Catfoot Blog

How Long?

The 25 year period following 1990 was characterized by rapid advances in the field of information technology. It was very much like the early days of the railroad.

Every few years a new locomotive was build which was bigger, better and stronger than its predecessors. Only computers developed much faster. Every few months a new computer hit the market that was smaller, stronger and faster. And with it came bigger hard drives, more memory and more powerful new software.

Information that was almost unobtainable previously, is now available with a few mouse clicks, admittedly not always accurate, but available.

How long before odors and tastes too will be digitized? Imagine watching the Grand Prix on TV, getting the smell of burned tires and exhaust fumes in your nostrils.

How long will it be before knowledge will be downloaded directly from the human brain to be saved on a storage device for later use. Think of the advantages if such knowledge (and even experience) could be uploaded to another brain. Need to learn a new language? No problem, just slip in another disc. Schools will become an outdated concept overnight. No longer will an Einstein’s knowledge perish with the brain.

But this is not limited to humans only. What if your new puppy could be uploaded with a complete set of doggie manners? Think of the brand new practice of slavery if baboons could be uploaded with the knowledge to perform useful tasks.

A bit far fetched you may think but maybe not so, considering that as recent as fifty years ago, the marvels that we now accept as the norm in computers were deemed to be impossible.

Something is only impossible until somebody figures out a way how to do it.

May you all have a marvelous day.

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Jun 2016
in Technology
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Smart Phones

I recently replaced my Nokia Express Music with a Sony Xperia. I liked the Nokia; it served me well but it was grossly behind times.

Mastering the Android system took a day or two and at one stage it had me so consumed that I though I would not bother about my laptop anymore. It opened a new world to me and I spent hours installing new apps and reading books on-line. I loved the way you can restore it to factory setting and start all over again. Wonderful, I thought… until I tried to do some serious browsing. That was when I lost half my interest in it.

When I logged on to CS, the other half went. Sorry, I got too used to the bigger screen and a proper keyboard. I tried to comment on somebody’s blog and half way I gave it up for a bad job. My fingers are too dumb for the small keys on the screen and what I did not misspell, the auto-correct function messed up; in stead of just leaving the good words while correcting my mistakes! Back to my faithful old laptop.

I know a lot of people here use their mobiles on CS and they are probably pretty happy with it, but I did not make it; though I still enjoy reading ebooks with it. Maybe I should have gotten a tablet instead but they are too large and clumsy. After all, I just wanted a new phone; one that can slip into my shirt or jacket’s pocket.

Not that I’m unhappy with the phone. On the contrary, I like it very much. I even use the calendar; something I have never used before. I have Whatsapp going and I’m thinking about installing Skype, even though I don’t like apps like that. Too many people troubling me. I don’t have the patience to sit and text all day.

I have a problem though. I cannot get any memory card to work in it. I checked on the web and it seems to be a general issue with the Xperia. If somebody here got a memory card to work in it, please let me know what make it is.

Have a great day, will ya!

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Jun 2016
in Technology
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Idle Threats

Of all the creatures on this planet, humans remain the weirdest; as anther weirdo proved last week again.

A nearby electrical shop is closing down and they had a sale last week. Everything had to go by Saturday and, as a result, they have marked down their goods substantially. I went around on Thursday to see what spares I can pick up for a bargain.

While talking to one of the salesmen, a man came walking in; carrying two fancy light fittings. “I want to return this. I bought it here yesterday”, he said to the cashier. She explained that it cannot be done because it is a closing down sale.

“Bullshit”, he said, “I have the slip here. You people should have signs up if you don’t take returns.”

The cashier pointed it out to him that there were signs all over; one at each entrance, one at each pay point and three large signs suspended from the ceiling. “And”, she said, “it is printed on your slip.” And indeed, the signs were large and prominent.

“Look”, he replied angrily, “I paid a lot for this stuff and I don’t want it anymore. Why didn’t you point it out to me?” The poor girl explained to him once more that she cannot help him. By this time everybody in the shop were watching.

“You should put up better signs! How the f*ck do you expect people to see it!” he yelled as he stormed out the shop. “I’ll never buy from you again!” he shouted as he went out the door.

The salesman looked at me with an amused smile. “That’s for certain,” he said, “We’re closing on Saturday.”

And a great week coming for all of you.

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Jun 2016
in Opinionated
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On-Line Loving

Shortly after I joined CS, somebody ask me to be her online lover. The idea sounded great and not knowing what it entails, I agreed.

I thought on-line loving was an opportunity to get to know somebody with the idea to meet each other eventually, but I was wrong. Apparently it consisted of ten minutes of dirty talking while fantasizing about somebody you have never met. I could foresee that the exchange of funny photos would be the next thing.

I have heard of this sort of thing happening over a telephone line but it has never been my scene. Of course it could not last and it died a sudden death. I fail to see how people can get a kick out of this. My on-line lover disappeared without trace - undoubtedly to resurface under another name.

But the incident was not forgotten. I still wonder how often this happens. Is it a common practice behind the scenes or was this an isolated case? Have you had any such proposals? Am I just prudent or is this the in thing?

Have a whale of a day.

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Jun 2016
in Dating & Relationships
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Asking The Right Questions

Some people have the talent to ask all the wrong questions and I have a habit of answering a question straight as it was asked.

My one window is about one meter from the neighbor’s fence and a few months ago he hollered across the fence asking me if I know the time. I said I don’t know what the time is. I heard him mumbling some abuse as he walked back into his home. The next day he would not greet me.

On the third day I tackled the bull by the horns and walked around to him, asking him what’s his beef with me. He said I refused to tell him the time.

“I did no such thing”, I said. “I answered your question very truthfully. I did not know the time. I suppose I could have looked on my watch, but that was not what you asked for.”

Then he saw the light. “Man, you knew what I meant”, he retorted.

“No”, I said. “I did not know what you meant. You asked the wrong question and now you are upset with me because I answered it correctly. Had you asked for the time, I would certainly have told you.”

He looked at me with a half-grin and said: “Man, you just want to talk shit again. Come inside, my beer is getting warm.” We sat there with a beer each and laughed about the incident.

But that is the way I am. I ask questions direct and to the point. Badly worded questions like “Do you know the time?”, May I ask your name?”, “What’s the time in there?” and the likes of it, will always get a shitty reply from me.

Only my mother could get away with ‘Do you know the time?’ It was not a question; it was a statement and it was always met with the same response. I would say “Yes mom” and head straight for bed. She did not tolerate my BS and even then I knew what was good for me.

May this day turn out wonderful.

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Jun 2016
in Opinionated
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A Private Zoo?

Being in the first stages of winter, the spiders that decorated the granadilla plant outside my window are seeking shelter in my home again. As they eat flies, I did not mind too much.

Following closely on their heels, came the geckos. At first they were quite welcome as they kept the spider population in check. They multiplied in numbers so rapidly that it became a problem. I don’t like using poison so I’m thinking about introducing a few rats to curb their numbers.

But rats are prolific breeders and they are not likely to stick to a diet of geckos. To keep their numbers within acceptable levels, I will have to keep a few pythons. They love rats. Then I thought about getting a few iguanas. They eat snake eggs and that should prevent an explosion of the snake population. But what to do about the iguanas when they breed? I cannot expand the food chain indefinitely; my place is too small and I’m not likely to enjoy eating iguanas.

But it should be nice to have such a lot of exotic pets without having to feed them. Almost like having my own private zoo.

On second thoughts, a private zoo will be a bad idea. Going to the zoo will become an everyday event and I will be no longer be enjoying my visits to a certain on-line dating site.

One should be careful when visiting a zoo. They may not allow you to leave. But have a great day.

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Jun 2016
in Opinionated
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In My Opinion

Insanity is sheer brilliance in disguise.

Stupidity is just that.

A strong will is just stubbornness.

Meek and weak do not have the same meaning.

Being soft is not a weakness.

Thinking and pondering is not the same thing.

To some, thinking may be a new experience.

Hidden beneath the flaws of imperfection is absolute beauty.

Totally ridiculous is better than being plain boring

Pursue the unusual for investigating the ordinary will only uncover monotony. The exceptional will always outshine the conventional.

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Apr 2016
in Opinionated
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Friends

Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are. That’s right, birds of feather flock together. If your friends are thieves, then you are a thief too or well on your way becoming one.

Being on friendly terms with some people does not make them your friends; they are mere acquaintances. Granted, some better acquainted than others, but still only acquaintances. Friendship is something much deeper. One can almost call it a platonic love affair.

Your neighbors are not your friends. You know them due to the proximity of your dwellings. When you meet by chance, you greet each other and maybe exchange a few words just to be civilized.

Your colleagues are not your friends; they were bestowed on you by your employer. You communicate with them because you need to in order to fulfill your duties. Unless you meet regularly outside working hours, you’re not friends; only colleagues.

The other members of your sports team are not your friends. Neither are the pals who regularly drink with you in the pub. I smile when I see somebody referring to on-line ‘friends’. We’re not friends; we are correspondents. Look how often some of us disappear without trace. Is that how friends behave?

While it is perfectly possible to have one or more of any of the above people as friends, they do not become that automatically. Friendship develops and evolves at its own pace. If it is not on, it will soon die a natural death.

Unlike your family who are yours by birth, you chose your friends because you like them and approve of their way of living. You respect and trust them enough to invite them into your home. Your friends are almost more important than your family. You will be judged by your friends. Your friends will make you… or they will break you.

As they say, if you sleep with the dogs, you wake up with the fleas.

You have a great day!!

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Apr 2016
in Opinionated
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In The Event Of A Nuclear Attack

With all the madmen on our planet, the possibility of a nuclear attack has never been more real. Quite a few countries are in possession of nuclear warheads and are capable of delivering them anywhere in the world. Terrorist groups may soon find a leader insane enough to provide them with the necessary hardware.

For us, living in some of the poorer countries, there is no hope, but if your country possesses an early warning system, even if you only have a few minutes to act, you can make the most of it if you can keep your head.

Simply follow these steps when you receive the first warning, but hurry; you may not have much time.

1. Stay clear of all windows.
2. Switch off all appliances; electric, gas or otherwise.
3. Shut off the electric and gas supply. Not the water.
4. Put out all cigarettes, candles, and open fires.
5. Start filling the bath and basins with cold water.
6. Remove spectacles, contact lenses, hearing aids and tampons.
7. Empty pockets of all sharp objects such as pens and pencils.
8. Loosen neckties, brassieres, corsets, and shoelaces.
9. Unbutton coat and any other restrictive clothing.
10. Take shelter under a strong table and wait for the blast.
11. Immediately upon seeing the brilliant flash of nuclear explosion, bend over and place your head firmly between you legs.
12. Then, if you have the time, kiss your azz goodbye.

I hope you have the time to follow these simple steps. It is unlikely that it will help, but at least you will arrive at the other side, knowing that you tried your best.

You don't have to pay me for this valuable advice. I render it as a free service in the interest of survival.

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Apr 2016
in HowTo
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Respect

Everybody, from the humble street sweeper to the head of the nation, deserves our respect; at least until he proves to be not worthy of it.

Respect goes a long way and it is synonymous with good manners. Good manners dictate that we should respect our fellow man. Fair enough, sometimes we lose our respect for a certain person, but that is still no reason to be rude.

We respect our employers, senior colleagues, and the likes by default. Those who don’t will soon enough be able to call themselves ex-employees or at best they will sit and watch how promotions pass them by year after year. Protocol demands that we respect our seniors; if not the person, then his position. That of course, are those who know what is good for them. You will get those who will blame the system and not recognize their own disrespectful nature.

And we respect older people. Take Jim for an instance. I respect him even though he is a cupcake thief. I owe him that because he is older than what I am. Rubbing his age under his nose is not out of disrespect; it is merely being honest.

But not everybody is capable of respect. Respect and narcissism, for an example, are mutually exclusive. Narcissists find it difficult to respect anybody but the self. They believe that others are inferior to them and as such, have to earn their respect. Of course, nobody ever can, because nobody can ever do anything good in their eyes. Oh, they will throw morsels to those who suck up to them but that is just to encourage them to keep it up and to give them hope that they (the narcissists) may still evolve into a normal human being with feelings.

In short, you have to pay respect to receive respect. There is no need to suck up, just be polite and respectful and doors will open at places where you did not even know doors existed.

May you all have a wonderful day.

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Apr 2016
in Opinionated
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Oh Sheeeet! Not again

In another daring caper, thieves made off with 160 boxes of cupcakes stolen from a warehouse in Malaysia last night. They escaped on a sledge pulled by 8 reindeer and then vanished into thin air. This was the tenth time in as many months that this warehouse was plundered.

The owner of the warehouse, a well-known Malaysian cupcake producer whose name may not be mentioned due to the CS ban on ads, said that the cupcakes were insured, but her six Dobermans are very ashamed and depressed for failing her once again after being doped. She said that they will recover fully but to restore their confidence, they will probably need counseling which will cost an arm and a leg.

General Electric, the spokesman for Interpol, said that they suspect it was the work of an international syndicate with roots in the US and South Africa. He also said that they are investigating reports that a female Indonesian national was seen feeding the reindeer at a truck stop somewhere in the middle East. He added that their only lead was that the one villain was addressed as Jim by his accomplice. The other one remains an enigma.

General Electric asked that anybody who notices a sledge, eight reindeer, two men and a woman, heading west, to report it to the nearest police station, and cautioned the public not to approach these villains if they are encountered. He said that there is nothing gentle about the one named Jim. He could be dangerous as he showed in their archives dressed in a Special Forces uniform full of medals.

The case took a new twist when an unnamed eye-witness with a broad South African accent testified that the woman was only hitching a ride to South Africa and not involved in the crime. He also suggested that Interpol should take a closer look at the owner as this could be an insurance scam. He (the eye-witness) has since vanished.

We have just learned that Santa Claus reported the theft of a sledge and 10 reindeer. In their hurry to get away, the thieves left a gummy bag with a Special Forces uniform behind. A police spokesman denied the possibility of the two cases being related as the numbers of reindeer do not correspond. The US government denied any knowledge of the theft and blamed it to Islamic extremists.

There is no truth in these rumors going around that I may have been involved. I must deny these allegations and I distance myself from this incident. The police should rather have look at Santa Claus who reported 10 reindeer stolen when only 8 were borrowed. If you ask me he's trying to con his insurance.

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Apr 2016
in News
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Hypocrisy And Graffiti

Oh dear me, the British language had me stumbling for words when I was young. But by the time I finished school, I have learned a few English words. Not too many though; the most notable were the three words ‘graffiti’, ‘hypocrite’ and ‘narcissist’. I hope I spelled it correctly. But anyway, I won’t be talking about the latter word today.

I can still remember the day most vividly when our teacher explained the word ‘hypocrite’ as being a person who criticizes other people for the very things that he himself is guilty of. Now, after all these years, I discovered that he did not teach us the entire definition of the word. Apparently it does not count when you criticize somebody for raising his opinion without pointing a finger at anybody while suggesting an alternative with it.

No, I won’t be calling anybody a hypocrite today for that will put me in the same category. The word ‘hypocrite’ does not enjoy the same conditional protection as ‘criticize’. Besides, I’m not very good at mudslinging. When I engage in mudslinging contests, I usually lose.

For that reason I rather retreat to a safe distance when there is a lot of mud flying around. I have learned that when you sling mud (or when you stir shit) you normally get yourself full of it as well. It is more fun to stand on the sidelines watching the ~~gun~~mudslingers (and shit stirrers) soiling themselves.

Besides, what is the point of leaving graffiti on a wall when the proprietor is known to wash it off before anybody can read it if he (or she

) does not like the message therein. I suppose the wall will be demolished afterwards as well.

Methinks some people just like to stir shit. Let’s face it; it is a sure way to get attention. As they say in show business: there is no such thing as bad publicity.

So, the weekend is on us. What now?

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Apr 2016
in Opinionated
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This is a list of Catfoot's Blogs. Click here for Catfoot's Blog List

Catfoot Blog (616)

How Long?

Smart Phones

Idle Threats

On-Line Loving

Asking The Right Questions

A Private Zoo?

In My Opinion

Friends

In The Event Of A Nuclear Attack

Respect

Oh Sheeeet! Not again

Hypocrisy And Graffiti

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