Most Commented Dating & Relationships Blogs (2,550)

Why are so many women attracted to bad men?

Hybristophilia is a paraphilia in which s*xual arousal, facilitation, and attainment of o*gasm are responsive to and contingent upon being with a partner known to have committed an outrage, cheating, lying, known infidelities or crime, such as rape, murder, or armed robbery. (Wikipedia)

High profile criminals always get fan mail and female admirers and Ted Bundy got thousands of love letters while in jail and let’s not forget about the Charles Manson groupies.
I have personally met a few women who are with total bastards, violent and domineering that treat them like trash.

I’ve also noticed a lot of you CS ladies flocking towards complete trolls and obviously sexist morons
Is it because you think you can change them? Do you think they are seen as protectors?

It’s your turn ladies; enlighten us good men...

How many times have you resolved not to fall in love again? And yet, once the wounds have healed, we just fall in love again; time and time again. And when we fall in love, we forget all our good resolutions and break all our own rules.

The strange part of it is that we usually a fall in love with strangers. Let’s face it, we don’t look into the eyes of somebody we have known for years and then suddenly go weak in the knees. It is a stranger that does that to you. If you don’t want to fall in love, avoid meeting or seeing strangers. But then there is probably a built in cut out switch somewhere to allow you to fall in love with a known person in the absence of strangers.

A man and a woman who have known each other for years will not fall in love with each other, even though they may be a perfect match. However, it may happen that they can come to their senses and decide to throw their lot together. Given some time, they will grow to love each other and spend a lifetime in happiness but that was not falling in love. It is a cultivated love brought about by a logic decision and probably has the best chance of success.

I think falling in love is a primitive breeding instinct to ensure the survival of the human species. And it is built into our genes to fall in love with strangers to diversify our genetic material. Inbreeding had never been good for any genetic pool.


Have a great day and I hope you meet many strangers. One of them may just be the one you've been waiting for.

I think most of us here are waiting for the right one to show up; some actively searching and some passively waiting; even though our profiles may indicate the opposite.

CS is not going to provide a shortcut to instant happiness. We will still have to go through the normal process of getting to know each other and discarding those that we don’t see as fit. CS will only give us more opportunities and with the increased opportunities, there will unfortunately be more failures. The main thing is to remain patient. Look things over and correspond for as long as possible before meeting. No matter how good the front, with enough conversation, the true colors will surface sooner than later.

No, don’t lower your standards if they are realistic because that is what you stand for. However, if they put you out of your league, you cannot expect other to lower their standards to accommodate you if you are not prepared to do it. To reach a compromise does not need to be an unconditional surrender. You will never find that perfect partner. He or she only exists in your imagination.

It is more important that the two of you share the same values and that you are reaching towards the same goals. The details of how to get there can be worked out along the way.

Also, remember that your new partner had a life before you came along. He/she will come to you with a history and possibly some baggage. It is very much like buying a used car. The body may have a few dents, the engine may have a knock, and there may be some things in the trunk, left by the previous owner. But all of that can be fixed. After all, you also have a past with a flaw here and there. You are not perfect either. Nobody is!

Most importantly, consider that your new partner may have the same fears that you have and maybe even one or two additional fears. You don’t know how love treated him/her before and you too may not be exactly what he/she envisaged in his/her mind.

And don’t be blind for his or her shortcomings. If there is anything that you cannot live with, break it off immediately. You cannot change the other person. On the other hand, if you decide that you can live with it, you have to close your eyes to that flaw and live with it.

So, will the right one ever come? Yes but you may only get one chance. Don't squander it.


I hope you enjoy this Friday and the weekend that comes with it!

When I was younger, my Ideal Man was tall, dark ( Tan or Brown skinned) nice body and handsome. He has to be not more than 3 years older, clever, have a good job and financially very stable, the faithful type - someone who can be trusted and love me with all his heart. There was no way I would settle for less than that “perfect” man.

Well, I did get my “ Ideal” man… it lasted for 10 years and I have no regrets

Now that I’m matured and older, lived life…"been there done that" phase , my ideal man is someone very matured, thoughtful, understanding and one who will be there for me for the rest of my life. How he looks and body shape still matter but not that much . I’m a shorty but I do like tall men, at least 5’10”. I still like tan or brown- skinned men, hairy chest but not the mustache.Someone who looks good in any type of clothing and comfortable enough wearing an old T-shirt and tight boxer underpants. Men who always wear ties and Tuxedo rarely appeals to me. Someone who has a regular job or any decent source of income, no debts and not running from authorities, living a simple and healthy life will be perfect for me. . I don’t like rich men nor those who are overly successful and making a lot of money – like those who are making at $ 150,000 +++/yearly… … they never impressed me, they tend to be controlling, high handed and they’re usually the decision-maker, makes me feel they own me and I have no say in anything Am I asking for too much?

In order to find our ideal man, we have to be that ideal woman first. We don’t always get what we want, sometimes we have to settle for second best. When it comes to partners, boyfriends or girlfriends…would you settle for second best ? Will you keep on looking for your ideal man/woman and take the risk that you could end up alone, lonely bitter old man/woman one day ?

Ask anyone for advice in solving a personal problem, dumping a relationship or just ironing out a few gripes and the answer you’ll get is... Talk to them face to face.

ARE YOU f*ckING SERIOUS?????

Not me... I’m chicken!

I have always wanted a partner and I only realized the other day that I have been looking for the wrong person all along. To formulate my desires, I sat down and wrote what I really wanted. Of course, the end result was not quite what I would normally post on my blog, so I had to sanitize it somewhat because I suspect that some of the people commenting on the blogs, may be as young as ten years old.

So this is what I require:
A tall well-build woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting too serious.

To mask my requirements from the under-aged, I inserted two lines to lead them astray. If you cannot work out which lines to skip or if you are offended by the end result, you are probably under age.

I don’t believe this stuff, but my horoscope in this morning’s newspaper said that I’m to avoid the numbers two and four today, while one, three, and five will bring good luck. Maybe you should try it as well.


Have a great day.

May not be linked to external trappings such as .jobs, income, appearance, etc., — these tend to "come and go."

Instead it may be Relational Self-Awareness , which is defined as "the ability to take a curious stance vis a vis yourself."

"People who don't have much relational self-awareness tell stories (especially love stories) that are full of blame and shame. They tend to cast themselves as victims and other people as suckers, losers, or fools."

On the other hand, a relationally self-aware person might say something like, "It wasn't the right time for us," or "It was painful, but I learned from the experience."


"Without relational self-awareness, what happens is I slip into into blame — I see it as your fault because I'm blind to my own role in it — or I slip into shame — because I'm not paying attention to your role and I'm convinced that I'm the problem and I ruined the whole thing."

A relationally self-aware partner will realize that you both messed up and "ended up way down this rabbit hole of misunderstanding."


How do you recognise the lack of self-awareness in somebody (or in yourself)?

Pay attention to how they talk about their past relationships; see if they always blame others for every bad thing that has happened to them; see how they treat a waiter who brings an incorrect drink; see how they deal with another road user, etc.

Basically, when the sh1t hits the fan, how do they react.

Can you improve their self-awareness?
Improve your own, and let them learn from you.

(Thisisinsider.com)

Are they really that difficult to form? I have been on this dating site for over 2 years...think I am pushing 3, but who is counting. Before a relationship (speaking of couples here...married or unmarried but exclusive to each other) can start, it is very typical for people to date first to see what level of compatibility they have. If the dating process goes smoothly with each person, a relationship may very well develop.

This is a dating site and I have heard of very few dates in my umpteen years I have been on here. As just mentioned, dates are just the usual beginning of potential relationships. Some on here may feel that since there is long distances between people here, that blogging is a good way of getting to know somebody. However, there is only so much two people can find out about each other with blogging and messaging. I have found it very rare that people are willing to share their bad traits in public format or even private messages, bad traits that could easily make or break any sort of relationship from potentially moving forward. So, blogging and private messages, in my opinion, cannot replace actual physical dating.

The long distance between people is a reasonable reason why some dates actually do not happen. From what I have seen, not all people have this huge distance between them and meeting up for dates is very possible...with a little effort. With that said, there are not many dates that I am aware of that have took place here in my years.

What are our intentions on this dating site....or any dating site for that matter? Are we very cautious to jump into a relationship and just patiently sitting back and waiting for that indisputable magic person to show up...that person who can break down our walls we have surrounded ourselves with?

I wonder...even for myself...the feelings I have that I am not even looking forward to even going on a date at this moment. But, I will...if some sort of magic person befalls upon me. ....the idea of a relationship.


Does anyone else share with this?

Love is a controversial feeling, both cure and ruin,
A reason to live or die.
Some people say there is no love without suffering,
Still what is worth life without love?

Here, I share Perhaps Love, with Placido Domingo and John Denver, a poem in the form of song that can define love better than me.