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Is it a man thing or what ?
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Hiya weirdos,
Just wanted to let you all know me and the lovely Jenny finally got married like written in my farewell blog a few years ago. It was a nice traditional thing, confusing af for me but still fun ??, government screwed up a bit and it still took us about a year before we could actually live together but when it was possible I picked her up and brought her home on Valentine .. yeah I'm such a romantic.. we had no trouble adjusting to each other, everything just seemed to fall into place. She has been busy learning the language,doing some volunteer work and such. She is doing excellent and I do think she really feels home, my family absolutely loves her, she made some friends and all that.. she will start to study next September and that will keep her busy for a few years and we also hope to start a family soon.. guess I'll come back to write a blog about that when the time has come.
Anyway, friends I hope life has been good to you all. It sure has been wonderful for me. Take care

What holds a relationship together? We all know that communication is the key to keeping the relationship alive - but what kind of communication? That doesn't mean talking at him or her and disregarding the other person's input. Communicating with your partner and understanding their perception of reality is the key.

What a concept. How does that work? We all have our own perception of reality, and no matter how close we are to another person, it's highly unlikely that any two people will see reality in exactly the same manner. Understand your partner's perception of reality and communicate with them on that basis.

What else? To me, kindness, honesty, self-awareness and a sense of humour are some of the most attractive qualities a man can have. Those are the values that are most important to me in any relationship.

Knowing yourself, your values, your issues, and what is and is not important to you is going to assist in any disagreement and how you respond. It's not about being right or getting your own way, it's about why is there a disagreement and how can it be resolved so that both people are satisfied with the outcome?

The biggest one? Putting your ego aside. That doesn't mean to put yourself second all the time. It means realizing that a disagreement is your partner's way of letting you know their needs are not being met. The biggest assumption that partners make in a relationship is that they need to be shown love the same way that we need to be shown love.

Me? I enjoy a touch on the arm, a hug around the shoulders, a kiss on the neck, top of the head or forehead. Any little touch that lets me know my partner's aware of my presence. Birthdays and holidays, I love gifts and flowers. They don't have to be expensive, simply a token of my partner's appreciation. And yes, I want to hear those three little words.

Not everyone likes to be acknowledged in those ways. Perhaps my partner does not like PDA's and their way of receiving love is spending quality time with their partner, words of affirmation (I love you), or acts of service (eg -making your partner their favourite meal). Once you understand how your partner prefers to receive love, a deeper trust and intimacy can be formed with less chance of disagreement through miscommunication and misunderstanding.

However, honest, sincere communication entails a significant degree of trust, but also releasing the need to control either a situation or another person. We all have control issues, and it's paramount to a successful relationship to understand which ones we have, and how they are manifested.

I'd bet that almost everyone has said, well, the partner I want is going to be ......, and thus ensues a list of wants. What it comes down to, though, is what are we bringing to the table and what are we prepared to give? Personally, I love spoiling my mate, provided I feel cherished, loved and respected. That doesn't mean I want a clone of myself in any relationship, as I think it's really important that people retain their autonomy in pursuing their own interests and hobbies. Conversely, it's equally important to be able to share some interests and hobbies - balance. Some people want/need to spend all their time with their mate - and that's fine provided each person's needs are being met.

It seems almost an oxymoron to say that the key to a good relationship is self-awareness. But without being aware of our own issues, how can we possibly expect to nurture a healthy relationship with anyone else? When we become self-aware, we also can become more giving, more accepting, and more understanding of others.

Mastering a perfect partnership means mastery of being the perfect partner, from both people.

I have been listening to some songs I have always liked this afternoon. It was a love song. So I think of this topic, my love, in somewhere are you waiting for me? Or are you waiting for me?

I see that a word which is very much in fashion nowadays specially among women is the word " unconditional love" , everybody wants to be loved like this ...but do people realize what is the meaning of this word? is it possible to love without any conditions for an human being with an human consciousness?! I am not speaking of the great mystical figures who have reached BEYOND ordinary human consciousness to the source of " Divine" love , are you ready to love even the one who tortures you? kills before your eyes your family? have you not yourself expectations to be fulfilled and if they are not you will run away?! it is a terrible burden to put on the shoulders of a potential mate to expect from him or her to be loved in this way! behind this so called romantic expectation there is a lot of dream, of thirst to be loved and...immaturity I find!
If we want to truly learn to love we should first face reality!!!

From profiles, blogs, polls, forums etc on CS we all make judgements about the people we see, recently I was told that in the considered opinion of another member, I was not the relationship type.

Apart from all the false profiles, scammers and liars, when you meet someone genuine how do you judge whether that person is the “Relationship Type”?

I was just reading this in the latest issue of Psychology Today. It followed the story, "Adjustment Bureau" by Theresa E. DiDonato, Ph.D.

Since we are on a dating site and many of us may have been in a previous relationship that may or may not of worked out exactly as we hoped, or, we are currently looking for a relationship and may have questions on how we can preserve it. I thought that these following tips may help some of us:

"Sure Signs of a Healthy Relationship"

-PARTNERS SUPPORT EACH OTHER'S OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH People are more satisfied in a relationship when a partner actively supports their efforts to expand their own horizons.

-THEY SHARE THEIR EMOTIONS It's not enough to talk with a partner; couples in thriving relationships engage in emotional self-diclosure...the communications of thoughts and ideas with anoter person.

-PARTNERS PAY LESS ATTENTION TO ATTRACTIVE OTHERS The kind of commitment that appears in thriving relationships activates an implicit attentional block against the allure of attractive alternative partners.

-COUPLES SEE THE POSITIVE SIDES TO COMMITMENT Romantic commitment is multifaceted, reflecting positive, negative, and constraining elements. How people view their commitment predicts the quality of their romantic relationship.

-THE PRACTICE SELF-COMPASSION Good partners are kind to themselves. Being gentle toward oneself after a failure, for example, predicts the types of behavior that promote healthy relationships...such as offering empathy and concern for a partner in need.

-THEY EXPRESS THEIR GRATITUDE Feeling grateful is one thing, but telling your partner is another. Sharing feelings of gratitude is linked to positive partner perceptions and more willingness to voice relationship concerns.

-BOTH FOCUS ON HUMILITY Those who keep the ego in check are more attractive and are evaluated more positively as potential partners. According to research by Daryl Van Tongeren at Hope College, humility may be an important ingredient for relationship success. In addition, humility is tied to forgiveness, a powerful tool in happy unions.

*July/August 2015 Psychology Today page 43

What am I doing wrong?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMxX-QOV9tI/

Enjoy and add.

whats finding someone on cs
1: U creat u profile...who u r? and looking for whom?.and all goes dependent on ur written ability and on the interpretation of other who reads it.
2: u need to wait and dont know how log?..u can do nothing
3: when by luck u find someone,its not neccessary he/she will also be interested in u.
4: here its very tough to belive on someone due to presence of lots of scammers on this site..
5: after so many if any strong relationship develops, there is always a distance problem..
6: lots of people think u r a broken heart or looser(mainly if u r young).which is not right for all.
7:: misinterpretation of ur words in comment or blog or message..
n lots of problems..
so should we go out from here? ....my answer is OFCOURSE NOT...nature demands for a cost to fulfil any wish..so its ok with lots of problem..my hope is alive and ur should also be..Have a great day all the cs members..