Limericks
Just for fun
couplet poem dance
beth danced to rhyme most of the daytime she was still bright dancing in the night those she would meet beth had dancing feet
Profiling the Poet
I am a: -uh,Guy Seeking: -she who wears lipstick, and never gets a run in her nylons Location: -under a bridge Last Online: -I think it's now Height: -13 ft. 9 inches Body Type: - Greek God Hair Color: -Samson wine Eye Color: -Electric
My First Time
True story. Kathy was fourteen and experienced. I was eighteen and green. Fortunately, she didn't get pregnant. Her mom came home later and Kathy walked me to the car, then I realized I had left my wallet in the bedroom when I got the condom out. She went back in to get it and after a couple of minutes her mom called out, "What color is it?" I managed to choke out, "Black." Kathy came out with it a moment later. I asked her what she had told her mom and she said that the kids were playing hide and seek with it. lol
halloween
halloween is a very scary day great for the children to get scared
Till Death Do Us Part
Bill and Kimmy's married bliss Went on for just a year. But something then became amiss And Kimmy's health got queer. When making love nigh every time She fainted straight away. So they told the doc about this sign To see what he would say. I
Ode To Tom Robbins
Can someone guess the title full? But not tell yet today? Just post that you have figured out, And email straight away. When all have had a chance to muse, I'll tell the winner true. Let's have some fun and see who wins, Perhaps it might be you!
paddys shotgun wedding
Well on the day that paddy and mary were to wed marys family found him tucked up in his bed eventually with much protest he finally made the church though he fully intended to leave her in the lurch you see he loved his freedom but he just c
flowers and nettles
Flowers cannot hurt you only bring you joy serenity and fragrance is their employ stingy nettles hurt you only bring you ouches serenity and fragrance aint their employ dock leaves are answer bring relief lots of finger rubbing elimina
the removers
last part of my off the wall humor story
Waddle Waddle-
I wrote this on a napkin at Karoke bar with my friend who was 8 mths pregnant jammin to song Wobble, Wobble Shake Shake.
domestic bliss part 2
When mary on the next day saw the mess she made she murmured once again you see as in the bed he laid his knee was very swollen and bruised and marked so red paddy had the luxury of languishing in bed She realized her temper had partly on
domestic bliss part1
Now mary hated serving her hubby paddy found so her getting a cup of tea with slippers and a scone the odds of it arriving were 25 to 1 Now paddy loved the horses while mary had to work that's it she said one afternoon i cant take anymore
Three Wishes
WALKING ALONG THE BEACH I CAME ACROSS A LAMP OLD AND TIRED IT LOOKED SO I TOOK IT HOME AND GAVE IT A WIPE OH BLEES MY SOUL A GENIE HE DID POP OUT BIG AND HUGH AND SMELLING OF STOUT WITH A MIGHTY CRY HE BELOWED OUT YES MASTER WHAT DO YOU WANT
If Men Were?
No men were harmed in the making of this poem..
Surrender (To John)
I Most humbly do beg your pardon That I have caused your heart to harden I am no man youth or lout I do not have large muscles or clout For I am small and sweet and light I do not wish to kill or fight I do not like to cuss or scream I
the golfer
One could sense the trepidation and the feel of wonderment in the voice the commentator upper class english gent a man stood tall with his stick and ball poised positioned and ever pensive firm resolve and ready as he stood at the 18th hole
paddys missus final part
When he saw his mrs crying he could not believe his eyes to think you cry for me i am touched paddy said and his face went red my word how she loves me but the tears were of temper with despair and anger too she howled inside at the prospect
HEY!
For any middle age "Gentleman", that has disgraced himself recently at a party........LOL.........Andrew........xxx
paddys missus
to be sure the return of paddy tis not a welcome sight especially to his mrs who had such peace in that fortnight mind he d only gone shopping for the weekend groceries he when his bike hit a stone in the road and he crashed into the tree an
An Immodest Proposal
It's fun and it's free!
fuzzy thoughts
A trick an illusion, atomic fusion, death rebirth, worry and strife, mystical fanasy not real, not life, energy in motion, lifegiving potion, I'll take the red pill you take the blue, follow the rabbit, see how the cuckooo flew, Change directio
Is is What Was Was?
This poem I read almost every day while enjoying my homeschooling through high school. I kept psychoanalyzing it all, when all I really needed to do was agree with it lol
The most desirable woman in the world.
She is so sexy, she is so hot Moves weird and makes me rag Laughs shamelessly and wild My body pains from my desire. Unpretentious she looks around Nothing interesting she found Throws her shoes, her dirty dress So easily reveals her b
who are they
A bird in the hand is worth two in a bush that is what they say but what do you do if you have no bush and the bird in your hand flys away with your empty hand you can scratch your head to ponder this strange affair a watched kettle never bo
roadrunner
roadrunner beep beep wiley cunning pesky dog gone it, he strikes again roadrunner
eskimos kiss
why do eskimos kiss with the nose dont they know how much they miss what a waste of lips by those ice cold tips dont they know how much kissing they miss on cold winter nights on cold winter days when snuggled up warm warm and tight w
why dont trees go cold
Why dont trees go cold when they shed their leaves they dont get a chill when the wind blows ill maybe the sneeze sending leaves off the trees its a theory not so hot when the autumn comes and the tree goes bare for leaves they do h
Check this out...
Chorus from the John Prine song, "Living in the Future" "We are living in the future I'll tell you how I know I read it in the paper Fifteen years ago We're all driving rocket ships And talking with our minds And wearing turquoise jewelry A
a turkeys lot..is not a happy one
well a turkeys lot is not a happy one as thanksgiving and christmas appear all my plans going up in smoke as i will by the end of the year its just not fair not ruddy bit to be born as a turkey gobble its just not fair for i ve got dre
Vanity
I know that you are pretty I know you know it too But who thinks you the prettier? Is it me or you?
Dictaphone
amazing...but true ;-)
limerick
There was a young woman from skye who sang softly as she sauntered by with the wind in her hair and with barely a care and a gleam and smile in her eye
Cinderella and her friends
Imagination is good Isn't is wonderful when we can be free to think Al of these adventures have served a purpose Blessings and love to all
what am i
i am under 12 inches and i do not speak a word but when i act all i say is heard i can be royal i can be poor i can call you or send you away i can be your aid even though unpaid praise is rare for me you may one day agree this may
The Jester
Some people are so-o-o-o-o funny!
To Mary Jane, A Morning Toast!
From a light, occaisional user...
Undecypherable?
Spaces and punctuation intentionally omitted. Prizes for first correct and most imaginative solutions. :D
animal fun
Zebras of the army type covered by numerous stripe and the telephone too extra special mobile trunk call elephant style some never stick their neck out but giraffes are born to do crocodile turned into handbags what is the world coming too
Dude
kinda funny i guess but I wanted to try posting something
A Man behind the Mask
He is a man in the past Keep something in his heart Keep something in his mind His words reflect his mask Hiding behind his own truth There is a fear to face the world His heart was broken so many times His heart feels something to explode
The Flintstones
Life is a cartoon I compare my journey the the people in Bedrock Fred Flintstone and company The trials and tribulations ahead Blessings love to all A positive outlook A sense of humour pleasant thoughts always