Most Commented Dating & Relationships Blogs (2,541)

These days the internet and mobile technology has allowed us to meet people all over the world, messaging, Skype and these internet dating sites have become normal even to those of us over 50.

I do miss the days when I would have to ask permission from a girl’s father, getting dressed up and taking her out for a meal, sending flowers the next day even if the date didn’t go well. Cards and letters? a thing of the past.

Instant messaging is great, but so is talking on the phone, hearing someone’s voice, listening to what they have to say can still give me a warm feeling.

Meeting someone in person for the first time after messages and phone calls should be exciting, the days building up to the meeting are full of nervous worries “will she like me” “will I like her”........Normally these worries are silly but it’s how it should be.

What would be your ideal first date? And do you think that technology has taken away the romance?

It’s taken a few years – okay, lots - but I finally know what I want.

Sell more books. That opens up more options and funds everything else. Earning cigarette and holiday money from present levels of sales is handy but that income needs to increase, hmm, ten-fold. Action required – study marketing and stop wasting marketing time on CS

Write more books. 13 non-best-sellers isn’t enough, more books published is more books to sell. (See above) Action required – stop wasting writing time on CS

Enjoy life. I like where I am, but I do know I won’t feel this good forever. So far I have met men I like, men I trust, and men I fancy. If the universe would just be a darling and send along someone I like, trust, and fancy, who likes, trusts and fancies me, that would be just peachy. Action required – some time on CS?

Move to a better climate where people speak English and I can nip back regularly to see daughter in England without going into meltdown because the flight is so horrendous. Action required – pick another language and learn it, to open up options

Pretty simple. Prepare for blast-off.

Sorted your life plan? How's it going?

I used to believe only boring people get bored. Wow, I must be really boring because I have never been so bored in my life.

I feel better, stronger, healthier and more confident now than I did 10 years ago, hell, 20 years ago. And what am I doing with all this energy, this bubbling vitality?

NOTHING.

I thought I was bored because I was in a relationship that was going nowhere. Then I thought I was bored because it stopped going altogether. Now I've taken a horrible but really well-paid job and am still writing so that one way and another I'll have funds in hand when something exciting comes along.

Any time now ...

Right?

Every serious relationship you were ever in, changed you. Men change for women and yes, women really do change for men.

Did you keep the changes or shed them with relief when the relationship ended?

When it comes to beauty.

Many women respond to beauty on an emotional level...how somebody's looks make them feel. That is why women fight among themselves...well maybe not fight so much (but sometimes)....but for sure compete over beauty. Who has the better dress? Whose hair is stunning? Whose breast...whose...shoes... We don't even want to get into make up. There are countless sources of information out there for women with make up.

Then of course, the insults will come out between them if they are competing for the same guy. The snide remarks are made, the "tooling" of their opponent in a public situation is the best battlefield.

Where do women make their mistake most of the time?

Well, most women perceive life from their own perspective. It is called "self-projecting." They basically apply their perception on a situation from the way they would handle it...from the way they feel about it.

Feminism was a beautiful thing for men. Because, feminism encourage women to be women. Be who you are. Let it all out. "Do what feels good." Then of course it lead into the s*xual revolution for women. Men got educated to women's nature. ...or ease of manipulation.



Before feminism, women would have been right...for the most part. Beauty is beauty and men and women both have been led to it like a moth to a flame. (side note: it is said that up to 50% of women are bi-s*xual). Like a moth going to that flame, there was no logical rational being used in the moth making its decision...It just mindlessly went to the flame.

After feminism, not now with men. Men have learned their lesson, when many of their souls have been ripped from their being. Their lives were destroyed. They lost their children and sometimes women would convince the children to actually hate the father. They lose half of their wealth. Some men lost their lives, lost their jobs, lost their homes.

You see, most women don't go through that. They instead go through what makes them feel good. For many, that is having many men on their speed dial...and a mission to suck as much money from the man.

You beautiful women, the mistake you make is that you believe everyone responds to beauty equally. I will give you this, an ignorant man might; however, a man who went through the ringer, won't.

I know this has been blogged about before but - that odd moment when you look at a profile pic and there's a *ping* in your head.

Half the time of course you then realize the pic is familiar because it's been borrowed from a celebrity

And sometimes you make friends, even meet, on CS and there had been no *ping* at all at the start.

But it happened with a few profile pics. One was female and eventually became a buddy - one was male and when he then wrote to me I thought ooh, I knew the minute I laid eyes on you and where is this going? Well, nowhere, as it turns out, just buddies.

And quite often nothing ever happens at all - the pinger leaves CS or is a bit of a prat, or puts up a different pic and you're like oh no, ew

Once I hurried off to look up a profile and tchah, he was in his forties and looking for females aged 18 to 25. So the ping is not always true.

But one day, maybe, I will get the *ping* and it could be a true *ping*, a *soulmate approaching* warning.

Ooh, look! A flying pig!

Gathered here and there are a bunch of diverse intelligent and not so intelligent beings, some are good looking most are not, some are just an outline of a presumed gender.

I’ve been here a while and have seen a glut of prospects, met quite a few and exchanged bodily fluids with a fair few, I’ve seen the tumbleweeds blowing through this place like a deserted town too.

I know that many people who used to grace our blogs do visit incognito, maybe just to laugh at us or perhaps check out a crush, who knows.

I’ve talked to many, most seem to fade away after a few messages, some have stood the test of time and chats are daily occurrences.

So what’s the problem? Apart from a few lucky souls most of us remain in stasis, not moving forward at all, Is it age barriers?, Is it geographical anomalies?, or is it lack of commitment?

I’d say that most here don’t want someone, they need someone, but their needs are very different to what others need, some may just want a bloke with money, some men just need a cleaner or mommy figure, but each one of us has something special to offer a potential mate, I don’t think that we probably know what we do have that will appeal to a mate, only by messaging and talking will we find out.

So we are undateables on paper but in real life we probably are very datable, most of us have been on our own for many years and have our quirks, so only by messaging, talking and actually being proactive will we make progress, sitting back and waiting for someone to message us is a waste of time.

Message someone, talk to your crush, time's limited, none of us will live forever.

Let's look back in time.
What was before online dating. Newspaper personal ads, friends/family arranged blind dates, social events, bars, libraries, literally everywhere where people were.
It was very slow. It was usually down to luck. It was very limited in choices. (Usually in a limited geographic location).
Why was it good? It was natural. People met because they were at the same place. They started to talk because probably had some similar interest.
When people chose or accepted the partner they went for the "good enough" option. It was enough if it was slightly better than others. The brain is happy to do a task like this.
These days the Internet gives the false impression of unlimited choice.
Do a search. Not enough results? No problem. Widen your options and voila now you can scroll 30 pages.
And makes you believe it is down to how you choose.
Barry Schwartz wrote a book called "The Paradox of Choice". He says too much choice will be detrimental.
There are couple of problems inside:
1. Because there are so many options you believe there must be a perfect one. This means the weight of your decision is much bigger.
2. When you choose one and it's not flawless you believe other choice would have been better. Which means you will never be satisfied with the choice.
3. Choosing from a big selection is exhausting. Our brain is not made for this.
4. Big number of players mean big competition. It's very easy to feel you are the only one left alone.
5. Anonymity changes the behaviours for lot of people. They would never say things or act the similar way face-to-face as they do online.
You can find many more points if you think.

Solution: I don't know. I believe it's still a very slow game. You have to accept it you either go for just a good enough or wait much much longer. Same as it was before. The difference is you have to cancel all the noise.
Also I don't believe the marriage is about how you choose at the beginning. It's about how much work the partners put in. The marriage is a workshop. (Yes, I know the classic: Men work, women shop...)
But no one can see in years ahead. what works at the beginning might not work in 5 years time. People also change.
The biggest issue is not how you choose but people didn't learn to work on problems. It's better to look out for new partner if there is a problem.... See, how many potential options out there? Just look around on dating sites.....

This has been done before and it's been fun.
It hasn't been done for awhile, so maybe it's time to do it again.

So.
Here's the deal...
Judging by the number of views on the blogs, it seems that a number of folks look in, but haven't yet joined the conversations.
....

Perhaps y'all are shy.
Or unsure what to comment on a certain topic.

Well, newbies...this one's for YOU!

There IS no particular topic!
Just jump in, introduce yourselves & join in.
...

Don't worry that you might make yourself sound foolish
Many of us do that on a remarkably consistent basis.
...



Not ME, of course But some do

And y'all old hands at this...give the Newbies a great...
blogs...

C'mon -
This is your chance to jump into the deep end of the pool.
Or maybe just dip your toe in to test the waters.

As a special incentive bonus...the first five Newbies will receive a set of dandy virtual steak knives. ...

.....

A gentleman wrote in saying he is trying to be everything for his wife and providing everything she wants, but he is not getting what he wants...sex.

The Psychologist responded to his concern...and she states that in today's world with the roles of women and men changing, there is confusion of sorts going on with both genders. One thing she states about women, the same qualities that they want in a loving relationship, are the same qualities that DO NOT foster a drive for sex.



Hmmmm

Her recommendation to the gentleman was to talk with his wife....basically no real solution.