Self-Improvement Blogs (525)

I've learned a lot from my horse over the years. He taught me to be patient and to learn 'his' language in communicating with him. And he's taught me how to take responsibility for my actions. That whatever reaction I get from him is a direct result and consequence of my actions.

I learned that in riding him, he was more than willing to accommodate what I wanted, as long as I was clear with it, patient and kind. When I first got him, I spent a lot of time with him on ground manners, teaching him to respect my space while we formed an unbreakable bond of trust.
After creating this bond of trust and I was riding him, I learned how to communicate with him with my body and hands. I learned that I could just think walk, trot, canter or halt, and he would do it. I learned he could feel whatever mood I was feeling.

One time, after learning a new training method, I tried it on him. He pinned his ears at me, indicating he was not happy. I was told to continue on with him, even though my gut instinct told me not to. He reared and struck out at me, striking a glancing blow on my thigh with his front hoof. I received just a slight bruise, but I learned that no one likes to be bullied, and he was no exception.

Another time, I was frustrated at something. I can't remember whether it was him or me, but I took the crop to him several times. He stood stock still for a moment, as if in shock. He then took off like a bat out of hell at a full tilt gallop, completely out of my control. I learned to control my temper and not to take my own issues and lack of communication out on him.

I used to ride him every day through the equestrian park, 8 miles around. I've fallen off of him numerous times in that park. Involuntary Dismounts. So many times that I thought that dirt was one of the four food groups. Sometimes it was from something that spooked him. Although chunky, he was quick. And you never had any warning of what he would do.

With the thoroughbreds, they always let us know when there was something that they were afraid of and what they were going to do. With Nick, not so much. You could be riding along without a care in the world, and he would all of a sudden drop his right shoulder, throwing you off balance, and then spin to the left. Hellooooo ground. Involuntary Dismount.

I never got mad at him for that, and he never ran away from me. He'd always stop and look at me as if to say, what are you doing down there? And I always realized that there had been something that had frightened him, that I hadn't noticed.

One time, out at a cross country field, my back was really tight, and I kept spurring him to move on. With my back tight, it tightened his back, and it was almost impossible for him to move. Finally he got pissed off and bucked. Hard. I was ten feet in the air before I landed on hardpan. Ouch. I looked like I'd been in a car accident I was so badly bruised. Involuntary Dismount.

But, I knew it wasn't his fault for my own lack of riding skills and fear. I learned to master the fear, and relax my body to go with his movement, so that he could move.

I learned how to stay centred on him by sitting up straight and using my seat to urge him forward, along with squeezing my legs instead of leaning forward and kicking my heels. I learned to tell myself that I was a good rider and that I was going to have a great ride and focus on how I wanted that ride to go. It's common knowledge in riding that wherever you put your focus, is wherever you'll land. If you're afraid, so will your horse be. Thus, I learned to overcome my fears by facing them.

Isn't that just like life?

What is a human being? The online dictionary defines it as the fact of existing or conscious mortal existence. Hmm... do animals have conscious mortal existence?

If all it means is existence, then why do we seek meaning to our lives? If conscious mortal existence means only that we're conscious of our mortality, then why do we seek the answers to our existence? If we are meant simply to exist, then shouldn't however we exist be enough? What would it matter if we felt happy, sad, glad, angry, fearful, joy, frustration, etc., if we were meant to merely exist.

What would our lives be without feelings? Our lives would be an existence. It's our thoughts that determine whatever feelings we have about anything. We have thousands of thoughts every day, most of which don't even register because we don't assign any feelings to them. But it's how we feel about something/anything that determines how we act/react. Without feelings we would truly only exist.

In my opinion, it's that consciousness of feeling that gives us our humanity. And the more conscious and aware of how we are part and parcel of the entire universe, the more compassionate and the more empathetic we become. The more love we feel, the more love we have/need to share.

Every single person is made with blood, bones, muscle, etc, and it takes the same kind of energy for their hearts to beat, as it does ours. Peel off the skin, and you have the same kinds of cells that it takes to make ourselves as it does every other person.

It takes food to nourish them, and water to hydrate them, just like us. They hurt, cry, laugh, and love, just like we do. They need food, shelter, clothing and fresh water, just like we do. And they want more than to just exist, just like we do. They want to be loved and be happy, just like we do.

We're not defined as human buyings, conscious only of making more money than our neighbors, and buying more. We're not defined as human doings - being busy doing things to avoid feeling too much, or afraid that we won't feel enough.

We are defined as human beings. And a mother across the world is no less a human being than any mother here. A family is still a family. They rejoice at births and grieve at deaths and losses, just like we do. And that's what makes us human beings. The capacity to feel compassion and empathy for another human. The ability to be conscious of someone else's plight and to want to ease their lives, in whatever way we can.

If we are meant to merely exist, then I don't think we'd have been given the capacity to be conscious of not just ourselves, but everyone else, or to feel anything.

We all have the capacity to be amazing, and to accomplish amazing and awesome things in this life. If we focus on and are conscious of what we can accomplish and the good feelings that brings, there is no telling what every single person here could achieve.

As human beings, we each have something priceless to contribute. Every single one of us. I will work harder at being more conscious of my own thoughts and feelings and being aware when someone is trying to pull me from that happy place within my mind. I will be more conscious of seeing the jewels in others, particularly those that do not agree with me.

And, I think, that's what being human is.

The words ''Being Human''.Its something rather interesting isn't it?How in a mater of seconds you go about living your life one way then it changes.How is it that each day we go about the world we are given choices with the thoughts of what makes you happy,is this the right thing to do,what am i to gain or lose from it.The matter of just being you inside a world of other peoples dreams creates a nightmare all by itself.We do not ask to be born but we are and are given choices to what we are to become.How does one single human life live in such a place knowing their told they have control but really they do not.So as you read this ask yourself who are you really and what are you doing with your life.Then clear your mind forgetting everything you ever do with your life and ask yourself who are you really if you were given a blank space to really be who you are.Time is so unforgiving but what creates the single most worst thing to being human is the fear to ''Be You''.I say all this because your living your whole life within a very circle that you yourself never created but were made to think so.What if you were to go outside that circle would you be ready or be so scared you whouldnt want to even thou you could be the real you.

That is something for you my friend to think about...

One night I had a dream that I saw myself sitting in small house having only two windows. Within the house were many people. Half were looking out one window on one side of the house and the other half were looking out the other window. None within the the house knew how they got there only that they kept looking out the windows seeming to be looking for a sign of profound vision. One group was claiming with such clarity they could see the truth of everything and the other group claimed they thought they saw a glimpse of the truth but, their window was a bit hazy and cloudy so they just were not sure.
One truth they all knew they were stuck in this house and though they were aching to get out and explore beyond the confines of the house they could not find a door nor a key or any manner to escape the confines of the house.

Some just resigned and embraced the confines while others still kept hoping for a release, an escape, a way out of the house. Yet, all the while they were concerned about getting out of the house they did not realize each were holding a key and the windows were never really there nor the walls of the house. As a matter of fact the house was not even real but their own imagination of a false sense of imprisonment.
The windows were just invisible barriers to what they placed within the walls of doubt, fear, pessimism, anger, and regrets of the past.
Such is the case with online dating in some cases.
Yet, perhaps this is more for the blogger to understand.

One night I had a dream I was walking upon a valley and off in the distance there was a garden.
As I came near to it I saw its bounty of many varieties of fruit and vegetables ripe for the picking.

Next to the veggie garden was a thicket of weeds and thistles and briars and next to that a patch of flowers of all kinds of beauty.

As I pondered why were they divided by weeds and thistles I could not understand why anyone would grow such an array.

Then a voice from the clouds said unto me "oh foolish man what do you not understand? Is it not clear what you see?"
I cried out to the voice "No I honestly do not know why anyone would let weeds grow between such a lovely garden."

The voice in the cloud said, " Son of man open your mind and eyes. You see the bounty of veggies and they look ripe for the picking for they are the food of thought and dreams of many in the garden of life but, as full and ripe they may seem, there is barrier of weeds and thistles that must be cleaned out to bridge the gap to reach the flowers of beauty.
Yet, there is no one willing to tend to the weeding
As the hope of reaching to the flowers of beauty and the veggies which feed those who hunger for knowledge and understanding there is much work to be done to clear out all the negativity in the hearts of the laborers.
As I the lord above the clouds can provide all the light and water to nourish the ground, I give life to everyone who seeks it.
Hence, all I ask is to clear out that which is blocking the veggies and flowers so they can bridge one another and share the bounty of love and life they so desperately need.
In time with proper nurturing, you will reap the bounty and benefits of the garden of life before you.
Seek it's truth and do not be discouraged for the garden will feed you what you need.

She may have lost that loving feeling but when Paul Shane saw the re-run of this he must have got that sinking feeling, big time.



How can something seem like a good idea one minute and then, the next, make you want to curl up and die. It happens to me regularly. Most mornings when I wake up and consciousness slowly seeps into my head, the memory of some of the things I've posted on the forum, the night before, comes back to me and I feel like burying my head under the pillow. But then, I go and do it all over again. What's going on? Please tell me I'm not the only one locked into a cycle of self humiliation.

Success can be defined as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. In simple words, one reaching their destination.

Accordingly, failure can be defined as the lack of accomplishment of a set aim or purpose or one not reaching their or set destination.

During this process, I found that keeping any set goals or purposes hidden or a secret does help not only reaching a destination faster but, avoiding sabotage from others who failed to reach their own destination, set purpose or aim.

In the end of the day, everyone has their own opinion or the so-called opinion.

Another hearing many differing opinions may lead to confusion.

The workings of the mind do come with intention and purpose in the expression of an opinion.

Not all express an opinion with good intentions or purpose.

It is up to another to discriminate between beneficial and not beneficial, healthy or unhealthy as in the discrimination between right or wrong.

Success as in the case of failure is a matter of choice and how it is defined by one may not be defined by another.

Failure for me is giving up, success is moving forward, marching towards a set aim or purpose, even it is just a small step.

Therefore, progress.

Progress can never be made through giving up marching towards a set aim or purpose, a destination.

Moving forward that is what success really is for me.

Progress and growth.

If there was growth from an experience, no matter how hard or difficult, unfortunate or negative then, there was never any failure.

Failure is the lack of progress and growth.

If another moved forward, even if this was a tiny little step then in reality, this was not failure but, success and a success.

Not reaching a destination but, marching towards a set aim or purpose or destination.

How do you define failure and success?.

Is this dependent on the external or internal?.

Does it regard money, a title or a position?.

Happy Wednesday, April the 11th.

How self-delusional do you think you are?

It is said that everyone thinks they are a good driver and have a good sense of humor.

I’ve seen people here write that they think they are smart, witty, funny, etc... and I am left scratching my head. I am not able to understand where they get that self-assessment from. Lol

Those same folks also seem to enjoy labeling others in an equally erroneous fashion.

Just wondering if I’m the only one who observes this behavior

I feel Sorry for people who don’t drink.

When 2018 started, I have vowed to pursue a less lazy life and try to be a more devoted woman who knows how to clean and cook.

Ive mastered the cleaning part when I was 6 and a master of it now. The cooking part however proves to be way more challenging than brushing the edges of the bathroom floor. So Ive pushed myself harder and in less than 3 months, I learned not to burn my fried spring rolls and sunny side ups.

I have a feeling though that I have to learn how to cook vareity of dishes to be able to satisfy my future husband. Or else, he'll have to suit himself in takeouts everynight for 3 years before he divorces me.

Good day CS!