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I never make a fuss about big days like Christmas, Easter, Valentine’s Day and the likes. To me it is just a commercialized moneymaking racket and the real meanings of these days have long been forgotten.

Oh, I’ll join the fun if there is a party somewhere and if not, I normally book a table somewhere well in advance. But I never waste my money on expensive cards and BS that end up in the dustbin a week later. It is the same with Guy Fawkes Day. I'm not upset with my money and won't set it alight. When my children were still young, I used to buy a few fancy rockets just to see the awe in their faces but that was a long time ago.

I don’t know what is happening this year; maybe I’m going bonkers in my old days. Where I normally book a table at the more average places, I booked a table at one of the more expensive places. I never eat seafood when I eat out, yet I selected a place that specializes in seafood. I normally buy the first and the best Valentine cards but this year I spent about thirty minutes browsing fancy Valentine cards and ended up buying what probably was the most expensive card in the shop.

All because of a certain woman from Gauteng who happens to like seafood and who I probably won’t see again after tomorrow. So, it is not even an investment for the future. Why am I trying so hard to impress her? And the worst of it is that she cannot be impressed by any of this. If I entertain her at home and treat her on take-away fish and chips, wrapped in newspaper, she’d be happy too. She’s easily the least demanding woman I met in my life.

And before you tell me I’m in love; I’m not. Yorkie still steal my thoughts too often; not as often as before but she’s still somewhere there.


I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day.

Among the 'intellectuals' visiting here has anyone heard of 'Sanco Panza'......??

She is here on holiday from one of the Northern provinces and will be leaving for home on the fifteenth. I met her at a dance on the third day of her vacation. After spending a very pleasant evening together, we decided to see each other again.

To the present we dated five times and we have three more dates set before she returns. The last one is on Valentines Day. I have booked a table for us in a dark and cozy seafood joint with a small dance floor. I can only find one word to describe our dates so far and that is ‘joyful’. We will probably spend some more time together this weekend. She appeared on the scene at a time when I needed somebody to get somebody else out of my system.

She is not a woman that I would have dated regularly if she was from around here but now, after we dated a few times and knowing her better, I must admit that I would have hanged on to her if she did not live so far away. During our first two dates we have sort of agreed that we won’t pursue the relationship afterwards. Since then the subject was not raised again. I don’t have a problem with that. As I said earlier, she is not quite the woman that I would normally date.

But the fact remains that we had some great times during the last three weeks. I want to give her something to show my appreciation. She is not a materialistic person and she has always offered to pay half the bill. Naturally I refused every time. Last night she wanted to pay the whole bill and I had to be very firm to change her mind.

I have never been in a situation like this and I don’t know if it is appropriate to buy her a parting gift and if so, what a suitable gift will be.


See! It is almost weekend again.

I received a PM from a 26 year old, obese Asian girl with a very cute face. She claimed to be a professor living in Cape Town. She has two photos in her profile. The other one is or a slender woman with blond hair. Both were taken at recognizable landmarks in Cape Town. Normally I would have deleted it but I decided to have fun with her/him.

Her | Feb 3, 6:00 AM
Hi.your penise have power to erict...or.need bl** job.say truth

Myself | Feb 3, 6:15 AM
You are way too inexperienced for me, baby. I'll break your back.

Her | Feb 4, 5:25 AM
Hello u r annoy with me hmm

Myself | Feb 4, 5:36 AM
No, Sweetie, You're just too young for me. If my grandson was three years older I would have introduced him to you.

Her | Feb 4, 8:02 AM
Soory if yiu can break my back in such old age imagine he will not break my ribs in young age???

Myself | Feb 4, 8:11 AM
You are a naughty girl for the job that you are doing. I pity your students.

Her | Feb 4, 8:32 AM
I keep my stundents on butt and some on boobs??

Myself | Feb 4, 8:33 AM
Where do I enrol?

Her | Feb 4, 10:13 AM
Where u vish babe

Her | Feb 4, 10:22 AM
Babe why u dont like big girls. Big girls seem very sexy like me
(She read this in my profile)

Myself | Feb 4, 10:39 AM
They tire too quickly. Cannot keep the pace.

Her | 24 hrs ago
How quickly? I will manage for you as you wish

Myself | 24 hrs ago
I told you that I'll break your back. Now, jokes aside, I've been around for a long, long time and don't believe a single word in your profile. You're just too streetwise to be who you say you are. It was kind of fun talking to you, whoever you are.

Her | 20 hrs ago
U are a lover of whom? Realy i liked u thats why msg u. Otherwise too many people msg me but i am not intrested in any one. Sory for hurting u. Actually i am very crazy and funny

I did not reply yet. Her last message has me worried; am I playing the fool with a real person? Suddenly she sounds lonely and not like a scammer. But she started it off in the wrong way and her profile is not kosher.


May you have a whale of a day.

Well, I have. I picked her up… No! She picked me up in a pub one night. We were playing pool. We were the usual six and four wives. I was newly divorced from my second wife and our gay friend never brings his other half when we get together at a public place.

It was a Thursday in the middle of the month and the pub was empty when we walked in, except for this woman. The place had a U-shaped bar counter and she sat on the other side of it. An attractive woman and she kept on looking at me. Then she stood up, went to the toilet and while I was playing she came out at sat down on my bar stool where my jacket was hanging.

When I finished my turn I walked towards her to fetch my drink and my jacket but she stood up and sat down on the next bar stool. She was a good looking woman. Honey blond hair with a tinge of red in it, the most beautiful large blue eyes, a petite nose with a few small freckles across it, and a full mouth with very kissable lips. She was well proportioned and maybe an inch taller than I; introduced herself as Vlam which translates to Flame in English. That was when I made three mistakes in quick succession; I chatted her up, I bought her a drink and I agreed to take her home when we were done playing.

We finally left and when we were both in the car she told me it was too late for her to go home. I took her home with me. She stayed for three days, living in my track suits and feeding me with the biggest load of bullshit stories on earth. Among others she told me she was a truck driver. Yep, a truck driver! Methinks her husband was probably the truck driver.

On the Sunday morning she asked me to take her to the station. She had to go back to work; said she’d call me when she’s back again. She came back a few days later and again stayed a few. This routine was repeated four times and then the last time her visit coincided with a braai (BBQ) at my place. We were the usual crowd again. Bea was married at the time and she was also there with her husband.

At some stage Vlam cornered me and said that I pay too much attention to my friends’ wives and I told her that she’s not my steady girlfriend and if she wants to stake claims like that, she’d have to be available much more regularly. She looked at me with venom in her eyes and let fly with the fist, hitting me on the left eye. She immediately turned her back on me, bent down and covered her head with her arms.

I stood there flabbergasted. Shit, this is not happening. Did she really hit me? A woman! I felt something running down my face; when I touched it I realized it was blood. I was still too surprised to move and when she discovered that I’m not going to retaliate, she came up and hit me square on the other eye. More blood! This bìtch knew where to hit! She was getting ready to punch me again but by then my friends smothered and restrained her while I stood there bleeding like a pig.

The police came and took her away but released her the next day when I did not want to press charges. I was not going to stand in a full court telling everybody how a woman beat me up. She simply fell off the map and frankly, if I never have to see that woman again it will still be a millennium too soon.


I hope your Monday is not blue.

True love comes from the heart. Distance doesn't matter. If the love is true... Love will bring you together.

Hi everyone,

I'll try not to babble but here goes. I met a guy this time last year, from the outset he spoilt me, showered me with gifts, made me feel really special, bought me flowers on our first date, held doors open for me, you get my drift. He wanted to spend all his time with me, declared his love very early on. My feelings differed, I was a slow burner but as time went on my feelings grew. He told me he wanted nothing more than for me to move to where he was from, he told me he wanted to have kids with me etc. and even right up to the time we split he told me he wanted to bring me up the aisle. He broke up with me in May after 9 months together. I cut contact with him to help me get over the breakup,. He messaged me after one week saying how sorry he was but not wanting to reconcile and that he loved me. He then, after two weeks post breakup, sent my daughter a bday card with money inside and texted me again the following day to apologise about how things ended. I continued with no contact and asked him to respect my wishes. Roll on 5 weeks post breakup and he has updated his whatsapp pic to himself and new gf, which made me suspicious that he met her before we broke up, it would also coincide with his behaviour leading to the breakup. Well after no contact since, I get a phone call tonight from an unsaved number, it was him, ringing me to tell me he is after getting engaged, after only 3 months since our split. He went on to ring me once more, I didn't answer and has sent me three texts since saying he is really happy and hopes I'm happy for him too. I dont understand why he felt the need to ring me to tell me the news especially as I had requested no contact. I couldn't have found out about his engagenent as he lives in another county and he is not on social media so why the need to rub it in my face?

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

Also I know she is obviously a better fit for him, but I find his behaviour odd.

This act of treason had always been the biggest imaginable taboo in my family and I have the dubious honor to be the first in the family to have attained such status.

Since then an uncle, my sister and a cousin got divorced but that did not count. My parents continued to recognize my first wife as my rightful wife and saw to it that she was invited to any event where the family would gather. They put me under such pressure that we tried to give it another go but once again it was a no go.

After being happily divorced for eighteen years, during a short spell of temporary insanity, I took the plunge again; just to set the stage to commit the unforgivable crime a second time. For five years my parents stopped to invite my first wife to our family gatherings. My mother passed away while I was married to my second wife but the moment I got divorced again my first wife was called back to take her ‘rightful’ place in the family.

My father’s doing; with maybe a bit of conniving by my sister as well. And I know this will continue until either my father or my first wife goes off to the happy hunting grounds. Does it have to be until death do us part?

This is an awkward situation for I can never take a girlfriend with me to a family gathering because my first wife will be there as sure as there is a sun in the sky. I made that mistake once. My first wife has a way to make people uneasy without attracting the attention of the other people around. She may be a perfect lady on the surface but there is a bìtch lurking beneath.

Now, I don’t mind my first wife. We have discovered many years ago that we are much better friends than lovers. We call one another from time to time and when I happen to be in the suburb where she lives, I normally drop in to say hello. After all, she is the mother of my children but I don’t want her around all the time. For suck’s fake, I have a piece of paper with the court’s stamp on it that says that we are no longer married and our children are grown up and married.


Cheer up! It is almost weekend again!

My jaw wants to unhook when I listen to what some women have to say about their close encounters of the third kind with men. It crossed my mind that some of these women are just out to make men appear as evil monsters but I’m more than prepared to concede that at least some women may have had some really terrible experiences with men.

But all this makes we wonder with exactly what kind of men you are involved with? In all fairness, if you date an undesired character, you must expect to be treated in kind. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t say he has the right to misbehave because he is what he is but you cannot cultivate weeds and expect to pick peaches from it.

If a friend arranged a blind date and he turns out to be weird, kick your friend’s arse. You have been sold out. Otherwise you must take at least some of the blame – even if just for your inability to spot a bad character for they are not that difficult to recognize. They all carry a lot of baggage and it wells up soon enough in conversation. And if you get into it, knowing that you’re dealing with a dubious character, don’t complain about it afterwards because it was your choice to be with such a man.

I have seen it countless times that a woman who comes out of an abusive relationship, just hook up with another bad egg the next time. They find calm relationships dull. Harsh as this may sound, some women are attracted to ruffians and I think they want to be mistreated. I don’t know if they crave for the excitement or the sympathy but they normally get both.

I have also been had by one or two women but they were few and far between. The majority of women are normal and rational. Just like that there are many good men out there but the onus is on you to separate the dregs from the wine. If you pick one loose cannon, we can call it a mistake; it can happen to anybody. More than that, it starts looking like a trend. Remember, nobody can force you to date anybody. It’s your own choice. We cannot always blame others for our own bad choices.


Relax! It is Friday.

This is an initiative in the UK for women who feel unsafe on a date in a public place like a pub or nightclub - they can go to anyone working there and ask for Angela.

It's a coded message which says 'I'm feeling threatened, please can you help me' and without any awkward explanations or questions the member of staff knows to stick around, or make sure someone sticks around, until you can be safely removed from the situation.

I've only just heard about it, so in case I'm not the only numpty around, I'm mentioning it here. I think it's a great idea.

If your country has something similar, maybe you could add it to the comments for anyone local who didn't know.

And pity any real Angela types who will cause something of a kerfuffle every time they have to be asked for.