Self-Improvement Blogs (525)

Everything is useful. To a degree, of course. So don't celebrate anything above your breath, and don't mourn anything longer than you should. Joy and sorrow are just two different ways that build you as a person. Avoid neither, glorify none. In time you learn that even things you extremely don't like have a rightful place in your life. You can't shake them off, there is a law above your will. You have to rearrange them, change their priority level from high to low. And get on with your life. People you don't like won't magically vanish. Things you don't like doing won't stop just because you're tired of repetition. Muscles don't grow stronger without effort, patience and discipline. The same goes for your personality. It's a spiritual muscle. If you want to become the person you believe you deserve to be - earn it. Forget the world, prove it to yourself. Respect is not a human right, you have to build it. It starts within you and radiates to let others know how you see yourself.

So stop demanding, and start growing.

Did anyone ever told you this? Too much of other people is not good for you. Not at all. Especially their thoughts. Reading what they think about this and that. You're not supposed to know all these things. It's like television. It's not useful for you and not healthy either. Even if they offer their thoughts to others.
You get sucked in that hive mediocre mentality sooner or later. Having nothing better to do than paying attention who thinks what, instead having your own opinion based on being true to yourself.
I was in that maze for years, thinking if I relate to someone's thoughts truly it must be destiny that such people will end up being together. But nothing happens. You still chew your lunch alone, even if you read all the books by John Fante. And you exchange quotes in a short-lived amazement.
It doesn't mean anything. Nobody will sleep with you because you read a particular book. Nor books should be read sole for that purpose.

Stay away from stranger's mind. We're all intrigued by it, but it's a dangerous drug. A lottery you can't win. It will lead your astray. It will make you feel disappointed.

Go on a date. If possible. The sooner the better.

Avoid endless messages. If you like writing, then write a book. Chemistry picks your partner, not world of thoughts. Steven Hawkins has amazing world of thoughts, but he's not your dream date.

In my life, I've read a lot of bad English. Written some of it too, reaching fluency doesn't come naturally nor easy. It's an uphill battle. English is not the most logical language out there. And you really need to check before you post anything... If you don't the joke's on you.

Probably the most notorious bad English comes from Eastern Europe. I'll admit it. Did you already forget Ken Lee? On second thought, it could be that irresistible Indian accent. It's a tough one. Boris the Blade vs Bangalore pimp. I grew weary of English in the last few years and since considered it to be Latin of our time. Now, if you're a Germanic barbarian (and anyone can be a barbarian for pagan Rome) you might not develop a taste for it.

Still, it's more than useful. So I'm removing the dust from my vocabulary vaults these days. Something good knocked on my door a few days ago, and English it's all your fault... Thanks!

I want to wrap it up here, letting my good old man George Carlin say a few words about English. We couldn't agree more. If anything makes a language look silly - it's the political correctness! But pc is just a smallpox of our time, a children's disease. Languages live on in perpetual change and growth. And so will English. It survived without Shakespeare, Dickens, and Twain. English is a tough kid.

As you might see up there in the title there are some very meaningful and strong words that many of us just do not know their true value..... My life is a roller coaster. My relationship went in shambles and i decided to share some thoughts with you all ... peace

My personal relationship did not work out because i did not trust and did not take things to the next level. If someone's worth the extra effort try and go their way. By that i mean if you have an argument it is ok to give in and not to escalate things. YES it will mean telling them its your fault when deep down you know its not. Deep down your partner will know that they are wrong and will appreciate the extra effort you put into the relationship.

Never say goodbye! It is a really cruel word especially when you are having an argument ... Never go to sleep without talking things over.

Family is important but do not ever let your or her family be the reason to breakup. At the end of the day you would be living with the person and not with their family really. If you do not agree with how family regards your spouse it should not be the cause for breaking up.

Never ever compromise if your partner still meets the ex. If there are kids or real estate it is understandable that you might have to compromise but it does not mean that you should accept everything for e.g a social occasion .... That being said you know when you should trust the partner or not. Trust your gut instinct. It is ALWAYS right!

Honesty is also very important. Show them how much you really love them. It is useless keeping it to yourself out of pride.

Be Positive. Do what it takes to win the other person back. Do not play the proud human and let things fall off your grasp. That being said don't ever be a stalker ... be a gentleman!

Never cheat your partner! You will regret it later on. I was on the receiving end. Be careful that you were not the one to cause it! While nothing justifies affairs .... make sure you never motivate the affair to become a reality because clearly you must have been doing something wrong! And most probably that is why the partner went into rebound mode.

Show commitment, not only to the person but also to the relationship itself. Don't be overloaded with work all the time. You will just instigate thoughts in your partner's head who will in turn cast doubt on the outcome of the relationship.

Don't be cold with your partner who is trying to attempt to fix things between you two after an argument. Don't play proud... it will get you nowhere! You will regret it when someone that really loves you is gone for good..... you will only realise that when it's all too late ...........

Never try to replace your partner with someone else. Another date after a breakup will just resolve nothing! It will only make you feel worse because the person you left is in reality irreplaceable! Stop trying to find your ex in your new acquaintance .... it just won 't happen! And you will mourn your ex even more! Give yourself time!

Think about things! If the relationship is salvageable, then there is no reason not to give it another try! Give it as many tries as necessary. If you really love someone then you should not put a number of lives on the relationship before you say game over. That is just nonsense and will bring you nowhere in life! These days we live in a very busy life .... and there seems to be less and less tolerance between couples ....... Be there for each other and show love to each other.

A rebound 'date' will never make you happy... nor it will make you forget.... you will just feel more and more miserable.

Love is not only on Valentine's ...its for every day of your life. ..... Stop listening to others to forget your partner... especially your new acquaintance ...... Let nobody interfere with what you really want in life ..... Never give up

by nature we are shy,mean,cold,warm,weird,crazy,tough,kind,confused,
greedy,aggressive,confident,pettiful,cowards,naive,nervous
intelligent,selfish,proud,carefree sometimes the situation
forces us to be who are acting.
of recent some character tried to chat me up but I had him
one disturbing question poor me I got blocked hahahaha I
didn't mind his actions because he is one of a character that
never want to communicate ...
think he is so hard on himself and life at large though he lives
under pretence but he is stressed if only he communicates things could look way different .

If at any time in 2017 I have annoyed you
Pissed you off
Or offended you...
I'm sorry...
Happy New Year!!!

Ever get tired of the same old bullshit from people who could care less about you
and perhaps have no incentive to change or constantly depressed or sick of their
life and the choices they made?

Ever get tired of offering suggestions to help people who seem to embrace their misery?

Ever get tired of beating yourself up seeking approval from those you approve of
yet they just don't reciprocate?

Ever get tired of the drama of others?

Ever get tired of stupid mundane sometimes pointless forums or blogs seeing that most people
just have nothing else on their plate to offer?

Are we not tired of being surrounded and very much alone?

Tired of being tired? Thinking that sleeping it off will make it go away
only to find the pain is still there?

Its really sad indeed because no matter how polite we may act or the noble intentions to
offer some solace there is this void of apathy and it drains the energy from us.

People who are constantly depressed drain the energy of those who seemingly are doing fine.
Depression kills and destroys all that is good in anyone. Where does it come from why are people so miserable.
Why do we tend to attract the very thing we despise in others. Perhaps because those who are equally miserable
who do not want to face their issues attract others who do not want to face theirs. Hence they have something in common.

What is sad is having mental illness and depression or physical ailments and seeking others with similar
issues is not an ideal match.
If two are in darkness how can they see themselves to the light?
People in general have their good points and pitiful points and trying to focus on their good points and their potential of greatness is the best we can offer one another but if people only focus on how miserable they are
it actually repels the healing they seek.

I know I am not the sharpest pencil in the box or the brightest bulb but, its so disheartening to see the same old story of people we may care about watching them on a path of self destruction.
When it comes to the 3 kinds of people out there Perpetrators Victims and Rescuers its time to consider the real perpetrators people have such as fear, doubt, lack of confidence, emotional or physical illnesses, anger, hopelessness. These things in my opinion are the worse enemies we have and often sabotage our ambition to find friends and healthy relationships. As far as being a victim many have choices to be one to the perpetrators that rob us of life. Ah then the rescuer which claims they have overcome the perpetrator and profess they are no longer a victim.

How I hate despise this because those who claim they have overcome the role of victim of self made monsters their testimony is a reminder of we have the power to change. Yet how often do you give away that power to the victim and perpetrator?

So, in knowing who our friends really are it those three which are constant reminders of our perceive guilt because we can't measure up to one another.

A woman will always think the grass is greener elsewhere and will always consider their options.
A man may do the same but with a twist because deep down inside no matter how much people
profess they don't need anyone nor want anyone maybe they just gave up on everyone.

Yet they find their comfort zone in their sickness they won't tell you about. They won't tell you how alone they feel or how unhappy they are.
The mask we wear defines only how well we are able to hide our pain.
One day we will have to take off the mask and face our real selves our pain our regrets and declare our passions that we want to live and love and play to be happy and to be needed and wanted and be fruitful
and be human as God intended us to be.
Overall we will have to decide who are friends are and who we wish to let go or hold onto for the new year.

something always buffles me as in how do people start
praising other countries and forget their own..

I do always move from countries to countries for certain reasons but
never do I at any time forget where I come from.
and its funny some chinese look alike faces calling her self an american or african as if the origin country is a curse to mention about...

I think confidence pride is all I call self love
I mean having your culture to praise is health other than praising a foreign
one just simply you want to fit in society and maybe you went to those
other countries for studies or marriage or born there and you now forgot
your origins....

I can't hurt myself to this I am seeing here or in the name of survival for fitness...
@selflove is everything because it comes naturally at no costs.

At birth we boarded the train of life and met our parents,
and we believe they will always travel on our side.


However, at some station
our parents will step down from the train,
leaving us on this journey alone.


As time goes by,
other people will board the train;
and they will be significant
i.e. our siblings, friends, children,
and even the love of your life.


Many will step down
and leave a permanent vacuum.


Others will go so unnoticed
that we don't realize
they vacated their seats.


This train ride will be full of joy,
sorrow, fantasy, expectations, ( mostly unrealistic)
hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.


Success of the ride consists of having a good relationship
with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.


The mystery to everyone is:
We do not know at which station
we ourselves will step down.


So, we must live in the best way,
to love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.


It is important to do
this because when the time comes for us to step down
and leave our seat empty
we should leave behind beautiful memories
for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

Unfortunately, carrying around the caboose of regrets, emotional baggage
and anger only just makes the journey that much more difficult


I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life.
Reap success and give lots of love.
More importantly, thank God for the journey.


Lastly, I thank whoever
for being one of the passengers on my train.


(By the way, I am not planning to get off the train anytime soon
but when and if I do, just remember I am glad for those of you who were part of my journey.)

It matters not how many passengers who board or disembark as much as the quality of passengers
who made a difference in our lives.