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"Unless you can enjoy yourself you cannot help anyone to enjoy. Unless you are really contented with yourself, you cannot serve others; you cannot help others toward their contentment. Unless you are overflowing with your own bliss you are a danger to society, because a person who sacrifices always becomes a sadist. If your mother goes on talking to you and says that "I have sacrificed myself for you," she will torture you. If the husband goes on saying to the wife that "I am sacrificing," he will be a sadistic torturer. He will torture because sacrifice is just a trick to torture the other.

So those who are always sacrificing are very dangerous - potentially dangerous. Be aware of them, and do not sacrifice. The very word is ugly. Enjoy yourself; be bliss-filled. And when you are overflowing with your own bliss, that bliss will reach to others also. But that is not a sacrifice. No one is obliged to you; no one needs to thank you. Rather, you will feel grateful to others because they have been participating in your bliss. Words like 'sacrifice', 'duty', 'service' are ugly; they are violent. Tantra says that unless you are filled with light, how can you help others to be enlightened?

Be selfish, only then can you be altruistic. Otherwise the whole concept of altruism is nonsense. Be happy; only then can you help others to be happy. If you are sad, unhappy, bitter, you are going to be violent with others and you will create misery for others.

You may become a Mahatma, a so-called great saint; that is not very difficult. But look at your Mahatmas. They are trying in every way to torture everyone who comes to them, but their torturing is very deceptive. They torture you for your own sake; they torture you for your own good. And because they are torturing themselves you cannot say to them, "you are preaching something to us which you are not practicing." They are already practicing it. They are torturing themselves; now they can torture you. And when a torture is for your own good, that is the most dangerous torture: you cannot escape it.

And what is wrong with enjoying yourself? What is wrong in being happy? If there is anything wrong it is always in your unhappiness, because an unhappy person creates ripples of unhappiness all around him. Be happy! And the sex act, the act of love, can be one of the deepest means through which bliss can be attained."

A man and a woman from two distant lands set out to find the truth of themselves
As they set out upon their journey they went from city to city country to country
and met many interesting people places and things of the world around them.
Both had good and bad things happen to them but overall their experiences led them
to who they are.
As they felt at times they were on top of their game and felt complete and needed
nobody to disrupt their path they noticed people they met along their journey were
busy helping them in ways they could not understand. They both thought if everything
was going so well, why does everyone come to them offering help and assistance?

Now there were moments when things and circumstances were bad in their lives and
when they occurred nobody was available and people in whom they thought were their
friends were suddenly busy those moments.
As they both continued their ways pondering these things one day they both met at the
same place in a market and instinctively felt a connection to each other as if they knew
they were having this experience that when things were going good they felt the heavens
smiled upon them. Yet, when things were not so good they felt terribly alone and lost wondering
what did they do wrong in their life.

In time they fell inlove with each other upon this commonality not because they were attracted physically but of a foundation of their experiences were in line with each other.
As time went by, the couple learned many new experiences together but eventually became bored
with each other and were still wondering why when things were going so well they had friends and
fun filled activities etc. Yet, when things were going wrong they felt isolated alone and angry.

So, when they both saw this pattern in their lives they asked their God to help them understand.
Their God answered thus:
You both are my children and I brought you both together as you would be most compatible to learn of me as I know you. When things were going good you forgot about me and took things for granted and assumed as long as everything was going your way you felt invincible. The people you met were legions of angels I sent to keep you safe and from harm and tried to offer you joy along the way.
The moments when you were alone and lost I took those angels away so that you may learn to appreciate what was freely given. Overall, you are rather ungrateful of the things you have and the people who were sent to help you in your path to me. Yet, I hope you learn before its too late that when you are seeking answers to life and my angels I send to you offer you their help you will take what is being offered. You may not like the quality of help, you may not like the quality of angel I send you but, they are for your own good. You may think as long as things are going good in your life nothing can go wrong. But consider my work I do for you and all I get is your complaints more than your gratitude. What I the lord hath brought together let no man put asunder.

Question – Osho, I know for sure that my wife is utterly faithful to me, but still doubt goes on lingering somewhere inside me. What should I do to get rid of the doubt?

Osho – "Avinash,IN THE first place, why should you ask that she should be faithful to you? It is from there that doubtarises. The very desire that your wife should be faithful TO YOU is the beginning of doubt. Why?Who are you that she should be faithful to you? She should be faithful to herself, you should befaithful to yourself.
That’s what love is. If you love the woman, you would like her to be faithful to herself, because you would like her to be authentic. You would like her to be an individual in her own right. Why should you demand that she should be faithful to you? Who are you? – just a stranger.
YOU need not be faithful to her, you have to be faithful to yourself. This is my basic approach; it has to be understood well. Down the ages it has been said: be faithful to your husband, be faithful to your wife, be faithful to this and that. Nobody has told you: be faithful just to yourself.
And that’s exactly what my message is: be faithful to yourself. Then doubt disappears. Doubt is not good, but doubt is a by-product of a desire, a wrong desire – that she should be faithful to you. And how can you except anybody to be faithful to you? In that very expectation, you are asking something so unnatural that doubt will arise.
Who knows? – she may come across a beautiful man, far more beautiful than you are. And you know there are men who are far more beautiful. Fear, doubt, are bound to be there. Who knows? she may be getting fed-up with you!
In fact there is every possibility that you yourself are fed-up with yourself. You know how ugly you are, how ugly your habits are; she must have come to know by now. In the beginning things are different. When you meet a woman on the beach, just for a few hours things are different.
The full moon creates great illusions, and the ocean, and the vibrant air, and the silence, and the night, and the unknown territory… the woman. She is unknown to you, you are unknown to her; both would like to explore each other’s geographies. You are tremendously interested, she is, but once you have travelled the geography so many times, the same contours….
You know you are fed-up with your wife, so deep down the doubt arises that she may be fed-up with you. Don’t ask for faithfulness, ask for freedom. Give freedom so that you can have freedom. And if out of freedom you go on loving each other, it is beautiful. Out of freedom everything has beauty.
But out of a certain duty, if she even remains faithful to you, it has no value. When she comes across a beautiful man on the road and a longing arises in her heart to know this man, to be with this man, but she knows this is not right – she represses it. She has already gone away, she is no more with you. You may be holding her hand in your hand, but she is no more with you.

Her whole being has gone in that moment. She may not ever do anything, but in her fantasy, in her imagination… You cannot control her fantasy, you cannot control her imagination. In her dreams she may be making love to other people. And who makes love to one’s own husband in a dream? Have you ever heard of such a foolish woman or a foolish man? Have you ever made love to your own wife? – one always makes love to other people’s wives in dreams.

hey i'm dhameera ,this is my email-dhameera@hotmail.com
hey i want to dating with good women , i don't care about age or other things i want to girl a who has very kindly hearth

The story is told of Mulla Nasruddin, who got married and spent a pleasant honeymoon with his bride. But one day he came to the office with a rather glum expression on his face. When his fellow clerks asked him what was bothering him he said, ”Gee, I pulled a terrible boner this morning. Getting out of bed I, like an absent-minded jackass, laid down a ten rupee note on the table.”
The other man consoled him. His wife wouldn’t think anything of it, they assured him.
”That isn’t what bothers me.” he answered. ”She gave me three rupees change!”
It may be your own mind. When a beautiful woman passes by, does something happen to you or not? Only in two cases will nothing happen: either you are dead or enlightened – which mean the same! Otherwise something is bound to happen. And then the suspicion: the same must be happening to your woman too, because she is as unenlightened as you are and as alive as you are. Maybe the doubt is there because you are not loving her as much as she would like you to love her.
And it happens to couples – how can you go on having the same peak of love that was there in the beginning, the honeymoon peak? One has to come down. Sooner or later one has to come down from the hills to the ordinary, mundane life.
Sooner or later one has to forget ali poetry, fantasy, romance. And then a fear arises: maybe I am not taking as much care as I should? Maybe this will become an opportunity for her to move with somebody else? Look into yourself….
A husband comes home and finds his wife in bed with a man. He is furious and wants to leave at once. The wife pleads, ”Give me a moment to explain. This man came to my door an hour ago and asked for something to eat. I gave him a sandwich.
I noticed that his shoes were worn out, so I looked in your closet and found a pair that you haven’t had on your feet for five years, and I gave him the shoes to put on. Then I saw that his jacket was very tom, so I went back to your closet and found a jacket that you haven’t worn for eight years. When he took his old jacket off to put yours on, I saw that his shirt was falling to pieces, so I opened your bureau drawer and gave him a shirt that you haven’t worn for the past twelve years.
Then as this man was going out of the door he turned to me and asked, ”Is there anything else around here that your husband doesn’t use?”
Avinash, it is not a question of your wife, it is a question of your own mind. Just look deep down… have you been with her? For how long have you not been with her? – I don’t mean physically, I mean spiritually. For how long have you not seen her face? – just remember; for how long have you not looked into her eyes? Figure it out, and you will be surprised that for years you have taken her for granted, and that may be the cause of your doubt.
Remember, problems are always part of your mind. Go deep into them. In the first place, don’t ask that she should be faithful to you; that is violent. Nobody has the right to ask anybody to be faithful towards him. Help her to be faithful towards herself.
And secondly, look inside your own being. Are you still in love with her? If you are, then the doubt is not possible. The doubt simply reflects that your love has disappeared. Life has become a drag; you have started taking her for granted.
Love is no more there. Now it is only a hangover, hence the doubt. Bring the love back, bring the poetry back, bring the romance back. And those who are intelligent, they can bring it back every day. Every morning they can look at the wife, at the husband, with fresh eyes.
Go on dying to the past experiences, so that you can remain available to the present, fresh, young, utterly intelligent, and then life has a totally different flavor. Then these stupid things don’t arise in the mind at all."

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Someone seems to like me...............................

So I know this shy guy, 40 or so, a fellow writer, who has been fantasizing about meeting a woman who will pick him up and make him happy.

Now a woman who has been a friend for a while is being a bit flirty, AND has made an arrangement which means socially they will now be bumping into each other on a regular basis. He's delighted - but not sure how to react. He's very shy. He also wants her in charge, how does he show he's interested, and yet still have her setting the pace?

I personally will reach out once or twice but if the guy ignores it, that's it, for me. Not risking rejection. But if both of them are too shy to take a risk ....

Singer song writer Paul Simon, There are 50 ways to leave your lover. That's about 49 to complicated for me.
Looking more closly at the problem we see that he Said this in 1975 and that was when america was just emerging from the smoke of the summer of love. Surly there must be Just one older and time tested way of getting the Job done..

Lets ask a real man shall we

Gathered here and there are a bunch of diverse intelligent and not so intelligent beings, some are good looking most are not, some are just an outline of a presumed gender.

I’ve been here a while and have seen a glut of prospects, met quite a few and exchanged bodily fluids with a fair few, I’ve seen the tumbleweeds blowing through this place like a deserted town too.

I know that many people who used to grace our blogs do visit incognito, maybe just to laugh at us or perhaps check out a crush, who knows.

I’ve talked to many, most seem to fade away after a few messages, some have stood the test of time and chats are daily occurrences.

So what’s the problem? Apart from a few lucky souls most of us remain in stasis, not moving forward at all, Is it age barriers?, Is it geographical anomalies?, or is it lack of commitment?

I’d say that most here don’t want someone, they need someone, but their needs are very different to what others need, some may just want a bloke with money, some men just need a cleaner or mommy figure, but each one of us has something special to offer a potential mate, I don’t think that we probably know what we do have that will appeal to a mate, only by messaging and talking will we find out.

So we are undateables on paper but in real life we probably are very datable, most of us have been on our own for many years and have our quirks, so only by messaging, talking and actually being proactive will we make progress, sitting back and waiting for someone to message us is a waste of time.

Message someone, talk to your crush, time's limited, none of us will live forever.

Most Men are better at rational thinking and controlling our emotions, because we don’t need validation or affection to go about our business, but Most women do

Most Women need validation on their looks, performance, weight and choices far more than men do, because men are much less emotional and control our thoughts better

Example – A woman suffering from PMT can be very irrational and snap at all around her or just do things that make no sense…This is not a bash when it is fact
Example – A woman seeking validation – Do I look fat in this(correct answer – no it fits you fine) true answer – Yes it looks awful on you
Example – A woman seeking validation – Does she look prettier than me(correct answer – Of course not, she’s not even in your league)Real answer – corr yeah I bet she’s a sex kitten for sure
Example – A woman seeking validation – Did you enjoy the sex?(correct answer – you wore me out and took me to heaven) Real answer – You need some lessons in pleasing a guy and keeping a guys interest up

The questions are asked, but they are asked to seek validation and not receive an honest answer, so you would find yourself in the dog house, if indeed you did not validate the question with the correct answer

What do others think about this subject of validation and the problems with not giving the correct answer



I enjoyed writing this blog and it made me laugh
I can cover a real subjects with humour and still states facts