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The following blog



titled "When you are expected to pay for lunch or dinner on the first date offline. Online dating part 2" was created on the 30/1/2018 and was left in a draft form in order to be picked up and continued later on the subject of "Expectations" , subject of this blog today.

The specific blog regarded the expectation of my person paying for lunch or dinner in unwanted and unwelcome ways that definitely did not include paying half or the whole bill for lunch or dinner at a restaurant.

The expectation regarded the first date offline.

Subject of this blog is therefore, expectations in regards to the first date offline.

For the reason that expectations is a vast subject , this blog excludes expectations during dating or relationships in real life.

It is restricted to online dating and as mentioned earlier , expectations in regards to the first date offline and in real life.

As such the specific blog is referred to and includes a specific group of people that can be found online and this dating site.

Under this category or group of people come only those who plan or intent of dating in real life and/or to meet in person and real life.

Therefore, the questions included in this blog are primarily directed and concerned with this specific category/group of people.

The following scenario part of which are the questions of this blog is being given for better understanding purposes of this blog,

Hypothetical scenario

You have made contact with a person of your liking and interest through the private message service and begun getting to know each other.

Your liking of each other for another grows as you chat more and more. It appears and feels that "you hit off" with one another and after a certain time of chatting with each other, you both decide and agree to meet in person and in real life, have your first date offline.

Questions

1. Do you have any expectations in regards to your first date offline and in real life?.

2. If yes, what are these?.

Thank you for reading and looking forward to hearing any answers.

I've been reading so many profiles that say their ethnicity is caucasian or asian etc. I enjoy facts and one fact is that the above mentioned describe a person's race not ethnicity.. Ethnicity involves some form or cultural connection or belief system such as "Spanish" or "Jewish" or English" or Mongolian. There are multiple cultures in Asia so that is not an ethnicity. Most people seem to be confusing Race with Ethnicity. There are in fact only three races of humans on this planet. Negroid, Asian, and Caucasian.

So many times I heard people saying that they will never love again as it only brings pain but are they not doing themselves short for nothing? There is no guarantee the next affair will be the same.

Surely there must be some good memories sprouting from a sunken love affair. I mean why have the affair in the first place if it brought no happiness? If it brought no happiness then you have only yourself to blame for placing an expectation on something that was not to be. A lover is supposed to make you happy.

Love is too beautiful to be wasted but it needs not to be blind. You have to love with your eyes open. When you see the signs, don’t believe that it will go away for it will only grow worse. Break it off sooner than later and make it a clean break. Rather take a small hurt now than a much bigger hurt later.

Most aborted love affairs end in (or because of) some unpleasantness. That is life. When I think of the relationships I have been involved in, I only remember the good times. The bad times erase themselves with time. Don’t dwell on the shipwrecks of the past. Take the knock, put it behind you and get on with your life. There is no need to deprive yourself of all the joys of a future love. There is another love yet to come.

Don’t miss your dreamboat when it arrives. And if you discover that it is not the dreamboat that you thought it was, there is nothing to prevent you from jumping ship at the next harbor.

It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved.


Have a wonderful day.!

What do you think is the best part of a loving relationship? Is it the sharing, the intimacy, the sex, the security it gives you, the feeling of being wanted?

For me, it is all these things but above all it is waking up to someone lying next you. I say this because in my last relationship this barely happened. The relationship lasted eighteen months and during that time my girlfriend stayed just one full night in my bed; I stayed two nights in hers and we shared a hotel bed four times.

Ours wasn’t a normal relationship because although she was separated from her husband and didn’t live with him, she wanted the relationship to be a secret to all, and so we didn’t spend too much time together. In the early days we would see each other twice a week but then she wanted to drop it down to one, which I was not happy about.

What I was more unhappy about was that she would always, apart from once, go home after our love making, generally around midnight or one. She said it was because my bed was too uncomfortable but perhaps it was more to do with the fact she was a night owl. In fact I called her Night Owl because she would generally go to bed in the early hours – three, four or five in the morning, then she would sleep until early afternoon.

And so, you can see why waking up next to someone means a lot to me, not just to see their face upon awakening but sometimes to continue what we left off the night before – making love.

In case anyone is interested a recent accident in Miami when a new walking bridge was recently installed at a Florida University had collapsed on several vehicles passing under it killing 8 people so far and injured many others.

There is an estimate of about 8 cars with varying amounts of drivers and passengers under the bridge that by now are probably dead.

Overall, as sad as it may be I feel that in the world of CS there is an invisible bridge that at times seems to have collapsed in part by poor and or selective communication.

I don't know which is worse. A concrete bridge killing people or a invisible bridge killing opportunities for people to find friends and lovers etc? As I see it a concrete bridge can be rebuilt Friendships can be destroyed forever.

It seems everyone is looking for that special one, that soul mate, that life partner but isn’t that one and only so hard to find? What each is looking for is someone who will give them 100% and to which they can return the same. But is this the only way it can be - 100% for one person or can that 100% be shared around? For example, supposing you have a lover who can give 40% of what you need, all the intimacy, pillow talk and physical stuff. Then there’s your family which can give you the back-up, a base to go back to with familiarity, we could count them as 20%. Then there are your good friends who give you an alternative view on life and who will listen to your stories and complaints, they can give you say 25%. That leaves 15% for activities, sports clubs or anything else which gives you a buzz. Of course you can alter the percentages all you like, as long as you come up with 100%. That way your life is full of what you need without putting all your eggs in one basket.

So the question is, why should we expect one person to give us everything we need? Of course many people do have a single partner and all the other relationships too and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, but at least with the above formula you’ll know you won’t have to expect everything from the one you’re with and if it’s not that great, at least you don’t have to give it 100%.

So guy any suggestions?

A friend once told me that whenever he tried to go hunting so to speak, he would always meet the wrong candidate or none at all.
But when he did not hunt then it was the opposite situation.

So what to do ?

Well dear community.

Life's full of regrets ... but there's always a light at the end of the tunnel .... irrespective of how long that tunnel is.

I really believe that there are all your matches out there! And never stop looking for happiness! It is definitely there. No matter how hard things may seem.

Feel free to share a positive thing that happened to you :)

Would like to see!

What a disaster my Valentine date turned out to be. I met him last Saturday at the Laundromat. I have seen him many times before but this was the first time we spoke. He seemed kind enough and we had a good conversation while we waited for our laundry to be done. My son was using my car and he was supposed to fetch me but he did not show up and the kind man offered me a ride home. He was not a complete stranger and I felt obliged to invite him for tea. During that time a friend phoned and asked if I want to go with them to the beach the next day. He said it’s okay to bring a friend along. I asked my new beau if he wished to accompany me. He agreed and left shortly afterwards. He arrived promptly on time the next day and we travelled in his car to my friend's place where we all piled in my friend's car and off to the beach we went. The day went fine but I caught his eyes on my boobs too often. My friend's girlfriend also got more than her share of gawking. The two of them only had eyes for each other and did not notice it. Otherwise the day went in a pleasant way and we had sundowners at my friend's place before we went home. He walked me to my door like a gentleman end squeezed in a kiss on my lips, which I allowed if only to thank him for the day.

I did not hear from him until Wednesday morning when he asked me to be his date that night. I don’t like him that much, he did not have a table booked and I did not think that Valentine is a suitable event for a first date; therefore I declined. Cattie told me to rethink it and I called my beau to set up the date. He must have phoned around because by late afternoon he managed to secure a table for two because of a late cancellation. Ten out of ten for that. Sadly the greatness ended there.

He did not have petrol in his car. No problem, we can use mine. I planned to pay half the bill and made sure I took enough with me. He undressed every woman in the place with his eyes, flirted with the waitress and all he could talk about was his ex-girlfriends. He said that he did not like the guy whom we went to the beach with though his girlfriend was ok. I told him that he should have spoken earlier; we could have swapped partners. Cattie would have obliged but this a**hole did not know that. When the bill arrived he discretely told me that he was R50 short. I ordered very conservatively and my share of the bill was much less than his share but I gave him half the money and left a tip on the table. The poor girl gave us good service in spite of the unwanted advances he made towards her. He had the guts to tell me that it was not needed as her service was ‘not up to standard’.

When I delivered him at his home, matie wanted to come home with me to ‘chill a bit more on such a romantic evening'. Is the man crazy to believe that he was going to get a Valentine’s nookie after a disappointing evening? Not that he would have gotten something otherwise. It was not on the agenda.

when you think your all alone but something comes an hits you in the face its called destiny and it has found you before you found it. Can true love come from destiny yes it can all depends on the timing of everything. I really think I might have found my match but I wont know for sure just yet in time I will so from now until six months we will see but he truly puts a smile on my face almost everyday