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it's been a while, any takers ?

I think my preferences have changed , anyone here from Asia?

All these years during my stay on CS-Island, I always.. I mean ALWAYS had high self esteem when interacting with CS people. You know why? None of them was humble. And therefore to me they’re no better persons than I am. At the end of the day, I could always say:

“who the hell do you think you are to me?”
“what the hell make you think you’re a better person than I am?”

Until I met my Giant..

Different from any other CS person, I have never sensed any arrogance nor any sarcasm nor any rudeness from my Giant whenever we talked on video skype.. He has always been a very humble man and that made me wonder.. who is this guy really?

To be honest, when he told me his real name, I searched on internet. I found many articles about him. So I know that he is real.. and he’s loved by his friends. But yesterday, I found one article that was posted in 2018. One of what the article said was that my Giant’s a SUPERSTAR. And I was like..

“Who the hell do you think you are, Kal?”

So this morning I asked him about that. He said “Oh I was good once!”
That’s it. That was it all he said.

For the very first time, I felt so ashamed of myself. I felt like a Lioness without teeth. Even my thorns are all broken.

I told him that the article made me wonder if I am good enough for him to be by his side.. to spend his life with.

He said:

“Stop wondering! Let’s just make our relationship work!”

And this morning I promised him that
“I WILL DO MY BEST TO MAKE OUR RELATIONSHIP WORK!”
or I would rather stay single for the rest of my life..

I love you, my Giant.. I really do with all my heart.


Indonesia, 12 August 2020
Kalpataru

I posted a blog about comments my family gave me when I sent a picture of me and my Giant to our family (correction: my family) WA Group. I decided to erase that blog although I got one interesting comment that deserved my response.

"Where is your Hijab, Kal?"

Yes, that's the comment I got from my family on WA.

You see, my family do not worry about me talking to a stranger from far away somewhere. They only worry about something about me will change. I find it a normal reaction when your loved one has relationships with someone who is from a completely different world. But that made me think. Maybe.. just maybe, my Giant's family have such worries too. They may worry about something about him will change.

So this morning, my time, my Giant and I spent more than 6 hours on skype video call. Ofcourse not 6 hours spent on our discussion as we watched 2 movies in between..

Anyway, I asked him to think over and over again about our relationship. I asked him not to waste his thousands dollars on flight tickets to meet me. Although I know he has huge amount of money, not to mention the huge amount he and his siblings inherited from his belated Dad. Even first class plane tickets would be nothing for him.
But as much as I want to be with him, I don't want him to face problems from his family and friends because he chooses me, an Indonesian Muslim woman, to spend the rest of his life with.

I reminded him that my belief and his are different. When it crashes it can create a conflict.. not only with him but also with his family and friends. I don't want him to be in a confusing position when the conflict takes place between me and his family, his two sons especially.

"How tolerant are you? How ready are you? What will you feel? How will you deal with issues?" I asked him those amongst other questions.

We discussed things from different point of view.. from many different conflict possibilities, including rule A to Z in my belief and rule A to Z in his belief..

However from whatever perspective I brought up, he ended up saying "Kal, you don't need to worry!"

I GIVE UP!
Maybe me and him spending life together with all our differences will not be as bad as I thought after all..

Listening to Jordan Peterson, with our modern dating world....where long term relationships are becoming a thing of the past, Peterson theorizes that only a small portion of men will get all of the women. To find out more about this, first think about it...and then...I encourage you to listen to him.

Here is an example of his theory in practice.

I was just listening to Lauren Chen. She had a blog about "West Elm Caleb"....a guy who has dated many many women and who have ghosted them. Chen goes on to show women who have been ghosted by him being upset. However, she points out in her opinion, this is a result of feminism. Lauren Chen claims that this is exactly what women have asked for. Towards the end of her blog...she states that feminism is not....men should do exactly what women say. She says that before feminism, men had a deeper respect for women....now....it is a bit different.

What should men do now?

What should women do now?


Peterson says that female desired men are becoming more callous. He goes on for saying...I don't blame them. (remember people form their self image and moral compass by feedback received). He alluded that, why should these men settle for just one woman, when they can have all of them. (This was my interpretation of his message).

For women, perhaps be more careful with who you pick for a partner, or as Chen suggested....state up front that you are looking for an exclusive relationship...and not sleep with him so soon.





Before we start picking on men....I suspect that same is true towards women as well....the beautiful women can have most of the men. However, I think men will settle for less than beautiful when it comes to a mate. But are women more superficial than men in this new dating world?

something to think about I suppose

I was told, that if I go to a pay dating portal, the men (in my case) are really serious, so not like here, where only a small percent are looking for a partner
I was also told on the pay-portal there are no scammer. I registered with one.
NOW LISTEN TO THIS !
I hope I can give the name of the portal (to shame). It is 121Seniordating and works from GB.
As I started by put in my data, just finished and per mail was already getting chat requests from men near me. Within 5 minutes I had over 10 (in my area that is a lot). So I thought I will try it and see what it has to offer.
This is how this portal (OK, I am not going to swear)* works. They send a short note for every guy near the new victim (me in this case).
So I became a member with a short months payment. Answered each of these guys -
AND DID NOT GET ONE ANSWER back from them. Now I know why. The whole portal is a trick, the chat notes from each guy was not sent by them, but from the (smart) owner of this portal. Then they use MY answer as if I wrote to each of these guys and hope they would put in a payment to contact me. I know that now because on this portal no one is online for more then a few minutes as there is nothing to read.
I goes further. I looked to see who has paid, a few had (new ones like me) so decided to ask there experience and can confirm they were tricked too.
Anyway I was writing to a few new ones and asked for an email as writing here was awkward as you had to wait for an email for each answer.
The owner, workers of this portal READ whatever you write AND change whatever they want to so that you do not get the correct mail. The same happened with trying to get their mobile number.
There was a survey asking how many dates you have had, 85% ticked NON! How can you meet if any information you gave was changed! I never went that far.
By the way I saw several scammers on these pages too, bet they were disappointed .

When filling in the CS profile, we choose "occupation" from a list. In my case, as a member of Danish Writers Association, I picked Writer / Journalist. I have written books and articles. I have even made more than two blogs here on ConnectingSingles. ;-)

To many a potential partners occupation is essencial, more important than the size of income. I think it’s all about status: we like to date a person with a honorable job. An important person, so to speak.

So, I got in contact with a woman in Eastern Europe. We were looking forward to meet - but then I wrote something, she did not like. I told her, that I currently work as a chauffeur. She got upset, accused me for lying about my profession. She certainly did not dream of dating a simple driver!

Well, my job as a chauffeur is only temporary. In Denmark there is only two procent unemployment, and there is a huge need for labour with legal drivers license. Just to help a local catering company and collect extra money for my next travel, I picked this job, bringing out hot and healthy meals to old citizens in the countryside.

I am paid 17 € per hour, I informed her and continued: One day you’ll be old and hungry too. Do you think, you will then still give a f*ckfinger to the chauffeur?

She appologized, but I was no longer interested. Dinner is cancelled. I’ll keep my temporary job for another month or two - and then travel to meet a cute and hardworking shop owner in Thailand. She is okay with me just temporary being a honorable chauffeur - in fact, I am just a simple writer. :-)

I see a long-time member who doesn't come here often is online now...
Welcome back!

Actually, it's not Anderson Cooper. It's only a guy in Texas using Anderson's stolen photos.

I'm on a YouTube marathon this weekend and cleared cookies before coming to CS. Checking new members (before logging in) shows profiles of men and women. After I log in it only reflects profiles of women.

Ladies, if a guy who looks exactly like Anderson contacts you... it ain't Anderson.
I'm sure women in America know this, he might have a chance with a woman outside the US who haven't watched US news broadcasts.

Being sensitive is just normal.
But when it strikes you with pain more often we tend to
get MAD and ask "why me" and beyond that anger ...
comes unexpected. ....like c**se. ..
All you have to do is just cry it out need a hug now.

I like writing just for fun, it may not be someone suitable as a future partner but it can still be nice getting “post” and nowadays, you don’t have to wait till the postman comes (he’s probably is not your type anyway), the computer goes “click” and hey presto, you have your answer.
Today I saw a profile (Spain Torrevieja) and thought, OK he is not suitable for me, he is looking for a Thai young woman to make him happy, but I liked the style he wrote on his profile and thought, well why not write to him as while he is waiting for his “Thai wonder woman” to come his way.
Now this is the catch – all nicely written with a lot of humour, as least I thought it was, copied it to my mouse, ready to downpour it right into his email, letter box and, now guess what happens – well, you have probably guessed, I am blocked! I am not good enough to his high grade of requirements, well I knew that, but words, mails don’t need an age, or maybe I am just bothering him, expecting him to READ my mail, but maybe the pensioned man is just too busy, as he writes he has a few friends but still, he has been on CS for 2 years, maybe it is time to think about what you want.
I know what I want: first to write to nice people, male and FEMALE, just for the fun of it. For anything else, I think it just comes, and in most cases it doesn’t, but that’s life.