would you ever consider getting back with your ex
It has been 12 years since we have been apart. We have seen each other from time to time...and me, I always avoided her if I could. Whenever I would see her out, she was with a different guy each time. Honestly, it never bothered me. I was glad to see her out and hopefully happy. However, from what I knew of her...she really took a path of destruction in her life. There was nothing good I have ever heard from others about her. Again, I didn't care...we were not together but these people knew we were together and could never hold back from telling me...she did this...she got involved here and there....all of it was never good.When she first cheated on me, which ultimately lead to me breaking up with her....initially...I told myself that she would genuinely apologize, that I would consider trying to make things work. At least at that time, I would believe she honestly felt bad about her actions and just maybe, she would consider me in the relationship if we stay together. After we initially separated, days went by and then weeks....yet, no apology. Then that is when I figured, this is indeed the end and prepared my life for a new path.
Last night rolls around, twelve years later. My buddy and I decide to go out to the casino, get a bite to eat and play a quick $20 in the machines. I sit on one machine and my buddy says, I will be over here. I check what direction he walks in so I can find him later and I play my machine. After playing, I get up and go looking for him. When I walk around a cluster of machines, there he is...sitting next to my ex and chatting with her. Initially my reaction is just to turn around...never seen...and just walk away, but I am getting tired and want to round up my buddy. So there is where it all starts. My ex and I end up sitting for an hour chatting. She is drunk and emotionally all over the place....going on about how she is single and hinting at getting a room there. I just change the subject and listen.
At this time, I am dropping subtle hints about it is getting late and I am tired and I need to go. As we are departing, she says...I am sorry for everything. An apology after 12 years. I did give her a hug and then left.
I think that is the first time I heard that word from her mouth...ever.
Now of course she was drunk. But it is said that when people are drunk, their filters come down. Meaning..that they feel freer to express what is really going on in their heads.
Has she seen enough of the single life to realize that grass was not greener?
Was she just feeling lonely at that moment and just wanted company?
Or, was she genuinely sorry and wanted to make amends?
Or, should it be just another "thing"...and once trust is lost...it is lost for ever?
What do you think?
Comments (92)
My thought is that she is looking back and realizing that she once had a good man 12 years ago. She wants the life you once gave her. Do you really want the life she gave you 12 years ago??
People change for a minute and then they turn back to their true self.
I hope you make the best decision that will make you happy for the future and not base it on what your life was like with her in the past.
Her being drunk certainly does factor into things here. I must say, I am in no hurry to make any fast moves. I am thinking she will have a new boyfriend tomorrow...and perhaps all that might have been is just words in the heat of the moment...but perhaps not. The longer I think about things and consider opinions here...I must say the potential of us ever getting back together become grimmer.
Thank you.
If I am getting your message right...it is simpler, cheaper, and comes with less stress in the end.
Some great advice to consider.
I will say, living with somebody who is ultra insecure with themselves....can create a sort of prison for the partner.
Thank you.
In these situations, the guy at the liquor store says he recommends Heavy Drinking before making any decisions.
Being a person that is there "if you ever want to talk about it"-hopefully is standing alone when that offer
is made.There are some good and some bad guys who listen to women, drunk ones at that.
Did anyone else wonder what would have happened
if your friend was alone when he bumped into her.
Maybe he will later
I hope not
Maybe he was playing a machine next to her trying to get the mother lode!!
Thanks for sharing. Perhaps...a thought that just occurred to me....a good question would be what would it take for someone to get back with their ex.
I guess what it may take for someone to get back with their ex is if they both still love each other & if they trust one another. It could possibly work then.
I see he was the problem, Peter Pan syndrome.
I saw how life had been with him. Not that bad..but also not that good. And I know to return to it was not what I wanted. He never changed.
It turned out his wife bought another house...told him she never planned to spend her entire life in the trailer. She said move with me whenever you want. He never did. Ended up they found him dead of a heart attack at 53. In the trailer, surrounded with LPs, car parts and what he deemed worthwhile. He left behind 150 VWs of various condition and 1000 junk tires.
I thank HIM for leaving. Could I have saved him? Probably not, she couldnt either.
I'll simply take the good part and move on to the next and enjoy the next adventure
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sorry to hear about your ex.
I think we all have to realize we are free souls, or at least we are lead to believe we are free anyway. It is great if two free souls cohabitate for life, but if they part...they are still free souls to wonder. Nobody owns them....bottom line.
It is nice to see you still around the blogs.
Thank you for sharing your experience also. I feel the same....that is if there is the next for me.
The lady replies, "Oh yeah? Well, then you know what you can with your darn bus!"
Bus driver reacts, "Yes, and if you can do the same with your dog, you can ride my bus."
has she happened to get in touch since that night?
does she remember what she said and did that night?
if the answer is "NO" to any of those questions is a BUZZZ - FAIL.
keep on keep on...in the search
@What do you think?
In my opinion, her apology was genuine mixed with some regret that she should have done it earlier.
I liked your blog post. Thank you.
We don't want Johnny boy to be somebody doormat no matter what she calls herself.
My friend paul374 was once talking about a sole mate... back in the day.
Do you remember him Crypt? He worked as a survl.cam installer. Once he was on top of one of the twin towers in foggy conditions and suddenly realized his harness was unhooked.
Well it's because of your honesty and then your boldness, which usually people avoid to discuss the personal matters with practicality and neutrality.