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I just feel the need to rant n rave a bit. Can anyone tell me whats wrong with the idea of a younger woman prefering an older man? Personally I see nothing wrong with it but it seems where I'm from and in society in general, it is frowned upon....a taboo. Is age really that important to you personally??

that you are not exactly attracted to, but they just threw themselves at you?

Let's set some parameters. You are hitting an older age where you know you are not getting exactly younger.

The person, seems to be very mature and well grounded.

You are very good friends.

You have been single for over 10 years and the idea of adding someone to your life is a bit scary.

Their mom and dad is younger than you.



There are so many more. I think the best response, especially after having a couple of drinks was to say, I am flattered...and give her a hug.



Another parameter...you know there are some other people interested in you...but they are in a relationship, married...and have never come out and said anything...but you know their behavior around you speaks volumes. They are people you are attracted to....

So...how do you do the dance here

Every night wide awake, many times wondering how my kids are doing...

Only 43 and I have a 4 year old granddaughter and a grandson due in a few weeks...

Where did the time go?

My oldest son, now 22, travels the world on business trips...used to be trips to the park riding bmx, seeing what crazy stunt he could do next.

My daughter...almost 21 and working two jobs as a single mom...remember her always cramming her studies, stressing that she might get lower than an A- ...smart honor roll student, she was.

Oh and my youngest...only 15, but in high school...seems like just yesterday, I was worried about him crossing the street by himself to go to his friend's house.

All the chaos when they were little, running around...all the worrying..crazy family trips...I do miss it now.

Day in, day out... So quiet, can hear a pin drop. Its been a couple of years now and I'm still cooking enough for a family of four...I have to divvy it up in Tupperware to use the leftovers throughout the week.

I've been a mother since I was 21, entering adulthood...been mom so long, now what's my purpose?

Seems a house was only a home when there was a family residing within. Now, its just an existence. I really need to find myself a hobby

Those with young children...or yet to have them....don't forget to enjoy every moment while they're young for it just slips away too fast before ya know it.

Hi everyone,

I'll try not to babble but here goes. I met a guy this time last year, from the outset he spoilt me, showered me with gifts, made me feel really special, bought me flowers on our first date, held doors open for me, you get my drift. He wanted to spend all his time with me, declared his love very early on. My feelings differed, I was a slow burner but as time went on my feelings grew. He told me he wanted nothing more than for me to move to where he was from, he told me he wanted to have kids with me etc. and even right up to the time we split he told me he wanted to bring me up the aisle. He broke up with me in May after 9 months together. I cut contact with him to help me get over the breakup,. He messaged me after one week saying how sorry he was but not wanting to reconcile and that he loved me. He then, after two weeks post breakup, sent my daughter a bday card with money inside and texted me again the following day to apologise about how things ended. I continued with no contact and asked him to respect my wishes. Roll on 5 weeks post breakup and he has updated his whatsapp pic to himself and new gf, which made me suspicious that he met her before we broke up, it would also coincide with his behaviour leading to the breakup. Well after no contact since, I get a phone call tonight from an unsaved number, it was him, ringing me to tell me he is after getting engaged, after only 3 months since our split. He went on to ring me once more, I didn't answer and has sent me three texts since saying he is really happy and hopes I'm happy for him too. I dont understand why he felt the need to ring me to tell me the news especially as I had requested no contact. I couldn't have found out about his engagenent as he lives in another county and he is not on social media so why the need to rub it in my face?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Also I know she is obviously a better fit for him, but I find his behaviour odd.

While cleaning out my fridge looking for missing plates I found a large cabbage hidden behind ½ empty jars of green moldy stuff, at first I just placed the cabbage on the table with the intention of simply binning it, without warning the cabbage spoke to me, you would have thought I would have been scared but it spoke in a quiet female voice, calming and very sexy too.

Turns out her name is Michelle and she comes from Slovakia, We had been up all night talking and laughing and got on very well.

Things just happened, one minute we were talking about writing paper and the next we were upstairs, I removed her plastic wrapping and saw just how beautiful she was, the night was spent exploring each other in ways I had never dreamed possible, just peeling away her outer leaves made me feel reborn. Lately the only person interested in my body has been the undertaker, I’m bowled over!.

I’m not sure how to proceed, what will people say when they see me taking her to the coffee bar or simply shopping, she says that we will be accepted, I’m in a quandary and don’t know if I should break up with her or hope our love is accepted.

I have seen stories on the dark web where humans and vegetables have found love, they all end up the same way, the vegetable partner rots away to a fetid liquefied mess and the human just gets another vegetable to love, maybe vegetable swapping is a good thing, maybe not.

She is in the kitchen right now, the smell of a full English breakfast wafting through the house, maybe this time I have found the one?

I will decide after breakfast, if she cleans up the kitchen I maybe on a winner here.

Image of Michelle the gorgeous cabbage sitting on my face...........She tastes so good!

I have seen so many profiles that say Match Location: Anywhere

And I can´t help but wonder if people here, would really do whatever they had to do to be “face to face” with the object of their love…

I have asked potential partners if they wouldn´t have it easier by looking for a nice lady where they live… And I keep getting the same answer: That it wouldn´t be me… One person said: “Do you think you are that average that I can find just as good anywhere?”

I wonder if love really can break the barrier of distance…
I think it takes two very special souls to be able to unite and form a bond so strong to break down any obstacles they face in their road to being together forever…

Would love to read what you, ladies and gentlemen, think…

I ask this because New Girl and I were just chatting and she told me she knew people who said that they loved each other but didn't respect each other. She could no more understand how that was possible than I can! What do you think?
I'm just passing by the way because I had to ask this question!

Practically without exception people rate honesty highest on the list of attributes they require of a partner.
That seems perfectly reasonable and noble, but is it true?

Do we really listen to honesty if it is not what we want to hear?

And when it all goes belly-up, do we lash out and blame them even though it's not really their fault, it's ours for not listening to their reality, their honesty.

At the beginning of a relationship we should listen, really listen to what the other person is saying, not just what we want to hear as this will affect our entire relationship.

If we are honest with ourselves (is that even more difficult?) we have all been in such a scenario during at least one relationship in our lives. The he/she is obviously interchangeable, and I am sure you can add to these possible scenarios.


Scenario One:

She says, sex is not an important part of a relationship to her.

He thinks, she hasn’t slept with this god amongst men yet ..I will change her mind about sex forever!

At the beginning all is good, both are trying to impress each other as we all do at the beginning of a relationship.

Fast forward 3 years – Couple are still together, possibly married, but he is lucky to get sex on his birthday and their anniversary.

He feels lonely and cheated and considers having an affair, after all he feels entitled to sex with the woman he loves. It is a normal part of any relationship. He feels hard done by.

She feels lonely and upset. She isn’t getting the love and companionship she wanted from the man she loves. She can’t understand why he is pushing her about sex, she had told him it was not important to her in a relationship, togetherness is more important.


Scenario Two.

He says, I am not into long term relationships

She thinks, he has not met me yet, he will never want to leave me once he gets to know and love me.

At the beginning all is good, they are getting on brilliantly, fall in love and enjoy each other’s company.

Fast forward 2 years – couple are still together but things aren’t going as well as could be,

She thinks, why does he not want to see me more? He seems to love me but won’t commit to anything, not even to book a holiday for the following summer.

He thinks, I am being smothered here. She wants me to be with her every waking minute and keeps planning things for the future. She’ll want me to marry her yet! I told her I wasn’t into long term relationships, all I want is a bit of fun with someone I care about, no long term plans, no long-term commitment.


When people are honest they say what they want or can do. We claim to want honesty but then disregard that honesty as it doesn’t suit our own ideas.

So, do we really accept honesty when we get it?

Well, I have. I picked her up… No! She picked me up in a pub one night. We were playing pool. We were the usual six and four wives. I was newly divorced from my second wife and our gay friend never brings his other half when we get together at a public place.

It was a Thursday in the middle of the month and the pub was empty when we walked in, except for this woman. The place had a U-shaped bar counter and she sat on the other side of it. An attractive woman and she kept on looking at me. Then she stood up, went to the toilet and while I was playing she came out at sat down on my bar stool where my jacket was hanging.

When I finished my turn I walked towards her to fetch my drink and my jacket but she stood up and sat down on the next bar stool. She was a good looking woman. Honey blond hair with a tinge of red in it, the most beautiful large blue eyes, a petite nose with a few small freckles across it, and a full mouth with very kissable lips. She was well proportioned and maybe an inch taller than I; introduced herself as Vlam which translates to Flame in English. That was when I made three mistakes in quick succession; I chatted her up, I bought her a drink and I agreed to take her home when we were done playing.

We finally left and when we were both in the car she told me it was too late for her to go home. I took her home with me. She stayed for three days, living in my track suits and feeding me with the biggest load of bullshit stories on earth. Among others she told me she was a truck driver. Yep, a truck driver! Methinks her husband was probably the truck driver.

On the Sunday morning she asked me to take her to the station. She had to go back to work; said she’d call me when she’s back again. She came back a few days later and again stayed a few. This routine was repeated four times and then the last time her visit coincided with a braai (BBQ) at my place. We were the usual crowd again. Bea was married at the time and she was also there with her husband.

At some stage Vlam cornered me and said that I pay too much attention to my friends’ wives and I told her that she’s not my steady girlfriend and if she wants to stake claims like that, she’d have to be available much more regularly. She looked at me with venom in her eyes and let fly with the fist, hitting me on the left eye. She immediately turned her back on me, bent down and covered her head with her arms.

I stood there flabbergasted. Shit, this is not happening. Did she really hit me? A woman! I felt something running down my face; when I touched it I realized it was blood. I was still too surprised to move and when she discovered that I’m not going to retaliate, she came up and hit me square on the other eye. More blood! This bìtch knew where to hit! She was getting ready to punch me again but by then my friends smothered and restrained her while I stood there bleeding like a pig.

The police came and took her away but released her the next day when I did not want to press charges. I was not going to stand in a full court telling everybody how a woman beat me up. She simply fell off the map and frankly, if I never have to see that woman again it will still be a millennium too soon.


I hope your Monday is not blue.