mcradloff Poetry (529)

Bye bye Bernie
Bye bye happiness
Hello lonliness
I feel I'm gonna cry
With all our hope goodbye
There goes my health care
There goes my free college tuition
There goes my 15 dollars an hour
There goes my voice
It will be replaced by a laughing witch and a rapist
Bye bye Bernie
Bye bye happiness
Hello lonliness
I think I'm gonna cry
With all my hope goodbye
And here's the reason I'm not free
Those bought off politicians stole it all from me

I started it on Monday
A blue layer of jello
Tuesday was red jello
Wednesday was green jello
And Thursday was yellow jello
So I took the knife and carved around the mold
The mold was of the 48 states
It came out in a nice piece
I ate California, Oregon, Washington
Also parts of Arizona, Nevada, Montana, and Idaho
I'll eat my way east
Till I eat the eastern states
Like Florida and Virginia
So many yummy states to eat
And made better with some cool whip!

Boy the way Lady Gaga played
Songs that made the hit parade
Guys like us we had it made
These are the days
And you knew where you were then
Girl were girls and so were men
Mister we could use a man like Barack Obama again
Really love this welfare state
Never have to pull my weight
Gee our old Cavalier ran great
These are the days!

Tagging is what I do
I got a can a spray paint just for you
I want to make my mark everywhere I go
You say vandalism, I say so!
I got tattoos all over my skin
I want everyone to know I always win!
It's on the library in your city
It's on the train cars you don't pity
It's on the bathroom stall
It's on the buildings by the mall
I have one that was never painted over
It won't be washed off
You'd have a better chance of finding a four leaf clover
It's kind of like my long hair
Where you see graffiti
You find people who no longer care

I will build a wall!
That what I heard Trump say even before last fall
The Mexicans will pay for it
Then you won't have to work jobs you want to quit
Because all the good jobs are taken away
By aliens who get all the pay
They ship them in too from many other places
I hate all this using on the races
They use this political correct crap to shame us
While they are picking our pocket while we cuss
We are tired of all the college graduates who can't find work
We are being treated like a jerk
High taxes and low wages are the norm
No wonder we find it hard to feel warm
Our future is being stolen away
Hope for a brighter day
So Trump will build a wall
How long will it take them to climb over it while they fall
On the other side and still do the same
Taking jobs away
Who is to blame?

Roe vs Wade made abortion legal in the USA
What can I say?
Well I have to say it is wrong
To kill a baby because you don't want it to belong
If you don't want the responsibility that comes with romance
It's quite simple: keep it in your pants!
You may say, easy for you to do
Nobody wants to have sex with you
All I can do is give my opinion in what I believe
If you want to have unprotected sex then you just may conceive
A baby that will take a lot of your time
And certainly it will cost many a dime
So instead of abortion, here's another option
You can always choose adoption

Can I borrow some money?
I will pay it right back
Just right now I lack
The funds to pay my bills
Seems I spent too much money on too many thrills
I ate out every meal
I smoked a pack a day
I forgot to save for a rainy day
You see I believe in living in the here and now
The past and future, I don't know how
You can worry about such things and take away from the fun
Of living in the moment and life on the run
So it seems I'm in a pickle
I don't even have a nickel
So please don't think it's a crime
If I borrow a dime
Or more because of the wisdom I lack
And don't be surprised if I don't pay it right back
So call if you want cause it's no use
I will just make up an excuse

If you have a lot of luck
For just two bucks
You can win over a billion dollars
You will win and holler
Goodbye crappy job!
Hello steak and lobster!
I think I'll buy a porche or some other expensive car
I'll fly to vacation spots near and far
I'll shop till I drop for crap I don't even need
I'll feed and feed and feed
I will never again be in need
I can afford to see a dentist or a doc
My doors I won't have to lock
Cause if they steal all my stuff
I know I can go back to the bank where I have more than enough
I will finally be happy all the time
Not having to wait till after I have been given my dime
Free at last, free at last, I will truly finally be free at last!

They blame it all on Hitler
They watched with joy when then got her
And him
Seems the people like those who are dim
They shoot the bullets
They gave them haircuts worse than mullets
Hey everybody! They're shooting them in the square!
As long as it ain't me who loses his hair
Then after it was all revealed
The guilty started to squeal
We didn't know it was going on
Innocent people killed like Ron, Don, and John
The ironic thing is they were liberated by Russians from camps
While Russian had their own camps
24 million Russians are dead
10 million killed by Nazi Death Heads
The US of A was the good guy
Even good ol England gave being the good guy a try
For awhile at least
We were not the beast

Another year in the can
What did I do to prove I'm a man?
I golfed every course
Eating at many different places because I love food of course
I bought three Mama's Family on DVD
I bought a new record player for me
I made the most money I ever made in a year
I couldn't find any new music I love to hear
I did buy Piano in the Dark by Brenda Russell
I also got Make it Real by The Jets, cause they know how to hustle
I went to a Packer game
105 bucks a ticket? That part was lame!
I went to a wedding of a friend
I choked singing "The Girl Is Mine", more courage is what I need
I saw Star Wars and Mockingjay
They were both good, I don't want to give anything away
I hope 2016 is good for you and me
Who knows what new fun things you and I will see

Scrooged When the ghost of Christmas present kicks Kross in the groin.

Home Alone When the pizza delivery driver thinks he's actually talking to a madman who is shooting him.

Home Alone 2 When Buzz is making fun of Kevin with the candles behind his ears.

Fred Claus When Fred is panhandling by dressing up as a fake Santa and gets busted by the Salvation Army Santas.

Four Christmases When Vince Vaughn is acting like Joseph at the church.

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas When the Grinch is checking his outgoing message on his answering machine.

Beavis and Butthead When the ghost of Christmas future shows Beavis his tombstone and it says "Here Lies Beavis, He Never Scored."

The Santa Clause When Santa(Tim Allen) is told by the little girl to drink the milk and he says he's lactose intolerant.

A Christmas Story When Ralphie loses it and beats up the bully and goes on a swearing tirade.

Night of the Meek(Twilight Zone) When the store manager asks for Santa to give him Brandy, vintage 1903, and Santa gives it to him out of his majic sack.

I sure hope Santa doesn't fall off a roof
Or get stuck in the chimney
Or get bitten by a guard dog
Or shot by someone who thinks Santa is a burglar
I sure do miss the snow
It's that global warming that we did nothing about
We'll be lucky if the oceans aren't boiling in a few years
It's going to be another version of Venus ya know
And what about all those presents bought on credit
Especially the ones bought with money borrowed from quick loans
Those loans charge over 500 percent interest
So you'll be lucky if you can pay off the loans before next Christmas
And what about all the poor workers who have to make those presents
They work 15 hour days for about a buck with no overtime pay
Working in cruel conditions seven days a week
The only day they get off is Christmas
And they still live in poverty
And what about all those relatives that drive you crazy
The ones you only see at Thanksgiving and Christmas
That fake insincerity really rubs me raw!
I can't wait for December 26 so I can be done with it all
Till next year that is!