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Dear : Self Esteem..
He Needs you..
He needs you for your opinions he needs you to be on his side as his partner he needs you to remind him of the small things that he cant remember him self
He needs you ,
And that's why he loves you
But you loved him... You love him with all your heart
You don't need him to take care care of your matters you dont need him for your small details
You don't need him to know what decision to make or where to go ...
You don't need him
But you love him
You love him so much that you need him to need you
Him needing you has become the love you thirst of, your world and your universe
All because your self esteem cant handle the truth
You love him so much
But when you breath his truth in, you start to feel the cold ,so cold , that you constantly beg his pretends
And you keep pretending, you keep pretending that this will warms you inside
And you watch your heart slowly dies
And every time you remember you just have to fake it , that everything is alright..
For you know your denial is far more better than your fear of loosing him...
Every time you remember
You keep telling your self that is far more than you could ever deserve
He needs you for your opinions he needs you to be on his side as his partner he needs you to remind him of the small things that he cant remember him self
He needs you ,
And that's why he loves you
But you loved him... You love him with all your heart
You don't need him to take care care of your matters you dont need him for your small details
You don't need him to know what decision to make or where to go ...
You don't need him
But you love him
You love him so much that you need him to need you
Him needing you has become the love you thirst of, your world and your universe
All because your self esteem cant handle the truth
You love him so much
But when you breath his truth in, you start to feel the cold ,so cold , that you constantly beg his pretends
And you keep pretending, you keep pretending that this will warms you inside
And you watch your heart slowly dies
And every time you remember you just have to fake it , that everything is alright..
For you know your denial is far more better than your fear of loosing him...
Every time you remember
You keep telling your self that is far more than you could ever deserve
What Really is True Love? Part one
I only this year understood what true love is and have only just now realised why I am here, on this site. For someone my age this is a revelation that has been a long time coming. I was directed here by an acquaintance because of the blogs, articles and forums, and I knew I was here to learn something but I didn't know what.
I have gone through life in a myopic state as far as marriage, family and relationships were concerned. Possibly everything I ever did, was done without benefit of being able to see what it was, exactly, that I had done. It is not that I didn't really see everything, because I did and I always knew from being a child, that everything one does is subject to perceptions, but it is my perceptions which I now question. For example; if one puts the same information into ten different computers, one would get ten answers exactly the same, however, if one feeds the same information to ten different people, one would receive ten different perceptions of that information. None, or all of which, may be correct in their own way.
Men will often say that women are illogical because they have a different perception of things and yes, many people will allow that one must take into account other peoples point of view. It is however, not where they are looking from, that may be different, but their whole perception of events. People on apposite sides of a stadium watching a match of some kind will certainly have a different point of view but that is not what is relevant. It is the perception of the events witnessed which is important.
A very dear friend recently sent me an acapella song, on the pretext that it was really good acapella. The song was, “give my love to your new lover” but the penny didn't drop! We were lovers once but are very good friends still and have been so for many years now, providing support whenever needed. Even there, I believe I have been remiss and can think of at least one instance when she needed support and I didn't give it because of my stilted viewpoint, warped perception and in that instance, bigoted attitude. Anyway, the coin did drop eventually and I realised why she had sent the song.
Since my marriage broke up and that, I now realise, was entirely my fault, I have had a number of relationships, trying to find my new soul mate. Some were short term by agreement, especially the ones with much younger women. Others were potentially good relationships which could have blossomed but I wasn't satisfied for whatever stupid reason and ended them, on occasion cruelly, I now realise. The two most recent were the opposite, I even proposed to one of the girls who laughed and said, “I should have thought you'd had enough of that!” Each in turn dumped me and I was so badly hurt, not being able to understand what had happened, or why. Then, recently, when I was writing, which is what I do for a living these days, I found one of my own characters was giving me a slap round the head and making me look at what I had done. She sowed the seeds which helped me to now see, how self centred and blind I had been. And that was simply a scenario I was creating, in a book, which I am still writing. Because it is a love story, I came to this site to learn whatever it was I needed to know. Or if you like, I was sent here by the Universe because I wasn't understanding the information I had in my head.
Now perhaps, you will be able to see that I couldn't possibly have met my next soul mate before, because I wasn't ready, and would probably have hurt her and cast her aside like I did everyone else. How and why my ex-wife hung on for so long I will never understand, but much credit is due to her for such steadfastness and loyalty to an imbecile.
Contd
I have gone through life in a myopic state as far as marriage, family and relationships were concerned. Possibly everything I ever did, was done without benefit of being able to see what it was, exactly, that I had done. It is not that I didn't really see everything, because I did and I always knew from being a child, that everything one does is subject to perceptions, but it is my perceptions which I now question. For example; if one puts the same information into ten different computers, one would get ten answers exactly the same, however, if one feeds the same information to ten different people, one would receive ten different perceptions of that information. None, or all of which, may be correct in their own way.
Men will often say that women are illogical because they have a different perception of things and yes, many people will allow that one must take into account other peoples point of view. It is however, not where they are looking from, that may be different, but their whole perception of events. People on apposite sides of a stadium watching a match of some kind will certainly have a different point of view but that is not what is relevant. It is the perception of the events witnessed which is important.
A very dear friend recently sent me an acapella song, on the pretext that it was really good acapella. The song was, “give my love to your new lover” but the penny didn't drop! We were lovers once but are very good friends still and have been so for many years now, providing support whenever needed. Even there, I believe I have been remiss and can think of at least one instance when she needed support and I didn't give it because of my stilted viewpoint, warped perception and in that instance, bigoted attitude. Anyway, the coin did drop eventually and I realised why she had sent the song.
Since my marriage broke up and that, I now realise, was entirely my fault, I have had a number of relationships, trying to find my new soul mate. Some were short term by agreement, especially the ones with much younger women. Others were potentially good relationships which could have blossomed but I wasn't satisfied for whatever stupid reason and ended them, on occasion cruelly, I now realise. The two most recent were the opposite, I even proposed to one of the girls who laughed and said, “I should have thought you'd had enough of that!” Each in turn dumped me and I was so badly hurt, not being able to understand what had happened, or why. Then, recently, when I was writing, which is what I do for a living these days, I found one of my own characters was giving me a slap round the head and making me look at what I had done. She sowed the seeds which helped me to now see, how self centred and blind I had been. And that was simply a scenario I was creating, in a book, which I am still writing. Because it is a love story, I came to this site to learn whatever it was I needed to know. Or if you like, I was sent here by the Universe because I wasn't understanding the information I had in my head.
Now perhaps, you will be able to see that I couldn't possibly have met my next soul mate before, because I wasn't ready, and would probably have hurt her and cast her aside like I did everyone else. How and why my ex-wife hung on for so long I will never understand, but much credit is due to her for such steadfastness and loyalty to an imbecile.
Contd
Mastering the Perfect Partnership
What holds a relationship together? We all know that communication is the key to keeping the relationship alive - but what kind of communication? That doesn't mean talking at him or her and disregarding the other person's input. Communicating with your partner and understanding their perception of reality is the key.
What a concept. How does that work? We all have our own perception of reality, and no matter how close we are to another person, it's highly unlikely that any two people will see reality in exactly the same manner. Understand your partner's perception of reality and communicate with them on that basis.
What else? To me, kindness, honesty, self-awareness and a sense of humour are some of the most attractive qualities a man can have. Those are the values that are most important to me in any relationship.
Knowing yourself, your values, your issues, and what is and is not important to you is going to assist in any disagreement and how you respond. It's not about being right or getting your own way, it's about why is there a disagreement and how can it be resolved so that both people are satisfied with the outcome?
The biggest one? Putting your ego aside. That doesn't mean to put yourself second all the time. It means realizing that a disagreement is your partner's way of letting you know their needs are not being met. The biggest assumption that partners make in a relationship is that they need to be shown love the same way that we need to be shown love.
Me? I enjoy a touch on the arm, a hug around the shoulders, a kiss on the neck, top of the head or forehead. Any little touch that lets me know my partner's aware of my presence. Birthdays and holidays, I love gifts and flowers. They don't have to be expensive, simply a token of my partner's appreciation. And yes, I want to hear those three little words.
Not everyone likes to be acknowledged in those ways. Perhaps my partner does not like PDA's and their way of receiving love is spending quality time with their partner, words of affirmation (I love you), or acts of service (eg -making your partner their favourite meal). Once you understand how your partner prefers to receive love, a deeper trust and intimacy can be formed with less chance of disagreement through miscommunication and misunderstanding.
However, honest, sincere communication entails a significant degree of trust, but also releasing the need to control either a situation or another person. We all have control issues, and it's paramount to a successful relationship to understand which ones we have, and how they are manifested.
I'd bet that almost everyone has said, well, the partner I want is going to be ......, and thus ensues a list of wants. What it comes down to, though, is what are we bringing to the table and what are we prepared to give? Personally, I love spoiling my mate, provided I feel cherished, loved and respected. That doesn't mean I want a clone of myself in any relationship, as I think it's really important that people retain their autonomy in pursuing their own interests and hobbies. Conversely, it's equally important to be able to share some interests and hobbies - balance. Some people want/need to spend all their time with their mate - and that's fine provided each person's needs are being met.
It seems almost an oxymoron to say that the key to a good relationship is self-awareness. But without being aware of our own issues, how can we possibly expect to nurture a healthy relationship with anyone else? When we become self-aware, we also can become more giving, more accepting, and more understanding of others.
Mastering a perfect partnership means mastery of being the perfect partner, from both people.
What a concept. How does that work? We all have our own perception of reality, and no matter how close we are to another person, it's highly unlikely that any two people will see reality in exactly the same manner. Understand your partner's perception of reality and communicate with them on that basis.
What else? To me, kindness, honesty, self-awareness and a sense of humour are some of the most attractive qualities a man can have. Those are the values that are most important to me in any relationship.
Knowing yourself, your values, your issues, and what is and is not important to you is going to assist in any disagreement and how you respond. It's not about being right or getting your own way, it's about why is there a disagreement and how can it be resolved so that both people are satisfied with the outcome?
The biggest one? Putting your ego aside. That doesn't mean to put yourself second all the time. It means realizing that a disagreement is your partner's way of letting you know their needs are not being met. The biggest assumption that partners make in a relationship is that they need to be shown love the same way that we need to be shown love.
Me? I enjoy a touch on the arm, a hug around the shoulders, a kiss on the neck, top of the head or forehead. Any little touch that lets me know my partner's aware of my presence. Birthdays and holidays, I love gifts and flowers. They don't have to be expensive, simply a token of my partner's appreciation. And yes, I want to hear those three little words.
Not everyone likes to be acknowledged in those ways. Perhaps my partner does not like PDA's and their way of receiving love is spending quality time with their partner, words of affirmation (I love you), or acts of service (eg -making your partner their favourite meal). Once you understand how your partner prefers to receive love, a deeper trust and intimacy can be formed with less chance of disagreement through miscommunication and misunderstanding.
However, honest, sincere communication entails a significant degree of trust, but also releasing the need to control either a situation or another person. We all have control issues, and it's paramount to a successful relationship to understand which ones we have, and how they are manifested.
I'd bet that almost everyone has said, well, the partner I want is going to be ......, and thus ensues a list of wants. What it comes down to, though, is what are we bringing to the table and what are we prepared to give? Personally, I love spoiling my mate, provided I feel cherished, loved and respected. That doesn't mean I want a clone of myself in any relationship, as I think it's really important that people retain their autonomy in pursuing their own interests and hobbies. Conversely, it's equally important to be able to share some interests and hobbies - balance. Some people want/need to spend all their time with their mate - and that's fine provided each person's needs are being met.
It seems almost an oxymoron to say that the key to a good relationship is self-awareness. But without being aware of our own issues, how can we possibly expect to nurture a healthy relationship with anyone else? When we become self-aware, we also can become more giving, more accepting, and more understanding of others.
Mastering a perfect partnership means mastery of being the perfect partner, from both people.
Something's happening...
Strange, but true. Well...make what ya will, of it...
My horoscope reading (not that I pay much heed):
Voices from the past, are nothing new, especially not for you, and especially not lately. It's been happening so often, that at this point, you probably won't flinch if your kindergarten teacher ended up in line behind you at the grocery store...
Why am I bemused?
Well, over the past few months (+/-6), I dated a lady, whom upon chatting, discovered that she was my childhood neighbor, aeon's ago.... Before TV or computers, OK 55 years ago... We lived barely 100m apart.
3 x weeks ago, I spent 6 days together with a gorgeous lady... She lives some 600km away, on the East Coast. Yes, I travelled down there (flight). I last seen her when she was 12, but now... man oh man, an ultra hottie 54...
Is the Universe trying to tell me something..? Is there a message in there somewhere for me.,...
My horoscope reading (not that I pay much heed):
Voices from the past, are nothing new, especially not for you, and especially not lately. It's been happening so often, that at this point, you probably won't flinch if your kindergarten teacher ended up in line behind you at the grocery store...
Why am I bemused?
Well, over the past few months (+/-6), I dated a lady, whom upon chatting, discovered that she was my childhood neighbor, aeon's ago.... Before TV or computers, OK 55 years ago... We lived barely 100m apart.
3 x weeks ago, I spent 6 days together with a gorgeous lady... She lives some 600km away, on the East Coast. Yes, I travelled down there (flight). I last seen her when she was 12, but now... man oh man, an ultra hottie 54...
Is the Universe trying to tell me something..? Is there a message in there somewhere for me.,...
What Really is True Love? Part Two
I need to explain that a favourite quote of mine is, 'when you are up to your arse in alligators, it is often difficult to remember, that the objective was to drain the swamp.' It is a convenient excuse, and the following is quoting from a comment I made on another Article. I use it here to explain what this idiot now realises he needed to learn.
You see, after twenty nine years, I found myself busy with the alligators. I forgot to cuddle her in a morning and be grateful for all the wonderful things we had. I forgot, how important our relationship was, I forgot that she too needed support. I forgot to thank her and be grateful for all she did for us. I forgot everything and gradually she simply slipped away. I was grateful it all ended amicably, with no acrimony and that we parted friends, but even so, I couldn't see that it had been my fault. That I had dropped the ball! That it was me who forgot everything, and of course a relationship is unsustainable if one of you has to carry it alone!
It was not until now, another fourteen years later, when we no longer have a place in each others lives, that I understand. Now, this very morning, I walk along the river bank where we once walked together, and I pass the secluded places where not that many years ago we made love in the grass, under the sunshine, basking in the warmth of a love which by that time had endured better than twenty five years.
It suddenly became clear to me, that there were no alligators, there was no swamp, I had no commission to drain it, it was all simply a warped perception. What I did have however, was a very small obligation. That obligation was to never forget what a beautiful thing is was that we had! To never forget it needed just a little nurturing, to never forget to carry my part of it, to never forget to say I love you, well done, or thank you for being a part of my life.
So yes, it is important to understand how to make a relationship work, but it is vital never to forget that you know how, or forget that small obligation. As I stand alone on the river bank, I can only say Thank You Universe, for giving me the opportunity to learn that important lesson.
And I would like also to thank you guys for being here to teach me. I've not been here on the site a week yet and already I learned to pull together all the information I had held for so long but not been able to accept, because I had the wrong perception. We never stop learning, but it did take me rather a long time.
As a friend reminded me today, you don't always see what is happening or what effect you are having at the time. It is easy to be wise in hindsight! She also said that maybe I was being too hard on myself to which I responded; On the subject of taking too much on board, I look at it like this; over the years, I have had a number of car accidents, one or two were even funny, one I swear the Universe stepped in on my behalf, however, the point is, that there is not one instance where, if I had done something differently, been more aware, taken notice of that sound, not been changing a CD, rested when I was tired, whatever, where I couldn't have avoided it. Every single one I could have avoided absolutely! Never mind the other drivers or their culpability, I could have ensured it didn't happen, though for whatever reason I allowed it.
My marriage and my life were the same. Now, I know it was Kismet, it was time for us to part, I know it had to happen for us to move on to the subsequent classes which were already planned. Even so, the fact remains, I could have made it work, I could have brought it back from the dark pit it had fallen into, but I didn't. I didn't take enough notice of what was happening around me or see that I was the architect of it all.
So what is true love? The point at which we started. It is when you care so much about someone that their happiness is more important to you, than your own, even if it means letting them go kindly.
You see, after twenty nine years, I found myself busy with the alligators. I forgot to cuddle her in a morning and be grateful for all the wonderful things we had. I forgot, how important our relationship was, I forgot that she too needed support. I forgot to thank her and be grateful for all she did for us. I forgot everything and gradually she simply slipped away. I was grateful it all ended amicably, with no acrimony and that we parted friends, but even so, I couldn't see that it had been my fault. That I had dropped the ball! That it was me who forgot everything, and of course a relationship is unsustainable if one of you has to carry it alone!
It was not until now, another fourteen years later, when we no longer have a place in each others lives, that I understand. Now, this very morning, I walk along the river bank where we once walked together, and I pass the secluded places where not that many years ago we made love in the grass, under the sunshine, basking in the warmth of a love which by that time had endured better than twenty five years.
It suddenly became clear to me, that there were no alligators, there was no swamp, I had no commission to drain it, it was all simply a warped perception. What I did have however, was a very small obligation. That obligation was to never forget what a beautiful thing is was that we had! To never forget it needed just a little nurturing, to never forget to carry my part of it, to never forget to say I love you, well done, or thank you for being a part of my life.
So yes, it is important to understand how to make a relationship work, but it is vital never to forget that you know how, or forget that small obligation. As I stand alone on the river bank, I can only say Thank You Universe, for giving me the opportunity to learn that important lesson.
And I would like also to thank you guys for being here to teach me. I've not been here on the site a week yet and already I learned to pull together all the information I had held for so long but not been able to accept, because I had the wrong perception. We never stop learning, but it did take me rather a long time.
As a friend reminded me today, you don't always see what is happening or what effect you are having at the time. It is easy to be wise in hindsight! She also said that maybe I was being too hard on myself to which I responded; On the subject of taking too much on board, I look at it like this; over the years, I have had a number of car accidents, one or two were even funny, one I swear the Universe stepped in on my behalf, however, the point is, that there is not one instance where, if I had done something differently, been more aware, taken notice of that sound, not been changing a CD, rested when I was tired, whatever, where I couldn't have avoided it. Every single one I could have avoided absolutely! Never mind the other drivers or their culpability, I could have ensured it didn't happen, though for whatever reason I allowed it.
My marriage and my life were the same. Now, I know it was Kismet, it was time for us to part, I know it had to happen for us to move on to the subsequent classes which were already planned. Even so, the fact remains, I could have made it work, I could have brought it back from the dark pit it had fallen into, but I didn't. I didn't take enough notice of what was happening around me or see that I was the architect of it all.
So what is true love? The point at which we started. It is when you care so much about someone that their happiness is more important to you, than your own, even if it means letting them go kindly.
I thought I was over this!
It made me catch my breath and gave me that feeling in the pit of my stomach. I thought I was over this! 'Oh come on!' I thought, 'you really need to get past this!'
I was washing clothes and bedding this morning and as it came to folding the socks, I thought it was time to swap for the summer socks now. I got out the bag and as I was taking them out and putting them in the drawer, I noticed there were several that she had folded in that carefree elvish way she had and it reminded me of her laughing about how many socks I had. And I thought about her laugh tinkling around the room, and her pretty smiling face and ….. I won't say I'm a mess again, not quite in tears, but it was a blow to the solar plexus!
I was washing clothes and bedding this morning and as it came to folding the socks, I thought it was time to swap for the summer socks now. I got out the bag and as I was taking them out and putting them in the drawer, I noticed there were several that she had folded in that carefree elvish way she had and it reminded me of her laughing about how many socks I had. And I thought about her laugh tinkling around the room, and her pretty smiling face and ….. I won't say I'm a mess again, not quite in tears, but it was a blow to the solar plexus!
Congratulations!
In response to: You've only been on that other site for about two weeks and are already disliked. They say that you are a gossip monger, who seems to be angry at everybody.
What a poor way to introduce yourself. Have you noticed how they are all staying away from your blogs? The word is out dear....you are a troublemaker. .
You really should have gone in with a different attitude, but...you are what you are. Just a hard to get along with, combative, malcontent.
What a poor way to introduce yourself. Have you noticed how they are all staying away from your blogs? The word is out dear....you are a troublemaker. .
You really should have gone in with a different attitude, but...you are what you are. Just a hard to get along with, combative, malcontent.
This is what greeted me today, on the other site. Now, I've blogged a bit here, and more over there now that it's become a nice site again, and minded my own business. I did write how one of them had to return last week to try and sound like they were so influential and important over here, attempting to create drama. My response - no one cares. And we still don't. But, I guess when you need to create drama, that's one way to do it. So in response to her blog, although normally I don't bother, because she's really not worth my time or acknowledgement. Here it is in it's entirety, along with her own comments on it and one of her multiple socks. Although the picture doesn't show, if you click on the question mark, it does come up. Not that I think anyone cares, but I thought I'd post her obsessiveness in all it's glory.
Here's the actual link, but I have no doubt it'll go *poof* just like the other one.
I've removed the link, as the blog has been deleted and their profile cancelled, as per usual. I have no doubt it'll be back again.
The blog obviously states that I'm known as a trouble-maker and gossip, and yet, I've rarely been here and interacted with only two people. So who's the gossip? Seems to me it's the person that wrote this blog and her sidekick. How could I be a known troublemaker and gossip unless someone was gossiping about me? Hmmm?
Green isn't a very good colour on either of you.
Do I care? Nope. She will do what she's always done. And I will continue to blog where and how I choose. But I will continue to take screen shots of the drama queen and her need for revenge.
So carry on. Screen shots are wonderful things, and you are making yourself look like the absolute jerk. Like I said in my last blog, I guess there's just not enough drama here for you. Keep on keeping on, maybe the stars will lead you to more positive endeavours.
What a sad life you must lead.
What Possesses Some People?
Well, one thing for sure, online, you'll find all kinds of behaviour. What I wonder is, what do people get out of behaving in such a bizarre fashion?
As mentioned when I first came here, I left an unmoderated site that was full of high drama, attack blogs where people were named, and manipulation of the actual look of the site. One member here (and there) posted this site for us to come and blog here, where there was moderation and we didn't have to put up with this aberrant behaviour.
So over here we came. Ahhh, how nice! Except the person that created all the garbage over there also moved over here. Okay, no problem, we didn't have to interact.
Finally, over on the other site, a moderator showed up and booted all the troublemakers. One in particular used to have numerous sock puppets over there, and would play this stupid, 'I've been a member of CS since 2010 and you don't know who I am there, game.' Obviously, they thought they were incredibly important.
With the site over there back to 'normal' - it was wonderful! No drama, no attack blogs, no attacks on other people's blogs, just thoughts and experiences. Yeah, you know, what blogging is SUPPOSED to be.
Well, the person with the numerous sock puppets shows up two days ago and writes a blog (no comments allowed) on how we're all getting along and how proud they are of us (like we care) and again, how we don't know who they are over here. Like it's some big secret and we're supposed to give a damn and they're so important we're some little kids waiting for Mom to give us praise or permission for something. How they've interacted with all of us, and one they've started a friendship with.
Well, considering one of us had already left, and I hadn't emailed anyone, it was evident that the only other person could be the troublemaker that was banned over at the other site (numerous times - for the same behaviour - but it wasn't her fault, you know). Not a big stretch to come to that conclusion. It was pretty evident who the 'mystery' person was. I still didn't care.
So tell me, what would possess a person to play such stupid, juvenile games and think that anyone would give a rat's a$$ who they were, there or here? They obviously have a higher opinion of themselves and their influence than anyone else does.
One member over there and here, outed the sock from here, and her blog went *poof* - oh what a surprise. Do any of us from there care who she is? Nope. Not in the least. Do any of us from over there, care that the banned member is here? Nope. We're just relieved that the other site is what it's supposed to be and her penchant for high drama is gone.
What possesses someone to behave in such a bizarre way? Do people really care when someone tells them they're someone else on another site and try to make it such a big secret - like they have the 'goods' on others? Imo, that's behaviour that little children indulge in, not adults. I have no time for that crap, but then, consider the source(s), and I suppose, there just isn't enough drama here for them.
All I know is I have zero time or interest for stupid games from people who are supposed to be adults. NEXT!
As mentioned when I first came here, I left an unmoderated site that was full of high drama, attack blogs where people were named, and manipulation of the actual look of the site. One member here (and there) posted this site for us to come and blog here, where there was moderation and we didn't have to put up with this aberrant behaviour.
So over here we came. Ahhh, how nice! Except the person that created all the garbage over there also moved over here. Okay, no problem, we didn't have to interact.
Finally, over on the other site, a moderator showed up and booted all the troublemakers. One in particular used to have numerous sock puppets over there, and would play this stupid, 'I've been a member of CS since 2010 and you don't know who I am there, game.' Obviously, they thought they were incredibly important.
With the site over there back to 'normal' - it was wonderful! No drama, no attack blogs, no attacks on other people's blogs, just thoughts and experiences. Yeah, you know, what blogging is SUPPOSED to be.
Well, the person with the numerous sock puppets shows up two days ago and writes a blog (no comments allowed) on how we're all getting along and how proud they are of us (like we care) and again, how we don't know who they are over here. Like it's some big secret and we're supposed to give a damn and they're so important we're some little kids waiting for Mom to give us praise or permission for something. How they've interacted with all of us, and one they've started a friendship with.
Well, considering one of us had already left, and I hadn't emailed anyone, it was evident that the only other person could be the troublemaker that was banned over at the other site (numerous times - for the same behaviour - but it wasn't her fault, you know). Not a big stretch to come to that conclusion. It was pretty evident who the 'mystery' person was. I still didn't care.
So tell me, what would possess a person to play such stupid, juvenile games and think that anyone would give a rat's a$$ who they were, there or here? They obviously have a higher opinion of themselves and their influence than anyone else does.
One member over there and here, outed the sock from here, and her blog went *poof* - oh what a surprise. Do any of us from there care who she is? Nope. Not in the least. Do any of us from over there, care that the banned member is here? Nope. We're just relieved that the other site is what it's supposed to be and her penchant for high drama is gone.
What possesses someone to behave in such a bizarre way? Do people really care when someone tells them they're someone else on another site and try to make it such a big secret - like they have the 'goods' on others? Imo, that's behaviour that little children indulge in, not adults. I have no time for that crap, but then, consider the source(s), and I suppose, there just isn't enough drama here for them.
All I know is I have zero time or interest for stupid games from people who are supposed to be adults. NEXT!
Psychological warfare!
Now, being on here for around a week, I had lots of traffic in my inbox. It is very long time ago that I participated on a dating site. First: compared to other dating sites, I find many people here on CS, which are nice, kind, genuine and authentic and to get on well with.
What does do surprise me though, is, that some folks are just getting their bully out and seem to have lost all their education and manners.
For me, it is no problem to deal with them, but it is quite amazing how many ridicule and disrespect other members.
I feel sorry for them, because it is a spineless attitude. It does let me think, in certain respects, of the phenomenon of "gaslighting"!
If one is aware and knows the signs of it, then it is much harder for the "gaslighters" to find their prey.
I´m wishing all of you a splendid day!
What does do surprise me though, is, that some folks are just getting their bully out and seem to have lost all their education and manners.
For me, it is no problem to deal with them, but it is quite amazing how many ridicule and disrespect other members.
I feel sorry for them, because it is a spineless attitude. It does let me think, in certain respects, of the phenomenon of "gaslighting"!
If one is aware and knows the signs of it, then it is much harder for the "gaslighters" to find their prey.
I´m wishing all of you a splendid day!
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