Here I sit watching world go by
In colours drab and drear
I don't know why I feel this way
Why this depression has a hold on me
I drink and drink all day and night
It does not cheer, makes me feel morose
The coke I sniff costs me so much
Yet I think I'm badly hooked
People look and say, "Hey man,
You got the world at your feet."
But none of it matters at all
And I really don't know why
I contemplate the final end
As to how, where and when
My kids I adore, but no thought of them
Nor of my wife who loves me so
Decision made, the deed I'll do
A rope around my neck
One swift kick, the chair flies
Across the room it bounces
The rope so tight around my neck
It chokes the life from me
Last thought that crosses my mind
Too late, I want to live
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2014
About this poem:
Depression is a terrible thing ... Lost a good friend many years ago
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Witches on the wall
White headed grinning demon stooping over a chopping block
Chopped off heads in various stages of decomposition
Sister chopped into cubes by my angry father
If you don't shut up this will happen to you
Screams of agony in pitch black darkness
Trapped in hell
No hope to escape
Fathering a daughter I have to raise at home
It's your turn to change the diaper
Iraq
St. Louis police
Chimpanzee in a zoo
Robin Williams hanging from a door
These haunting thoughts
They occupy my dreams
They occupy my reality
I think it's time to day dream
Dream of something far happier
Far more peaceful
To go to a place where there is really love
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Aug 2014
About this poem:
Just thinking back on some of the nightmares I've had and the nightmares of the reality I live in.
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In a cemetery our memory lays,
By the shadow of a forgotten grave,
All around dead flowers and grass,
The marble stone all broken and cracked,
I rarely come to this lonely place,
So full of sadness I dare not stay,
One day my soul will pass through the never,
Then in the end...we will be together...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2015
About this poem:
So hard when loved ones pass...
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Are we like candles
flames are our dreams
like the sound of a lit match
dipped in water
perhaps that is love...
Diseased with love
disconsolate with shades of bile
the dream of death in daylight
shoveling to survive
I said, "I love you"
you said, "I love you too"
it was nausea
then we wandered into different rooms..
You were the pale blue sky
milking the moonless night
I was the crow virus
fettered by rain...
Pure genetic providence
intellectual procedure
amalgamation of predisposed chromosomes
thrown into existence
with the ambiguity of Kierkegaard...
Some call it happily ever after...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: May 2014
About this poem:
Brought to you tonight by red wine and delta 9 THC...
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Hey there girl I miss you dearly,
And I mean that quite sincerly,
I've very nearly lost my mind,
Not having you by my side,
They say that time heals all wounds,
But I will never be over you,
Whenever life depresses me,
I drift of to your memory,
Remembering the times we shared,
Hoping that you truly cared,
As much as I still care for you,
Despite doing what we had to do,
I realize now we're truly through,
I just read another letter from you,
You're talking about this other dude,
And how he says your special too,
I knew one day that I would lose,
My bruised heart, all black and blue,
Has just been ripped and torn in two,
Guess there's nothing I can do,
There'll be others like him too,
I hope they die before I do,
I hope when they breathe their last breath,
I am there to watch their death!,
Thats my broken heart doing its best,
To try and escape this aching chest,
I still wish you the best in life and love,
May happiness follow wherever you go,
I want you to know,
I still dream of you at night,
Your always there when I close my eyes,
If everyone on this earth was to die,
Everything would be fine,
With you by my side,
Its like I have died,
Now that you left me,
All I have are these memories,
These horrible things that scream your name,
I wish that they would go away,
And my poor broken heart,
Will stay where it's at,
So it cannot be attacked,
Alone and scared Ill play along,
Till the blessed day Im gone,
Just know I dont want to go on,
Still I know I must go on,
Till the game is lost or won,
Till the day that I am done...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2014
About this poem:
Another shower ditty...sad wandering tune...
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What my future holds I truly do not know. As each day passes I hold every smile and every tear throught the year. I awate every second every hour and every new day as my future makes all brand new. I embrace your comming and ponder your past wondering what dreams will come true at last. My future your are the first thing I see and you will be my last untill my time on this earth has passed.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jan 2014
About this poem:
just thinking
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Looking beyond discovery
within one universe
The dark side
faceless without moon
Illusion shadows
Taking you there
pages within turn
As pipes
begin lamenting
From the deep
begin blowing
Were a fire burns
Heart burning dreams
Nightmares of reality
A maze
Of colours
Begin fading
Imprisoned eerily
Invading black cells
Opening hell's gate
Eating into light
Meaningless hurt
Inflicted upon ache
The animal inside
Begins to roar
Deep churning emotions
Mixing feelings
in a cauldron
Slowly dying inside
To enter the land
In walking dead
Darkness in your love
eats into pain
Demonic torture
Cold face
Of truth
Light within reason
Slowly coming out
Of the dark
Clouds shedding tears
A crow caws
Entering one
grey area
As the bell strikes
Tolling slowly
echoed in
the deep cave
A heart died
Out of love
Here lies
One broken heart
Buried
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Oct 2013
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You're in my dreams!,
I hear these echoing screams,
I need to breathe!,
You keep smothering me,
When your fire burns,
There's nowhere to turn,
You attack me with words,
Like you don't know how it hurts,
Now my backs to the wall,
I don't want to fall,
I've got nowhere to go,
You have to leave me alone,
But you're in my dreams,
You're in my dreams...
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Apr 2013
About this poem:
I hate it,
I can't forget you,
Can't erase the day I met you...
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In the inner most
Deepest depths,
you tortured me
until there was no beauty left
A vile monster
with lying tongues
In my ocean deep
You became slimy
You attacked me
without a heart
Hurting me
In the depths
Creeping like seaweed
all around me
Covering your lies
Disguised as truth,
leaving a horrible stench
In my ocean
Piece by piece
In tearing through the crack
Reaching for the light of truth
Barely able
To breathe
You will not drown me
With your loveless heart
The tide is turning
You no longer smell sweet
I see a monster
Buried deep
You left your scar
Your vile treatment
In the stench of hurt
Looking to the heaven's
I bled for you
you choose
To put me in hell
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2013
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As the daybreak crawls
Up in the distant horizon,
the dawning of my reality
Night falls in darkness
invading my light
Betrayal the ultimate heart break,
in a shattered mirror
a million pieces
I try to put together
In the falling droplets,
like silver pearls
you give me hurt
Falling you,
my one time treasure
In frozen time
the crystal falls
a shattered splash
On my earth
In the dirt
I leave my hurt,
hidden from the outer you,
hating what you made of me
in the heart
Scared to love
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Posted: Jul 2013
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