Catfoot Blog

A Complete Circle

Life makes a complete circle and in most cases, several of them; almost like a wheel. The closer you are to the center of the wheel the smoother is your ride.

However, you cannot win if you do not dare. When you live near the rim of the wheel, life is more interesting. Your ups will be more exciting and your downs more spectacular. When on top, the view will be great but when you go down, you will be dragged through the dust. And when it rains, it will be mud.

On your journey through life, you will overtake some people and some will overtake you. While coming down, you will seldom have much control. It is much like parachuting. You can pull a few strings here and there to choose the best landing spot but down you will go. Some people have the knack to run to the center of the wheel when it starts going down. Others try to stay on top by running on the rim; like a monkey riding a barrel. While it works, it is fine but when you lose your footing, down you go.

Going up is trickier. You have to be careful whom you walk over on your way up for those very people may overtake you again. What goes up, must come down… eventually. A helping hand to somebody going down may (or may not) be remembered later but a kick in the face will certainly not be forgotten.

And when you’re down, get up quickly. Life will not wait for you. Afterwards the people will not remember you for how far you fell. The circumstances that led to your fall will soon be forgotten. You will be remembered for how fast you got up again.

A wonderful day to you all and may it be exceptionally good for all you mommies out there.

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May 2015
in Opinionated
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A Closer Look At The Wheel.

There cannot be much doubt about the greatest invention ever. I’m sure very few people will deny the wheel that honor. Very little of what we do today could have been achieved without a wheel somewhere in the works but it also was a big obstacle in the way of development. With no wheels rolling around, transporting passengers and freight across dry land would have been problematic and we would have been forced to invent flight 2,000 years earlier.

So what is it that makes the wheel so special? Well, for one, it can roll down a hill and because it could not keep the direction for long, it led to the invention of another type of wheel – the steering wheel; thus creating job opportunities for countless people. But this ability to roll downhill is not all good because the vehicle attached to the set of wheels often ran away from the owner. This led to yet another new invention called the handbrake, once again creating employment to many more people.

Of course, this exposed a serious flaw in the design of the wheel. It should not have been round. A square wheel will not run away when parked on an incline. Granted, not needing a handbrake would have deprived some people the opportunity of earning money but it would have saved a lot of natural resources.

However, this ability to roll downhill is not all bad and can be put to work with good effect. By fitting much larger rear wheels and smaller front wheels the car is permanently on an incline and runs downhill all the way; not only moving faster but also saving you a lot of petrol.

For the benefit of our American friends, petrol is what you call gas. You ought to look at the stuff next time you fill up. It is a liquid, not a gas.

New inventions, like the pneumatic tire brought more problems. They go flat at the bottom. I don’t know why they don’t fit the tires so the (flat) bottom is at the top. Then it will run smoothly even though it is flat. This sounds like a modification that the owner can do on his driveway. Car wheels are kept in position by nuts. If you have ever changed a car wheel, you are probably a nut as well.

A great day to all and don't let your wheels come off.

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Apr 2015
in Opinionated
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Just In Time

It would appear that I moved just in time from that granny flat in my sister’s backyard. On Friday, while they were at work, they became the victims of a burglary for the second time in just over a year.

While they are well insured, I did not bother with insurance because I did not plan to live there as long as I did. Mind you, they may not have bothered with the granny flat.

The thieves forced the security gate and the front door with a crowbar, gained access to the garage via the kitchen, pulled their vehicle (a white LDV) into the garage, closed the door, and ransacked the house. They must have spent several hours in the house. It is possible that they made two trips to get the stuff away. They took the TV (not the decoder), laptop, kitchen appliances, a toolbox, and even the new (empty) safe that I promised to build into the wall this weekend.

They systematically emptied the contents of drawers, cupboards, wardrobes, fridges and freezers into bags (left some behind after they left) leaving not even a nail clipper behind. Even open jars with half the contents being used, were taken.

The police call them the Crowbar gang. Apparently, two men and two women raid the houses while another man and woman patrol outside in a white Toyota. They have been operating for about two years. Now, if the police know so much about them, why can’t they be apprehended?

But the strangest of all is that nobody saw a thing and there is no garden wall to limit the sight. Another strange thing is that the thieves did not take quite everything. The pork, bacon, and ham remained untouched.

.

My sister says she would have been less unhappy if they took the freezers as well so she could have claimed two new freezers. My brother-in-law says they were very mean to take his peanut butter. I hope they are still as light-hearted when the insurance settles their claim.

And for some reason my sister lost her dislike for burglar alarms. They’re having one installed next week. A bit late, I should think.

I hope you have a great week coming.

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Apr 2015
in News
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Stormy Skies And Gales.

With winter approaching, we’re having a typical late autumn day. It is unpleasant outside. The sky is clear but there is a cold gale-force South Easter howling round the corners of the house.

When the Portuguese first arrived here, the wind blew them off the map and they aptly named it Cape of Storms. Later, when Sir Francis Drake arrived here on a glorious summer day and he saw Table Mountain in all its glory, he renamed us to Cape of Good Hope but I think the Portuguese got it right first time.

I’m living upstairs while working on the house. It is warm and snug here. I have a fire going and I’m sitting at the window looking down at the street while the wind bends the trees and chases the reds, browns, and gold of autumn down the road. There is an ominous bank of clouds sitting on the northern horizon but it won’t rain yet. It is the wrong wind for that. Our rain comes with the North Western wind.

They call this wind the Cape Doctor because it brings rain to the interior of the country but doctor or no doctor; it is no good omen to us here in Cape Town. This is the wind that takes roofs off and blows shacks over, starting fires in the process. A lot of poor families may be homeless by tomorrow. And if the wind turns, the rain will soon follow to add to their misery.

Let’s be grateful for having a roof – no matter how humble - over our heads. Not everybody have that privilege.

You have a great day out there!

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Apr 2015
in News
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Five Things I Can Do Without

There are things and gadgets I cannot do without but there are some things I really don’t want in my home. They just clutter up my home but apparently I need them in my life.

On top of my list sits that square one-eyed monstrosity with his flat face connected via cables to a DSTV decoder, DVD player, and speakers. All I ever watch on it is the odd game of rugby and a bit of cricket when I can find the time. I may as well get rid of it and watch the games in a pub but this is the main attraction that makes my house the preferred venue for rugby parties. The only advantage in that is that I don’t have to drive back home.

Next on my list are smart phones and tablets. All I want is a device that I can use to make and receive calls. To hell with the camera, music player, and all other gadgets on it. My daughter gave me one as a present but I never use it. It sits on my desk, only she knows the number, and I still use my old phone.

CDs & DVDs with the associated racks and players are next on the list. They just take up space. All my music and movies are on a fat external hard drive and the music I want to listen to at the time goes on a USB memory stick. Small, tidy, out of sight and it even works in my car.

A conventional stove is another thing I don’t need but without it, the kitchen looks bare. All I ever use is the oven. What I need is an eye-level oven. Between the electric frying pan, electric steam cooker, electric pressure cooker, and microwave oven, I get everything else done.

Then, in conclusion, the last thing I need in my life is a nagging wife!

My late mother was a compulsive nagger and as a child, I had to listen to it from the morning to the night. Now that I have a choice, I refuse to listen to it. The quickest and surest way for a woman to get rid of me is to start nagging. Then I run for the ~~hills~~ fish waters.

I suppose there are many other things I can do without but these are the things that bother me most. Now don’t sit and fry on it as I sometime do. Get rid of the things you don’t need in your life, you’re better of without it.

A great day to you all.

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Apr 2015
in Entertainment
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A Home At Last

At last I have my own place again. When I saw the place, I fell in love with it. It had been badly vandalized during the last year since the previous owner absconded to Mozambique.

All the electrical fittings, wires, and cables were stolen. All the plumbing, including the hot water cylinder, were ripped out. Almost every room have holes in the ceilings as they were searching for the hot water cylinder, aluminum sliding doors and window frames were broken out and even the swimming pool (15 cm of filthy water) filter and pump were stolen and most of the gutters were destroyed.

The house was truly in a bad state but there were so many plusses. Four bedrooms, a massive 75 square meter barbeque room, a garage big enough for three cars, and to top it all, a cozy granny flat. Ah, and then I did not even mention the other 75 sq meter room sitting on top of the barbeque room, also with a fire place and a large balcony.

I made a ridiculous offer for the place, which I thought the bank would reject but they accepted and I became the owner of a 20-year-old ruin.

But now, only a few weeks later, I have rewired the place, restored the plumbing, and had new windows and doors fitted where they were broken out. I have contracted a plumber to install a new hot water cylinder. They installed it on Friday and I have just moved in. Now I’ll tackle the ceilings and have the place painted, leaving the pool for last. I never wanted one. Too much work!

Well, now you know what kept me away from CS for so long, and I suspect that I’ll be busy here for quite a while.

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Apr 2015
in Family
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Is there life out there?

The search for intelligent life goes on but right now any life form will do. Over here it is Friday, 10 PM and I have just returned home after visiting a friend. But where is everybody?

My sister and her husband are out out (probably at the casino), my cat is on the prowl and CS is quiet as a mouse. Not even a scammer around.

Except for this one.

Some people have all the luck. Maybe I must take lessons from him. My scams never work. Anybody who is giving lessons?

I'm a bit strapped for cash at the moment but I will pay for the lessons as soon as I have pulled off a good scam.

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Feb 2015
in Comedy
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Life Is But A Gamble

Living our lives is very much like gambling and we have to play our chips very carefully if we hope to gain. Everything that we attempt has a risk of failing, sometimes due to factors completely beyond our control.

Before we embark on any big venture, we should consider the odds of success and weigh it up against the impact that failure may have on our lives. While your current employment may not be perfect, you know what you have to deal with but you don’t know what you’re getting into when you when you take up that ‘wonderful’ new job. The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence; as one of my friends discovered last year.

But you do have to take some risks in life if you want to gain. You cannot win if you do not play but you must decide what to pursue and what to ignore.

If you bet too low, you won’t lose much if you fail but your gain won’t be much either if you win. On the other hand, if you put too much on the stake, you may lose everything.

There is no sure winner in a horse race. We constantly have to weigh up the odds of success vs. the impact of failure. If failure can clean you out, cut your losses and drop out while you can still do so gracefully.

It all boils down to knowing when to hold, when to fold, when to walk away and when to run.

Chill out. It is Friday!

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Feb 2015
in Opinionated
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No Blog Today.Lol

I have cancelled the rest of my day due to a lack of motivation and a surplus of headache. But what a day it was! I even danced and that is a very rare event. And today I’m looking for a dark corner where I can curl up to ‘rest’ my ‘tiredness’ away.

The day did not start well. I woke up much earlier than planned, my stomach did not feel too well and I had an acute need to take fruit salts but I could not bring it anywhere close to my head. It made too much noise and once the noise stopped, it was flat. I wonder what caused the headache; maybe I did not sleep enough. It could not have been the fish; it has never done that before. But I felt much better after a nice fatty breakfast. Bacon, egg and sausage never tasted better.

Of course, I ended up grilling the fish, as is the custom around here. Apparently handing in your birth certificate does not help. Birth leave is only given on the day you are born and not on the anniversaries thereof. Those are normal working days; or so it was explained to me. I should have smelled a rat when everybody suggested fish for yesterday. This is the kind of friends that I have.

The worst of it is that the real party (for the family) is only coming up this Saturday and it became a triple event now because my late brother’s daughter had her birthday last week and my sister is having hers on Thursday. I wonder if I can still withdraw at this late stage, I’m getting too old for this.

I hope your day is better than mine.

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Feb 2015
in Opinionated
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Is it wrong?

What do I do or say say now? Is it wrong to have a birthday? In that case I do apologize to all involved for doing do. I meant no harm. I did not pick the day I was born on and it is not my fault if you did not enjoy yours.

But why am I apologizing? For the second time since I'm here, I ask you, am I such a piece of shit? Tell me now and I will leave because I have never done anybody no harm. I cannot help if you have a bee in your bonnet.

The previous time I posted a blog like this, CS preferred to delete the blog after two days but that was under other circumstances, so I say again, tell me now and I tell leave. I don't need this in my life.

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Feb 2015
in Opinionated
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A Very Special Day

Something very special happened to me this morning. This is something that happened only sixty two times before today. I became one day older. At 2:10 AM this morning (GMT-2) on this 23rd day of February (for the first time in my life

) I turned 63.

Yes, I know that most of you already wished me on Saturday, which technically was a false alarm but a dear friend here in Blogland was not sure if she would be able to wish me today so she though it prudent to do it on Saturday. This blog is only to set the record straight re my actual birth date and to thank each of you for the early well wishes.

I’ll had a late breakfast with some of my friends (thanks Hans) and will be entertained by the other at one of their homes for the rest of the day and early evening where we plan to make merry and to grill two large snoek (baracuta – not baracuda) on a bed of charcoal in the process.

I expect to be home by 9 PM and I will drop in for a few minutes if I am not too ‘tired’.

May your day be as wonderful as my day promises to be.

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Feb 2015
in Family
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Talking To Yourself?

Do you talk to yourself? I grew up believing that it is the first sign of insanity but apparently it is not so bad. Only when you have full conversations with yourself, you need to get worried. It may be a sign of schizophrenia.

Normal conversation is defined as verbal exchanges between two or more persons; therefore talking to oneself can hardly be described as conversation though politicians, preachers, parents, teachers, and the likes of them often talk to themselves, believing that those who are being addressed by them are actually listening.

My friends too often talk to themselves when we sit in a noisy place. Being somewhat hard of hearing, I cannot hear a thing when there is noise or music in the background. I learned to watch their facial expressions and I have developed a set of gestures, headshakes, and more facial expressions that I use to return conversation while they are blissfully unaware that they are talking to nobody but themselves.

Then of course, there are those who talk to the TV set. Discounting voice recognition technology to change channels, we all know that neither the TV, nor the person(s) displayed on the screen can hear or respond to you. Yet, you will often find people warning those on the screen of impending dangers, while coaches will sit on their couches in their lounges coaching their teams to victory or defeat.

This does not conform to the definition of normal conversation and must also be seen as talking to oneself. It is just as well those players cannot hear their coaches sitting on their couches; they damn well won’t know who to listen to.

But the clever people say that talking to oneself is not limited to verbal speech. Writing is also talking to yourself if it is not addressed to somebody in particular. Mind you, that sounds familiar. I have seen some blogs and comments doing exactly that; sometimes asking questions only to answer them as well in the next comment.

Well, enjoy the weekend or what is left of it.

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Feb 2015
in Comedy
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This is a list of Catfoot's Blogs. Click here for Catfoot's Blog List

Catfoot Blog (616)

A Complete Circle

A Closer Look At The Wheel.

Just In Time

Stormy Skies And Gales.

Five Things I Can Do Without

A Home At Last

Is there life out there?

Life Is But A Gamble

No Blog Today.Lol

Is it wrong?

A Very Special Day

Talking To Yourself?

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