Most Commented Dating & Relationships Blogs (2,541)

I can't find the blog I commented on last week referencing the number of guns sold in America versus the population and from raw facts it would appear each American had a gun. From experience of friends, workers and going to gun shows, I'd estimate one person had 10 guns while 9 didn't, making the tally (from a glance) look like everyone had a gun.

Okay, that thought passed. I was listening to a news report of Jeffrey Ferguson, a Superior court Judge in Orange County California had murdered his wife.

Get this: 47 weapons and more than 26,000 rounds of ammunition were recovered during a search of his home, including the pistol used in the shooting. Authorities said the weapons were legally owned. A rifle registered in his name is not accounted for.

72 year old Ferguson was arrested last week. He was released a day later on $1 million bail and set to be arraigned on September first.

That 'shoots a hole' in the statement that each American owns a gun.



A rifle registered in his name is not accounted for, according to the district attorney's office.




Where do you think he stashed the rifle?

Flirting is an art, they say.
Not that I am an expert or anything...
However, on my short stay as a CS citizen, I already have a few suggestions for guys on what not to do.

1. Endless "hello" e-mails.
I'll say it nicely: after the 18th HELLO, it gets kind of boring. If you don't have anything to say, just don't write.

2. Misogyny jokes
Most girls don't like it, me included.

3. Telling her you're helplessly in love with her after reading her profile and want to marry her.
Seriously, in what planet are you living?

4. Writing your personal details on your first e-mail
You're too easy, man, forget it.

5. Writing the same greeting e-mail twice to the same girl
First impression is important, but after that she'll be sure you're just shooting aimlessly.

New additions: thanks girls

6. Writing before reading her profile

7. Saying how beautiful the girl or her smile is...when they can't see it



Any thoughts to increase the list?

So that is the new opening line in all my recent personal messages.
Small case i's, capital letters mid sentence and the urge to relocate in the name of love to another country.

You know that little thing in your head which stops you saying things you shouldn’t?

Yeah, I don’t have one of those.

We all have choices in this world. If someone is taking a crap in the middle of the carpet, we can
a) Pretend it isn’t happening and move away hastily
b) Egg them on to strain harder, leave a bigger turd, because – actually, I have no idea why. But people do.
c) Tell them to pull up their pants. Even when it isn’t our carpet.

Still, it takes a long time, and a lot of aggravation, for me to stop thinking ‘oh, people have the right to say and do anything, however objectionable’ and change that to ‘hey, if I keep silent, you’re going to think what you said or did was actually acceptable.’

We ALL have at least one button marked DO NOT PUSH. Someone supporting a political candidate you think disastrous? Or praising a religious point of view (including atheism) the opposite of your own?

How about thinking it hilarious to torment an animal? Yup. We all have a button.

This rush of blogs about the change in layout got me to wondering why so many of us resist change. And what will we do if we meet someone? Because that would be change, for sure.

So this is a question for those actually looking to meet someone (because yes, some are here just for the virtual equivalent of Cheers, where everyone knows your name) (Norm!)

Would you be looking for a slow adjustment - meeting every other Thursday for coffee, then slowly slowly stepping that up to other outings, plus an occasional takeaway at his, or a home-cooked meal at yours (or of course the other way round) until a year or two down the line you suddenly realize you're spending more time together than apart?

Or a sudden whirlwind, swept off your feet, blown out of your quiet life into a thrilling breathless gasping new world?

Or something like a long-distance relationship, where you have the whirlwind weekends but the peace and quiet of your familiar life in between?

Or just waiting with interest to see what life has in store ...

For me, perhaps the last option. Just wondered if anyone else had thought it through a bit more.

Actions carried out upon breakup: Delete photos, text, phone number, cut off any communication. Did they even ever exist? How do you handle it when the one you cared for is no longer in your life? Do you keep all the said above and wait for them to contact you again, giving you some kind of hope? How do you grieve? What actions do you take? Chalk it off to another one bites the dust and it's experience gained for the next relationship? How each of us handles a breakup is different. For me, I get everything that reminds me of them out of my life. I let it go. I cry, I evaluate the whole relationship and try to learn from it so I don't repeat past mistakes.....then I try to keep my heart open for the next that might come along.

...when they give away their power to the woman?




I think it is time for men to get to the modern level of thinking when it comes to the modern woman. There are plenty of videos online that help us men get educated. Do you remember those days when women were such a mystery to men? Well, today...the mystery is starting to be exposed. That was the beautiful thing for us men with feminism. Feminism encouraged women to be who they wanted to be...instead of suppressing it and confusing us men. Also, feminism is beautiful for women too...now they can be who they want to be. However, us men need to understand what that means for the "modern" man.

Some of the common things I see many...and I mean many...women want in a man.

1. over 6 foot in height
2. physically good looking
3. making over 6 figures for income
4. having a big p*nis
5. having confidence
6. having a nice car & home
7. willing to give the woman whatever she wants
8. having muscles

Statistically, there is data that says that women only go after the top 20% of men...meaning the remaining 80% of men, women have limited to no interest in. That is the truth for modern men. In that list provided, do you know how many men qualify with having all those traits? Let's start out with the 6 foot and taller range...only 15% of men are that tall. Now add those other things that many women want, and you can start to figure out what percent of men exist that women desire.

Years ago, I mentioned something about how feminism would cause a war between the genders. Really, there was no other way for how it to end up. Men were not going to just sit back and get sh*t on. Now after years of collecting information and getting the bigger picture of just how they are being mistreated, they have now entered the "battlefield."

It is a sad thing really. Truly sad. You know why? Because in the end, nobody will win...and it will create a division among us. Just as how many other things in the world are trying to divide us.

Ouch. Look at that bruise, it will be a lulu.

Funny mix of feelings, though. Mainly surprise ... but then he is VERY stubborn and so am I and we had a clash of wills and for the first time I won. So perhaps I shouldn't be surprised.

No regrets. If you ever read this, Alex - it was oh-so-very-much fun, 5 laughing holidays together and talking for hours and hours on skype when we were apart: I will always remember the sheer fun we had. You made me feel I was infinitely good company and very desirable.

I wish you hadn't been so stubborn ... but I guess better to find out now than further down the line. I did think we were friends as well. Maybe in time that can be picked up again.

Going to go now. Starting to feel a need to wallow in a little ice-cream. I'll be back for the chat every now and then, to see who is up to what. I wasn't going to allow comments on this and then I thought what the hell. Maybe someone will enjoy a little crowing. I have some friends here, but I made some enemies too. Go for it.

Happy hunting, y'all.

He was 45 when they married. At 29, she was 16 years younger. He’s not my best friend but we were friends enough for me to be invited to their wedding. That was 5 years ago. A good age difference, I said. That is how I prefer it as well. To avoid confusion, let’s call them John and Mary.

She was a likeable girl; pleasant and friendly. When they met, she was involved with a no-good scoundrel (let’s call him Peter) who is unemployed more often than employed. She dropped him like a hot potato. The new love grew fast and 10 months later, John and Mary were married. Her two children from a previous marriage were about 8 and 5 at the time. From what I understand, they adore John. All seemed well.

About a year ago, I went to a pub in Parow. I grew up in Parow and go there quite often. To my surprise, I saw Peter and Mary at the far end of the counter. I may have assumed it an innocent or coincidental meeting, was it not that they were holding hands. I pretended not to notice them and went to the toilet. When I returned, they were gone. They left their drinks. I asked the bartender if they come there often and she said yes. Note that Peter lives in Parow but John and Mary lives in Goodwood.

Since then I saw them together several times; always in Parow, usually very cozy and holding hands. The last time was in a clothing store. They were at the men’s clothing, he fitting shoes. She had several garments in her arms. I was with a friend and he wanted a pair of jeans. While he was looking, I went back to the lovebirds but they were gone. She dropped merchandize right there on a shelve.

I had a look at it. Two pairs of trousers, four shirts, a six-pack of undies, and 4 pairs of socks. All good quality brand names. My blood boiled. This a**hole had no way of paying for those goods. As if it is not enough that she was cheating, she was buying her lover clothes on her husband’s account.

How do I proceed from there? If I ignore it, I become part of the plot and I'm betraying a friend. I can tell him straight but what if she comes clean with him and he forgives her. Then I’m the wolf in the story who wanted to break up their marriage. I decided to talk to her.

I called her the next day and set up a meeting at a coffee shop. It is not what you think it is, she said as she sat down at the table. So she knew what it was about. I’m sure it is not but it is going to end just the same, I said. If not, I will send the pics I took to John. I never took any pics but she did not know that. This was about six weeks ago. I don’t know if it ended, I have not seen them together again but they may be more discreet now. Perhaps even meeting in another suburb.

So, perhaps I went about it the wrong way, but what else could I do? Let’s just hope that she has come to her senses. John is a good guy.


Enjoy the day.

I guess some of us are not very proud of ourselves today. Probably ashamed, even if just a little. But there is a limit to the abuse one can take. After all, this is a dating site – not a place to get rid of your frustrations.

In a way, I feel sorry for her. I have never seen so much anger, so much hate, and so many grudges in one body, but we were not cause those sentiments. It was unfair to take it out on us.

In the three and a half years since being here, nobody has been so unpopular. Nobody has managed to unite so many people against him or her. I can only admire people like Crazy who supported her to the end.

But is it the end?

The question is, did we want her to go? I don’t think so. I’m not glad she is gone, yet I cannot say that I’m sorry either. All I wanted was for her to be more rational.

But who knows, maybe she returns as a different person, at peace with herself.

Snooky, let go of it now. It is eating you up. You’re not an island. There are people around you. Rather reach out to them instead of pushing them away.