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<This will be multi page, sorry>

So a friend of mine goes on a popular dating site. She finds someone localish, good looking, 35 years old and allegedly a college graduate in a very good job. They exchange emails. They set up a meet. They date. He tells her his name. He tells her he lives in a furnished room in the basement of a home 60 miles away in the town he works in. She however has a job about 30 miles towards his hometown, but she has an apartment of her own. After a few dates the affair moves into intimacy.

Strangely however all the assignations are short. She gets off work, they meet for dinner in the town they work in. He sometimes complains about the drive to her place but sometimes he does go there, but he never stays more than hour or two, then leaves. He never brings spare clothing to her house. He always showers before leaving. They plan weekends together, but often on Saturdays he calls and says he has to work overtime and maybe tomorrow he will come. Sometimes he does show up on Sundays but he never stays more than 3 hours before remembering a reason he has to leave. Alternatively the Saturdays they do get together he is a great companion. He takes her to shows, wineries and concerts. He holds her hand and treats her like a queen.

He claims he loves her. Months ago she suggested they pick out a place convenient to both their jobs. He agrees but also refuses to tell her the address of the house where he keeps a furnished room. He tells her it is an elderly couple that owns the house and a condition of his living there so cheaply is that he have no visitors and everything has to be super quiet there. As time passes she occasionally suggests they actually start visiting places for rent and although he says yes to the idea, somehow whenever it is time to do so he has to work overtime.

His job is a 7 days a week government job where folks work 24 hours a day and (allegedly) often being a senior employee he is the one asked to come in if someone else can not work. She isn't suspicious, but finds it annoying how often when they have time together scheduled his job interferes. Sometimes when she is with him his phone will get a text and again he has to leave due to a problem at work.

Me, I am a paranoid MF, and when she tells me some of the details, I say bluntly, I think he isn't around you much because he lives with a wife or a girlfriend and their asking where he is, is the work emergency that calls him away. I am told no. She asked him long ago and he has never been married and he has no other woman. He wants to marry her and have a family. His school and job have kept him from settling down, but now that he has a permanent assignment he wishes to buy a house for the two of them.

He becomes aware of my existence and worries that she is always talking to me on the phone. She loves how jealous he sounds when he asks about me. Her last boyfriend basically didn't care what she did if he wasn't around. One day around 7PM he insists she call me and let him talk to me. She does. I recognize her number on my caller ID and think maybe she is having car trouble and answer it. Immediately he rants and raves to me about how my friend is his woman now and I have no business stalking her and hanging around her. I am told I need to stop calling her and if I keep showing up uninvited at her house him and me will have a problem. Although enormously tempted to suggest he kiss my nether regions, I instead ask him a polite question. I ask, so you are saying the next time she calls me wanting to talk to me about you I should just hang up the phone? And let me get it clear, the next time this pretty woman calls me up because you cancelled your date with her and asks me out to lunch I should just say no?
.

A friend of mine was telling me that she was cheated on but it all ended well .

Now this begs to demand why and how , you must be asking.

She told me that She went to her Local Pharmcy and asked the pharmacist for cyanide. And he said to her 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' She explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, 'Lord, have mercy – I can't give you cyanide e to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license, they'll throw both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you can NOT have any cyanide!' So she reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well, now. You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

My English is not most perfect so I copy this from internet to show for you to read and comment

Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.

WILLIAM JAMES

I was talking with a female friend of mine over the weekend. We were talking about me and my activity on a dating site. She revealed to me, if she ever got on a dating site....her intention, if she were to join, would be...who could she f*ck over next.

She told me to get off these dating sites ASAP.

What do you think?

Internet has expand our world bounderies. Dating sites arise by hundreds and thousands and yes people are finding and have found a suitable partner during the years. I accidently was zapping on my Television and stopped by a channel talking abouth internet dating a few weeks ago.
I found this statement of a professor rather intresting. He claimed that internet datingsites within less than four years will be full of people not even knowing anymore what they want and full of losers !!!
What is the opinion of the members here abouth this statement...cause... I am one eye to read them all.
One thing more.... " Don't shoot the pianist here....he is not to blame for it " Thank You for considering.

H.R.1865 - Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act of 2017

This new proposal on US law agenda of those looking for love in all the wrong places that has wiped out all the dating section of Craigslist.

I wonder if CS will be next to meet its demise. At least within the US and it's territories. CS maybe an EU site for the most part but, the US in all its preaching of free speech and expression that it prides itself on may prove in time that those rights may be in danger of losing.

Overall I am happy they cracked down on Craigslist because it's such a horrible place to look for love, sex or whatever.
CS is in my opinion heading that way.

Been with someone that looks really good on paper but turn out to be a lemon?

I wrote and posted the following piece on Poetry Corner on Jan 7, 2016:

Love Is A Decision
(Author: socrates44)

Love is not based on a feeling only
There must also be a clear decision
Passionate feelings may die off early
Showing it was just infatuation

One should not need another as a crutch
But be able to stand on one's feet
This will allow each other space as such
And enrichen the sharing when both meet

A love relationship has its demands
It does not ensure smooth sailing always
Be mindful of this in each circumstance
And it will help you survive the rough days

The one that you love should be your best friend
Someone with whom you can share everything
A person upon whom you can depend
In situations that can be trying

As time passes, both of you will change
For change is inevitable in life
Do not consider this as something strange
Learn to adjust and avoid any strife

True love is the most precious emotion
That a person can engage in sharing
It fills the heart with blissful elation
Giving one's life a rich sense of meaning
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 7, 2016

About this poem:

"Love is a decision, it is a judgement, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgement and decision."

- Erich Fromm - (The Art of Loving)


"But let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.

And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow."

Kahlil Gibran – (The Prophet)

Have you ever craved for a particular meal , thinking to yourself mmmm.... “Would be great this evening to go to that Indian Restaurant and eat to your hearts delight ?

Just like food , sometimes one can get a craving for a particular person , (Not to eat ) but .....

Easy said then done , so much more is involved , at least that how I feel sometimes.
It is sometimes said that women would rather choose Chocolate.


For us men this could be a big disbelieve, but then again this is a true show of how different male and female reasoning can be.

Why is asking a particular person out on a date ,be so difficult and intimidating experience ?

So, this is an update to my first blog..

I have ended it with my then boyfriend. I was taught by the example of my parents that loving someone is putting the other person's needs before your own.

Our relationship started out that way. However as time went on, especially on the later months, it felt like he was only more interested with his own happiness, like mine didn't or shouldn't matter much. At least that's how it felt to me. I know that I didn't lack in trying to communicate it with him, clearly and frankly, yet, he'd rather not talk about it, so he ignored me. My point is, if there is an issue in the ralationship, shouldn't you both talk about it? Not avoid it? Just because it isn't an issue for you, doesn't mean that its just ok with your partner. The sad thing is, the lack of solution to certain problem keeps lurking. And instead of both of you talking it out to resolve it once and for all, it just gets set aside and builds up frustration everytime...

So, now, I'm moving on..