head
I wrote off my motorcycle
and I spent three months
in a bed

well she was gonna be my bike
I was gonna be her man
but a truck got between us
and it quickly put an end to my plan

oh Honda you look so fine
you got less torque
but I don't wanna die
so help me honda
help me get her outta my mind..

help me honda
help help me honda
help me honda
help help me honda
help me honda
help help me honda

Help me honda.. yah
get her outta my heart

Days upon days the rain lashed down
Drowning my beautiful flowers crowns

The grasses have grown knee high
Seemingly trying to reach the sky's

Knowingly stepping out
I will feel the rains clout

The birds are hiding in the trees
Me, walking in puddles up to my knees

What more can I say
Will I be washed away?

Nope I have a big tin tray at the ready
And a paddle to keep me steady

An adventure, or pain in the ash
Splashing down again, sorry must dash

OH NO! the tray and paddle have gone astray
Down the street I see them sway

Wait! I yell you've set off too soon
I laugh now the rain is in a swoon

Well now to end my tale
I've bought a boat with a sail

Spring is here
Spring is here
Life is skittles and life is fear
I think the loveliest time of year
Is the spring
I do
Don't you?
Of course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me
All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon
When were poisoning pigions in the park
Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me
While were poisoning pigions in the park
We'll murder them all in laughter and merriment
Except for the few we'll take home to experiment
The sun shining bright
Everything seems alright
While we're poisoning pigions in the park
We've gained notirity
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon society with our games
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigion
So if Sunday you're free why do you come with me
And poison some pigions in the park
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning pigions in the park

I heard the rattle in my throat
That distinctive sound
Of gargling with shotgun pellets
Aunt Mavis knew what it meant
She had heard it all before
Forty years in the chicken factory
Had taught her a thing or two

But I didn’t bother to pass
Best that I just ignore it
Pearly gates never did anything for me
That’s the trouble with Atheism
You are just stuck in the middle
Looking up or down
But nowhere really to go

The milkman once said to me
Son, always be prepared
For what lies on the other side
I wasn’t sure what he meant
So I crossed the busy road
Still holding the four leaf clover
I had stolen from the dead man's hand
And clutching the St Christopher
Aunt Mavis swore would keep me safe
Forty years in the chicken factory
Had taught her a thing or two

They was advertised at the store
Death rattles for sale
Buy one, get one free
Why would you ever want two?
When one would always be
Much more than sufficient
Still, better to be safe than sorry

It had me hooked its fair to say
No matter how tired, I was game to play

Blisters on my fingers and palms
Still I toiled without any qualms

The rewards you see were plenty
Sitting at times reading quietly

First weeks the shoots appeared
Then birds flew in as I'd feared

I had planted enough for them and me
My crops were pollinated by the bees

The birds swooped in, creating a din
Fighting, pecking each other, twas a sin


The greed I had never seen before
They were so full they couldn't fly anymore

But I'd put a net over my crop
The birds were full of seeds I'd dropped

I'd won for now and await the growth
The birds can have some there's enough for both