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Last Commented Humor Poems (1,868)

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Ticker Tape Parade

Ticker Tape Parade

Tick me off again And see the flare of my pen Once I could say naught Now I can say and not be caught So it's up to you gang up on the side you want But think now and then Before you tick me off again Hesitate before you say amen Years ha

Two Strikes

Two Strikes

Long ago I sent lara croft a friend request on face book I got turned down Long ago I dedicated a song to her at karaoke It was called ocean front property I guess I guess lara croft doesn't like me Well after two strikes I said that was the

Always Like That

Always Like That

Always like that That's what they say about him But why do they get so mad Oh were they always like that Just what has he done Has he hurt anyone Why do they make fun Or were they always like that Some people are the jury Some people ar

Neighbor Ned

Neighbor Ned

I have a neighbor I'll just call him neighbor ned When I was seven or eight he hit me over the head It was a short 2by4 but tap tap tap went neighbor ned You see he had an intelligent plan And with that 2by4 in his hand And what no one till n

Tom Fiddlebox

Tom Fiddlebox

My name is Tom Fiddlebox, I have lost my colored socks. I married a fox, But she turned out to be an ox. My name is Tom Fiddlebox, I work on broken clocks. I saw a fish, who talks, It sank my boat out on the docks. My name is Tom Fiddlebox,

Kato Had Some Playdough

Kato Had Some Playdough

Kato had some playdough He made a pink panther And took him to his school All the kids gathered around Made a happy sound They thought pink panther playdough was cool They did a pink panther dance And when the teacher got the chance She t

Macri gato

Macri gato

President Macri is a cat

incorrigible

incorrigible

I am no one I know you like me you aren't that good you know I'm a punk and you like when I don't give a f*ck about you and all your romance is f*cking retarded and tomorrow I don't care if you like me I somehow fell in love and your whi

NO MORE FREEBIRD Listen to Freebird as you sing along

NO MORE FREEBIRD (Listen to Freebird as you sing along)

There was a discussion on a band page about how entertainers are tired of being asked to sing Freebird while they are setting up. So I wrote... "Freebird is very popular and it brings back a lot of good memories for some people. I suggest that bands modify the song to make it fun for you. The most popular part is the outro ending. So if your band has a sax or 2 play it with the sax. If you have a very ambitious drummer, play it with the drums. Play just the last verse and ending. Be creative and change the words." After posting that to the website, my friend dared me to rewrite Freebird to express the sentiment. So, I did.

A Funny Story in Song

A Funny Story in Song...

Song/Artist in case you don’t know or forgot… The Night Chicago Died/Paper Lace; Photograph/Def Leppard; Sister Christian/Night Ranger; Centerfold/J. Geils; Red Red Wine/UB40; Wild World/Cat Stevens; Boys of Summer/Don Henley; Keep on Smiling/Wet Willie; Rock Lobster/B52s; Two Pina Coladas/Garth Brooks; Friends in Low Places/Garth Brooks; That Smell/Lynyrd Skynyrd; Jumpin' Jack Flash/Rolling Stones; Hell's Bells/ACDC; Black Magic Woman/Santana or Mac; Ladies Night/K&G; Brother Louie/Stories; Waiting For A Girl Like You/Foreigner; Mandy/Manilow; People Get Ready/Rod Stewart; Rock The Casbah/The Clash; Brandy/Looking Glass; The Boys Are Back in Town/Thin Lizzy; One Tin Soldier/Joan Baez; Horse With No Name/America; Bad Bad Leroy Brown/Jim Croce; Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band/Beatles; Go on Take the Money and Run/Steve Miller Band; Don’t Take The Girl/Tim McGraw; Midnight Special/Creedence; Home By The Sea/Phil Collins; Island Girl/Elton John; Jukebox Hero/Foreigner; No No/Ringo Starr; Neon Moon/Brooks and Dunn; Bad to the Bone/ZZ Top; All I Want to Do is Make Love To You/Heart; Nights in White Satin/Moody Blues; Gimme all your lovin'/ZZ Top; Two Tickets to Paradise/Eddie Money; Bang Your Head/Quiet Riot; Pina Colada Song/Jimmy Buffet; Believe/Cher; Love Story/Katharine McPhee; Sitting on the Dock of the Bay/Otis Redding; Ahab the Arab/Ray Stevens; I Shot the Sheriff/Eric Clapton; Don’t Mess Around With Jim/Jim Croce; Big John/Johnny Cash; Get Together/Youngbloods; Layla/Eric Clapton; Solitary Man/Neil Diamond; Do you think I’m Sexy/Rod Stewart; You Better You Bet/The Who; Jet Airliner/Steve Miller; Rio/ Duran Duran; Magic Carpet Ride/Crystal Method; Midnight Train to Georgia/Gladys Knight; Band On The Run/Paul McCartney and Wings; I Swear/John Michael Montgomery; I’ve Got Too Much Time On My Hands/Styx; Keep on Rockin’ Me Baby/Steve Miller Band

**_**

Better To Give Without Promising ... What To Promise Without Holding ...

Doctor humour 2

Doctor humour 2

Adapted from a Frank Carson joke

Mannish

Mannish

As I look back on my adolescence I realize I was quite precocious, the folk back then called it "mannish" in regard to boy's, and "womalish" in the case of girl's. I laughed out loud several times as I penned these memories. I hope the reader gets as much enjoyment from the reading, as I have the writing. ( I don't know if this should go under the catagory of "child" or " humor" ? Child humor?.

Sweet treats

Sweet treats

A yummy yummy couplet

That is Me

That is Me

Well, That is me.....

INTERNAL LIE DETECTOR

INTERNAL LIE DETECTOR

Real reaction I feel when I'm untruthful, whether on purpose or not.

Dilemma Lemon

Dilemma Lemon

I got something you want to read You got something you want to say But you can't say a thing cause you don't write Now aint that a dilemma lemon So here is another line Won't you take another bite Detectives are everywhere but poetry is no

Cousins

Cousins

I like my cousins they all like me They're the best cousins that ever could be They've all got medals for good behavior And they are humble naturally They're all good lookin' with hearts of gold And talk of bravery there's none so bold The

The Doctor

The Doctor

My mind keeps playing the role of a doctor Another therapy session every day or two There was a girl that's why my chart has lots of pages doctor My mind keeps trying to fix my heart from missing you The doctor says this is all very confidentia

the other day

the other day

damn tree, and its roots

Prank Videos Ive Watched

Prank Videos I've Watched

I've been spending a lot of my time on the internet watching various prank videos. The fake eggs is my favorite.

13 26

13/26

Competition, who can write the longest sequence of rhyme using only one entry per time per letter in the alphabet. e.g. collide and cried is not allowed, just use one. I got through 13/26 letters in this one. Wonder if at, bat, cat could go more? Over to you if you can beat 13..

Lower Back Pain

Lower Back Pain

I've got Lower Back Pain and its so hurt.

Our World

Our World

Lets start a whole new world, just you and me, we will banish bankers, politicans, big business,leave everyone equal, how would THAT be?, are they as equal as me, hey, I'm taller, I need more space, cant be stuck face to face, and theres another, h

Mountain full of Gold

Mountain full of Gold

Is a music like I toke as a poem

Nothing

Nothing

I think I should write about NOTHING, cause today, I have NOTHING to say, and NOTHING is more than its parts, it can ease or break many hearts, NOTHING means such a lot, you either have or you have not!, And NOTHING plays such a part, NOTHING can't g

Well this is how it is

Well, this is how it is!

So the Russians are on our shore, monstrous entity too big to IGNORE, and we will float out with our toys, pretend we are bigger, lies, we are just tiny,, little one fishing trawler,, ok,,, we know you are taller, you go away,,, and Ill have nothi

SMUGJOY

SMUGJOY

Close to dawn well before the first slivers of sun you already foresaw with a shiver of glee what a wonderful day it was going to be so why do a repeat? Because towards twilight there'll be double-delight in the pro

Joe

Joe

What good are all your millions Joe, if you have to pee and you can’t go!

Gardeners Dilemma

Gardeners Dilemma!

Marigolds in June can thrive, its Cosmos that do survive, in April and May, who knows what to say, but certain roses bloom all year round, Chantilly Lace shows its grace, but Cinnamon Snow is the way to go. I think, well, it's swim or sink!

Older questions

Older questions!

At twenty one and twenty five, you wonder who will be alive, at forty one and forty five, you just don't know who will thrive, at fifty one and sixty one, you wonder why you're not gone!

Onward we go

Onward we go.

The art of communication has changed, rearranged, instead of "I said", its now, "I was like" instead of " I said back" it's "I turned around and said", so they are constantly turning around (for no reason) being like something (for no reason) and T

THE F word

THE F-word

freedom is learning out of education time essential for knowledge.

Words Of Love Act 1

Words Of Love Act: 1

I sketched this down in 12/93. This is one of three I came across.

Just dont

Just don't!

Secret intelligence from the survelliance "mast", shows life cant continue, it's growing too fast, ozone layers, emissions from cars, carbon footprints, it just can't last, The earth is heating up all too soon, the ice cap is melting, it's no

Pythagoras

The marvel of the Ancient Greeks.... The term pi, was not used by Pythagoras, at the time...(hence the inverted commas)....But it amounts to the SAME thing!....(The ratio of a circle's circumference/diameter), and he DID wonder rather a lot about that!

The Old Codger

I talk to the old codger But he's an old dodger As sly as a wisp of smoke In due proportions Not gross distortions I now beseech You old bloke To present the question (That's just a suggestion) In format that's not from Mars Or have y

The blogs are ok

An original lcbr poem, (from the blogs)......

Be real: Ace Poet Part 2

Original lcbr poem (edited slightly)....from the blogs....(A bit of shameless self-promotion!)

Really its only paper anyway

Really, it's only paper anyway!

I HATE when people tell me money does not grow on trees, its so annoying, I KNOW MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, I looked! But where does it grow?, not anywhere you or I know, tis in the coffers of the rich and powerful, in foolish hands, in fore

"World's Head Honchos Playing Hide-n-Seek!"

This whimsical poem anthropomorphizes global organizations as players in a game of hide-and-seek, symbolizing the complexities and hidden actions of global politics and economics. It playfully critiques the elites who navigate these institutions, subtly wielding power. Despite its light-hearted tone, it acknowledges the grave consequences of their decisions. The poem aims to make the abstract concept of global governance relatable, aiming to provoke thought and discussion. The poem was written with a spirit of light-hearted cynicism, highlighting the absurdity of these power dynamics, yet it carries an underlying hope for a more transparent, shared global governance. This ode falls under the category of "Satirical Poetry." Satirical poetry uses humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. In this case, the ode humorously critiques the often unseen actions of global elites, symbolized by leaders of major international organizations, and their effect on world affairs.

White van man

White van man

turning expectation on its head

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