Here is a list of Humor Poems ordered by Last Commented, posted by members. Read poetry, post your own poems or comments. Poems on these pages are copyrighted © by the authors who entered them. Click here to post a poem.
WHAT?
Did you know that George (in some reality show) lost his watch in the snow?, Did you know that Stan was not really a man?, No? . neither did I,., but SHE did,,, ..........................................................OMG OMG, where do you live?, Do you even know that show?,
Well I just cant,,, I cant ,,,OMG OMG OMG, I cant believe you dont know, LOL, BTW,I REALLY need a new Iphone by 2nite, BC THIS phone is sooooooo old,, I know it works perfectly,,, but OMG, it is sooooooooooooo old, the new iphone is only ten gizellion million,,, FWIW, I half cleaned my room last month, and ICYMI I even took some of my own trash out!,,, well TGIF , and, TBH and TBF, well right now, I just want to TTYL, OK?
Hemmm,,, yep,, OK?????????????????????????
Well I just cant,,, I cant ,,,OMG OMG OMG, I cant believe you dont know, LOL, BTW,I REALLY need a new Iphone by 2nite, BC THIS phone is sooooooo old,, I know it works perfectly,,, but OMG, it is sooooooooooooo old, the new iphone is only ten gizellion million,,, FWIW, I half cleaned my room last month, and ICYMI I even took some of my own trash out!,,, well TGIF , and, TBH and TBF, well right now, I just want to TTYL, OK?
Hemmm,,, yep,, OK?????????????????????????
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post Comment
Phonaesthetically speaking
Phonaesthetically speaking its like 123
Like William once told us, its like A B C
So write your mystical thoughts
And clever words that rhyme
But make sure Iambic Pentameter
Doesn't go sadly out of time, again, ooops!
Like William once told us, its like A B C
So write your mystical thoughts
And clever words that rhyme
But make sure Iambic Pentameter
Doesn't go sadly out of time, again, ooops!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post CommentRomantic or what?
I could see the raindrops falling, and the comet in the sky, but there was a vision that enthralled from the corner of my eye, and I wondered was I dreaming and I wondered
how this could be, because I have no peripheral vision, and I cant bloody see, twas just a light shining reflected in a glass, twas the comets shining light as it took its time to pass.
how this could be, because I have no peripheral vision, and I cant bloody see, twas just a light shining reflected in a glass, twas the comets shining light as it took its time to pass.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post CommentTime to sleep
Sitting here looking at my glasses, I've noticed they make my eyes blurry, the more I use them the less I can see, I wonder, how can this be? Is it my age?, or my demenour?, when my woman comes in I cant even see her! I think I should clean them, if only I could, then I would, but the stems are too long and I'm outta time, I've consumed all of my wine!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post Comment
Contains Quinine
Quaffing tonic water
pleasant kind of sour
quells the muscle spasms
in the midnight hour
..well my Mum swears by it and she's 84
worked for me last night..
hold up I'm here for a poem:
Letter to Castro
24 February 1962
Dear Comandante
Death to the imperialists
death to all capitalist counter revolutionaries
death to the gringos
and their failed attempt on your shores
trust not Khrushchev
may you continue to be
hung like a horse
in your green fatigues
and carry the beard
of the mercenary
may the sisters
continue to fall for you
may sugar rise
send more cigars
Viva la revolución
Che
pleasant kind of sour
quells the muscle spasms
in the midnight hour
..well my Mum swears by it and she's 84
worked for me last night..
hold up I'm here for a poem:
Letter to Castro
24 February 1962
Dear Comandante
Death to the imperialists
death to all capitalist counter revolutionaries
death to the gringos
and their failed attempt on your shores
trust not Khrushchev
may you continue to be
hung like a horse
in your green fatigues
and carry the beard
of the mercenary
may the sisters
continue to fall for you
may sugar rise
send more cigars
Viva la revolución
Che
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
About this poem:
Tonic water and Cuba
The viral blues
A jazz band
Playing via Zoom
Through the fog of fever
In the room
A sneezing guitar
An anosmic saxophone
A trembling bass
A confused piano
A hickuping trumpet
A coughing drum
And a hoarse-voiced singer
All wishing
A Happy New 2022 Year
And for Covid
To disappear
Playing via Zoom
Through the fog of fever
In the room
A sneezing guitar
An anosmic saxophone
A trembling bass
A confused piano
A hickuping trumpet
A coughing drum
And a hoarse-voiced singer
All wishing
A Happy New 2022 Year
And for Covid
To disappear
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
About this poem:
Happy New 2022 to us!
WORDPLAY
If from sleep
I awaken
I'm alive
If I never wake up again
I'm dead - which however
I cannot experience
I think this is unfair
and to offer Death
its fair share of existence
I now rename ‘Life’
‘Death’
At last I can enjoy
the 'un-happenable'
(I often wondered
what it would be like!)
I awaken
I'm alive
If I never wake up again
I'm dead - which however
I cannot experience
I think this is unfair
and to offer Death
its fair share of existence
I now rename ‘Life’
‘Death’
At last I can enjoy
the 'un-happenable'
(I often wondered
what it would be like!)
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post CommentAll we need is love)))
Do you want me to give you my love?
Yes. Give it to me...
First I would like to ask ...
Any question.
Suppose I knock on your door
I'll let you in.
And if I will cheat on you?
I will forgive .
And if I tell you: die! ..
I will die.
And if there will be a pain?
I will accept it
And if there appears a wall between us?
I will break it.
Still want me to give you my love?
Yes, give it to me
This will never happen!
Why?!
Because I do not need a slave))))
Yes. Give it to me...
First I would like to ask ...
Any question.
Suppose I knock on your door
I'll let you in.
And if I will cheat on you?
I will forgive .
And if I tell you: die! ..
I will die.
And if there will be a pain?
I will accept it
And if there appears a wall between us?
I will break it.
Still want me to give you my love?
Yes, give it to me
This will never happen!
Why?!
Because I do not need a slave))))
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Dec 2021
About this poem:
Just wanted to wish Happy 2022 to all our poets! stay safe, healthy, loving and loved ones))THE SECOND THOUGHT
What is more boring than dying?
It’s a terrible waste of time:
lying there twiddling my eyebrows
or dreaming up words that might rhyme.
Why don’t I chant a ‘te deum’
or swear repenting remorse
or scream for succour or sanctum
or plead for a stay of sentence?
Perhaps the postman’s at the door
or my dead wife came back again
or once more it’s the brink of war
or women have turned into men.
It’s a BORE. I don’t even care
if I’ve seen my very last dawn!
WAIT: a decisive idea !!!
I'll get up and yawn my head off!
It’s a terrible waste of time:
lying there twiddling my eyebrows
or dreaming up words that might rhyme.
Why don’t I chant a ‘te deum’
or swear repenting remorse
or scream for succour or sanctum
or plead for a stay of sentence?
Perhaps the postman’s at the door
or my dead wife came back again
or once more it’s the brink of war
or women have turned into men.
It’s a BORE. I don’t even care
if I’ve seen my very last dawn!
WAIT: a decisive idea !!!
I'll get up and yawn my head off!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post CommentTHE PERSIAN PETARD
In a Tehran hotel I asked for a room
“a small one if possible please”
A young man with keys escorted me up
a couple of flights selected a door and went in
He told me the price and concealing my shock
I decided on saving my face
by requesting ‘a smaller one still’
Off we went up and selected another
He ushered me in and asked me if this one would do
I said that it would and holding my breath
I asked him the price
“The same as the other” he pleasantly said
I swallowed my pride laboriously squeezing out the words
“and cheaper?” to which he replied “Certainly: this one, sir.”
Later viewing all from my lofty vista I reflected on
'the humiliation of the hoisted’.
“a small one if possible please”
A young man with keys escorted me up
a couple of flights selected a door and went in
He told me the price and concealing my shock
I decided on saving my face
by requesting ‘a smaller one still’
Off we went up and selected another
He ushered me in and asked me if this one would do
I said that it would and holding my breath
I asked him the price
“The same as the other” he pleasantly said
I swallowed my pride laboriously squeezing out the words
“and cheaper?” to which he replied “Certainly: this one, sir.”
Later viewing all from my lofty vista I reflected on
'the humiliation of the hoisted’.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2022
Post CommentPoems entered on these pages are copyrighted by the authors who entered them. They cannot be reproduced without the author's written consent. © Copyright 2001-2024. All rights reserved.
This is a list of poems submitted by CS members. Click 'Details' tab to see all poems, or click on a poem title to view and comment on individual poems. Click headings to sort by comments or views.
Would YOU like to post a poem in the Poet's Corner? Have you written poetry that you'd like to share with other members? Posting your poetry shows your skill and creativity and helps members get to know you better. Your poem will appear on the Connecting Singles Poetry page and also in a link on your profile page.
Click here to publish your poetry »