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Your First Impressions

First impressions are never wrong, or so some people believe. I’m inclined to disagree, because we seldom get the opportunity to test our fist impressions and very often we confuse something else with first impressions.roll eyes

It takes about one tenth of a second to form a first impression and it is formed when we lay eyes on a stranger for the first time. It is based on visual appearance only and is a simple like or a dislike. When you instantly dislike the person, it is because your brain associates his looks with something or somebody that you already dislike. The same applies to those that you take an immediate liking to.thumbs up thumbs down

More than often, the stranger will walk on and you may never see him again. Those first impressions based on a fleeting moment of sight will remain untested forever unless if you happen to meet again.doh

When you have the chance to observe a stranger for a while, your first impressions are vastly expanded and overridden with a new set of data. You will be able to process some of his properties like age, race, culture, language, gender, personality, facial expressions, body language, accent, posture, and voice (amongst others) to form a much more accurate image of the person.wow

But this is no longer first impressions. You had ample time to sum him up while observing his mannerism and interaction with other people. It is a calculated assessment of the person. The accuracy of such an assessment depends on the time you had to observe him and your ability to judge people, but it can be clouded by your instant like or dislike of the person, as formed when you first saw him.professor

Keep your mind open. Don’t allow first impressions, formed in a tenth of a second, to obscure the virtues and the flaws of a stranger. He may be completely different from what you first perceived.idea
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Have a marvelous day.wave
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Visual Creatures

I often hear that men are visual creatures. If that is true, a blind man has a definite advantage over the seeing when it comes to sex. They see with their hands, don’t they? No, I don’t envy them; I don’t want to be blind, but I admire the way in which they adapt to their circumstances.thumbs up

About 35 years ago, I had a colleague who had a blind wife. Let’s call him Jakes. One day I saw them driving and I noticed what a beautiful woman she was. I remarked about her beauty to another colleague and he laughed and said that only a blind woman could marry Jakes. Only then, I learned that she was blind. Granted, Jakes was not good-looking at all, but I think she saw something else in him.dancing

I’m not going to go into the detail of how it came about, but one day after work, the situation arose that Jakes had to drive somebody home in that person’s own car and I had to follow them in his car. His wife was with me in his car. I did not know where our destination was. The traffic was thick and we were separated from one another. I cursed under my breath but she assured me that it is no problem. She said that she knew where they were going.doh

‘Big Deal’, I thought, but what a revelation it turned out to be. She started giving directions with detailed landmarks as we went along. She frequently asked for feedback as we drove. I asked her if she remembered all this from before she became blind. She said that she was born blind. Just when I thought we were lost forever, she told me to turn right at the next street corner and I will find Jakes at the fourth house on the left. Jakes was just coming out the house as we stopped in front of the gate.shock

While Jakes drove me back to my own car, I was amazed once more. As we drove along, he patiently explained to his wife, in vivid detail, everything he saw along the way. The traffic lights, the shops, other cars, pedestrians, trees, and everything else. Sometimes she probed him for more detail like color or size. He was her eyes.wow
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Have a great day!wave
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Bedroom Golf

This game is a perfect alternative to pocket billiards. Contrary to other ball games, you must play the course and not the balls. In order to score, you have to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. For most effective play, the club should have a rigid shaft, optionally rubber-coated for extra protection. Whereas the most sought after achievement in normal golf is to get a hole in one, the aim here is to get one in the hole.professor

The game strategy is to take as many strokes as necessary until the course owner is satisfied that play is completed. Failing to do so, may result in being denied permission to play the course again. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival at the course. It is advisable to take time to explore the entire course with special attention to well-formed bunkers. Experienced bunker players do well in this game.wow

The course owner is responsible for pruning any weeds around the hole to allow for improved viewing and approach to the hole. Slow play is encouraged, but players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace, at the course owner's request.devil

Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played before. Angry course owners have been known to damage players' equipment for this reason. Players are encouraged to bring proper rain gear for their own protection and should bear in mind that courses may sometimes be temporary closed due to periodic maintenance, in which case the handyman, Master Bates could be called on to solve the problem manually.doh

It is a delightful game if you can keep to the rules, though the green fees will escalate dramatically if you take a permanent lease on the golf course. Special care has to be taken when playing several courses at the same time; it can have a negative impact on your life expectancy.laugh
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Have a great day and try not to play all day.wave
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The Hunting Racket

The next time when you walk into some fat cat’s home to see the skin of a large antelope on the floor with the head mounted against the wall, complete with a few framed photographs of him posing with a hunting rifle, standing with one foot on the fallen animal, think again. He may have bought all of it.hmmm

While some of the people (from local and overseas) coming on a one-week hunting safari are experienced hunters, the majority of them have never hunted in their lives. All that they’re interested is having the trophies with tangible ‘proof’ that they shot the animal. Some of them even believe that hunting large antelopes is a cakewalk after having fired at humans with an automatic assault rifle in a combat situation.doh

But there is a vast difference between hunting kudu and hunting humans. Unlike humans, who drop to the ground when wounded, the kudu will run off. He’ll return with a wide arc and wait for you somewhere next to his own track. He knows that you will come after him and if you run into him unawares, he will kill you. At a close distance, a rifle is quite useless.help

To protect them against their own stupidity, inexperienced hunters are not allowed to hunt alone. They are assigned to a guide who is an experienced hunter. When the rookie aims and fire, the guide shoots as well to make sure the target goes down. And often the carcass only has one bullet hole, guaranteed to have come from the guide and not the ‘hunter’.scold

All that remains is to take a few photos of the ‘hunter’ posing over his kill, and the next day he goes home while his trophies are being processed and readied for export. And a few months later, when you walk into his house, you can admire the results of his African safari on the floor and against the wall.wow

I’m not a trophy hunter, but it annoyed me to look on while two American tourists claimed my kills. Aw well, they paid for it and I got the meat, so I should not complain too much.mumbling

If this is not a racket, I don’t want my name.uh oh
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Have a great day!wave
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Why Do We Have Emoticons?

I cannot claim to be an angel. In fact, I’m a little devil at the best of times, but it annoys me when somebody calls me a liar.

I cannot claim to be an angel. In fact, I’m a little devil at the best of times, but it mumbling me when somebody calls me a liar. Nothing can frustrated me more than danceline who blah blah about things they know nothing about, but somehow I always get stuck with them. I get confused when more than one gotta go try to blah blah to me at the same time and I thumbs down it when somebody blah all the time.

I gave up smoking for the umpteenth time a few months ago. I can get very mad with myself because I normally start smoking again after a year or so. This is so unlike to when I gave up drinking 30 years ago. I feel so thumbs up about it that I celebrate it with a few drink pouring whenever I get the opportunity.

I heart beating to party but I don’t like snooty people. When I go to a party, I normally position myself close to the bartender so I can wow the buddies making doh of themselves while I conversing up their shimmy flirty.

I wish we had many more emoticons so we could writing all our blogs like this. I realize that it will take more time in the beginning, but it will go much super once we get used to it.

I dunno if it worked but I tried this idea to wow if I can trick you into reading my whole blog.rolling on the floor laughing
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May you have a grand weekend.wave
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A Woman Needed Urgently

I have always wanted a partner and I only realized the other day that I have been looking for the wrong person all along. To formulate my desires, I sat down and wrote what I really wanted. Of course, the end result was not quite what I would normally post on my blog, so I had to sanitize it somewhat because I suspect that some of the people commenting on the blogs, may be as young as ten years old.doh

So this is what I require:
A tall well-build woman with good
reputation, who can cook frogs
legs, who appreciates a good fuc-
schia garden, classical music and tal-
king without getting too serious.


To mask my requirements from the under-aged, I inserted two lines to lead them astray. If you cannot work out which lines to skip or if you are offended by the end result, you are probably under age.laugh

I don’t believe this stuff, but my horoscope in this morning’s newspaper said that I’m to avoid the numbers two and four today, while one, three, and five will bring good luck. Maybe you should try it as well.giggle
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Have a great day.wave
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Yes, I Can Help!(you may be better off without it)

Being one of the senior members in our family, the younger generation often asks me for advice. Upon my return yesterday, I received this email from one of my nieces.shock

Dear Uncle Cat,
I need your advice. As you know, my husband is between jobs for the last six months and yesterday morning my car broke down while going to work. I had to walk about a mile back home to enlist my husband’s help; useless as he is. When I got home, I caught him in bed with the twenty-year old daughter of our neighbor. I confronted him and he admitted to having an affair with her for the last six months. I fear my marriage is on the rocks and I don’t know what to do.help
Your niece Annie.


Lucky for her, I have lots of experience regarding her dilemma. I’m including my reply in case any of you people should run into the same problem at some stage.grin

Dear Annie,
I noticed that your husband does not know much about the internal combustion engine. When a car stalls after being driven a short distance, the cause can be one or more of many things. Start by checking if the choke does not stick. If not, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the inlet manifold. You may also check for bare wires shorting against the engine. If that is not the problem, check for dirt in the fuel line. If none of the above solves the problem, it may be the fuel pump failing to get enough fuel to the carburetor. If you cannot solve the problem, give me a call and I’ll come over to sort it out.professor
Your uncle Cat.


She did not come back to me yet, so I can only assume the she got it sorted out. This is the problem with today’s youth. They never come back to say thank you.doh

Print this blog and keep it somewhere. You may need it in the future.laugh
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You have a great day out there.wave
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Traveling in Southern Africa

I see a lot of people did some extensive traveling around the globe. Well, I also did a bit of traveling in my day. I visited a number of neighboring states and I had an extended visit to Angola, and few shorter visits to Mozambique, Zimbabwe, Swaziland, & Botswana, all by courtesy of the South African Defense Force.laugh

The hotels were generally bad and the food was worse, so we mostly slept in the open veld eating canned food and drinking water that we carried with us. I don’t think they had any airports at the time because we had to jump out the flossies (transport planes) from 600 feet. What I enjoyed most of these visits was the complete lack of passport control. They never asked us for passports. There were no delays in entering or leaving the country.applause

I even met a celebrity like Dr Jonas Savimbi on two occasions. He was such a charismatic man! I wonder why they assassinated him.confused

I did not find the people very friendly; they were shooting at us on sight without asking any questions. It is no wonder we went there armed to the teeth. Maybe they did not want to encourage tourism at the time.grin

No chance for a game of golf, but we did play some Hopscotch on the minefields.uh oh

Regrettably, I never got to see Luanda. We were 38 km from the Angolan capital when we decided to go home. It is strange that we never got to see the capitals of any of the countries that we visited. The only exception was Windhoek in Namibia, which we saw quite often. At least they had a better sense of humor, they did not shoot at us.mumbling

Actually, I would like to visit those countries again. I wonder if tourists are more welcome now.grin
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May you enjoy this day.wave

PS. I’ll be missing for a few days. I’m leaving tonight.
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Sunday Morning Coming Down

Can a first cousin, once removed, be attached again? If so, I want to exhume his body. Just to tell him about the scandalous way in which his daughter and her married-on family left my house after I had to reprimand them (the twin brothers) for settling an argument in my front garden during the early hours of the morning. But I don’t feel like talking about them now.very mad

My father phoned very early this morning to inform me that he‘s not feeling well and won’t be having lunch with us, so I won’t be going either. I stayed in bed until a short while ago. And while I was in bed, my guests left without a thank you or a good bye. Now they are gone and I have to continue living next to my neighbors… but I said I don’t want to talk about them.doh

Anyway, my father skipped lunch two weeks ago as well and when I called on him that afternoon he was not in. His neighbor apparently knew something I did not know; for he made a discreet phone call, and me old man arrived some ten minutes later. And he could not wait for me to depart. I think he’s got a new girlfriend.grin

This leaves me with a dilemma. What do I eat today? I have been emptying my freezer because I’m going to shoot my yearly kudu shortly. I’ll be leaving on Thursday but I won’t be away for long, I normally go for two weeks, but I have a medical check-up scheduled for the 7th. Maybe I can have it postponed for a few days.dunno
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I’m not fond of chicken and I don’t eat burgers, so KFC and McDonald are out. I depleted my steaks last night and only have a few pork chops left in the freezer. Not exactly my favorite food, but they are quick to prepare. I’m going to try my new stick free pan today. There should be some salads left over from last night.idea

At least my far-off cousin makes a decent potato salad... Damn it, man! How many time must I say that I don't want to talk about them.frustrated
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I wish you all a grand Sunday. Yea, you too!wave
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The Famdamily again

A cousin, twice removed (my grandfather was her great-great-grandfather), who now lives a thousand miles from here, called me the other day. She asked if they (her husband and three children) could spend a few days with me when they visit Cape Town during the school holidays. I am very fond of her, so naturally, I said yes.cheering

Then came the second request. Will it be a problem if her husband’s twin brother comes along? I started seeing problems. He is also married with three children. I already have misgivings about her husband and if I have to put up with a look-alike as well, it was not something to look forward to. After a moment of doubt, I reluctantly agreed.uh oh

But it was still not the end. They will be coming to Cape Town by bus, she explained, and will need transportation. It will be ‘very much appreciated’ if they could use my car while they are here. I made such a mistake before; I was certainly not going to do it again. I suppose I could have offered them the use of my dilapidated one-ton pick-up truck, but I curtly refused the request. She sounded a bit disappointed but promised to make another plan.doh

Well, a plan they made. I expected them on Monday but they arrived out of the blue earlier today in two shiny white Japanese cars. The terrible twins, their spouses and six children between them, their ages ranging from two to eleven. Mercifully, they will be leaving for another family member on Tuesday or Wednesday. I’m hoping for Tuesday rather than Wednesday.hmmm

Six little angels.devil
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They have only been here for only a few hours and already I’m up the bend. I politely excused myself with the story that I have important work to do and withdrew upstairs to my playroom. The kids are up and down the wooden staircase driving me mad. I will have to stop it before I go completely nuts. I wonder if one can buy nerve gas at the pharmacy.idea
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Enjoy your weekend; I won’t have the opportunity to do that.doh
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The Missing Person’s Department.

My cat is missing since yesterday. He went out in the late afternoon just before the rain started. It rained uninterruptedly for eight or nine hours and by the time I went to bed, he was not home yet. This morning when I woke up, he was still amiss.sigh

This is completely out of character for him. Since I had him ‘fixed’, he has not slept out once. Before that, he was a bit of a stroller. He is notorious for stowing away in cars, and it is not inconceivable that he caught a plane. It is perfectly possible that he could find himself in the USA, Scotland or even somewhere in the East this morning. If you happen to see him, please tell him to come home. I’m sorry that I gave his food to the dog.sad flower

To assist you, I’m placing one of his baby snaps (they always get more sympathy), but bear in mind that he is about two years old now. He reacts to the name Monsieur which gives him a rudimentary knowledge of French, so he may even be in Paris.help
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He was last seen wearing a brown corduroy pants and a tweed jacket. He does hide behind sunglasses sometimes.cool

And while we’re on the topic, what happened to Virgo? Next month it will be a full year since I last saw him and he used to be a very regular blogger. Can anybody cast some light there?dunno
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Have a great day. I hope you have sunshine, we only have rain.wave
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We Are Surrendering Without A War

Modern men are just lame, too passive and not standing for their rights; forever trying to be politically correct. This is mainly because they have been deprived of their pride – the privilege to care for their families.professor

It appears to be more advantageous to be gay. Somehow, it is perfectly acceptable to say you want to be a woman, but when you try to be a man, everybody jumps on the bandwagon. Women are not satisfied with equality. They want to dominate, and in the process, they are causing men to feel uncomfortable about being men. Men no longer care about being a ‘real man’. All they strive for is to be politically correct.doh

Men are avoiding long-term commitments altogether; buying a house is no longer considered to be a good investment, and no longer do they see a proper education as important. We are rapidly losing the basic building block of our civilization – the family, and children are raised without discipline or routine.sigh

Well-off men refuse to get married because it is a one-sided venture that entitles women to half of their possessions and future earnings via a divorce settlement, even if they cheated. In the US the paternity fraud rate is as high as 30% in some states; think about it, three out of every ten children are raised and supported by unsuspecting men, fraudulently convinced that they are caring for their own offspring(*). With the average cost of raising a child to the age of 18, now standing at 245,000 US$, we are talking about a major crime.wow

Neither men nor women need to dominate. We are about equal in numbers. It is only in the higher age brackets that women have superior numbers. That is only because men die earlier… after working all their lives to provide their families with a comfortable old age. The mere fact that 80% of all residents in retirement centers are women enjoying a comfortable old age – thanks to the efforts of a late husband, can testify to that.cheering

Modern men no longer see provision as paramount and sometimes, when you see the fruit of a lifetime’s labor being squandered on a toy boy, it can easily be understood. Men are rejecting the idea of being a ‘real man’, because there’s no logical reason to be one. They are trying to avoid a situation that places them at a disadvantage.grin

The countries in the West with their sophisticated constitutions and so-called human rights bills are getting weak, and in the end, we will be over-run by the countries where men are still allowed to be men. There will be nobody to defend against them because our men will no longer be men.scold

It happened in Rome and history will still repeat itself. And it may just happen that the dis-empowered men of the West, having nothing to defend, will see the invaders as liberators. We are digging our own graves.hole
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Have a nice day and don’t slaughter me! It is only opinion.laugh

(*) (Alarming)shock
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